I've always wondered why this is so, my longest and best relationship lasted 3 years and thou my shorty was in love with me, i forced myself not to fall in love with her.

I hate that feeling when you can't do without another person and all other emotinal turmoil and psycological torture that comes with falling in love. I think we dudes were not made that way which is why we feel more comforable being players cause we weaker than women emotionally and don't like/know how to handle emotions,

What y'all be thinking bout this?

hmmmmmmmmmm

cuz they dont want their ''ego'' to be hurt

guess u rite rhoda, girls can make u go crazy, i hate serious relationships cos it always brings out the worst in me!!

it brings out the big billy goat in Big shishi

that's cos guys av a problem with faithfullness. they know they can't be true to one girl so they shy away from love.

the faithful ones are very hard to find, like 1 in a million, but i thank God I found the 1 out of the bunch
that's why am so happy

because hhm i think the guys would be in better position to answer this question

to be honest girls are strong to fall in and out of love. after my first relationship which was a ticking time bomb waiting to expload. i have never had the heart to fall in love again. the pain is too much when things dont work out. i did rather stay single than experience such pain. damn it hurts like hell.


boys are so afraid of falling in love cuzz we are the ones dat find it really difficult to move on. atleast for a while we will be lamenting the "had i known" speech. we are men but our heart is feminine. there might be guys out there who are so strong dat they can fall in and out of love but my heart is too light.

I don't know why. I'm guilty of this as well. I see it as a commitment and i just can't commit myself emotionally to anyone right now, too costly for me if the lady don't feel the same as well. But i honestly want to commit myself to someone. HELP NEEDED

awwwwwwww. all d guyz here seem 2 be either scared or heart broken, 4 sum reason it gives me hope dat we galz re not the one exagerating our pain.

@ big shisi, i might be wrong, but i think d only reason u guyz re afraid of commitment is 'cuz' u guyz see commitment as a rope tying u down. This rope wld prevent u from veing fun nd doing the things u love d most, seeing as it wld mean u re answering to ur galfrnd.

@ Diddy, poor u. Hope u realize all galz aint like dat. M sure if u try me i wld be diferent (just jokng). But cheer up, things cld be worse. Nd someday u'll ve 2 fall in love again sn.

how many guys think there better off as players please? or are u saying want to be players?

wuz upToy, it's not just cos i think i'll be tied down (i know i have 2 settle down some day anyway) but it's stuff like handling when another guy starts showing interest with someone you are in love with, or she thinks you are becoming overposessive e.g. cos u don't want her hanging out with a particular guy, or you have an argument and she says she needs her space e.t.c. It's stuff like that i can't handle.
 I rember when i was 16 and used to hide under my duvet and listen to music and ger moody just cos mt gurl and i were not talking, as a man i can't be dealing with that kinda SH^T??!!

BABY4u2, I ain't going to lie, being a playa has its drawbacks but it offers the best type of comfort and safety zone, because u don't get heart-broken or hurt but then in the long run, you'll find it hard 2 trust and love a girl(i'm finding that out myself), u ain't willing to let go because u don't want to be at da mercy of a girl!!, falling in love means u ain't in control maaan!!!

i feel u man. that shiit aint fair at all. its just crazy.

It's harder for a guy 2 move on, i did some things to convince myself i was over my serious g/friend of 3 years, (even tho i sent her some hate mails and messages on her phone ).I saw her at a fast food joint with her new man and damn!!! i felt like puching both their faces in (but mutha***a was huge and didn't have my boys with me  ).

She called me and told me i had a wonderful wifey but i didn't know how to take care of her, and what makes it worse is that some people also tell me i lost a gem of a girl, making me feel like a loser or like she never did nothing wrong when we kicked it??!!

@bigshishi if ur a player (am guessing ur not amen) would u like it if ur getting played too? men are scared to get emotional thats true but being a player doesnt solve anything, an advice many men/boys are yet to learn.

@ Big, do u realise dat control is subjective. what u cld term out of control (e.g not being able 2 handle ur galz desirablity to other men), cld be classified by some as a simple solution? But as for the crying under d duvet thing, its a risk one has 2 take in life every time if they want 2 feel love and to love.  Even men sad 2 say still do dat, not because they are sisi's but cuz dey took a risk. Nd dats wat all guyz shld do. Love, who knows one day ur love might be return in more folds dan expected.

nah, dat aint for me. one heartbreak is enough. two will be suicidal. i did rather stay single and take my time very well before i fall again.

I know every sensible and reasonable GUY should be afraid of falling in love if and only if they have seen how stupidly they have invested in a relationship and how sadly the whole thing ended and for as long as the lady meets a new man to provide all these luxuries for her, they dont care where it comes from!.

Like i have said in many Romance Threads, i dont have any heart for any one to break any more, i have broken heart and they have broken mine. I am sick and tired of putting into a relationship, trying hard to make it work for one yeye aristo to snatch her away just like that haba. My advice to all guys , please and please discover yah self, make the best out of life without ladies and i bet they would run at you when they see what stuffs you are made of, they are like flies you know? I mean some of them b4 u ladies crusify me and i beta be the aristo than to be the

I trust my self and my self trust me, once beaten 1million times strong and not shy oo.

its not dat guys dnt fall in love. its just wat has bben set in society. Men are suppose to be the specie that are strong and Feelings is considered a weakness. they might love you but they would never admit (expect if they know they will lose the girl) because they dnt want to be considered weak. that is y some people think gays are weak because they show their emotions. which is also the same thing they think of women. But what they dnt know is that Love Gives you strength. Have you seen a woman protecting her man?? she would do anythin.

okay, for example with my ex-girl, there were times she didn't have her school fees or house rent and i would risk missing payments or paying bills to come tru 4 her so just that she can be alright. I even helped her once when we didn't talk for a week and she came to me crying her eyes out and begging to God that she'll pay me back and I was the only one that could help her.
My head told me NO! but my stupid heart went ahead and i gave her, 2 months later she had another boy, that ain't evn bad, the fact that I had introduced her to almost every one of my family made me look like a bigger fool!! .
I was real bitter bout it for a while but i was still man enough, she called me and i forgave her but the memories still bite me every now and then. I thought being a playa would he;lp but when i was all it did was make me hurt more girls and sometimes u start to really like this particular girl but you have to force yourself not to and the truth is when you are a playa , u are never really, truly happy, there ain't no love, let's face it being a playa is just bout sex!!

man you do not have to stop loving cos as its said what goes around comes around, who knows someday you could be PLAYED IF U REVERT TO BEING A PLAYER U ARE ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDING UR WEAKNESS AS A HUMAN BEING WITH THE ABILITY TO LOVE

mennnn, it is very hard to fall in love not to talk of falling out of love.this is so bcous girls are easy to get when their are out of relation but the jelted guy can take his entire life time to get another chic. So the main reason why men alway sfraid to fall in love is simply because we are very wick in emotion to the extent that we dont want to feel jelted or face rejection.

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Hmmmmmmmm am short of words, but all i can say is this; i think they don't wanna be hurt the second time, because most ladies better still girls, are too money demanding, and full with feign love,

Because men are like precious gold very hard to get so they dont want to be hurt always but girls are like pure water very easy to get because of their ,

silans:

Because men are like precious gold very hard to get so they don't want to be hurt always but girls are like pure water very easy to get because of their ,

ohhhhhhhhh. cant believe u just sed dat. Even if it was a joke 2 see how ladies wld react, u re still way out of line. Not only are u disresspecting women, ladies nd girlz, u re also making ur male counterparts look heartless, stupid, irresponsible and naive. This is because u re somewhat represinting the ideas that men have. If i was a guy nd heared u say that i'll totaly flip nd can ur arse into a condensed can.

Just thinking u must never had, had a galfrnd with the way u just spoke.

Because they are afraid of rejection. Simple and short!

IAH hit the head on the nail.

he, he, toym28,
but why are most ladies into feign love practice?
coz that moivate me to reply wrongly,

Dont think we do (well the responsible half of us, sha). But 4 dose who do, i think its either misunderstood emotions dey feel (for example after comming out of a relationship, nd starting another one signals cld be mixed). Or dey simply want to give a guy wat he wants 2 hear (which i must say, most guy lately in dis age just love hearing dat word)!

IAH:

Because they are afraid of rejection. Simple and short!

the truth of the matter is that men are weaker compare to opposite sex

Well, I think it has to do with the level of self-control required.

A girl in love tends to feel happy and safe with her man.

However any guy, even in love, has to fight against his animal instinct to pounce on the next girl he sees *every day*

It is very hard, so when a relationship is over, it comes with a profound sense of regret and a feeling of having been a sucker (mugu).

Similarly, it is difficult to choose. Believe it or not, women, it is possible for a man to love more than one woman. Choosing to stick with one means giving up all the others- and guys are afraid of making a mistake.

Also there is the tendency of a girl to transform once she has 'caught' a guy. Sometimes it is so fast it makes your head spin. Then it is guilt and conscience that causes you to remain with her. when you finally leave, there are only bad feelings and, yes, regret.

All these point to one thing: it is hard for guys to stomach a closed relationship, especially one in which they were emotionally invested, and it is difficult to repeat something you regret having done before.

Finally, a person in love, male OR female is a very weak and vulnerable creature. This seems to be ok for women, but our crazy society expects men to be PILLARS OF STRENGTH AND FORTITUDE, which is at odds with this. Sometimes the woman herself may despise the man for being such a pathetic weakling and lose respect for him. Men are terrified of this (being percieved as weak)