Guitarlife: Exactly why I offered to take you on an excursion through the projects so you could see with your own two naked eyes ma'am.

Efemena_xy:

What is this??!!

@OP came here with issues needing help and suggestions on how to solve them. I've given quite a number of practical solutions AND suggestions on how she should go about it, starting with her discussing this with her hubby.

You come on in here making snide remarks and insinuating that I have no idea how these things work in real life and should come with you to one of your projects to see for myself? So that's your solution or the help you can render @OP? How's that going to help this lady? Haven't you got anything meaningful to say here? Seeing as you're obviously more grounded on how things really are for couples living in cramped up conditions, and yet housing adult male relatives.

Like heck!! Guitarlife, if you've got nothing substantial to contribute to this thread, then I suggest you put a lid on it and tape it!

babyosisi:

There is nothing as irritating as people coming to a thread and leaving the topic to face fellow posters
Remember the other guy of yesterday that started calling names of posters rather than respond to the freaking topic at hand

prologue: @ op... Get tv and dvd for the bedroom, then explain to oga, u know him better. During a Manufacturers association meeting, vitafoam advertised something that could go as a chair n bed n was very cheap too... Cos continually sleeping on d couch might give it a new shape. Closing n coming late is energy sapping enough with traffic and all, then stepping inside is seeing contrasting somewhat intimidating figure u can't relate to is equally frustrating. Thoughts like" is he watching? What about if he suddenly turns around?" As u undo ur clothes can be crazy. Tell oga, as u try to provide alternative. Am not sure u have visitors dt late.
Your fears and concerns are well laid.

Guitarlife: Op please so not listen to those condemning you for bringing the issue here. You are the one wearing the shoe and you sure know where it pinches.
I personally will recommend two things for you, wisdom and patience. Your brother in law obviously sees you as his family that is why he is that free with you as to feel comfortable on the only bed in the house.
Have you had to spend a week sleeping on a couch before? What if you humiliate him today and he gets a good job tomoro, moves into his own apartment? you know that your conscience will tell you that you failed to tolerate him too when things were hard?
And stop this unnecessary sensationalism, matrimonial bed. It is just a bed and what makes it matrimonial is when you and ur hubby sleep on it .
Assuming you both decide to get another bed tomoro are you going to still be this worked up on who sleeps on it?
Learn to sacrifice especially when family is involved.

Krisben4343: Please pals, your opinions are needed to guide me before I start creating unnecessary arguments with my husband's younger brother or his family.
My husbands younger brother who just graduated from the higher institution is now living with us searching for a job . But our house is just a seating room and a bedroom with toilet facility the type they call two room self contain in Lagos. Sometimes I close from work on getting home I see him sleeping on my bed, sometime my husband will be in the seating room watching movies and his younger brother will be sleeping on our bed. Is it right to allow him continue or to stop him considering the type of house we are living,? but at nigh the place he sleeps is the seating room while me and my husband sleep in our bedroom. Please your wise opinions will be appreciated. Thanks

babyosisi:

There is nothing as irritating as people coming to a thread and leaving the topic to face fellow posters
Remember the other guy of yesterday that started calling names of posters rather than respond to the freaking topic at hand

acidosis™:



This is cool... really cool

kzokul: Go get a life and face the topic . If not that I attacked you on that thread , what you would have been saying on this thread is your usual chase your husband brother away. I have whipped you in line with reality and you have suddenly realized that it could also be the wife's brother.

Why didn't you tell the OP how you and your husband was enjoying it without anyone in your matrimonial home. Look osisi aka baby_mama, you can go hug transformer ok!

You are now beginning to see the reality on ground. This scenario the OP complained of, I mean sleeping on her matrimonial bed is it not worse than a guy who goes to knock in his brother's room for detergent to wash his cloth. But, still you wanted them to chase the guy away because he is the husband brother. Why are you now changing tune? Because I have whipped you in line with reality and you need to stop winning about.

bellong: @Guitarlife,


What kind of encouragement are you giving the post about resolving differences in her home. If there is any quarrel or disagreement with husband and issues in her home, the first thing for her is to run to third party for solution because she alone knows where the shoe is pinching?


For an healthy relationship either in marriage or daily living with others, courtesy demands you must first discuss issue with the party involved first to find a solution. It is only when that does not work that a third party is encouraged to be invited in the case.


How will you feel if it happened in your home and your wife didn't say anything only for you to read it here? Please let us always put ourselves in situations before giving verdict.

babyosisi:

Exactly the sort of poster I was referring to
How old is this twerp?
Read that highlighted part above and see how utterly stoopid you really are
You don't see it do you?

* Shaking my weave*

Efemena_xy:

What is this??!!

@OP came here with issues needing help and suggestions on how to solve them. I've given quite a number of practical solutions AND suggestions on how she should go about it, starting with her discussing this with her hubby.

You come on in here making snide remarks and insinuating that I have no idea how these things work in real life and should come with you to one of your projects to see for myself? So that's your solution or the help you can render @OP? How's that going to help this lady? Haven't you got anything meaningful to say here? Seeing as you're obviously more grounded on how things really are for couples living in cramped up conditions, and yet housing adult male relatives.

Like heck!! Guitarlife, if you've got nothing substantial to contribute to this thread, then I suggest you put a lid on it and tape it!

kzokul: Like I said earlier on; if not that I attacked you an that thread and whipped you in line with reality you would have been shouting, throw your husband's brother out of the house.

If you don't like it, you can go to hell or better still hug a transformer.

babyosisi:

Thank your lucky stars this is the internet
The type of "konk"I would have deposited on your head while you are down on the floor prostrating at my feet
You would have seen stars

Guitarlife: Yep you're right, my post is rather proverbial. I felt at home writing like that here cos this ain't the romance section. I was rather convinced there was no need to break up all the bones thinking peeps would figure it out easily.

Guitarlife: Though I still got some likes sha so I figure we are all not on the same intellectual level here but then, I will not repeat this mistake again.

Guitarlife: Have a wonderful week ahead.

Efemena_xy:

Mtcheew!!

My sister, tell me about it jare. Then they come in here shouting "bullying" and "cabal" in the same breath. Let him state his solutions, seeing as he's well versed in @op's situation anyway, and while he's at it, should get off my freaking case!




Choi!! These your descriptions really got me laughing!

Reshaping the foam nor be big deal now

But the bit about "stepping inside to see a contrasting somewhat, intimidating, figure you can't relate to..." I sooo get you on that one. What woman won't feel intimidated to be in her personal space with a "strange" adult male pretending to be asleep while she tries to UnCloth?

It won't even get to that stage for me jare. If the worse comes to the worse, I'll just take my change of clothes and go change in the bathroom. At least, there should be some privacy there - inconveniencing it is though...

Come to think of it, if her hubby can afford it, why not get a portable laptop with earphones to go with it? That way, if both wifey and younger brother need to get their kip (nap), wifey can do so with peace on her matrimonial bed, while hubby can watch his programs on his laptop without disturbing her sleep. Then the poor brother-in-law caught in the middle can also get his rest in the parlour, on his roll-up mattress.

@OP: I think you should try these suggestions. If hubby is unwilling to buy the laptop, then dip your hands in your pocket and do so. You too can also use it in watching your favourite African Magic / Nollywood movies when both hubby and his younger brother need to sleep. That way, everyone's happy.

Guitarlife:
Sir/Ma, I very well can relate with your submission but then you need to consider too that this is a very sensitive issue.
The Op has not divulged any sensitive information and she is totally anonymous so I do not understand where this paranoia about discussing family issues with strangers is coming from.
NL may be just a forum or play ground for you but for some its there family.
As long as Op remains anonymous, her decision to speak on here is still noble . She also has not said anything denigrating or unbecoming so I do not see anything wrong here.

babyosisi:

Thank your lucky stars this is the internet
The type of "konk" I would have deposited on your head while you are down on the floor prostrating at my feet
You would have seen stars

bellong:

Sir/Ma,

As much as I understand the anonymous part, you still didn't get the point I was trying to pass. No matter how anonymous a forum is, discussion with a partner first is the right thing to do and not jump at either faceless or "faceful" forum. Nobody knows how well the poster can process information and suggestions, if some others come here and give bad advices and she chooses to take those ones, will she not put her home in more trouble.

How can you tell if her husband is also on nairaland and knows her username? How do you expect him to feel reading it here without the wife discussing it with him at all? It is good to teach a man to fish rather than give him fish. In this context, it is good she is taught amicable conflict resolution without intervention of third party either faceless or "faceful', that is the hallmark of an healthy relationship.

bellong:

Sir/Ma,

As much as I understand the anonymous part, you still didn't get the point I was trying to pass. No matter how anonymous a forum is, discussion with a partner first is the right thing to do and not jump at either faceless or "faceful" forum. Nobody knows how well the poster can process information and suggestions, if some others come here and give bad advices and she chooses to take those ones, will she not put her home in more trouble.

How can you tell if her husband is also on nairaland and knows her username? How do you expect him to feel reading it here without the wife discussing it with him at all? It is good to teach a man to fish rather than give him fish. In this context, it is good she is taught amicable conflict resolution without intervention of third party either faceless or "faceful', that is the hallmark of an healthy relationship.

kzokul: Go get a life and face the topic. If not that I attacked you on that thread, what you would have been saying on this thread is your usual chase your husband brother away. I have whipped you in line with reality and you have suddenly realized that it could also be the wife's brother.

Why didn't you tell the OP how you and your husband was enjoying it without anyone in your matrimonial home. Look osisi aka baby_mama, you can go hug transformer ok!

You are now beginning to see the reality on ground. This scenario the OP complained of, I mean sleeping on her matrimonial bed is it not worse than a guy who goes to knock in his brother's room for detergent to wash his cloth. But, still you wanted them to chase the guy away because he is the husband brother. Why are you now changing tune? Because I have whipped you in line with reality and you need to stop winning about.

honey86:
Mr man you really need to get a life and stop whining. No be internet platform we dey. Pls if you have anything to say, say it to the op and stop behaving like a woman.

Chillisauce:

Which woman

U didn't say a baby or grandpa but woman

It's an insult to womanhood !

I demand an apology

prologue: @ op... Get tv and dvd for the bedroom, then explain to oga, u know him better.

During a Manufacturers association meeting, vitafoam advertised something that could go as a chair n bed n was very cheap too...

Cos continually sleeping on d couch might give it a new shape. Closing n coming late is energy sapping enough with traffic and all, then stepping inside is seeing contrasting somewhat intimidating figure u can't relate to is equally frustrating. Thoughts like" is he watching? What about if he suddenly turns around?" As u undo ur clothes can be crazy. Tell oga, as u try to provide alternative. Am not sure u have visitors dt late.
Your fears and concerns are well laid.