First of all, take a deep breathe and tell yourself, I love me and i'll never stop doing so.
Whatever you do, don't hate yourself for it otherwise this is not gonna end well for you. It's very understandable to feel that way after being cheated on and as humans, there's no telling what we can do and what our emotions will make us do in situations like that.

With that said, ask yourself if you can forgive him and want the relationship to continue. I'll advise you do that and also find some time as soon as possible and have a heart to heart talk with him. Find out why he's cheating on you, why he feels doing it is the way to resolve whatever the problem is.

His responses to your questions will help determine if you wanna go further with him. If it's positive and he still wants the marriage to work, then he needs to apologize to you and clarify things with his/receptionist/boss and possibly involve you.

If what you're saying is correct, then your husband screwed up and he's the only one who can rectify that. However, you can't ask him to quit his job if he's no longer interested in you like it seems. You'll never know if you don't ask

On a side note, this should be in the family section if you want matured responses

Thank you so much. He says he loves me and he says it was a big mistake. I actually don't mind moving on, from the way men look at me I think I'm good looking, the only problem is I love him so much, we have been together for 12 years and I've been faithful to him. I have been very happy in my marriage and did not even have any reason to think he would look outside. We have 3 wonderful kids who are all doing well in school, and our life was the envy of many...

Hating yourself is the right thing to do now since you went about it your way - the wrong way!

An adage says, if we are to burn a snake according to its length, we just might burn a house too. You're a wife and not a street fighter, you got his ring and you're leaving in his house then you should have involved those he respects rather than that ugly scene.

That's the problem with most women, they think after acting silly.

He loves you? yes
You love him? yes

Other questions you'll ask yourself will be:
Do you forgive him?
Are you ready to move on?
Are you ready to forget what happened and also about the girl?

If all these are yes, then have a convo with him and ask:
What am I doing wrong?
Do you want this marriage to continue?
Do you want our kids to grow up in a family?

tit for tat doesn't do more good than harm but the opposite.
Ignore the person saying "once a cheat, always a cheat".
If he truly wants you and the family, he'll change that's if he hasn't

Don't let your actions harm your future but they should make you forget the past

While I don’t agree with his excuse here, i think 12 years is a long time to let go like that but you wanna tread with caution from now on. Decide if you wanna pick yourself up and let that be wasted years or give it another shot and hope it works for good, life is too short to be wasted.

That people look at you because you’re beautiful doesn't mean they are right for you or that you’re in anyway uncommon. It’s a big mistake but he didn’t tell you why? That’s too vague, is it that something about your sex life or other aspects of your life/marriage.
Don’t let the attention you receive get into your head. The devil you know is better than…

my dear, abegi! what have you done that others haven't done before? there's nothing new under the sun jare.. forget the issue and let bygones be bygones.. i think you should make jest of husband more cuz he brought you down to that level...

sandy0000: I also told the boss that I had an STD....

They were both given warnings, and of course they were laughed at, I am now not sure if that is what I wanted.

I am really regretting this...I feel so ashamed and embarrased. I know yes he was cheating and that had taken the joy in my relationship but my dignity has gone with all that...

It cannot be reversed, the only thing would be for my husband to leave the job so we can all move forward....
I did something terrible and I hate myself...

You did wat u thought was right, never regret your actions, but learn frm it, You went too far taking ur family matter to his office and I think u owe him an apology in that regards. However, going by your response, u both have been together for 12yrs and he never cheats, what would've happened, Ask yourself that question. While doing that too, Dnt forget to engage God in prayers, cuz some women are very diabolical, he could have fallen victim of such wicked women. Any woman who is willing to sleep wit a married man is must likely diabolic. So keep praying for him, Talk wit ur pastors and his family too after trying to speak wit him in the coolest manner possible while kneeling down and apologizing, be ready to take the whole blames. Am sure he will come straight and let u know if u actually went wrong in any way, but if he can't actually finger point ur offense, then u know is the devil at work. Prayer the key.

Madam, you did the right thing...


You only warned a mistress disturbing your husband.. thats all.

Your dignity is still intact...
and you have every right to warn all illegal persons interrupting your home.

I expect your husband to beg you now for his sins (not you begging him for the sins he committed).

Btw, these and many more are the reasons why we all need spiritual fathers.
Who is your Pastor?
Do you attend church services with your husband?
Did you do a Church wedding?
Who joined you with hubby?

Issues like these are best handled by our spiritual fathers (not you begging him, not the in-laws).

A man who is committed to God's work alongside other congregation will never want to tarnish his image..

If the best spot for hubby is clubs and social gatterings... then I don't see how a club attendant or a bar man can solve cogent family issues (birds of the same feather)