I went out for dinner with my doctor lady friend. Our server was an East African...let's call him Xobile (pronounced "Click"-be-lay)

Xobile brings our drinks and walks away like he was mustering "look at dis bastard" in a deep African accent.

When I go out to eat, I like to tip via a personal tipping scale. I start off at 15%. Then I would add or subtract a dollar for every significant action by the waiter. For example, if my drink is on time, that's an extra dollar; If you look like someone slapped you, that's $1 less.

Anyways, my friend's drink, a glass of sprite, had a black entity in it. She thought it was a bug and refused to continue with our meal. After my investigation, I concluded that it was a piece of dark chocolate. A new drink was needed. This whole time, Xobile was about 100 feet away eyeing us like we were the reason his life is so miserable. We called him over.

When he got to our table and we told him that the drink had a piece of chocolate in it, he replied, "Oh, I know. I saw it." I snapped and said, "WHAT? So at what point did you see it? You knew she would need a new drink and you just waited and watched?" He just said, "My brother, ask an you shall receive."

His tip ended up at -$5. As we left, I left a real tip on the receipt, "Wherever you go, no matter the weather, always bring you own sunshine. You owe me $5 and I'm asking you to receive the two hottest slap you've ever gotten...simultaneously!" (ran out of space.)

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