angrywife:
Help me ask this number to stop sending naked pics to my hubby....she sends them tru whatsapp her name saved on his phone is manny....thanks

Why is your husband not telling her himself?

angrywife:
Help me ask this number to stop sending naked pics to my hubby....she sends them tru whatsapp her name saved on his phone is manny....thanks

Why don't you have a talk with your husband about this?

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@Yezzir:

Hey there,

Most important thing is identifying the problem and now that you admit that there's something wrong somewhere, then you can as well admit that the problem is half solved.

Now how about give the house. Little "fill-in" of what's wrong? Is it family troubles, academics, finances, unemployment, relationship or marriage?

I think we'll have a better understanding of how to go about tackling your issues if we know where and what exactly is wrong.

You know the funny part?.... The solution might be just as simple as anything, bro. Cheers.

tacbaugh:
@Yezzir:

Hey there,

Most important thing is identifying the problem and now that you admit that there's something wrong somewhere, then you can as well admit that the problem is half solved.

Now how about give the house. Little "fill-in" of what's wrong? Is it family troubles, academics, finances, unemployment, relationship or marriage?

I think we'll have a better understanding of how to go about tackling your issues if we know where and what exactly is wrong.

You know the funny part?.... The solution might be just as simple as anything, bro. Cheers.

I have ruined my reputation by being too weak to reject someone who was behaving inappropriately towards me and now I don't know what to do. I feel like it will haunt me all my life

Yezzir:

If you believe in God,the first step is to ask Him for forgiveness and repent of your indiscretion.
You need to also forgive yourself.Next thing is take practical actions to move forward from where you are.Are you in a position to meet with the person involved?Then you need to move away from the person.It might mean you need to move from your present location(after you must have communicated to the person that it is over).
Start a new life and you have the best ahead of you.

It was over a long time ago so I don't need to say anything. I'm just disappointed in myself I didn't think this would be a problem for me but I was stressed at the time which made me make bad decisions. The gossip surrounding it was really too much

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Gossip like?


Talking about things does help in relieving the stress most times and the forum is anonymous enough to cover privacy concerns.

@onegig I dont know what was said exactly but a lot of people stopped associating with me because of it so I know there was something. I know I should just forget it and take it as a lesson but it's really very painful

People would always talk about you. That's life. Except you did something terribly wrong and your conscience pricks you I don't expect you to be too concerned about what people say about your past misdeeds.

You sound like a lady. Am I right?

You made a mistake. Learn from it and try and take proactive steps to not make such but from the way you even sound. You are more concerned about what people say or their perception of you than the misdeeds you said you committed. This "mistake or whatever you did" MAY not even be a mistake. Just you looking at yourself from other people's eyes and reaching a judgement from such.

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You didn't commit it but it seems like you did to the outside world and you feel bad about the thought people have.


I understand being sensitive to such issues but last thing you should occupy yourself is with idle talk. You have your life to live and need to just turn a deaf ear to what people say. As regards affecting your family in future. I don't understand. How?

Maybe you open up about what happened to people around young At least they have the facts and not the heresays.

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It's not that simple but you just have to try harder.

But wait....What is so bad that you have to feel so depressed about the thought of a crime you didn't commit?

Also, you are limiting yourself by not going for what you want. Even armed robbers and worse people who have turned positive go on to live their lives example Shina Rambo who is now a man of God and so many like that let alone you that I "presume" hasn't done anything worse.

If I may ask, How big and bad is this crime?

Yezzir:


I have ruined my reputation by being too weak to reject someone who was behaving inappropriately towards me and now I don't know what to do. I feel like it will haunt me all my life

Maybe if you explain this in more detail, people will be able to advise you on what to do
Clearly whatever it is seems to have a great impact on you and this needs to be addressed and put to bed, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life
Whatever you did cannot be the worst that anyone has ever done
So you may actually be too hard on yourself
One thing I know is that todays news always becomes stale tommorow and everyone moves on.
I am sure that the people gossiping are alredy gossiping about someone else.

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tearoses:


Maybe if you explain this in more detail, people will be able to advise you on what to do
Clearly whatever it is seems to have a great impact on you and this needs to be addressed and put to bed, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life
Whatever you did cannot be the worst that anyone has ever done
So you may actually be too hard on yourself
One thing I know is that todays news always becomes stale tommorow and everyone moves on.
I am sure that the people gossiping are alredy gossiping about someone else.

You may be right but I wouldnt expose myself more than I have already. Talking about it with strangers is even too much for me but I really don't know where else to turn. Maybe one day I'll look back on it and smile but for now I just need strength to face the next day

Anyway thanks for your words, you're probably right about the gossiping

Ok. I seem to get the idea of what the "crime" is.

From the little talk we have had here what I have deduced is that you aren't true to yourself.

First you are in self denial that something bad didn't happen, you are just concerned of what people think and the backlash.

The second is related to the first. You aren't taking responsibility for your bad decisions. Yes, you had something inappropriate with someone who probably was an authority and we could all blame the person for using your naivety against you but you have to at least take responsibility for whatever happened. It takes two to tango and you lacked the will to back down at that point except maybe you were a minor when it happened. Passing the buck would only make it worse with time. You maybe blaming yourself now, but the way words are written and constructed actually carries alot more detail about what the thoughts behind the writings are. From what I can infer from your words. You are sorry because this came out and has a chance of negatively affecting your future.

Taking responsibility is not actually blaming oneself, it's about looking at things with a clear view and accepting ones inadequacies. No one is infallible. Once you understand that, you should take it from there.

Third, forget what people say as regards what you did in the past affecting your future. Your past can only shape your future if you don't take charge and navigate it towards the positive direction you always wanted. Yeah, Karma is real but karma can always be averted by taking the right steps in seeking forgiveness and trying to erase such past misdeeds with good ones. However, forgiveness comes on the backdrop of honesty and true remorse. You are more concerned about the idea that people know of the crime you committed than you commiting it. Guess you wont flinch an inch if the news as regards what you did wasnt leaked.

Lastly no matter what ills you have committed in the past, you would need to open up in future to whomever you get tangled with at a point. If that person truly loves you they wouldn't look at your past misdeeds but at what steps you have taken to correct such and if you are truly a changed person. We all have made mistakes in the past and no one is without sin. Coming clean to them personally is a big deal and is better than allowing them learn of the truth or half truths from outside sources. I believe you should stop worrying your head about what's in the past and start living in the present. Take it step by step.

Not judging you but sometimes issues like this need the facts and not a pity party and it's an anonymous forum madam.

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Yezzir:

Whatever it is,you won't be the first person to have the experience.it has happened and you just have to move on with your life.
Would you like to talk offline?

I understand you but also I believe this "panicking" is uncalled for. Question is, even if someone is harboring such misinformation to tarnish your image, Is their version and perception of what transpired true?

If the answer is no. Why bother about such info? Also, precautions like always being upfront to anyone you date or intend to marry about what happened in the past can mitigate against such occurrence. If such info leaks in future they already know you covered that ground and would not flick an eyelid.

thorpido:
Whatever it is,you won't be the first person to have the experience.it has happened and you just have to move on with your life.
Would you like to talk offline?

Yea thats true. What do you mean by offline? Im relatively new to the forum.

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Yezzir:


Yea thats true. What do you mean by offline? Im relatively new to the forum.

On phone or via email.

thorpido:
On phone or via email.

ok i sent you a request

Yezzir:


You may be right but I wouldnt expose myself more than I have already. Talking about it with strangers is even too much for me but I really don't know where else to turn. Maybe one day I'll look back on it and smile but for now I just need strength to face the next day

Anyway thanks for your words, you're probably right about the gossiping

whatever it is that happened I hope you will come to peace with it one day and finally move on.
One thing you need to know about life is that people will always talk good or bad and you need to stop feeling the need of looking good in everyone else's face. We all make mistakes, learn from them and move on.
Everyone has problems and everyone makes mistakes, never let gossip or judgemental people take away your happiness and peace of mind.

I can tell that I always have people who try and rub my past mistakes in my face and all I do is tell myself that they probably hope it will make them feel better about themselves by being mean to me. They gain nothing and I lose nothing, so its best ignored.

Accept that you made a mistake, learn something from it and continue to seek what will make you happy. There is no point in crying over spilt milk, just move on with life and make wiser decisions in the future. Let those who have nothing to do continue to live in your past and the mistakes you have made before, but never let them drag you down that road.

Your past remains what it is and its best to leave it behind you and be happy.

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Yezzir:


Thanks a lot, I appreciate your message. I think I know these things but sometimes just need someone to say it to me.

So many people have "said" it to you on this thread...

I think you should write them on a big paper, paste it in your room and be reminding yourself of it every morning.

You don't live by the expectations and opinions of others. It is the fastest way to die before one's final death.

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Any body that feel suicidal at the age less than 50yrs is a coward, he/she want to runaway from responsibility and challenges of this life... Life is full of ups and down, Please no feelings is worth suicide, change your current state to another, report yourself to NGO stay positive fellows.