I know you have tried making this relationship work. I know you have compromised a lot just to hold it together. I know it’s been some months now that everything has changed and you still can’t imagine this happening: not to you. I know how bad you feel; you wish this would not happen; you wish it could be as beautiful as it was from the start. I know your friends think you two are having the best of time; hmm, I wish they knew! It never started this way: he was everything you ever wished for in a man, yeah I know: she was the kind of lady mama won’t say no to. Friend, I feel your pain, but I won’t sympathize with you. Too many times we give up on our relationships when there are valid options untouched. We quickly assume meeting new people is a potent way of discarding the old folks. The point is: getting into a new relationship is a true evidence of you wasting a good part of your life and months with the wrong person. It's also good you know that it's more difficult to build a new relationship than saving an existing one if all options are still valid. Most times in a dying relationship, whoever wants to take-a-bow is the same person to save the relationship. At the point of displeasure, anger or regular misunderstanding, there will always be a million-plus-one reason to leave our partners. But from experience, sensitive decisions should NOT be taken in such moods: they aren't always the best. I'm aware that you have made moves to keep that relationship alive yet it looks like you are burning the oceans. Now, it's time you rest your mind and let’s have a discussion on what you should do.

LOWER THE BAR
Every man or woman in a relationship sure has a standard even before getting into it. It could be the nature of his job or what should be her highest educational certificate or his marital status or even her physical attributes; height, shape, size etc. Maybe you still don't understand, I’m actually making references to what you want and who you want as a partner. Despite that, there are some people we grow in love with; those people we never gave a chance but sure make a wonderful partner. In all honesty, you can NOT have all you desire in your partner. If you've heard ladies say - I've got the best man in the world! Or men say - my wife is awesome! It's not like the man or woman has no fault, those words are just making imperfect people perfect. You just can't have all your desires, there will always be a minus somewhere, and if it’s not a critical part of your relationship: something related to domestic violence and whatnot, you should lower the bar.

Oh, she snores and every night you're restless. Oh, he comes home late, Oh she doesn't call, whatever the minus of your partner that has so caught your attention and in-return, influencing your decisions or reaction toward him/her, it's time you save your dying relationship by managing it or ignoring it if possible. It doesn't make you a fool; it only activates your partner’s conscience to a point of unrest.

EXPECT LESS
Nagging is always the end-point of this. She goes to work just as you do, you came back expecting your food to be hot and ready, but she just started cooking, young man, expect less! He just got his salary and there are 1001 home needs demanding attention, young woman, expect less! Get this clear, any relationship with too many expectations from both partners will get boring. Maybe, you're in the kitchen doing the cleaning and cooking and you think he should come over and help with the dishes, but there he is, glued to the TV set . . . LOL. It could be tiring but expect less! In a relationship where expectations are not met, it could be better communicated but NOT emphasized upon, hence, it would be seen as a subject to discuss at every time – now, that’s trouble!

GIVE YOUR PARTNER A SPACE
Yeah, sometimes we need to allow our partners go clubbing with friends. You don't have to be around him except he insists. Sometimes, allow her hang out with her friends too. Seeing you both hanging around each other all the time sometimes isn't attraction but being clueless of a better romantic way to get at it. To save a dying relationship, once-a-while, you both could practice ‘married-but-doing-single’ if you trust each other so well.

TRY SOMETHING NEW
Let me be blunt here! A dying relationship sure has a boring routine. It could be a change of vacation spot, eatery, wears, hair-do, weekend plans and lots more. These things come with a good measure of freshness. It might be the same thing you do but a different location, a different way, or you could make a complete change just to try something entirely different. Be aware that regular things could be boring and if I know that what I’m going to be seeing on your hair; as your hair-do, every weekend is the same style, now that's boredom! Discuss with your spouse/partner, try out varieties; something not usual and that could be what your relationship needs to survive.

DO THINGS TOGETHER
There are certain things that should NOT be altered and be observed as regular as possible. Like:

* Dinner together
* Bathing together
* Watching a movie together
* In the kitchen together (remember that's a supposed women's territory, it's romantic to see a man there)
* Go in the same car while she drives, and let her drop you off.

In a relationship, there are some mistakes you can't just explain, read 14 regular mistakes singles make, hence, the relationship begins to lose value. As important as the above-listed are, they could be easily ignored. No doubt, they are powerful, powerful enough to save any dying relationship. Please reflect on them, make the right adjustment and watch your relationship survive. Watch it grow stronger than the first day you-both met. Hence, you got me to thank later. LOL. Happy Living!

http://www.coachdexplorer.com/2013/06/how-to-save-dying-relationship.html

D-Explorer:

Am completely in sync with your position man!! the above listed are points to be noted.

Awwwww the first time I am reading do"s and don't"s of a relationship on Nairaland and it actually makes so much sense to me. Nice work D-explorer

Though i am happily in love at the moment, but i"ll bookmark this page just incase the low moments set in someday and..........

D-ex,wen r we gonna save ours?

@DX. Stop telling them my secrets

Bath with your partner even though you dey stay for face-me-I-face-you apartment

I wasn't gonna read dt but from the comments, lemme try!

nice write-up..thanks for sharing...

bath or shower together yepeeeeee

Where was dis post 2 months ago when I needed it...... Mtchew.. Rubbish

I once tried some things similar to what the Op listed to save a relationship but it didn't work. I quited the relationship when the other person didn't change.
Last Bullet: A relationship that's bound to break ll surely break at last.

crazygod: Where was dis post 2 months ago when I needed it...... Mtchew.. Rubbish

U need not wait for anyone to teach u how to handle/save ur relationship if u really want it badly.

d best way is to let it die cos a dying relationship has lost its value datz y it is dying....but if u allow it lay dead for like 2mnths it wil come bak..just hope say she no go don carry belle for anoda guy sha...hehehehe WAIT O O WAT DA 4K AM I SAYNG SEF

All these for love?

Okiki_Oluwa:
Last Bullet: A relationship that's bound to break ll surely break at last.

My thought exactly.

Wow I so much love this,interesting.

No dying relationship needs saving. let it die nd move on shikena!!

Looking for how to save a dying relationship = = = Pursuit of life time unhapiness.

sometimes a relationship is not worth saving because it was not built on a solid foundation....probably built on lust in the first instance....so that when the Kuncha quenches, their really is nothing left to lean on.

A relationship should first be built on very solid boy girl communication...so that both of you can be talking about a stupid topic like a piece of white paper for hours and enjoying the discussion for hours.

IF he or she is not that person...like a Yoruba man said to me once...them my brother....find your LCM...the relations is not worth it.

MONEY...SXXX....FOOD...follow in that particular other.

crazygod: Where was dis post 2 months ago when I needed it...... Mtchew.. Rubbish

Is it too late?

Op seem english is ur problem
u said dying relationship not dying or failing marriage as the case may be..

noted

And what happens after all this, and still no change?

Nice write-up.
Well Noted.

I love the part that talks about expecting less. Nice write up.

am very much happy to read this post. Wat a gud day for Me.

Nice writeup

Had i known this. It would have helped..

Nice article.
Thanks for sharing.

Nice write-up.kudos to you.

Nice one.

@Op well done!!! This article is nicely written....