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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego (1487263 Views)
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:57pm On Sep 04, 2014 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:15am On Sep 06, 2014 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:22am On Sep 07, 2014 |
A church sister and I were on our way back home from a crusade when our car broke down. We were unable to get it fixed. We then decided to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town had only one room available. I said to her; Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under this circumstances, if we spend the night together in this one room. I will sleep on the lounge and you will have the bed. She said; Brother Ofego, I think that would be okay. We prepared for bed and took our agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later, she said; Brother Ofego, I'm terribly cold. I said; Okay, I will get you a blanket. I brought it and gave it to her. Ten minutes later, she said; Brother Ofego, I'm still terribly cold. I said; Okay Sister, I will get you another blanket. I brought it and gave it to her. Ten minutes later, she said; Brother Ofego, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we act as man and wife just for this one night. I said; You are right. Get up and get your own blanket. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by ALISMILE(m): 3:51pm On Sep 07, 2014 |
E get one particular restaurant wey I dey chop 4 G.R.A. E get one oyinbo wey dey always come chop there too…Anytime dis oyinbo chop finish, he go shout ”Hey”, so I wonder wetin dey make am shout.I decided to chop wetin d oyinbo dey always chop so maybe me sef go shout too. When I reach d restaurant yesterday evening, I order wetin d man dey chop.Dem tell me say na chicken & red wine, so i chop am, but i no shout, I collect extra plate, but i no still shout. I say dis oyinbo na mumu o, why e dey always shout like dat now?Na then i just vex ask 4 my bill. The waiter tell me say one plate of chicken & red wine naN75,000then d extra plate too na anotherN75,000. Na then I shout hey! heyy!! heyyy!!! ……!!!! heyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyy… ……..I still dey shout till now. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:30am On Sep 08, 2014 |
Women And Promises --------------- ------------ I sent a text message to My wife in the night; Hi honey! I will get back home late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favourite food before I come back. There was no reply. I then Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/women-and-promises.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:35am On Sep 08, 2014 |
Ngozi My Ex --------------- ------------ I was in a restaurant when my phone rang. I picked it up; Hello! Who is this? The voice said; Ofego it's me Ngozi your ex. You just forgot about me shey, no calls, no texts! I cut in; No Ngozi, how can you say that, is you that forgot about me na, have you forgotten that you were the one that dumped me?. She said; Hmm that's that, Ofego you are enjoying o. I concurred; Yes o Ngozi. I am on BB now. She yelled; You don't mean it. I want to be on BB like you. I said; Hmm Okay. She continued; Ofego today is my birthday, what will you buy for me. I exclaimed; You Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/ngozi-my-ex_7.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:44am On Sep 08, 2014 |
Ofego Writes On One Of The Great Difference Between A Nigerian Guy An An American Guy Using ATM At Midnight --------------- ------------ This is one of the great difference between a Nigerian guy and an American guy using the ATM at midnight. Let us first take a look on how an American guy uses the ATM at midnight; The American guy drives his car towards the ATM machine, and he gets down, leaving his car key on the ignition, picks up his ATM card and walks down to the ATM machine whistling (attracting hears) then he inserts his ATM card into the machine and types the amount he wants to collect still whistling, then he withdraws the money and walks to his car, counting the money as he walks. He hops in and zooms off! But when the Nigerian guy wants to withdraw some money from the ATM at Midnight, he drives towards the ATM machine, stops for a while, then he observe the Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/one-of-great-difference-between_7.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:31am On Sep 08, 2014 |
My uncle's wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband my uncle opening the front door. She said; Hurry! Stand in the corner. She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and dusted him with white powder. She whispered; Don't move until I tell you to. Just pretend you are a statue. My uncle walked in and asked; What is this, honey? She replied; Oh, it's just a statue, The Umukoro's bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too. Later that night when they went to sleep, around two in the morning my uncle got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with an apple and a glass of milk. He said to the statue; Here! Eat something! I stood like a statue at the Umukoro's for three days and nobody offered me anything, not even a glass of water. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 3:38pm On Sep 08, 2014 |
Two fake Port Harcourt "big babes" (see full picture after the cut) were recently stripped n*ked and molested by guys for allegedly stealing clothes from a popular boutique in Port Harcourt. All in a bid to "meet up" with the fake social status they have carved out for themselves. See what their desperation have turned them into. Foolish girls! How sad! See the full uncensored photos after the cut... - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/photos-port-harcourt-big-babes-strip.html#sthash.cLXpry7S.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by ezacon: 4:25pm On Sep 08, 2014 |
1.} Kissing is a dirty act. Just one kiss with tongue can transmit up to 278 types of bacteria. 2.} Sensitivity of the lips is 200 times higher than that of the fingers. 3.} Kissing at the conclusion of a wedding ceremony can be traced to ancient Roman tradition where a kiss was used to sign contract...AMAZING FACTS visit www.ladieswinds.com to know more facts about health remember good health good life. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:35am On Sep 09, 2014 |
theodoxus:Insist too, to balance the equation. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:15am On Sep 09, 2014 |
My Wife And I Playing With Nigerian Politicians --------------- ------------ I said to My wife; I'm GEJ. She said to Me; You are kidding. Our President is GEJ (Goodluck Ebele Jonathan). I said; I mean I'm GEJ - GOING on EMERGENCY JOURNEY! She smiled; Oh! You are not serious! What kind of journey are you going on? I replied; OBJ. My wife asked; To meet Obasanjo? I said; No. It means ON a BUSINESS JOURNEY. She exclaimed; Oh! I then said; IBB. She asked; Babangida? I said; I'LL BE BACK. She smiled. I said to her; Till then, I'll APC. She asked; You want to join politics? I said; I mean I will ALWAYS give you a PHONE CALL. She quipped; Hmmm! I said to her; While I am away, PDP with our love. She said; What? I said; PLEASE DON'T PLAY with our love. She replied Me; You know I won't. I'll BRF. I said to her; What has Lagos State Governor got to do with all this? She smiled; I'll BE RIGHTEOUS and FAITHFUL! I said to her; I trust you. She said to Me; FOOL! I was shocked and exclaimed; What? She Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/09/my-wife-and-i-playing-with-nigerian_7.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:00am On Sep 09, 2014 |
Proof That Women Are Indeed Wiser Than Men --------------- ------------ So I have been asking myself this question, between man and woman who is more wiser? I hadn't got any answer until yesterday. Let's get to how I arrived at this answer. It all happened like this, two weeks ago my mother came visiting in my lodge in school. I school in Delta state poly. My mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful my roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between me and my roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching my roommate and I interact, she started to wonder if there was more between me and my roommate. Reading my mum's thoughts, I Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/proof-that-women-are-indeed-wiser-than.html?m=1 2 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 12:29pm On Sep 09, 2014 |
Singer Omawumi has never shared a photo of his fiance, Tosin Yusuf on social media since she got involved with he and had a baby with him. She shared some pics of her daughter, but they were usually pics from the back or side, you will hardly see her face. But after getting engaged yesterday September 8, guess Omawumi is now comfortable to show the world her family. She posted the pic above and wrote; - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/omawumi-finally-shares-photo-of-her.html#sthash.ydTMoNwq.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:18am On Sep 10, 2014 |
Nigerian Government And My Family Wellness --------------- ------------ My wife and I were watching news on T.V when a government special announcement was made. It said; Any family with five children should come along with them to Government House Asaba and collect five million naira. I said to my wife; Honey, take care of this our three children, I have two children outside this marriage, let me go and get them. I went and Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/nigerian-government-and-my-family.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:24am On Sep 10, 2014 |
I was driving across the street when I spotted a mob beating a guy who apparently was a thief. Everybody was dishing out blows, even kids. I stopped my car and headed straight to the scene. I pulled my jacket. With my shirt and tie, I entered the mob and landed a heavy slap on the thief's left eye. As soon as I slapped him, the thief started talking; I will confess o, I will confess. The mob chanted; Confess! Thief! Leave him, let him confess. Everybody stopped beating him. The thief pointed at me and shouted; Look! This man here is my boss. He is the one that send us everyday. The thief did not finish talking when all the beatings were transferred to Me. My face became swollen. Blood was oozing all over me and I fell down. The thief shouted again; It's a lie o. I don't know him. It's a mistaken identity. The thief then turned to Me and whispered; Idiot! Next time mind your business. Did I come to steal your thing? 3 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:25am On Sep 10, 2014 |
How A Judge In An Election Tribunal Was Exposed By My Uncle --------------- ------------ In an election tribunal holding in our state, Delta state after the last Isoko north local government chairmanship election in the court room the prosecuting lawyer attacked a witness who happened to be my uncle. ''Isn't it true'', the prosecuting lawyer yelled at my uncle, '' that you accepted one million naira to compromise this case? My uncle stared at the window as if Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/how-judge-in-election-tribunal-was.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:29am On Sep 10, 2014 |
Every Girl Should Learn From This --------------- ------------ I had been dating this particular girl for quite sometime now until recently she messed up, humiliated and gave me the disgrace of my life. She is an undergraduate in one of the public universities' in Nigeria studying mass comm. What transpired between us was that last month, she informed me that her birthday would be coming up this month, which is on the 7th, last sunday precisely. And she asked me what i would buy for her. I assured her that I would surprise her, not knowing that Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/every-girl-should-learn-from-this.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:40am On Sep 10, 2014 |
Warri Ofego Episode One --------------- ------------ Ofego was walking on the roadside talking to himself and laughing when a car suddenly pulled over in front of him and two men rushed out and grabbed him into the car and sped off. Ofego cried out in the car as it drove; Wetin i do, wetin i do, where una dey waylay me go? One of the men trying to hold his mouth shouted; Shut up! The second man barked Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-one.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 9:12am On Sep 10, 2014 |
Singer Iyanya and his manager Ubi Franklin flew a private jet to a 'private location' and shared pictures on social media. These guys knows how to chop money! Big boys doing their thing in a big boy way. See more photos after the cut - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/big-boy-things-iyanya-and-his-manager.html#sthash.u9oTNjQq.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 9:20am On Sep 10, 2014 |
According to a BBC Africa report. son of former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Adeboye Obasanjo who suffered gunshot injuries September 8th after his platoon was attacked by Boko Haram men in Baza, Adamawa state is said to be in stable condition after being treated in hospital. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/obasanjos-son-in-stable-condition-after.html#sthash.NnXiuWMn.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by exellent91(m): 11:45am On Sep 10, 2014 |
Go to this website ralpheme. for free hollywood download,wwe and so on. first ten to begin a thread and follow the website will be used as admins |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 6:24pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Legendary singer Diana Ross is worth over $500m and she'll do anything to protect it. Her youngest son, Evan Ross, 26, married Ashley Simpson, 29, on Aug. 30th and according to reports, Evan had been planning to marry Ashley without a pre-nup...that's until his mother heard about his plans. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/single-diana-ross-forces-son-to-get.html#sthash.09qdWusv.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 6:25pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
The House of Representatives want the September 22nd school resumption date for private and public primary/secondary changed. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/house-of-reps-want-sept-22-schools.html#sthash.LsRVVHJT.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 6:28pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Lagos State Government has said it will prosecute any person, group or organization that stigmatizes a patient who has been treated of Ebola and certified free from the virus http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/ebola-lagos-govt-to-prosecute-cases-of.html#more |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 6:29pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
For those who can not do without chewing one a day, be prepared to do without "kpomo" as the Federal Government is set to ban the sale and consumption of Kpomo - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/#sthash.CvLpgylW.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 6:31pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
Koko Florence Mayen, the first daughter of Senator Florence Ita-Giwa, is getting married on Sept. 13th (traditional wedding) and Sept. 20th (white wedding) to her heartthrob Chimaobi Shawcross Obioha Jnr and according to Encomium magazine, the millionaire businesswoman is planning the wedding of the year that will cost millions of Naira. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/inside-exotic-wedding-of-senator.html#more |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 7:47pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
A lecturer in one of the federal university in the South West was recently caught on camera having s*x with a female student in his office. According to the gist, the female student, who is in her final year, failed a course and she was asked by the Lecturer to pay N50,000 to get her scores upgraded. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/busted-lecturer-caught-on-camera-with.html#sthash.WcWfvEnt.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by onoshenry(m): 7:49pm On Sep 10, 2014 |
A week ago, we reported how some guy came out to say he is still legally married to Matt Max' new wife (See that here). If I tried to explain what people claim is going on between popular music video director Matt Max and his new wife, make-up artist Eniola Efunkoya of Awele Beauty, most of you won't understand. - See more at: http://naija-gist..com/2014/09/matt-max-reaffirms-his-love-for-his-new.html#sthash.DFHP7sI2.dpuf |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:40am On Sep 11, 2014 |
Should He Accept Her Back When She Came Back With This --------------- ------------ A friend of mine was deeply in love with this girl. The love he felt for her was inseparable, and he felt she loved him too cause he saw it, in her eyes. While the love was growing, he was invited for a show in London. She told him not to go. But he had to, and he went. It was a tower around europe for six months and London was to be the final stop before he would come back home. While he was there, he called her on phone from time to time to check on her. Sadly, while he was still there, she had an accident and died. My guy was still communicating with her on phone. I was shocked when i heard this. When my guy returned, he Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/should-he-accept-her-back-when-she-came.html?m=1 |
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