@ysekina:
There's no chance of comparin hollywood wit nollywwood in anyway...nollywood is too fake predictable nd annoyin wit very few exceptions[color=#770077][/color]

if d comparison is based on just d 3 qualities u av written then they can be compared on being fake nollywood is far more down to earth and non-fictional than Hollywood movies whose main selling point is fiction, on predictability, depending on d one ur used to watching, those who claim they can tell d end of a nollywood movie from d poster stopped watching dem yrs ago, on annoying both movie worlds av very annoying movies. Forget wateva u guys want to say, d major reason y we fail to appreciate our movies is xenocentrism

While the Op's piece is very viable and educative, I don't think it should be demeaned by calling it funny. It should be welcome to critiscism.
My kobos:
1.I don't know when last you watched a recent movie but the 1 vs 100 stuff isn't so popular anymore. The action sequences are more realistic than before both in situation and execution.
2. I think sometimes rules are really broken in reality for the greater good.
3. Romantic fiction has always been unbelievable.
4. Valid. Still happens.
5.Not A fan of horror.
Tensa Zangetsu + Doujin Hyohinmaru.

ohaleoghene: While you are wrong ! Let me enlighten you , and only hope you learn from this . Movies world are fantasy world , totally different from the real world . My lecturer who took me on drama , said and I quote ' in art we do not find reality ,when we do , it is no longer art ' poster , what caught our fancy in movies are the fact that this things do not , and if they do happen arre very rare , and we do only hear about them , and then we say , oh , just like in the movies . Haven't u notice how people who find it hard to believe a certain story say , I am sure you saw that in a movie , that sure can't happen ! So your analysis my dear is crap ! Think of it , won't you find movies boring of it gives us exactly real life situations ? If that is how movies work , while ,.I rather wait till such happens to someone around me , and save the ticket money for a meal .

You don't have to tag the write up as a 'crap' even if you wanted to tell us you are knowledgeable about the Arts.

Even a fo0l knows that once Cameras are set, there is no longer reality and the best the Producers of movies can do is to try and play out a real scenario or a fiction.

It is so sad to note that you couldn't decipher the true meaning of what your Lecturer meant by what you quoted. Art isn't a Reality simply because it has been planned for, this does not mean to say that Reality cannot be found in Arts.

I just clicked on your profile and scanned through your threads. I must confess that you are a disgrace to the Lecturer you quoted and the Four Walls that produced you.

I don't know whether to be amused or amazed at some responses here. For the record

1) I was in no way trying to paint a picture of Nollywood and Hollywood being on equal terms. Or even, worse, that Nollywood is better. I was just trying to show that Hollywood can sometimes be as predictable as Nollywood. Sure the acting and quality of production and pretty much everything else is better but I just wanted to show how Hollywod is imperfect just like Nollywood and be a bit funny while at it. Wonder why it got some people all wound up the wrong way

2) For those talking fiction or non fiction, well who says I don't know it's supposed to be fiction? But isn't it also you guys that always complain about Nollywood being unrealistic eg the ghosts looking left and right before crossing the road. Why not take it as "fiction" too, instead of complaining about it?

3) I wasn't expecting this post to be taken this serious! Obviously, ASUU really have to get students back to school; people are vexing!!!

Kaycee7: While the Op's piece is very viable and educative, I don't think it should be demeaned by calling it funny. It should be welcome to critiscism.
My kobos:
1.I don't know when last you watched a recent movie but the 1 vs 100 stuff isn't so popular anymore. The action sequences are more realistic than before both in situation and execution.
2. I think sometimes rules are really broken in reality for the greater good.
3. Romantic fiction has always been unbelievable.
4. Valid. Still happens.
5.Not A fan of horror.
Tensa Zangetsu + Doujin Hyohinmaru.

Daiguren Hyourinamru

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

Daiguren Hyourinamru

Thanks. Haven't really had a chance to watch bleach.

s4short:

if d comparison is based on just d 3 qualities u av written then they can be compared on being fake nollywood is far more down to earth and non-fictional than Hollywood movies whose main selling point is fiction, on predictability, depending on d one ur used to watching, those who claim they can tell d end of a nollywood movie from d poster stopped watching dem yrs ago, on annoying both movie worlds av very annoying movies. Forget wateva u guys want to say, d major reason y we fail to appreciate our movies is xenocentrism

Wah are u even sayin, dat hollwood is more predictable dan nollywood? In nollywood you can jst select few reasonable movies like kunle afolayan's and few odas dat are well done... D fact is jst dat while hollywood directors are after fame and award to b won by d movie, nollywood directors are after d money safe few, buh dey forget dat fame brings d money even more
And also talking about fiction, abeg is fiction not meant to b part of a movie or a book, if u are acting non fictional movies den do it well, more over hollywood av thousands of non fictional movies too u shld go watch dem

senbonzakura_kageyoshi: 3)Winning A Girls Heart…..Through The Power Of Dance!: Okay, I know, the Indians are more guilty of this than Hollywood but then they do this in pretty much every dance movie there is. Trodden down poor boy meets classy school girl in high school/college and somehow, she manages to always get attracted to him the first time they lock eyes. However, she just can’t leave her big jerk of a boyfriend……until the good guy shows he can bust a move! He dances his way into her heart, she leaves her jerko boyfriend and they dance their way into the happily ever after that is the end credits.

In reality: The girl would swear never to date him for embarrassing her in public. I mean, ladies, how many of you want that guy that has been tripping for you to just suddenly come bust a move outside your father’s compound? As against, I don’t know, a movie at the Galleria, shopping at Shoprite or even just buying you recharge card?

Why Nollywood can’t pull it off: Just imagine Ramsey Nouah droppig it like its hot before Ini Edo! The amount of aboniki they would need to massage his body after every scene would set the aboniki guys up for life!

4)Bad guy always has the upper hand, then practically throws it away: Have you noticed how so many times, the bad guy juuuust happens to have the good guy in a tight corner….then does something stupid…..like FAILING TO SHOOT THE GODDAMN GOOD GUY AFTER POINTING A GUN AT HIM FOR, I DUNNO, FIVE HOURS? Why is it that it is right when they have the chance to put the good guy out of the misery of acting another part of the movie for good, that’s when the bad guy decides to tell us his entire life story while the good guy figures out how to free himself with one toothpick and a piece of thread. Are they shitting us in Hollywood?

Why Nollywood can’t make it work: Well, Emeka Ani can hardly have time to start talking about he wanted to kill Kanayo O. Kanayo all along while a pastor is praying over him while sprinkling holy water over his head and lightning is flashing and his coven is falling apart. But just imagine Emeka Enyiocha with a gun pointed at Nonso Diobi who is trying to cut through the rope binding him with a blunt fork. Comedy central material!

5)The haunted guys find out how to kill the monster only after there are two of them left: I love horror movies. I watched loads and loads of horror movies, and one thing I’ve learnt from them is that it is practically impossible to kill a monster/ghost/zombie/vampire/werewolf unless there are just say two or three out of like 10 or 20 people left. Oh, I also learnt that the black guys usually die first or second but that’s not such an important lesson. Whatever happened to two heads being better than one. And when you have ten heads that get wiped out one after the other till there are only two, shouldn’t it follow that the remaining two just commit suicide to save themselves having to get killed by said monster? But no, it is only after their compadri have died do they figure out that the monster’s weakness is water, or cocaine (as in that Elijah Wood movie, can’t remember the name) or hair relaxer (Evolution) or some such silly thing like that. If that where the case, if i meet a horrible looking thing, I will bust out all the hard drugs I have and hope it kills the thing instead of getting it high and it then goes apeshit on me.

Why Nollywood can’t pull it off: Why wait till you’re all dead when there is a pastor around the corner? After having consulted everybody and everything, pastor is the sure cure to all things that tie red wrappers, fly at night or shoot bright lights from their hands while you hear a sound like someone farted under water. In fact, I think Nollywood has been smarter on this one!

http://zakuraweekly.com/five-ways-hollywood-movies-are-as-bad-as-nollywood-movies/

I believe you are referring to "Faculty"......You got me cracking up man

KickAss 2 is out!!
Dave a.k.a kick-a** and Hit-girl r recruiting more super-heroes while RedMist a.k.a MotherF**ker is building an evil army. Guys,this film sweet pass jolof rice.

Lol.. Funny post. Nigeria's poor economic situation has killed the sense of humour in many of her citizens though. The intent of the poster is for us to read, laugh and comment or read halfway and pass if it doesn't trip you that's all. Having said that, one thing I can't seem to wrap my head around in hollywood movies is a guy/babe, usually a new coach/teacher/mentor or whatever coming to pickup a bunch of unserious kids who barely know how to bounce/kick a ball or dance/sing, etc and within a short period of time turns them into state/National champions of whatever competition they participate in after competing with kids that have been preparing for such contest all their life. If na so life be ehn, naija for don win world cup 5 times.. Lol.

I hate steven seagal's movies

I had to stop watching any movie with stephen siegal as the hero. That guy will ‎​be beat a zillion bad guys without as much as breaking a sweat, his shirt never gets dirty. Haba!

looder:

And why is it tht d main character(male) in hollywood movies is ALWAYS named jack! Thinking about it?...I'll wait

Because Jack happens to be one of the commonest name in America.
Hollywood films are always realistic unless you're talking about Sci Fi because they take time to predict the human response to events.
You don't see people smiling when they should be crying or just crying unnecessarily like in Nigeria movies.
Steven Seagal holds a belt in a format of taekwando and some of the so called impossible things are done by stunt makers so what you think is impossible at times are just the really crazy things done by the stunt makers.

afmag hausa is the best

ohaleoghene: And again , when movies are base on real life situation , you see something like 'base on true life story ''in such movies , you do not see the actors flying . Check out hotel Rwanda , blood and oil ,and many more true life stories base movies , no fantasy is involved . While op you see all of that in movies because they are fiction , a figment of the writer's imagination. Have you ever wonder why kids and some adults (I so love cartoons) lovs cartoons so much ? Is because in reality those tiny stuff can't talk . Pls no let one American person see this your analysis he go laugh naija o ..please read before trying to convince people into believing in same thing with you .

I think You're d only one making sense here,
This movies are just imaginations of d writer
And that's why its called fiction,

And you can hardly predict hollywood movies!
Yes you know that they will fall in love, what about the events that led to there falling in love,,,,

@op pls don't mislead pple

naturalwaves:

You don't have to tag the write up as a 'crap' even if you wanted to tell us you are knowledgeable about the Arts.

Even a fo0l knows that once Cameras are set, there is no longer reality and the best the Producers of movies can do is to try and play out a real scenario or a fiction.

It is so sad to note that you couldn't decipher the true meaning of what your Lecturer meant by what you quoted. Art isn't a Reality simply because it has been planned for, this does not mean to say that Reality cannot be found in Arts.

I just clicked on your profile and scanned through your threads. I must confess that you are a disgrace to the Lecturer you quoted and the Four Walls that produced you.

u re trying to prove ur brilliancy by condemning someone this far.. she ve only written her part of the story write ur own nd stop proving bravo here...

Abbey2sam:

I think You're d only one making sense here,
This movies are just imaginations of d writer
And that's why its called fiction,

And you can hardly predict hollywood movies!
Yes you know that they will fall in love, what about the events that led to there falling in love,,,,

@op pls don't mislead pple

Don't be a schmuck

kokoA: Lol.. Funny post. Nigeria's poor economic situation has killed the sense of humour in many of her citizens though. The intent of the poster is for us to read, laugh and comment or read halfway and pass if it doesn't trip you that's all. Having said that, one thing I can't seem to wrap my head around in hollywood movies is a guy/babe, usually a new coach/teacher/mentor or whatever coming to pickup a bunch of unserious kids who barely know how to bounce/kick a ball or dance/sing, etc and within a short period of time turns them into state/National champions of whatever competition they participate in after competing with kids that have been preparing for such contest all their life. If na so life be ehn, naija for don win world cup 5 times.. Lol.

As in ehn!!! Seriously, it seems like acccordind to a Hollywood movie, the time it takes to move from complete losers utter awesomeness is the time it takes for the montage to finish playin...which is usually 1-2 minutes!!! lolz!!!

Hilarious!

chess guru:
Hehehe dem dey wait for dia turn nah
But seriously though. I feel in real life, fight in those days had some sort of code of ethics for the ancient chinese
Also, 10 people swinging swords wildly @ one target makes them more likely 2 hurt themselves as well as their target, so I guess it makes more sense for them to attack one by one , or two by two

hmmm.....dat makes sense

mrlaw93: u re trying to prove ur brilliancy by condemning someone this far.. she ve only written her part of the story write ur own nd stop proving bravo here...

Is that how to write up one's part of the story? Is that how to air one's view in such a proud and disrespectful manner? She didn't even understand what she quoted because by her argument, there is no iota of reality in Arts and we should see and take everything we see as a fiction that is impossible in real life except for those that we have been noted that,"This is based on true life events". Is that totally correct? NO. Any movie that tells a past story like Hotel Rwanda that she said is real because it has happened but it is not also real because, it is not happening and no matter how hard the Producers tend to write about the past, they cannot get an accurate picture of it. So, the fact that a movie is based on an event that has not occured does not mean that there can't be realism in it and that is why some researches are always carried out to make some as real as possible.I think she should go back to her Lecturer for more explanations.

imperiouxx: 6) A big jumbo jet ran on runway for over 12 to 18 minutes. I guess that particular airfield runs through many states.

Reference: Fast and furious 6, the last showdown scenes.

Re-calculating the distance covered by that jet at that speed, it's like a plane running from International Airport, Lagos to Abeokuta on a straight runway without turning..... That scene sucks!

Though, I still stick with Hollywood ONLY.

First of all it was a bridge not a runway and i think it was a newly constructed bridge that had not been commissioned, the bad guy was trying to avoid the police, army and securty officials so decided to use that bridge.

Yomieluv: forget white man mentality,i prefer to watch the baddest hollywood,than the best nollywood....how do you explain a ghost looking right,and left before crossing a road,and a guy being shot inside a car,and the windshield didnt break,and the guy died.or few year later,and omotola still wears the same hairdo,or Genevive wakes up from bed with makeup....huck.

Or when a man shoots himself thrice on the head! amazing naija..

Guy u must be watching too much of jetli movies.

gist4real: I had to stop watching any movie with stephen siegal as the hero. That guy will ‎​be beat a zillion bad guys without as much as breaking a sweat, his shirt never gets dirty. Haba!

My guy that is so true....i mean how can one guy with a little pot belly and no physical fitness beat up guys who are younger and stronger than him without even touching a strand of his hair. Till tomorrow i love jackie chan's movies because it's more realistic...as experienced as J.C is in martial arts he still gets beat up and also uses the aide of objects to defeat his enemies which makes a whole lot of sense.

Jordanmusa: Hilarious!

Thank You!!!!

@S.K...you are really funny, taking out time to write all the flaws of hollywood but it's really interesting though. The truth is we humans love to be lied to even when we know we're being lied to and the whole idea is about entertainment (or isn't that what it's called "Entertainment Industry"). The things they do are all for fun and not to be taken seriously and infact very dangerous too in real scenerios that's why in wrestling viewers are warned not to try what they see at home.
In respect to Nollywood i believe if our government backs the industry the way the US does then we may be able to attain that level as well...but let's not forget the fact that they are way ahead of us in technology and advancement. Entertainment Industry is a viable business for them so they put so much effort into it.

So Funny and Funky.

No matter how you look at Commando, Rambo or Die Hard, they have a very good storyline. Film editors knows when how to prevent a story dragging and becoming boring thats why they cut some scenes out before it goes to the cinema. With Nollywood I loose interest the moment it starts asking me to insert disc 2. I will rather watch a plane trying to spend 12 minutes to take off, than watching a guy in an car, with a headphone and microphone over his head trying to mug us as if he is about to take off in an helicopter (China made Toy helicopter)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AE1PTAfRms

Watch my movie and tell me if it's Hollywood......


This is an awesome music video produced to entertain, motivate and thrill your mind, it's full of stunts! watch it.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjSDCrAVvLM&g­

baby-boy:
No matter how you look at Commando, Rambo or Die Hard, they have a very good storyline. Film editors knows when how to prevent a story dragging and becoming boring thats why they cut some scenes out before it goes to the cinema. With Nollywood I loose interest the moment it starts asking me to insert disc 2. I will rather watch a plane trying to spend 12 minutes to take off, than watching a guy in an car, with a headphone and microphone over his head trying to mug us as if he is about to take off in an helicopter (China made Toy helicopter)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AE1PTAfRms

what the......is that an actual movie?!!!!!!! is someone sh*ting me or what?!!!!

Bros with your special permission, I beg to repost this video!!!!

Nice and humorous write up Senbonzakura. Sadly some folks failed to read between the lines and get your point. I've always said the problem with Nollywood storylines is not exactly predictability, but how the plot plays out. Its the boring scenes with crappy dialogue that lends nothing to the story that irritates me. Even if oga pastor will come and save the day, engage us from scene to scene first now. We can then at least say good movie but the ending was crappy.