Greetingz to yhu Ladies AND Gentle_men of Nairaland.
Itz a pleasure to meet yhu and yhu to meet me.
What am about to write is strictly for enjoyment & entertainment...aka "My own personal FAJIII-PLUS". Its my debut into the world of writing professionaly. I hope it make a lasting impression and serves as an enjoyable read.
Comments and criticisms(Not moral crushing criticisms) are welcome & would bii be appreciated.
THANK YHU.

Most diaries start with boring description and crap, some writers are even bunch of confused chickens starting their diaries by saying “Where do I begin?” In my opinion, they are all lame. Diaries are means of expressing the inner-self and should be expressed in a ‘non-confusing’ manner. Lame people… take note.
So where do I begin?... LOL. Just Kidding. Me, Canarie will like to start from the past. Not too past like that though, just yesterday, a Saturday precisely. I’m a highly sexualized person. In order words, I love to Bleep a lot & anything sexual in nature. (I don’t do boys). My taste is women with BIG YANSH, meeehn, they turn me on well-well. I’ll get back to that later.

Back to the matter, it was a Saturday, me and my goons were indoors playing PES2013 on PS3. Omo, the bastard boy dey lead me like 5-0 for the game. No be say I no sabi oh….. but that guy ehn! Anyways, as we were playing the game, my phone rang. It was Morenike. Though, I hate being disturbed when playing PES, this was more important.
Now Morenike was a babe I met some weeks back at the club. I got her PIN and after some time we started chatting frequently. She’s is a light-skinned, tall and sexy babe with a very big yansh. This girl is a well packaged babe and only big boys like me can handle those kind of babes.
Lest I forget, a brief description of myself. They call me “JAMIE The Canarie”. Canarie for short, Born and bred in Lagos, so therefore, you can call me lagos boy.
To give a very humble description of myself, me, Canarie, I’m a cool, tall, muscular and extremely sexy dude. Oh yes I am. The ladies blush when they see me. Lol. Ok, so I have a lot of friends, mostly the female sex. I’m attracted t all kinds of people, from the good to the bad to the baddest. People from the S.Us, the holy-holy set, to the efikos, the bookworms down to the runz girls on campus, yahoo boys, oloshos etc. I have friends everywhere on campus.

So Morenike has been added to my collection of friends. Truth be told, I plan to straff this girl as soon as possible and at the same time, take my time in order not to appear needy. Its called timing… timing is everything.
I paused the game & left the room. “Hello sweetheart”… We talked for like about five minutes before ending the call and going back into the room. “Package dey oh, Morenike go show for afternoon. You guys will have to Bleep out”.
My guys were happy for me of course. They heard about Morenike from the normal yarns we used to have. They advised me to do her very well and give her what she wants and more, that if I do her very well, she will definitely come back to me begging for more… Like I didn’t know.
I thanked the relationship advisers and headed straight for the bathroom. Fast forward to some hours later. Morenike was yet to show up. Women! They don’t keep to time. They say something and do the opposite. I’ve since learnt to listen to a woman’s action rather than her words.
Expectations were high. My guys still chilling around, waiting to get a glimpse of the big yanshed morenike before they excused themselves. “Guy, e be like say miss big bumbum no dey show again ooh”. It was Chike’s voice. We all laughed. Chike talks silly all the time, we’ve learnt to excuse him. Ope on the other hand has a mature mind. The kind of person you could refer to as a big brother. Yusuf is the typical all round guy who’s talented in all sorts of things. The others left earlier. So in the room at that time were four guys. Including me.

PATIENTLY WE WAITED FOR THIS BABE. WILL SHE COME ? WILL SHE NOT COME? WHO KNEW ? ONLY THE gods OF OUR FORE-FATHERS.
SO I,YUSUF,CHIKE &OPE. . . THE FOUR MUSKETEERS FOR THE NIGHT DECIDED TO HIT THE STREETS AND HAVE SOME FUN. THIS WAS DEFINITELY FAR BETTER THAN WASTING PRECIOUS TIME WAITING FOR SOMEONE WE WERENT EVEN SURE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP.
THE DEFINATION OF FUN DIFFERS FROM INDIVIDUALS TO INDIVIDUALS. SOME PEOPLE DEFINE FUN AS WATCHING A MOVIE, LISTENING TO MUSIC, GOING TO THE BEACH…ETC,WHILE ODDLY ENOUGH, THERE ARE SOME INDIVIDUALS WHO DEFINE FUN AS STUDYING ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT…DONT THEY KNOW TOO MUCH OF READING KILLS PEOPLE?
BUT WAIT OOOH, GUYS IMAGINE A GROUP OF GIRLS MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER. . . WONT THAT BE FUN? LOL WEED,DRINKS,SEX…WITH A LITTLE BIT OF THIS AND THAT.WHAT COULD BE MORE FUN THAN THESE THINGS?
SINCE THE LETTER “D” COMES BEFORE THE LETTER “W”, WE AGREED TO GET DRINKS BEFORE WEED.
“ABOKI IS MY GUY” ABEG GIVE US ALOMO META WITH ONE CALLY,WE WAN GINGER OUR SYSTEM THIS NIGHT”.
“ABOKI IS MY GUY” IS A MALLAM WHO SELLS PROVISIONS DOWN THE STREET.
“YOU DON FORGET SAY YOU DEY OWE ME MONEY KO?, WALAHI I NO FIT GIVE AM FOR YOU ANYTHING”.
CHAAAIIII.THIS GUY NEVA FORGET SHAAA.
“ABOKI IS MY GUY, SHEBI YOU KNOW SAY YOU BII MY GUY.I GO PAY YOU.TRUST ME”. BUT THIS MALLAM WAS NOT READY TO TRUST ANYBODY AT ALL. MY GUYZ ON THE OTHER HAND WERE GETTING IMPATIENT.
DIDNT THIS MALLAM KNOW TIME WAS GOING? NA SO WE WHINE DIZ GUY NO BII SMALL OOO.
ONTOP WETIN SEF? ONTOP THREE BOTTLES OF ALOMO AND ONE CALLY…FINISH. JUST BECAUSE SAY PEPPER NEVER REST FOR HAND. AFTER ALL NO BII CHIKE & YUSUF HIT JACKPOT 2 MONTH AGO? JACKPOT OF 2MILLION NAIRA. OPE SEF BUY EOD RECENTLY. EVEN ME. NO BII MII POP ACE LAST WEEK FOR CLUB?
THIS LIFE SEF. MONEY IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING.GOOD THINGS OF LIFE,POWER,FAME,WOMEN ….
MONEY IS THE MIRACLE . MONEY MUST BE MADE.
IF THERES NO MONEY…HMMM IT IS A TERRIBLE SOMETHING OOOH.

CHIKE’S VOICE BROUGHT ME BACK TO REALITY.
“JAMIE,YHU DEY DO”?
“DO WETIN”
EVERYBODY TO FINISH HIS DRINK WITHIN 30 SECONDS.
IS THIS GUY CRAZY? CALLY WITHIN 30 SECONDS? DOES HE WANT TO CUT MY THROAT?
BUT INSTEAD OF SAYING NO THANKS , I SAID
“NO SHAKING”… LIKE A BOSS.

TO.BE.CONTINUED