The wind ran its fingers through my curly black hair as I turned up the radio. “That’s my favorite song,” I said as I smiled and looked over at him. He winked, then smiled, showing perfect white teeth. It had been a long time and we both wanted to enjoy the moment while we had it. The sun was setting and day had come to an end. Our only focus was to make most of the moment.

“Let me ask you a question,” he said, looking over his shoulder so he could change lanes.
“Go for it.”
“What made you come back?”
I looked down at my nails peeling the purple nail polish that I’d had on for days.
“I’m just asking,” he went on, “because I thought I lost you.”
“You did.” I looked at him and then back down at my nails. “But sometimes love makes you do the stupidest things.”
He smiled that smile that made my heart melt every time. He held the steering wheel with one hand while he used the other to reach for mine. He squeezed it and I squeezed his back. That was our way of saying, “I see you.”

Five minutes later we reached the exit that would take us to the hotel. Everything in me was telling me this was what I wanted. We walked to the lobby got our keys, and then went upstairs to the room. It was simple and small. A bathroom to the left, right when you walked in, one bed, a desk, a chair and a small dresser with a TV on top of it. I kicked my shoes off and turned on the TV as he went to the bathroom. Looking around the room my mind went back to the many nights we had spent together, at my place, his place, in hotel rooms, everywhere. He came out of the bathroom and sat next to me wrapping his arms around me, his breath hot against my ear.
“Babe…” I said.
“Mmm hmm.”
“Who am I to you?”
He took in a deep breath and stretched himself out on the bed. “You’re you.”
I turned around and looked at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you are who you are.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” The bulb in the lamp by the desk started to flicker. “I want to know who I am to you. What do you want from me? What do you expect of me?”
“Look if all you’re concerned about are titles then you’re my girl.”
“Girl or mistress?”
He rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.
“Have I ever called you my mistress before?”
“Well you won’t call me anything else so I need to know what I am in you’re life. You can’t try to hold on to me after you got married and not make it clear to me what you want from me.”
He got up resting his weight on his elbows.
“I want you.”
“And her?”
“She’s the mother of my kids I can’t leave her. I thought we went through that.”
“Then who am I?”
He took my arm and pulled me into him and I knew it was time to shut up because I had lost. “She is the woman I got pregnant and married, you’re the woman I love.”

Drawing me closer he planted a kiss on my lips. My eyes were still open because I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I let him back into my life. I didn’t know what I was looking for. But here we were together, alone, in this hotel room. Him planting sweet kisses all over my body, as my moaning faded into the background. He undressed me, examined my body thoroughly as if to take in all that he had missed over the past year. I dripped for him that night as he dived in and we made love under the moonlight. We were one like before. It wasn’t just sex, but something deeper. Something I had never felt before. He never once took his eyes away from mine. I tried to read him, as if having him inside me would make me understand him more. How could he love me and her at the same time? I wanted to stop thinking, to just enjoy the moment that would eventually come to an end. Then finally he was coming and I pulled him deeper in me scratching his back wet with sweat. Then he came. He came. In me. With me. We came.

He collapsed onto his back with me falling on top of him. Laying my head on his chest I threw my arm and leg around him, wrapping it against his body. Panting and trying to catch his breath, he played with my beads. I listened to his heart beat aggressively against his chest. The next thing I knew he was asleep. I tried to sleep too but I couldn’t because I knew that it was about to be over.

Later we drove back to Maryland with him holding the steering wheel with one hand and his other interlaced in mine. I thought about what I was to him. The title I had or didn’t have, and how he was going to go back home to his wife and kids as if nothing had happened. Girl, mistress, lover, companion. Who was I to him? At that moment I stopped wondering, and allowed myself to feel the air conditioning blowing in my face. His hand was in mine and at that moment I had him. She took him from me when they got married, but right then and there I knew I still had his heart. Yes, I still didn’t know what to call myself. But it was okay because I had been called lots of things.

Nice

Mynd_44: Nice

Thanks

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it's okay??....smh i dont think so

alicia cutie: it's okay??....smh i dont think so

No it's not okay, but that's her mentality