A man walks into a bar one afternoon and says to
the manager, "I see your sign 'Piano player
needed,' and I want you to know I'm your man. I
packed them in down there at the Cadillac Club
until the IRS shut the place down. Not only that,
I write ALL my own material so you won't ever
have to worry about paying royalties to ASCAP or
BMI."

"You see the piano." said the manager, "Play me a
tune." The piano player rocked out with a
boogie-woogie that had the manager stomping his
feet. "That was great," he said, "What do you
call it?"

"I call it 'Let me Bleep you in the Ass Until your
Hemorrhoids Bleed!'" said the pianist.

"Well," said the manager, "uh, that certainly
is an unusual name for a song. Let's hear another
one."

The piano player played a haunting melody that
brought tears to the manager's eyes it was so
beautiful. "What do you call that tune?" said
the manager.

"I call it 'Open your Mouth Wide and Swallow it
ALL When I Come.'" said the pianist. The manager
replied, "Your playing is great, and I'd like to
hire you, but would you be terribly offended if
I asked you not to announce the titles to your
compositions?"

"Not at all," replied the pianist, "You pay,
I'll play."

That evening, the crowd went wild when the piano
player did his first set. When they finally let
him take a break, he rushed to the john for a
long overdue piss. On the way out, one of the
patrons button-holed him and said, "Wow! you
play great!! But tell me, do you know your fly's
open and your penis is hanging out?"

"Know it? HELL, I wrote it!"

what a weirdo!

lmaosoasoa