“The challenge has been that we have not had enough time for our kids because of the work that we do. And that’s the reason why the little time we have with them we try to maximize and give them as much love as we can muster and catch up on what we have lost.

“Though, we see them every day but I think we have not given them enough love, the kind of love and time I would have loved to give to them. That to me is one of the biggest drawbacks of the last 15 years,” he laments.

However, Duker adds laughing, a bright look in his eyes: “But I think that it is good for us because we started very early. In the next couple of years, our kids will be out of the university; one is entering next year. May be at that point we will have time for them. But I think the most important thing is that my wife and I have come this far and we have tremendous respect for each other.”

Marriage secret

Only recently, Duker and his wife celebrated 15 years of marriage. What has the last 15 years been like for the Dukers?

A smile creases his features as the movie producer, who met his wife 18 year ago in Ogba, Lagos, responds: “I keep saying that I married my friend and I keep advising anyone who wants to get married to marry someone you consider a friend, it makes it easier and more cordial in the sense that you understand each other to a greater extent and you’re able to operate in an environment like the showbiz environment where marriages break up and crumble every day and remain sane.

“But the good thing for us is that we have been able to respect each other. If you want your marriage to work, one person must be the fool. I mean fool in quote. One person must be able to submit to the other, either the man or woman, and it’s not a constant thing. Sometimes it could be the man and at other times it is the woman. At a point in time you as the man will submit and at another time it is the woman that will submit, so for me, that’s basically what I think has kept my marriage for this past 15 years. I think that is what should happen in marriage.”

But is the relationship still as romantic as when they got married 15 years ago? Hear Duker: “We are always together and work together and we see each other every day. I think ours is a different one. We are always together despite been married for 15 years and its getting more and more interesting.”

On Abuja Film Festival

Duker, an ex-president of Directors Guild of Nigeria (DGN), who was recently elected President of African Festival Network, has been involved in over 35 home video films in the last 15 years including Blood of Brothers, King of Money, Nemesis, Scandals and Destined To Die to mention a few.

10 years ago, Duker’s dream to establish Nigeria’s biggest film festival came to fruition after the maiden edition of the Abuja Film Festival, which he describes as ‘the biggest English language film festival in West Africa’. What should the world expect at this year’s edition coming up in October? Duker is animated as he responds with his head tilted at an angle: “It’s our 10th edition and so expect a bigger and better festival. Our vision has always been to improve every year, which has been the case in the last 10 years. We are planning to expand the programme by one day. We have added one or two more categories to the award segment as well, so it promises to be a bomb as we celebrate our 10th anniversary!”

Ten years down the road, how has the journey been? “Challenging,” he says waving his hands, “challenging in the sense that when you operate in a system where the kind of funding and sponsorship you’re expecting is not forth coming, you have to look for other ways to survive. Our beginnings were very humble. My wife and I started from the scratch 10 years ago. But I think we have grown to become the longest running film festival in West Africa today – for English films – so I think to a large extent we have done very well considering the harsh economic reality.”

Today, AIFF has become a major brand. Were there moments they almost quit? “Like I said earlier, the biggest challenge we faced back then was in the area of funding. But we have been able to overcome that because we have devised other ways of raising funds. What’s more; our major intention at the beginning was not the financial angle. We focused on a platform that would create activity and content and enrich the industry.

“When we started 10 years ago, it was because we realized that there was a lacuna in that area of Nollywood. Thank God it was a success. After our festival, we had other stuff coming up like AMAA Awards and Zuma Film Festival and all that. It was that gap we were trying to fill and we were able to fill it. Today, we have come a long way as we have about 25 film festivals in Nigeria. This for us is a major boost for the motion picture industry. We are proud that we have been able to improve standards, which has been our major target.

http://africzone.com/my-only-regret-after-15-years-of-marriage-fidelis-duker/