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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / As I Lay Dying… (1092 Views)
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As I Lay Dying… by TemiBalrog: 3:43pm On Jun 18, 2013 |
Sometimes waking up seems to be the hardest thing in the world (second only to ironing & folding laundry). You pop one eye open and then the next as you silently swear at the alarm for doing its job. Did I say “sometimes”? Ok… it happens to me all week except weekends. It’s not like I’m lazy, but I’m definitely not a morning person. I love to sleep till I’m tired of sleeping; we all do this, right? Ok. Moving on… 5:00 am, March 11th, 2012 This was supposed to be one of those lazy days I talked about earlier and as usual 6 hours of sleep seemed like a 20 minute nap. The harsh, wicked-evil sound of the alarm (personally, I think this is the most ANNOYING sound in the world) jolted me from one particularly interesting dream I was having. I was on a yacht with the 2 Evas (Longoria & Mendes). I’ll forgive you for thinking ‘Alordiah’. It was a boat cruise from Manchester to some exotic island, we were getting bored when we found weed on the boat then ‘someone’ suggested we have a threeso… Ha! Ugh! Damn mosquitoes… So the alarm spoilt the best part of my dream and all my attempts to go back for at least 30 minutes was useless. So I grudgingly peeled myself from between the sheets and stumbled in the direction of the bathroom. I fumbled as I searched for the light switch in the darkness and cursed as I walked head first into the open bathroom door. Getting set for work was a 30 minute cycle, done in auto-pilot without much thought and with time spent persistent on my mind. It’s a ‘Casual Friday’ like we call it at work, so my outfit is a pair of khaki chinos pants, a navy Polo shirt (tucked in as usual) and black high top converse sneakers. My ear plugs complete the look as I never go anywhere without them. The first rays of sunlight were slowly escaping from behind heavy clouds as I made my way to the bus stop. I really hope I get a bus out of ‘The Island’ before the bus stop gets filled with grim looking passengers eager to get to the next phase of their boring lives. I mutter to myself about how easy my life would be if I had a ride as I search for my favourite song ‘Stay – Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko’ on my mp3 … I can’t explain it but this song gets to me. The harmony, the lyric… The subtle beat that makes me both sad and happy all at once. Strange as it might sound, sadness helps me think clearly most times. “All along it was a fever… A cold sweat, hot-headed believer. I threw my hands in the air said “Show me something”. He said, “If you dare come a little closer” I heard the loud high pitched shrill of screeching tires as I tried to get my attention back to the scene unfolding in front of me. A Mercedes 911, thrown into a mad spin was heading my way as I stood confused and slow to respond. Clearly the driver had no control anymore as he pulled frantically at the steering wheel trying to steer the vehicle away from the path it was headed… Me! I could see fear & terror written all over his face as I was pretty sure my face had never looked more identical to any other like it did to his in that split second. Maybe if I wasn’t so engrossed in my music I might have spotted the vehicle earlier. Maybe I could have pulled one of those famous Tom Cruise moves from Mission Impossible but I’m no stud and my athletic basketball playing days are ancient history. All I could mutter was the one word, known across all races. One word with no particular meaning but used still to explain the severity of one’s current situation or feeling… “Bleep!” Excruciating pain soared through me as I heard my ribs and shoulder bone snap simultaneously and I was flung a good distance. Pain so great, the only way my body could respond was by going numb. My face is swollen so much that my eyes have to remain shut. The first stage of shock and confusion had kicked in. I wasn’t unconscious yet but I couldn’t move either. I lay with my chest facing the now bright clear sky, I try to look sideways but my body doesn’t respond. I feel muscles in my wrist and feet twitch but I couldn’t move my limbs either. I hear horns and the sounds of people gathering but I’m still forced to stare at the sky. The clouds look even further from my position as they race along like nothing here on earth bothers them, slowly forming shapes and then losing them. The religious sentimental in me half hoped a face would peek from behind those clouds and assure me everything would be fine. I wish I could laugh at that thought but I couldn't… “Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move… Makes me feel like I can’t live without you. It takes me all the way, I want you to stay” As I lay motionless on the hard concrete floor away from the side-walk, my brain switches to auto-pilot as it tries to deal with the trauma. I feel my thoughts wonder as I slip out of consciousness. I should have been paying attention to my surroundings, how could I have been so stupid? My mind drifts to my family as I envision my parents and their reaction to the news of my… I quickly banish that thought. Dear God, I don’t want to die. Not yet, please. Not here and definitely not like this… As I lay perfectly still like a mannequin broken and abandoned, I think about the last few years of my life and how I’d lived it. I think about my younger brother, Seyi… I should have been more of an older brother to him but I abandoned him to grow up alone. Being a loner shouldn’t have been an excuse for not getting to know him properly. I scolded him all the time, bully him when I could and make him feel like an outcast most times when the problem was me. Would he miss me when I die? Or it’s going to be ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’? I try to shake off that thought. I think about my sister Tosin… I let her go through school alone with no support. I barely even talk to her about her academics. I wasn’t there to console her and advise her during her first heartbreak. Instead I chastised her for having a boyfriend in the first place. I never remember her birthday or buy her anything. Would she miss me too? Or she’ll be indifferent to my absence. As I lay broken like many pieces of a fine china teacup, I think about my friends and colleagues at work. I try to do a mental list of those that would genuinely feel my absence. A list of those that would hurt for months if I died, people whose hearts would forever have a vacuum if they hear I was gone. I couldn’t think of any. Why can’t I answer these questions with any certainty? Am I really terrible? Maybe death wouldn’t be a bad idea after all. "… It’s not much of a life you’re living. It’s not just something you take, it’s given. Round and around and around and around we go. Ooooooh! Now tell me, now tell me, now tell me, now you know" As I lay still and abandoned like a corpse and the clouds move high above me like hungry vultures, I think about my ex-girlfriend Lauretta… *Sigh* I claimed to love her yet I hurt her at every chance I got. I was selfish, greedy and unappreciative; whatever she did was never good enough. She was my girlfriend yet I told her a lot of lies. I didn’t trust her enough to let her in. And when she decided to leave I didn’t try to stop her. It’s ironic I’m thinking about her now when her parting words were “I hate you and I curse the day I ever met you”. She’d probably hiss and spit at the news of my death. I feel tears trickle down my swollen eyelids as fear strokes my spine and tickles my feet. I can hear the slight thuds of footsteps approaching me now, and voices too. A male voice speaks in Yoruba, “Shey eleyi ti ku ni?” (Is this one dead?) “E je ka gbe kuro loju titi ki ambulance toh deh” (Lets carry him away from the road before the ambulance comes). Thank God, I thought. An ambulance has been called. I feel hope nudge me slightly. Another voice quickly urges, “E je ka rora gbe o. Iwo gbe owo e, ki emi gbe ese mejeji” (Let’s lift him carefully. You lift his hands, while I lift his two legs). They lift me slowly and place me gently on the side-walk; I could hear the wails of the ambulance siren as it approached. All was not lost, help is almost here. I try my best to fight the darkness I could feel trying to steal the little consciousness I had. The siren is louder now as the ambulance parks and doors are slammed shot. I hear a male voice shout at the crowd to move back. I hear a sound I assume is the clattering of the gurney’s wheels as it draws closer. A face suddenly blocks the racing clouds from my view. It could have been an angel for all I care. I feel hope spread and embrace my entire being. The paramedic lifts my right wrist and feels my pulse. He gives me a faint smile as he looks back at the crowd and signals for the gurney to be brought closer. “Make una comot. Let us do our work, pls”. I hear another voice to my left, as two new faces fill my line of vision. I’m exhausted now and can’t fight the darkness anymore. They lift me unto the gurney and push me to the ambulance. The first paramedic draws close to me and whispers, “You’ll be fine young man. We’ve got you”. I take a deep breath as I submit completely to the darkness… My last thoughts were of Blue Bunny Ice Cream and 01 Shawarma as I remembered I’d forgotten my wallet in my rush to get to work on time. “Ooooh the reason I hold on, Ooooh cause I need this hole gone, Funny all the broken ones but I’m the only one who needed saving, Cause when you never see the lights it’s hard to know which one of us is caving” Who I am doesn't matter at this point. What matters is that I now dwell in your sub-conscious. I am that part of you that would serve as a reminder that your days are numbered and your breaths borrowed… A reminder that your thoughts are governed and tailored by your beliefs and your actions should be a reflection of those beliefs. Make the most of your life today, because tomorrow is certain but not promised and the lives you touch today and the happiness you bring to others are your one true legacy… THE END 1 Like |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by purpinkx(m): 10:18pm On Jun 18, 2013 |
Hope you didn't break your head |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by darlynlara(f): 9:30am On Jun 19, 2013 |
Temi 2 say i love it is an understatement waow nyc piece sweedy its touching n gives a great mesage #thumbs up# |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by firestar(f): 10:01am On Jun 19, 2013 |
A nouveau blend on Nairaland and her name is Songfic. ![]() I love the fusion. Song fiction: Lyrics soundchecking fiction. ![]() |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by LarrySun(m): 10:17am On Jun 19, 2013 |
Impressive Writing; Simple And Direct Piece Of Prose. I Should Get That Rihanna. |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by An0nimus: 1:03pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
me likey ![]() |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by TemiBalrog: 5:30pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
I'm glad you all like it. Thanks |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by chistar01(m): 5:55pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
This is a really nice piece. Really short and precise. And the message is quite touching. Just like you I'm in love with 'stay' , the Rihanna song. I can't explain why but all i know is i love it. Dear mind, if you eventually come across this thread, please consider it for front page Nice work @ Op |
Re: As I Lay Dying… by Austeenxx: 7:42pm On Jul 25, 2013 |
Wonderful. ![]() |
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