@greatgod2012 Don't blame me please.The Dream is big.But honestly speaking I do love my wife to do things while am around. But my point is As a woman make sure the Home is clean ,Dat can't be compromised.
What is dere to do.You stay at home to take good care of the kids .Take care of the House.veyr simple my dear.

jidegirl12: Efe chilli's example is not different atall ... Dirty people are very hard to live with.. in OP 's case he had no choice but to accept/ tolerate her for those years ... He's had enough of unbearable stench ( eik ) .. I don't like the D word but he should Divorce her bottom jor.

I'm waiting for posters to start blaming her parents oh..yeye.

If she's really that dirty, and if they dated the way Debrief described it for the northerners, the guy would still have know that she's dirty.

C'mon, her clothes no go smell of dried sweat? Won't they look dirty? Won't she be lacking in personal hygiene? The point I'm trying to make here is that he must have known she was this dirty. Her filth didn't stop him from marrying her, nor did it stop him from rolling onto her to bear his kid. So he better shape up and quit moaning. They've both got issues to sort out.

But the good thing is that he's already given her a shocker and she's conceeded that she doesn't want her marriage to end, so hopefully, she'll learn some cleaning skills.

But seriously, na wa for some women (and men o!)

timothy001: @greatgod2012 Don't blame me please.The Dream is big.But honestly speaking I do love my wife to do things while am around. But my point is As a woman make sure the Home is clean ,Dat can't be compromised.
What is dere to do.You stay at home to take good care of the kids .Take care of the House.veyr simple my dear.

yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
I now understand, your dream is big and i pray that your dream come to pass.
However, know this, no woman, i repeat, no woman will like to live in a dirty place, or let me say, no woman will want her husband to come back from work and meet the whole place dirty, but dont make it seem married women are suppose to be slaves, you cant achieve the best of your wife if you behave like that towards her, everyone deserves to be treated with respect, before it can be reciprocal, so, get that.
From your words, do i take it that you have a stay-at -home wife? Even at that, dont look at her as a slave. Treat her with respect and you will get the best of her.
Once again, may your dream come to pass. Amen.

^^ Your posts on this thread are spot on jare.

Well said!

greatgod2012:


yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
I now understand, your dream is big and i pray that your dream come to pass.
However, know this, no woman, i repeat, no woman will like to live in a dirty place, or let me say, no woman will want her husband to come back from work and meet the whole place dirty, but dont make it seem married women are suppose to be slaves, you cant achieve the best of your wife if you behave like that towards her, everyone deserves to be treated with respect, before it can be reciprocal, so, get that.
From your words, do i take it that you have a stay-at -home wife? Even at that, dont look at her as a slave. Treat her with respect and you will get the best of her.
Once again, may your dream come to pass. Amen.

I doubt he has a house or a wife, he is just dreaming it, "Oga Sir"! Big House Maid/ Slave called wife with no goals or dreams just to satisfy his needs and who he can shout and scream at when he feels like it.
The dream

@greatgod2012 Thanks For that ,Wish u best in Life too.

@debrief08 Thank You,But am not lukin 4 a slave.And ofcourse the big house is not a Dream,It's my job..

greatgod2012:


yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
I now understand, your dream is big and i pray that your dream come to pass.
However, know this, no woman, i repeat, no woman will like to live in a dirty place, or let me say, no woman will want her husband to come back from work and meet the whole place dirty, but dont make it seem married women are suppose to be slaves, you cant achieve the best of your wife if you behave like that towards her, everyone deserves to be treated with respect, before it can be reciprocal, so, get that.
From your words, do i take it that you have a stay-at -home wife? Even at that, dont look at her as a slave. Treat her with respect and you will get the best of her.
Once again, may your dream come to pass. Amen.

You are so wrong with that statement that no woman would like to live in a dirty environment. Dem plenty o! You never see...see some women closet sef, na you go run. Dirtiness does not know gender.

@Timothy, there's no way a person can hide their personal/general hygene from their partner in a typical courtship situation. If the man is aware of his wife's flaws why did he go ahead and marry her? Why can't he assist her or appoint someone else who can?
In my opinion, the only grounds for divorce should be infidelity and threat to one's life (or both).

bigass:

y

may God have mercy on you.

debrief08: A younger colleague was dating a guy, a lot of us were carried away with his good looks and his seeming politeness, she kept saying hehad hygiene issues but I was thinking it was the normal sometimes careless nature some men including my husband exhibit, till one day she got me to his place, I still have nightmares from what I saw.

He lives is a different town so she would go every 2 weeks, she spends all weekend cleaning up only to return and meet it more dirty.
When we got there he was at work, she said she got tired of cleaning his bathroom so she locked the second bathroom for her own use.
His bathroom water and pee all over the floor, poo in the toilet and stains of poo, the bath was discoloured with dirt and layers of it.

His clothes thrown all over, rats and roaches had made a permanent abode in his kitchen, the 30 mins we spent there I was scared for life, cockroaches strolling comfortably, I went to the hotel and showered 3 times, never nagged my husband for not properly mopping after that.

She tried and gave up, I always wonder who he will end up with, me I will de dead in a week

There were week old dishes in the kitchen sink, some developing maggots, coackroaches lazying around them.

My dear friend told me "see what I come to meet every weekend"

After that day I never told her to "manage" again.

Please tell me she didn't marry the guy

@debreif, I don't want to finish that ur story. Already wanna throw up.


I agree with Efe,it takes a dirty person to know one.
I can't imagine a neat person living with a dirty person for 3 yrs in d same house unless dat person is equally dirty. Or better put,secondary dirtiness.
Since that woman is dirty,that means yonder is also dirty and oga still dey enter! Chei!
I heard that some men can be automatically turned off if the woman is dirty down there(guys is that true).......

Infact,I don't like this topic.
Wanna puk.
Una well done

babyosisi:

Please tell me she didn't marry the guy

Thankfully she didn't.

debrief08:

Thankfully she didn't.

Ma,that ur post on dat bigas rubbish cracked me up. ASUU don't know what they r causing lai lai!

U dey vex o!
LOL!!!

Na wa o. Some of this nairaland ladies una b correct two face. There was this thread where the op asked if it's right for a girl to help out her b/f to clean his house. All the ladies where shouting "why give him that service when he hasn't paid for it" all except Idowu. Now mayb this lady in the op was thinking along that line when they were dating.

dominique: @Timothy, there's no way a person can hide their personal/general hygene from their partner in a typical courtship situation. If the man is aware of his wife's flaws why did he go ahead and marry her? Why can't he assist her or appoint someone else who can?
In my opinion, the only grounds for divorce should be infidelity and threat to one's life (or both).

and you don't think dirtiness is a threat to ones life?.

yellowpawpaw: @debreif, I don't want to finish that ur story. Already wanna throw up.


I agree with Efe,it takes a dirty person to know one.
I can't imagine a neat person living with a dirty person for 3 yrs in d same house unless dat person is equally dirty. Or better put,secondary dirtiness.
Since that woman is dirty,that means yonder is also dirty and oga still dey enter! Chei!
I heard that some men can be automatically turned off if the woman is dirty down there(guys is that true).......

Infact,I don't like this topic.
Wanna puk.
Una well done

@bolded, I reserve my comments

passionate88: Na wa o. Some of this nairaland ladies una b correct two face. There was this thread where the op asked if it's right for a girl to help out her b/f to clean his house. All the ladies where shouting "why give him that service when he hasn't paid for it" all except Idowu. Now mayb this lady in the op was thinking along that line when they were dating.

Awww you dey vex ... The thread was in Romance section..Most Ladies here are married

tell you what? Open same thread here and see for yourself.

jidegirl12:

Awww you dey vex ... The thread was in Romance section..Most Ladies here are married

tell you what? Open same thread here and see for yourself.

What's the difference?. Were the ladies "here" not single before they got married?.

I remember the post he is talking about.
I disagree and still disagree that girlfriends should go acting like wives, cooking, cleaning, washing and all that.
If he comes to your house give him food but to go and turn wife when you are not, I no gree.
Its not even allowed in my culture just modernism creepung in

@debrief

It's not modernism but acrtually cultural at least in the south western context

All these were wifely duties

There was an unspoken bond of marriage if a woman did all that to her man but now with modernism, charlatans abound

CC, please correct me if I'm wrong

@passionate88, I get your comment on the seeming dichotomy but even me I will not advise my sister to marry an unrepentant slob

There is a different btw that and an ignorant slob

At least that one knows his mistakes and can change but an unrepentant slob will never change

biolabee: @debrief

It's not modernism but acrtually cultural at least in the south western context

All these were wifely duties

There was an unspoken bond of marriage if a woman did all that to her man but now with modernism, charlatans abound

CC, please correct me if I'm wrong

@passionate88, I get your comment on the seeming dichotomy but even me I will not advise my sister to marry an unrepentant slob

There is a different btw that and an ignorant slob

At least that one knows his mistakes and can change but an unrepentant slob will never change

What I meant was that where I am from, a girl doesn't go sleeping, cooking and cleaning for a man till they are married.
But now, some are doing that. You don't even go to the mans house, he comes visits in your parents place and highest you stay outside and gist.

I know that is what you meant
But in terms of modernism as that aspect has been that way for about 50-60 years but not sleeping over though

That's why I said CC should correct me

If modernism to you is like 10 yrs, that is not new but even a expectation of the new wife to show she is ready

chaircover:

married ladies see things from married eyes

single ladies see things from single eyes

on a serious note, marriage makes you view certain things differently. There is that sense of commitment and you would work harder at keeping things together than if you were single.

Yet the said wife has refused to change. Now do you think the husband will just wake up and deciede to divorce his wife?, he might have talked to her about this deficiency for the 3 yr period. It's just like men that beat their wife's. Most don't exhibit that character when they are courting it doesn't even manifest during their 1st yr as a married couple.

Naturally some people are not neat,its not that they don't know what it takes to be hygienic but click for full article http://www./2013/08/neatness-help-in-relationship.html

Efemena_xy:

If she's really that dirty, and if they dated the way Debrief described it for the northerners, the guy would still have know that she's dirty.

C'mon, her clothes no go smell of dried sweat? Won't they look dirty? Won't she be lacking in personal hygiene? The point I'm trying to make here is that he must have known she was this dirty. Her filth didn't stop him from marrying her, nor did it stop him from rolling onto her to bear his kid. So he better shape up and quit moaning. They've both got issues to sort out.

But the good thing is that he's already given her a shocker and she's conceeded that she doesn't want her marriage to end, so hopefully, she'll learn some cleaning skills.

But seriously, na wa for some women (and men o!)

Madam Efe, Just read the original post again. The woman fit dey clean, she fit dey bath 3 times in a day dey wash her cloths but she is just too lazy to keep the house clean. Just like that dude that a poster said was dating her friend, I BET YOU HE WAS ALWAYS NEAT LOOKING when he's going to work but his house is as dirty as a gutter/drainage

Under real Islamic Practice and what is mostly applicable to Core Northern Wealthy Moslems, Women are not expected or even required to cook.
Even to Br3ast feed the husband is meant to pay her.
Doing these things is at a womans discretion, the husband is expected to make provision for cook and cleaner.

My point is that some cultures don't practice courtship as others do, some wives still get to meet their husbands on their wedding day.
Some do not spend any time together before they marry, it is not a good practice but the point is that some key faults may be missed during the process they are meant to study each other.
And expectations of what wives should be differs from culture to culture.
Like I said recently Northern Girls have started visiting the men they are meant to marry.

I never married from my own culture so mine was a little different.
But mainly that's how its done down here.

^^ fair enough just wanted to point out all practices are not the same

I mentioned what I knew about south west

No problem

debrief08: Under real Islamic Practice and what is mostly applicable to Core Northern Wealthy Moslems, Women are not expected or even required to cook.
Even to Br3ast feed the husband is meant to pay her.
Doing these things is at a womans discretion, the husband is expected to make provision for cook and cleaner.

I never saw that during my stay in the north. Kaduna to be precise, the women wether extremely wealthy, wealthy, rich, middle class or poor breast feed their child/ren. They cook and serve their husband. I even know of an ABU nurse that divorced his 3rd wife just because she couldn't cook on time when it was her turn to