Even Dead Bodies Can't Stand Being Flogged
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My elder brother stopped a bike. The bike man asked him where he was going. He said mortuary! Sorry, it is late, I can't take you there unless you will pay me 500 Naira. The bike man said. My brother agreed and told the bike man that when they get there he will be paid. When they got to the mortuary, my brother told the bike man to wait outside that he wants to go inside the mortuary to get his money for him. The bike man

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/even-dead-bodies-cant-stand-being.html?m=1

London Fever Brings Down My Brother
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So leaving me, our old mother and pet dog behind, my immediate elder brother travelled to London. Its been six months since he left. Yesterday he called to know how we are doing, Hello Ofego how are you doing? How is Mama and Suspect the dog? He asked. I replied; Suspect the dog is Dead! He paused. . . . and said; Ofego bad news is not revealed that way. You should have started by saying

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/london-fever-brings-down-my-brother.html?m=1

Warri Ofego Episode Twenty
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Ofego stood and stared at a woman frying akara at the other side of the road. He thought; This woman will have money o. What I don't know is where she keeps them. I must find out. I want to help her spend her money. Let me go. In the night I'll come back to withdraw her money and help her spend them. I must get those provisions for that stupid boy Onos. I don't want to be charged to court for child labour. Madam tonight is the night. I am coming to buy from you, not your akara but your money. Ofego said walking away. Later that night,

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/warri-ofego-episode-twenty.html?m=1

The Nigeria I Saw In A Nightmare
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I wanted to go to bed but had to eat something. I opened fridge, all the things in the fridge had turned to block, the light had been on for two years without going off. I finished eating and went to bed. While in bed, I realised I have to reduce the speed of the fan, the voltage is too high. I woke up in the early hours of the morning to the sound of cool music. I got up and went into the bathroom. The cold is too much this morning, I realised and turned on the hot- water tap. While drying myself with my towel, I put on the radio and heard

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/the-nigeria-i-saw-in-nightmare.html?m=1

How The Nigerian Police Is Related To Stop And Search
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Nigerian Police! Hmm! So I thought it's time to write about them. There is one thing I like about them, they are our friend. A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Will you see your friend suffering under a hot sun and not help out? Certainly no! This is the mindset of the Nigerian police, which should apply to us, lol. So why did I decide to write about the Nigerian police today? Why because, their stop and search many a times is something else. I'm not saying is bad but, they abuses it sometimes. Sometimes, this stop and search is just to delay you to let go off ''something for the boys'' yesterday, some

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-nigerian-police-is-related-to-stop.html?m=1

Marketer Lands Himself In Trouble In My House
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I was at home yesterday afternoon and heard a knock on my door. I answered it only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying an electric vacuum cleaner. Good morning sir, he said, can I borrow your time? I would like to demonstrate and show you the latest high powered electric vacuum cleaners in town. Go! I don't have money to buy, I am with nothing at the moment, I told him and tried pushing him out. He

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/marketer-lands-himself-in-trouble-in-my.html?m=1

When I Bought My First Radio
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I was a kid, 15 or thereabout, when I bought the first radio I had in my life. An Aboki sold it to me. When I got home I switched on the radio and it talked for two hours then I told it; For the whole day you have been talking, your throat must be dry and thirsty. I then ran to Mama Nkechi's place and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/when-i-bought-my-first-radio.html?m=1

How Girls Con Men But End Up Regretting
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Some are lucky, some are not. Some succeed, some don't. Some get away with it, some take it along. So it is, about girls conning men. They are fond of doing it around men most especially when in distress in an examination hall. Not all girls do it sha. They'll just look at you seductively and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-girls-con-men-but-end-up-regretting.html?m=1

English Destroys Matrimonial Home
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My wife travelled to see her people. I missed her so much that I realised our matrimonial bed was too big for only me to sleep. I then decided to sleep on the chair at the parlour, dinning table and sometimes in the rest room, children's room and the guest room. When my wife came back, she

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/english-destroys-matrimonial-home.html?m=1

Hungry Nigerian Lion Devours Politician
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A politician, names witheld, on the 16th of september this year, travelled to America to spend his annual vacation with his friend who lives there. On arrival, the friend took him out to see places. The last place he took him to, was the zoo. In the zoo, they visited the lions' cage. Suddenly,

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/hungry-nigerian-lion-devours-politician.html?m=1

Warri Ofego Episode Twenty-One
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Ofego walked into a bush path and started thinking; Look at how I have suffered in Warri. This money for Onos' provisions I must get it. When I've gotten it and bought them and Onos' gets well, I'll just retire from that stupid teaching job and go back home so that Warri will not eradicate me. See me seeing John Cena asking me in my dreams if I can see him. Warri has really dealt with me. Let me just get this money and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/warri-ofego-episode-twenty-one.html?m=1

Friend Deceives Me To Eat The Forbidden Fruit
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How could he do this to me? I trusted him! And he paid me back with this. What a world of betrayal. Yesterday evening I was bored at home cause my wife has travelled to see her father, so I paid a visit to my friend who I hadn't seen for sometime. When I got there, him and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/friend-deceives-me-to-eat-forbidden.html?m=1

Solution To Family Happiness Wrecks Family
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Chai! A family that was brought up by two hands, brought down by one hand just like that. Because of one flimpsy excuse, bedroom affairs error. My uncle's wife went to a doctor and told him her husband is no more interested in love making. See the gist o, the doctor gave her some pills to give to him. That everyday, she should put one pill in his tea. She did, and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/solution-to-family-happiness-wrecks.html?m=1

How I Escaped Death Sentence From This Man
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I worked as a shop attendant in a shop. The shop sold fruits only in full basket. A huge man came and wanted to buy half basket of fruits. I tried to explain to him that we only sell full baskets, but he looked at me angrily and I quickly stopped explaining to him for fear of being beaten up by him. I told him to wait a few minutes for me to

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-i-escaped-death-sentence-from-this.html?m=1

Animals In Ewherukowharien Forest Warri Booked My Manhood For Lunch
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I was bored at home that morning and decided to follow my hunter friend Oki on a hunting trip faraway in the forest of Ewherukowharien in Warri where it was said that some of our ancestors who violated the land by bathing naked in the rain like little kids where buried alive. It was my first time of going hunting. Oki has been hunting since I know him. When we reached the middle of the forest, Oki

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/animals-in-ewherukowharien-forest-warri.html?m=1

Man Gets Confirmation From Me That He's About To Go Mad
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I was sitting on a bench outside a chemist store when a man walked into the chemist and complained, his head and stomach were paining him. I rushed into the store and asked him, Sir, is it paining you well well? He looked at me and

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/man-gets-confirmation-from-me-that-hes.html?m=1

They've Found Out That I Only Come To Church When They Are Sharing Food
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Two sundays ago was our student thanksgiving in church. After the service, I was coming out from church about going home when pastor sighted me and called me back. He

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/theyve-found-out-that-i-only-come-to_11.html?m=1

How To Woo That Pastor's Daughter You Like
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I'm currently dating a pastor's daughter, and I'm settling down with this one o, not because she's from a man of God's house o, but because I know how I got her and what I went through in getting her. O boy, I am now a bible scholar because of this fine girl o. She was just too beautiful to ignore just like that. All my friends I seeked help from then, does not how to woo a pastor's daughter, they were professional olodo in that aspect. I had to figure this out by myself after meditating, researching and decoding on myself for days like an historian. Armed to the teeth, with my manual which I had possessed and about to approach her. My mind told me she must accept me with what I had aquired. I then approached her with

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/how-to-woo-that-pastors-daughter-you.html?m=1

The Insane Mr Nigeria
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I was no longer enjoying Becky's spot food for lunch, so I decided to change restaurant. D'RAJ, a new restaurant in town came to my mind. A friend told me their food is sweeter than Becky's spot so I went there with my Jeep that has 4 x 4 written on it to take lunch. After eating, I came out and saw that a mad man who is popularly known as Mr Nigeria in the area had

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/the-insane-mr-nigeria.html?m=1

I like it when children, especially girls, obey their mothers to the letters. Check this out.

A Naija mother asks her daughter "AMAKA",
How did U get pregnant? I told u if a man or guy
touches ur breast say "DON'T" if he touches ur private
part say "STOP"!.... The girl says yes mama I did, but he was touching both at the same time, & I said.
"DON'T STOP" lol______

Man Changes Mind To Rob House He Was Meant To Visit
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My wife told me we were having a visitor that day, her mother's friend's son who just came back from the states. So I had to prepare myself and she kept the house in order. We waited for this august visitor all through that saturday but he didn't show up. Later that night, as my wife was about to lock the door for us to go to bed, someone

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/man-changes-mind-to-rob-house-he-was.html?m=1

The Good Wife Every Bad Man Deserves
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I came home last night drunk, vomitted and fell down on the floor. My wife pulled me to the bedroom and cleaned everything. This morning as I got up, I was expecting her to be angry with me. I prayed that we would not have a fight. To my greatest surprise, I saw

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/the-good-wife-every-bad-man-deserves.html?m=1

Old Man Ends Up Badly For Rejecting God's Help
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So this my neighbour Papa Nkechi was alone working on a crane. Suddenly, he slipped off. As he was falling, he held on to a branch and started shouting for help, but no one came. At the point of giving up he said; God please help me, I will listen to you as from today. A voice started calling his name. He

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/old-man-ends-up-badly-for-rejecting.html?m=1

I Did Not Disrespect My Teacher I gave Her What She Asked For, The Truth
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Ever since the incident, people have been telling me that I fell my hand. How did I fall my hand when she was the one that asked for my opinion. See me see trouble o. We were in class o. She then asked a chubby boy that seats in front; Efe, which country would you love to go when you grow up? He

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/i-did-not-disrespect-my-teacher-i-gave.html?m=1

Evil Comedian Episode 1
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Mama he has finished me o. I am about to be deleted from this world. Ofego cried. Blood was rushing out from his right hand. Who did this to you? Mama rushed out, rushing him into the house instead of the hospital. Who did this to you? She asked. Mummy it is that good for nothing Nfelo, the one with the big head. Ofego said with tears in his eyes. You mean the one that is my son? Mama asked. Yes! It is that one. Ofego cried and added, but Mama you should not have being asking me who did this to me now na. You

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/evil-comedian-episode-1.html?m=1

Do This And Your Girlfriend Will Call You Back After She Refused Picking Your Calls
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She is not picking your calls. Don't bother yourself my guy, just cool down and follow this steps that I'm about to show you and she will pick your call and even call you back when she sees your missed call.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/do-this-and-your-girlfriend-will-call.html?m=1

My Wife Poses As My Girlfriend And Catches Me
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She bought a new sim card and puts it on her phone. She then decided to surprise me. I was sitting on the long chair in the parlour watching a premier league game. She

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/my-wife-poses-as-my-girlfriend-and.html?m=1

I'm Filing For Divorce My Wife Called My Mother A Goat
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We were arguing last night, I told her women are goats. All women are goats! This morning, as we were going out,

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/im-filing-for-divorce-my-wife-called-my.html?m=1

Lecturer Gets Me Insulting Him And Gives Me The Go Ahead To Continue
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A Lecturer in my school had gotten on my nerve for giving me two straight carry overs In his courses he took us in my first semester in the school and second semester. I decided to paint his name bad in the school. I

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/lecturer-gets-me-insulting-him-and.html?m=1

Robber Mistakenly Submits Himself To The Police While Robbing
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Boku is his name, he is my neighbour. He tried robbing a house. As he starts to unlock the door, the police patrolling that night

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/robber-mistakenly-submits-himself-to.html?m=1

New Wife Orders Husband And Family Around
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Over the weekend I was at my uncle's place in Ikeja welcoming his newly wedded wife in our traditional manner. I was shocked with what this new wife spitted out of her mouth when

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/new-wife-orders-husband-and-family.html?m=1

Abuja Big Girl Swindles Me
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Beware of Abuja girls, the saying goes, but I was blind to it that day, and I learnt my lesson. I went to Abuja for a show. I was looking for

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/10/abuja-big-girl-swindles-me.html?m=1