1) INFATUATION - this is really the biggest problem. When you 'fall' in love, usually you are completely off balance, only seeing what you want to and putting so much pressure on the relationship too early. It's necessary to take a step back and regain your equilibrium. You need to think of the not so good side of that person as well as the great stuff. Balance!


2) EXPECTATIONS - often they are way too high and unrealistic in the beginning. You fell in love with a human being with all their 'faults' and good points, not a superbeing.


3) YOUR NEEDS - you realise that they don't actually meet your every need. So you feel disappointed and try to change them. Get real, no one person is ever going to meet your every need, it's not realistic. You may have to look elsewhere for your needs, e.g. friends who have a great sense of humour or share your love for doing your favourite hobby, etc.


4) APPRECIATION - your so busy demanding either inside your mind or out loud to your partner about what's not right or what they aren't doing, that they feel unappreciated. They'll be thinking why can't you just love me for who I am (and so will you) if the shoe is on the other foot!


5) SPACE - you don't allow them to have their own space and they begin to resent you. Again, so would you if they didn't allow you to have your own space.


6) PROJECTIONS - oh yes, this is a big one. People often project their family history on to their partners e.g. they lacked approval or recognition as a child from their parents and now they are always striving to get that from their partner or friends. Stop it! Take responsibility for your life, you can change, you don't have to drag your old history around with you and keep re-living it.


7) COMMUNICATION - you must speak your truth in an appropriate manner. Many people will either just sit and seethe about something for days or weeks or have an immediate argument if things aren't going 'right'. A really excellent book I believe everyone should read, but especially couples, is Non Violent Communication This is about owning your own feelings but commenting on the behaviour of another that upsets you, e.g. "It makes me mad when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor and I pick them up, do you think you could do x in the future please." What you are actually doing is saying how their behaviour makes you feel and owning it (your feelings) and then asking for a solution to the behaviour, therefore not slagging them, just commenting on their behaviour.


8 ) MEN ARE FROM MARS... - let's face it men and women are 'wired' differently and that's all there is to it! Men (generally) can't multi task. Blame it on their corpus collosum, it's very small! So don't ask him to put petrol in the car tomorrow morning when he's washing the dishes, because chances are, he probably won't hear it, even if he answers you it most probably wouldn't have gone in!


9) VALUES - probably one of the most important aspect of relationships. If your top 3 Values and core beliefs do not coincide with your partner's to some extent, you are not off to a great start. All Core Values and Beliefs drive our behaviour.


10) MINIMISE - if you minimise yourself to fit in with them, then you will never live your authentic life and will feel unfulfilled inside and frustrated. You must have a very strong sense of self and live by your Values. Equally, you don't want a partner who becomes like a little pet poodle, just pandering to you and not vocalising his/her needs and desires.


http://www.coachinginspirit.com/coaching-tips/10-mistakes-people-make-in-relationships

When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link.

All is well with the universe again

lol

i'm on a serious phase now

i'm done with the crap

Mynd_44: When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link.

All is well with the universe again

lol, what was wrong with the universe before?

idnoble135:
lol, what was wrong with the universe before?

The OP writing that? Hell no

Mynd_44:
The OP writing that? Hell no

she could really be that creative.

idnoble135:
she could really be that creative.

Yeah right

This should make frontpage, the post made utmost sense.

This is not nigerian at all.

The summary of the mistakes nigerians make in a relationship is the guy refusing to spend big cash and the lady refusing to open legs!

Mynd_44: When I saw the OP wanting to give advice, I knew something was amiss but then I saw the link.

All is well with the universe again

Same here.
After reading the first two points, i had to scroll down to check for a link.

Tolexander: This is not nigerian at all.

The summary of the mistakes nigerians make in a relationship is the guy refusing to spend big cash and the lady refusing to open legs!

Are you implying that nigerian ladies are prostitutes??


Surely, Nigerian relationships are not wholly based on monetary value.

Is this not the case?

aniiii:

Are you implying that nigerian ladies are prostitutes??


Surely, Nigerian relationships are not wholly based on monetary value.

Is this not the case?

Which church did you attend yesterday?
I be like say a miracle don happen in your life.
Or can you explain why you're making sense today to me

alutacontinua:

Same here.
After reading the first two points, i had to scroll down to check for a link.

Okay thanks

That is nice of you

I am done with the erotic creativity

Please contribute to the topic or derail no more..

Thanks

aniiii:

Are you implying that nigerian ladies are prostitutes??


Surely, Nigerian relationships are not wholly based on monetary value.

Is this not the case?

anii! Most Nigerian ladies are prostitutes while most nigerian guys are cassanovas

Tolexander: anii! Most Nigerian ladies are prostitutes while most nigerian guys are cassanovas

l



Dangerous views!! but it's your opinion

aniiii: l



Dangerous views!! but it's your opinion

anii! It's what you and i know, only that you are trying to shy away from the reality.

Tolexander: anii! It's what you and i know, only that you are trying to shy away from the reality.

I am not conversant with the workings of Nigerian relationships.

I just think relationship blues are universal, hence the idea of this thread.

Thanks for your input by the way.

Who made you an authority over this?

.lol...
I like how everyone ignored the post and focused on the poster..

.. I hate copy&paste!

I wanted to jus note it down like the rest buh my book done finish. So I don hear.

Tolexander: This is not nigerian at all.

The summary of the mistakes nigerians make in a relationship is the guy refusing to spend big cash and the lady refusing to open legs!

May your days be long on earth

May God give you Long life and prosperity for saying nothing but the gaddem truth -

I wonder wen ppl wud stop deceiving themslvs on NL

Op write on common mistakes guys make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you

Let us not pretend like these things do not affect our relationships.

Humans are prone to relationship related mistakes.

However, amendments are required for healthy relationships.

bknight: Write on common mistakes guy make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you

Rotfl!! @ olosho

Wtf is olosho

My cuz kips saying dat - ent got a clue wat it means and he won't say either

Plz wahz olosho

190:


May your days be long on earth

May God give you Long life and prosperity for saying nothing but the gaddem truth -

I wonder wen ppl wud stop deceiving themslvs on NL

Arguing that all Nigerian relationships are based wholly on the lady receiving MONEY and the men wanting SEX is highly flawed. You have to remember that some relationships lead to MARRIAGE. So you cannot place all Nigerian relationships in one bucket.

However, one can strongly argue that most relationships are susceptible to the points mentioned above.

bknight: Op write on common mistakes guy make in choosing olosho, they will clamp down on d topic not on you

My dear
My love
U didn't miss me
*sobs*