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Prenuptial Agreements - Family - Nairaland

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Poll: Your attitude to prenuptial agreements?

Positive: 50% (54 votes)
Negative: 50% (54 votes)
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Do Prenuptial Agreements Work In Nigeria? / Guys, 'prenuptial Agreement' To Avoid Alimony, Palimony And D Monies? / Prenuptial Agreements Vs Gold Diggers: How Effective? (2) (3) (4)

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Prenuptial Agreements by Ndipe(m): 8:31pm On May 23, 2006
What Is Your opinion on Prenuptial Agreement?

Prenuptial agreement is widely popular in the USA transcending nearly all economic class, but mostly common among the nouveau riche. People get married, and when they are not blinded by love, they ask the inevitable questions, "What if this doesnt work out, how do we share our property"? In California, when a couple tie the knot and then divorce, property is equally divided, irrespective of your contribution/share in your erstwhile married home.

But Nigeria, who sai? So, people in a bid to protect their asset, insist on a prenuptial agreement. Sometimes, Love, the ultimate conqueror binds the couple until their eventual death, but you never know whom you are marrying sometimes. Some folks do have a sneaky and shady personality that they conceal during the courtship period, and especially when one is susceptible to being covered with blinders all in the name of Love, those blinders sometimes get taken off after marriage, and one gets to see the other side of their mate.

So few last week, Paul Mccartney and his wife, Heather called off their relationship. The gossip mill churning out in the publications and Television is that Paul will have to pay big time for not insisting on a pre-nup. His estranged wife, actually wanted to sign one, but he turned down her offer, calling it 'unromantic'. Same stuff has been happening to people, so while others are so lucky that they might not be taken to the cleaners, others do live a life of regret.

So, in your opinion, would you insist on signing a prenup? Is it a Christian thing to do? When you do have doubts about the relationship, then that means, it is not worth taking a step further in legalizing it, but at the same time, one can get upended in the course of marital life, like infidelity and take the unfortunate path of divorce.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by beyunce(f): 8:42pm On May 23, 2006
totally agree wit it.

1 Like

Re: Prenuptial Agreements by hotangel2(f): 9:27pm On May 23, 2006
Im deffinitely gonna sign one. Cos i know i'll be rich (amen), and yes, i'll trust my husband, but kai, im still gonna sign a prenup o. Seriously!

I agree with it. It's a good idea.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by uchie(f): 9:55pm On May 23, 2006
I know several people in Nigeria who have them especially those with assets abroad. It makes sense but just shows how marriage is so business-like these days.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by chinani(f): 10:16pm On May 23, 2006
I disagree with it. Marriage is a risk. There is no minimizing this. Prenups are an illusion of protection. Anyhow, if a man is afraid to trust me then I'm afraid of him.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Seun(m): 10:31pm On May 23, 2006
Anyhow, if a man is afraid to trust me then I'm afraid of him.
<sarcasm>It is only natural for a rational person to be afraid of a fraidy cat.</sarcasm>
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Ndipe(m): 10:56pm On May 23, 2006
Perhaps, prenup became a popular concept/idea among the rich in order to 'protect' their asset from gold diggers.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by GUNNER(f): 11:27pm On May 23, 2006
"Love conquers a lot,"   wink  but not everything there's a reason you also have a brain."  grin



if ure "BILL GATES" who wants to get hitched and don't  do a prenup "you should be seeing a psychiatrist, not a lawyer."  shocked shocked shocked
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by chinani(f): 11:42pm On May 23, 2006
Ndipe:

Perhaps, prenup became a popular concept/idea among the rich in order to 'protect' their asset from gold diggers.
Yes, maybe. But then I have to ask, why marry someone you aren't sure about? It's a free world. If you aren't sure, WAIT! Patience is a virtue. I think people are very hasty & this is why PreNups are popular. But PreNups aren't air tight. Judges only give them a cursy glance in the UK - ask Mick Jagger. And in the US, well Donald Trump's 1st wife got more than their pre & post nuptial agreement specified. shocked I guess a good lawyer makes a difference. His 2nd wife got the specified amount. His 3rd wife. . .well I guess THIS is why rich people get PreNups. They marry for a season.

@Seun
I don't ski dive either. smiley But really, if at the alter your bride shrugs & says "I guess so" instead of "I do" wouldn't you re-consider? To me, PreNups are the written equivalent.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by pa55word(m): 12:00am On May 24, 2006
what is this world turning into,celebrities get married know that is will not work.so PreNups is to secure their asset,when celeb like Eminem get married to his wife for the second time only to file a divorce after 3wks,that show the kind of world we are in.
If you don't love your partner enough,y going to the alter, although i can understand that things happen in life "divorce is one of them".


Visit http://www.nigeriancircle.com
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by IAH(f): 12:02am On May 24, 2006
It is highly advisable for those who are getting married to gold-diggers, cheats and untrustworthy partners. grin
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by omogenaija(f): 3:27am On May 24, 2006
chinani:

Yes, maybe. But then I have to ask, why marry someone you aren't sure about? It's a free world. If you aren't sure, WAIT! Patience is a virtue. I think people are very hasty & this is why PreNups are popular. But PreNups aren't air tight. Judges only give them a cursy glance in the UK - ask Mick Jagger. And in the US, well Donald Trump's 1st wife got more than their pre & post nuptial agreement specified. shocked I guess a good lawyer makes a difference. His 2nd wife got the specified amount. His 3rd wife. . .well I guess THIS is why rich people get PreNups. They marry for a season.

@Seun
I don't ski dive either. smiley But really, if at the alter your bride shrugs & says "I guess so" instead of "I do" wouldn't you re-consider? To me, PreNups are the written equivalent.


chinani:

I disagree with it. Marriage is a risk. There is no minimizing this. Prenups are an illusion of protection. Anyhow, if a man is afraid to trust me then I'm afraid of him.

I agree with u 100000000 % homegirl. u took the words right out of my mouth. I couldnt have said it better myself.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Rottweiler(m): 8:54am On May 24, 2006
It's all BULLSHIT!!!!! That's one of the major reasons why marriages can not/are not sustained in the developed world. Is marriage a business venture? NO! If my wife had insisted on us having a prenuptial agreement, I would have called it off, Love or no Love! It really crazy the way certain things are being done this days. Couples are supposed to weather marital storms together and not say QUIT at the slightest provocation just because of the expected 'marital gratuity'! This is no love at all.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by dominobaby(f): 9:44am On May 24, 2006
*shakes head*
where is the love?
This is B.U.L.L.Poo, in my own opinion.
But like IAH said, it is highly recommended for those marrying for material things!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Rottweiler(m): 10:58am On May 24, 2006
hot-angel:

I'm deffinitely going to sign one. Cos i know i'll be rich (amen), and yes, i'll trust my husband, but kai, im still going to sign a prenup o. Seriously!

I agree with it. It's a good idea.

Yeah! it's a good idea at the beginning grin but wait till the end for details. It's like somebody having a pump-action rifle at home. You know it's there. Any time you hear a funny sound at your window, you pick up the rifle just to check out the noise. Because you have a rifle, you have developed ichy fingers. All you need to do one day is to pull the trigger.
The truth of the matter is that the PRE-NUP AGREEMENT IS A WOMAN'S LICENCE TO GOLD DIGGING!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by seeker(m): 11:20am On May 24, 2006
I totally agree with the "puppy" that just posted. Most marriages fail these days because people know somewhere at the back front of their minds that they can get out. That's why people get into marriage lightly in the first place. I totally wear my affection/love on my sleave and expect the same response. Otherwise, no relationship. Call me naive, but so far it's been working.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by funloving(m): 1:25pm On May 24, 2006
Ain't we missing something here.We are using celebrity  and nouve riche marriages as a standard for the proper marriage but history has proved beyond any doubt that this category of peope have the most failed marriages and they can't be used as standard.They are too high and mighty to be humble enough to learn the nitty-gritty of marriage.

The standards for marriages should be those ordinary folks,mostly in the villages,who are well past seventy and have celebrated over thiry years of marriage to just the same first wife or husband.That category includes most of our parents and grandparents.Ordinary simple folks,not celebrities who are damm so materialist and egotistic.(I have a strong dislike for celebrities  angry )

In the past there were no prenups and marriages survived longer.My parents have been married for 33 years now and are still very much together in love,no prenups.

Lets face it,we have turned relationships into business ventures because the modern society tells us there is an easy way out.
If we stick to the traditional methods,were the couple weather storms together,then there will be no need for the very useless,baseless,stupid prenonsense called prenuptial agreements.

If you don't trust a person enough to spend your life with them,then don't bother to marry them.Better to be single than marry with the knowledge that it ain't gonna last.

1 Like

Re: Prenuptial Agreements by dominobaby(f): 3:10pm On May 24, 2006
@funloving, well said!!
Its just so sad that marriage's lost its essence and value.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by LoverBwoy(m): 3:12pm On May 24, 2006
Nice post funloving n chinani
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by IAH(f): 4:01pm On May 24, 2006
It’s really very funny. They have not even married yet and they have already planned & made provisions for their divorce. Hahahahaha! That kind of marriage is a joke. Its foundations are shaky from the start. Anyone who hopes to put in his/her best and have a lasting marriage will not subscribe to this. What’s the essence of a marriage that lacks the most important ingredients – Trust, FAITH (in your partner), Loyalty and Commitment.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Nobody: 4:17pm On May 24, 2006
Dear Father Lord, when you gave Eve to Adam you did not bring a paper and ask Adam to agree on which portion of the garden or how many animals Eve would be entitled to in the event that they divorced! Baba, see your children, did they not read the bible where Adam and Eve BOTH sinned, got the same punishment (even though it was eve's fault!) and still continued living happily ever after?

Lord have mercy on thy children especially the gold-digging women who have no jobs except marrying rich guys so they can collect what they have not worked for after a few months of pampering.

What has marriage turned into today? A fellow on a BBC site once said the reason women get half of their husband's wealth after divorce is because she has to be paid for cooking, cleaning and sex! shocked What should men be paid for? taking out the thrash, being the household handy man and sex too?
Any one with half a brain knows it is the ridiculous laws in Europe and America that are at fault for the high rate of divorces. Women get out at the drop of a hat knowing at least they'd have a house and some millions to get by on. Those with kids end up having alimony (free salary) for the rest of their lives. Madam Heather Mills wants payment to keep her daughter in a posh private school when none of Paul's previous kids attended a private school! undecided

contrast to a nigerian woman, who won't get a farthing for divorcing her husband but scorn and insults and you know why millions of nigerian women would rather die with their husbands than leave them.

Prenup agreements? That's like saying "let us decide what you recieve when you are set to leave", it is an indication of how "serious" both parties take such marriages.
It is laughable that more than 9yrs after his death, Anna Nicole Smith (a former topless dancer in a bar!) is still fighting to get billions out the estate of an 86yr old man she married for only 6 months! after getting more than $2m in gifts! shocked Do these pple have any shame?

How on earth does a 26yr old girl convince me that she married an 86yr old invalid for love? After 6 months she suddenly wants half of the resources of the poor man, what do you want the faithful kids who stood by their father for decades to do? just dash her the money for "keeping their father happy"? A girl who was proven unfaithful to the man she claimed to love?

American marriages for you!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by wiseguy(m): 4:43pm On May 24, 2006
Hell No! You can say am naive or backward. I dont care. I would never sign any contract with my would be wife. That is no marriage. Helloooooo pple! How can we call such Marriage? It is no marriage. At best its just a business agreement b/w a man and a woman or b/w specimen A and specimen B. Period! They just want to test the waters and experiment with themselves.

LET US NOT DESECRATE THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION PLEASE.

Forget the celebrities. I hate them and I dont think they know I exist so the feeling is perfectly mutual anyway. But when we are discussing in the forum it is best we take our standard from people who are doing it as it supposed to be done and not people who see marriage as if they are signing a new contract for their football clubs, with a music recording firm or to appear in a new movie. That is how the celebs see marriage. I pity them. They are actually missing something. Excuse me ooo Abeg!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by sage(m): 4:46pm On May 24, 2006
Talk is cheap ( but at least it requires courage)

Typing something on the net is even cheaper

Divorces are not
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Seun(m): 5:04pm On May 24, 2006
Yes, maybe. But then I have to ask, why marry someone you aren't sure about?
- For the sake of children.
- In order to show the world that you've arrived.
- Because your family is putting pressure on your to get married.
- Because the biological clock is ticking and half a wife is better than none.

There's something you need to understand: people change. I may trust you today, but tommorrow something might happen and you might become less trustworthy. You might love me today but tommorrow something might happen to me to make me less lovable. We may grow apart. We may learn things about each other that we didn't know before. A loving spouse may get exposed to a new religion and become a monster. Shit happens.

The prenuptial agreement is just like an insurance contract. When you take a life insurance policy for your family, does it mean you are planning to die soon? When you take fire insurance, does it mean you are planning to burn your house? When you marry an imperfect person, this is a risk, and it's ok to have insurance against risks!

The truth of the matter is that the PRE-NUP AGREEMENT IS A WOMAN'S LICENCE TO GOLD DIGGING!
This is irrational. Prenuptial agreements are the opposite of that. They take away the gold-digger's incentive.

If you aren't sure, WAIT! Patience is a virtue.
That one na theory. Wait until you are 35 years old and single and you'll understand why people take risks.

if at the alter your bride shrugs & says "I guess so" instead of "I do" wouldn't you re-consider?
If I have a good prenuptial agreement, then I won't have to reconsider! If she leaves me, I won't be ruined. I can always use the money that's rightfully mine to pick up another sweet sixteen.

If my fiancee is unwilling to sign the prenup, it means she is planning to divorce me and take half of my possessions. A gold-digger will never sign a prenuptial agreement, but someone that loves me won't mind!

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Re: Prenuptial Agreements by funloving(m): 5:21pm On May 24, 2006
Mr Seun I have some questions for you.

Where were the prenups in the decades past when grannies of today still with their fisrt marriages got married ?
Why has prenups become important today ?
We have always had rich men and rich women getting married in the past with no prenups.Why was it not necessary then ?

Can't you see that the problem goes beyond just taking a "marriage insurance",according to you.An insurance I am sure our parents never needed and yet they brought us up well,if we agree that are we are well brought up.

Hey friend,throw the prenonsense out of the window and lets instead work towards having  lasting marriages without the need to set the rules of separtion even before being joined together
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by funloving(m): 5:22pm On May 24, 2006
Mr Seun I have some questions for you.

Where were the prenups in the decades past when grannies of today still with their fisrt marriages got married ?
Why has prenups become important today ?
We have always had rich men and rich women getting married in the past with no prenups.Why was it not necessary then ?

Can't you see that the problem goes beyond just taking a "marriage insurance",according to you.An insurance I am sure our parents never needed and yet they brought us up well,if we agree that are we are well brought up.

Hey friend,throw the prenonsense out of the window and lets instead work towards having  lasting marriages without the need to set the rules of separtion even before being joined together
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Nobody: 5:30pm On May 24, 2006
Dear Mr. Admin,

You are a nigerian just like me and many others on this forum. When have you ever heard of a nigerian woman signing prenup agreements? Let's not be more American in thinking than the Americans themselves, prenup is based on the American judicial system that seeks to "protect" women in the event of divorce.

Wait until you are 35 years old and single and you'll understand why people take risks
.

The reasons why pple marry in America and Nigeria are radically diff. It is only in America that pple who barely met 2 weeks ago get married, within 6 months they are filing divorce papers. In Nigeria, no father will give away his daughter to a man he does not know!

If I have a good prenuptial agreement, then I won't have to reconsider!  If she leaves me, I won't be ruined.  I can always use the money that's rightfully mine to pick up another sweet sixteen.

If my fiancee is unwilling to sign the prenup, it means she is planning to divorce me and take half of my possessions.  A gold-digger will never sign a prenuptial agreement, but someone that loves me won't mind!
Which of your fiancees is signing a prenup agreement with you? Is she American or European? Under what laws are those prenup agreements enforceable? The Ogun state customary court?  How many divorces take place in Nigeria that you would be bothering about prenups?
How many of MKO's wives did he give half his wealth to after he sent them away?
Someone that truly loves you won't be signing a prenup with you, she will be working towards making the marriage last just as that of your parents is still standing today!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Seun(m): 5:34pm On May 24, 2006
I am going to answer your questions with questions.

Where were the prenups in the decades past when grannies of today still with their fisrt marriages got married
Where was the Internet when our Grandpas of today were working in their farms?

Why has prenups become important today?
Why has the internet become important today?

We have always had rich men and rich women getting married in the past with no prenups.Why was it not necessary then ?
We have always had people who wanted knowledge. Why was the Internet unecessary then?

An insurance I am sure our parents never needed and yet they brought us up well,if we agree that are we are well brought up.
If we were well brought up, why is the average Nigerian so corrupt and unreliable?

Hey friend,throw the prenonsense out of the window and lets instead work towards having lasting marriages without the need to set the rules of separtion even before being joined together
Let's throw away the Internet because our all-knowing parents never used it!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by wiseguy(m): 5:42pm On May 24, 2006
@Seun

Brother! Remember what you ask for is what you will get. Ask God to give you your wife and forget about this pre-whatever.
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by Nobody: 5:43pm On May 24, 2006
The correlation between prenups and the internet is not reliable. Besides only very FEW Americans really sign prenups. prenups are big things because they are used by the rich and famous to protect their assets, the average american couple does not sign prenups, lets not get overly personal about the idiosyncrasies of a few rich.
The internet is an IMPORTANT tool for personal communication to make life easier, prenups are merely a form of marital insurance!
Re: Prenuptial Agreements by seeker(m): 5:53pm On May 24, 2006
While it may be true that people do change, I think a pre-nup will simply pre-dispose a couple to grow apart.

Very few everyday people sign them. You'll find that those most likely to are celebrities, whose lifestlyes and media exposure expose them to faster breakups and "grabbers".

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