Met this girl (Kalabari) when I was doing my NYSC in Port Harcourt in 2002. We had a relationship, and I everything was fine b4 I left PH and the whole thing died off. Now I am married with kids to a another kalabari woman I met in Lagos.

Last week this lady came to my house with my wife's senior sister (later found out she is my wife's cousin) that stays in PH. I recognised her and we were shock to see each other. I never new they are cousins and my fear is she might tell my wife, that we've dated before. Though she has gone back to PH, and my wife has not mentioned anything to me.

What should I do? Some of my friends said I should tell my wife before she does, but I am scared. My wife is the HOT HOT HOT type. She doesn't want to hear about my past relationships, and if the cousin spill the beans first , anything can happen.

Please advice me     

you berra tell her first

@poster
i think u're wise enough to do ur thing

I don't see what the problem is. It's not as though you dated the cousin while you were married to you wife. It's in the past, you have no more feelings for the cousin and you're quite happy with your current situation.

If you wish, tell you wife about it. If not, don't. Her cousin might or might not tell her. It's not as if it were any of her concern, after all.

So, let me get this straight:

You dated your wife's cousin in the past.
Up untill recently, you were not aware she and your wifer are cousins.
You no longer have any romantic attachment to your wife's cousin.

As far as I can gather from the above, you've done nothing wrong.
I'm sure your wife too has a past.

But, I'd tell your wife now, and stress it was in the past, and you were unaware they are cousins.

" "

ohhh lawdy ! you must suffer from kalabariosis


for real though u need to tell her ASAP

whether she is hot or not

ain't you the man in this relationship?

Siena:


I'm sure your wife too has a past.

But, I'd tell your wife now, and stress it was in the past, and you were unaware they are cousins.

gbam!

Bros abeg define HOT HOT HOT - will she pour hot palm oil on your head or what?

You better tell her now before she wakes you up with a dirty slap

From what you said, you have done absolutetly nothing wrong

Tell her Now!!! or else if she finds out herself she will be HOT HOTTER HOTTEST!!!

My dear pray to God for him to cool your wife's temper down make her to understand i see nothing wrong with that after all you dated her cousin way back.All the best.

bababuff,
I read through your post over and over again to see the
wrong thing you did, but didn't see it or didn't it appear on my
system?

Would you have asked all the girls you dated in the past if they are
your future wife's cousin?

I would advice you tell your wife now before times passes more ok?
Its better she becomes HOT HOT HOT now and before long it will cool
instead of posponing the dooms day.
If she's mature enough, she would know you don't have to ask girls
you dated before marrying her if she was her cousin.

Unless you lied to her that you never had a relationship before you married her!
Maybe that is the basis of your fear if not nothing to worry about.

@bababuff:
Is there something that you're not telling us about either your relationship with your wife or your past relationship with her cousin? I don't wish to seem to be "pointing fingers," but your worry about your wife's (over)reation and a past, youthful fling seem to be adding up to more than they might be thought to.

All these people who are afraid of their wives na wa.
Tell your wife now, the offence will be she hearing it from her cousin first.

Its in the past, she shld be able to laugh over it anf move on.

Ur wife.

U are legally married. Choose one-

Since u didnt tell her b4 marriage bone it. Unless ur cousin is childish then u should try tell her first.


Past na past. Future na present.

Bad past. Memoriessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

you could tell her , as long as you are sure it happened way back before you married your wife, its all in the past and if she's matured and truly wants to keep her home , then she will understand, simple. no matter how Hottttttttttt, she is , best of luck!

Baby I dated her __________________ end of story

"Hon, I slept with your cuzin a while back. But I fell in love with you. Now you can yab me all you want"

How do you tell her? Say it in english, she might not understand Spanish or Greek ooh

Your only worry is to avoid her cousin as soon as you have told her. She will always worry about leaving you two alone.

as long as it wasn't like u cheated on her then,i dont see anything wrong in tellin her now, but u'l know she'l b mad dat u kept it away 4 so long , and u can kiss u and her cousin's friendship goodbye, cos she\s never b comfortbale wit both of u again, d ball's in ur court, I say TELL HER b4 she finds out from d streets, it'l b worse my dear

You don't have a problem. Just tell her. She can't squeeze water out of a stone but the fact remains that IT IS UR PAST. It was while she showed up in your house that she was introduced as her cousin PERIOD!!!!!!

Well, like other people said tell her. she has a past as well, except u married her as a virgin. but if u think ur wife might dwell on it then forget about it.

so what if her cousin tells her? left to me i wont even tell. what happens in the past stays in the past.

When she met you you were not a virgin so she knows you have done it before.
Unless you knew your wife throu her cousin otherwise i see no wrong is what you did.
If your wife is hot just keep iceblock/water around when you are ready to spill or call fire service
incase the hotness turns to blue flame.

Did u meet your wife a virgin? If u did , it is understandable and if not which I feel u did not.
Do u know how many men has slept her too before marriage? Man wake up, tell her straight. She'll understand. Sorry for going this far but it is the truth. Or did u sleep with ur wife's cousin again?

my broder nuthing dey oh. Obviously ur wife diddnt think u wer a virgin wen u met her so she cant say she didnt expect u 2 have past "luvs". so wat if its her cousin? these things happen. ure downfALL WILL BE TO HIDE IT FROM HER and shell find out thru corner corner. then she will ask u why u hid. this will bring up accusations that you still have feelings for her cousin. if u tell her it will be like 'oh back then so what.' but if u hide it shell think theres more to the story.

THERES NO NEED TO HIDE. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL AND URE WIFE SHOULDNT GET VEXED WITH IT. afterall what if it had been her that u dated before and then married her cozin was it her fault? no! so tell her. dont act like u have to make it up to her or u have wronged her SINCE SHES SHORT TEMPERED AND SHELL JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF URE GUILT AT THE TIME.

actually i dnt think this was worth cuming to nairaland its that simple. gud luck!!