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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships (24128 Views)
Mistakes Nigerian Men Make In Bed That Irritate Women / Reasons Why Ladies Like Sex But Pretend They Hate It In Relationships / Reasons Why Many Guys Insist On Getting Into Ladies' Pants In Relationships (2) (3) (4)
Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 2:49am On Jul 08, 2013 |
1) INFATUATION - this is really the biggest problem. When you 'fall' in love, usually you are completely off balance, only seeing what you want to and putting so much pressure on the relationship too early. It's necessary to take a step back and regain your equilibrium. You need to think of the not so good side of that person as well as the great stuff. Balance! 2) EXPECTATIONS - often they are way too high and unrealistic in the beginning. You fell in love with a human being with all their 'faults' and good points, not a superbeing. 3) YOUR NEEDS - you realise that they don't actually meet your every need. So you feel disappointed and try to change them. Get real, no one person is ever going to meet your every need, it's not realistic. You may have to look elsewhere for your needs, e.g. friends who have a great sense of humour or share your love for doing your favourite hobby, etc. 4) APPRECIATION - your so busy demanding either inside your mind or out loud to your partner about what's not right or what they aren't doing, that they feel unappreciated. They'll be thinking why can't you just love me for who I am (and so will you) if the shoe is on the other foot! 5) SPACE - you don't allow them to have their own space and they begin to resent you. Again, so would you if they didn't allow you to have your own space. 6) PROJECTIONS - oh yes, this is a big one. People often project their family history on to their partners e.g. they lacked approval or recognition as a child from their parents and now they are always striving to get that from their partner or friends. Stop it! Take responsibility for your life, you can change, you don't have to drag your old history around with you and keep re-living it. 7) COMMUNICATION - you must speak your truth in an appropriate manner. Many people will either just sit and seethe about something for days or weeks or have an immediate argument if things aren't going 'right'. A really excellent book I believe everyone should read, but especially couples, is Non Violent Communication This is about owning your own feelings but commenting on the behaviour of another that upsets you, e.g. "It makes me mad when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor and I pick them up, do you think you could do x in the future please." What you are actually doing is saying how their behaviour makes you feel and owning it (your feelings) and then asking for a solution to the behaviour, therefore not slagging them, just commenting on their behaviour. 8 ) MEN ARE FROM MARS... - let's face it men and women are 'wired' differently and that's all there is to it! Men (generally) can't multi task. Blame it on their corpus collosum, it's very small! So don't ask him to put petrol in the car tomorrow morning when he's washing the dishes, because chances are, he probably won't hear it, even if he answers you it most probably wouldn't have gone in! 9) VALUES - probably one of the most important aspect of relationships. If your top 3 Values and core beliefs do not coincide with your partner's to some extent, you are not off to a great start. All Core Values and Beliefs drive our behaviour. 10) MINIMISE - if you minimise yourself to fit in with them, then you will never live your authentic life and will feel unfulfilled inside and frustrated. You must have a very strong sense of self and live by your Values. Equally, you don't want a partner who becomes like a little pet poodle, just pandering to you and not vocalising his/her needs and desires. http://www.coachinginspirit.com/coaching-tips/10-mistakes-people-make-in-relationships 6 Likes |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Mynd44: 5:29am On Jul 08, 2013 |
When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link. All is well with the universe again 4 Likes |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 5:43am On Jul 08, 2013 |
lol i'm on a serious phase now ![]() i'm done with the crap ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 7:39am On Jul 08, 2013 |
Mynd_44: When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link.lol, what was wrong with the universe before? |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Mynd44: 7:49am On Jul 08, 2013 |
idnoble135:The OP writing that? Hell no |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 8:07am On Jul 08, 2013 |
Mynd_44:she could really be that creative. |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Mynd44: 8:11am On Jul 08, 2013 |
idnoble135:Yeah right |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by k2039: 8:45am On Jul 08, 2013 |
This should make frontpage, the post made utmost sense. |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Tolexander: 8:52am On Jul 08, 2013 |
This is not nigerian at all. The summary of the mistakes nigerians make in a relationship is the guy refusing to spend big cash and the lady refusing to open legs! 2 Likes |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 9:52am On Jul 08, 2013 |
Mynd_44: |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 12:22pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Mynd_44: When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link. Same here. After reading the first two points, i had to scroll down to check for a link. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 12:22pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Tolexander: This is not nigerian at all. Are you implying that nigerian ladies are prostitutes?? Surely, Nigerian relationships are not wholly based on monetary value. Is this not the case? |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 12:24pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
aniiii: Which church did you attend yesterday? I be like say a miracle don happen in your life. ![]() ![]() Or can you explain why you're making sense today to me ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 12:25pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
alutacontinua: Okay thanks That is nice of you ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 12:31pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
![]() Please contribute to the topic or derail no more.. Thanks ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Tolexander: 12:45pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
aniiii:anii! Most Nigerian ladies are prostitutes while most nigerian guys are cassanovas |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 1:00pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Tolexander: anii! Most Nigerian ladies are prostitutes while most nigerian guys are cassanovasl ![]() Dangerous views!! but it's your opinion ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Tolexander: 1:51pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
aniiii: lanii! It's what you and i know, only that you are trying to shy away from the reality. |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 2:18pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Tolexander: anii! It's what you and i know, only that you are trying to shy away from the reality. I am not conversant with the workings of Nigerian relationships. I just think relationship blues are universal, hence the idea of this thread. Thanks for your input by the way. ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Nobody: 2:53pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Who made you an authority over this? |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by DollyParton1(f): 3:00pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
![]() I like how everyone ignored the post and focused on the poster.. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Emmy157: 3:09pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
![]() |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by nekaa(f): 3:13pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
I wanted to jus note it down like the rest buh my book done finish. So I don hear. |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by 190: 3:18pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Tolexander: This is not nigerian at all. May your days be long on earth May God give you Long life and prosperity for saying nothing but the gaddem truth - I wonder wen ppl wud stop deceiving themslvs on NL 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by bknight: 3:22pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Op write on common mistakes guys make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 3:24pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Let us not pretend like these things do not affect our relationships. Humans are prone to relationship related mistakes. However, amendments are required for healthy relationships. |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by 190: 3:25pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
bknight: Write on common mistakes guy make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you Rotfl!! @ olosho Wtf is olosho My cuz kips saying dat - ent got a clue wat it means and he won't say either Plz wahz olosho |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by aniiii(f): 3:32pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
190: Arguing that all Nigerian relationships are based wholly on the lady receiving MONEY and the men wanting SEX is highly flawed. You have to remember that some relationships lead to MARRIAGE. So you cannot place all Nigerian relationships in one bucket. However, one can strongly argue that most relationships are susceptible to the points mentioned above. 1 Like |
Re: Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships by Dyt(f): 3:33pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
bknight: Op write on common mistakes guy make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you My dear My love U didn't miss me *sobs* |
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