naijababe:

Put the cow in he chute and make sure the hump is big o Don't be sending me any mesoro o if you know what is good for you.

Where da heck is ewuro?

Don't worry I have family members skilled in the art of cow buying

I don't know o guess she needed a break sent her a pm no reply.I hope all is well with her.

Ok my people I have been ruminating on this and don't want to open a thread.

I don't want go into too much details but it's an issue that is causing a major rift in hubby's family at the moment and I am thinking even though I don't want to get involved my husband listens to my counsel .i have advised hubby to just let go as sometimes fighting for property is just not worth it.Turns out the person in the middle of this brouhaha is now buying properties,living large etc with money that is meant for all the siblings.People are telling me that telling my husband to just forget about it is telling him not to get what is rightfully his and even if I feel we don't need it(we do actually as it's a large sum of money but I just hate fighting and squabbling over inheritance)what of the kids? if we put the money in an account for the kids God knows how much it would be in the future.Now people are beginning to encourage them(hubby&siblings)to take the legal route but I know how ugly this things become.He keeps saying I am the one tying his hands but i just feel God will elevate us and there is no need getting involved in all this family ish.I think I have shared how hubby lost his parents quite early so if he can have made it this far without this inheritance I just feel what's the point?Am I being timid(hubby thinks am scared of jazz and all that )but really it's not that.

I just think it's not worth it and we are ok without it but even my mum thinks I should allow them confront this person as their parents worked hard to acquire these properties.What do you think?oya naijababe,chaircover,Efemenaxy etc come shook mouth.Should i stop telling him to actually go for what is rightfully his especially as they found out that the said person forged his and his brothers signature to sell one of the lands recently.Said properties are in Nigeria.

Damsiso@

Why won't he? Naija sha!!!! Chai!!! People get longer throat pass snake own sef! Take the thing to court jor!!! Even if na 50 naira e be nko? Wetin be jazz? To me, jazz is a threat used for people who doesn't know their right or stand. You too do in conjunction with your pastor/imam and spiritually wring the thing comot for him hand na. Chikena.

shoefreak: Damsiso@

Why won't he? Naija sha!!!! Chai!!! People get longer throat pass snake own sef! Take the thing to court jor!!! Even if na 50 naira e be nko? Wetin be jazz? To me, jazz is a threat used for people who doesn't know their right or stand. You too do in conjunction with your pastor/imam and spiritually wring the thing comot for him hand na. Chikena.

No be jazz o really but I have just seen how nasty inheritance squabbles turn out ni.My grandfather and his brother did not talk for over 30 years over similar ish.My mum and her step siblings nko? it's just downright nasty.I just feel they should try to resolve it through mediation and get elderly relatives to intervene even if it means they all go down to Nigeria(none of them live in Nigeria) before just going straight to the legal route.Apparently said person keeps avoiding talking about it or brings up one story or the other but now people are saying just take it court straight.

damiso: Ok my people I have been ruminating on this and don't want to open a thread.

I don't want go into too much details but it's an issue that is causing a major rift in hubby's family at the moment and I am thinking even though I don't want to get involved my husband listens to my counsel .i have advised hubby to just let go as sometimes fighting for property is just not worth it.Turns out the person in the middle of this brouhaha is now buying properties,living large etc with money that is meant for all the siblings.People are telling me that telling my husband to just forget about it is telling him not to get what is rightfully his and even if I feel we don't need it(we do actually as it's a large sum of money but I just hate fighting and squabbling over inheritance)what of the kids? if we put the money in an account for the kids God knows how much it would be in the future.Now people are beginning to encourage them(hubby&siblings)to take the legal route but I know how ugly this things become.He keeps saying I am the one tying his hands but i just feel God will elevate us and there is no need getting involved in all this family ish.I think I have shared how hubby lost his parents quite early so if he can have made it this far without this inheritance I just feel what's the point?Am I being timid(hubby thinks am scared of jazz and all that )but really it's not that.

I just think it's not worth it and we are ok without it but even my mum thinks I should allow them confront this person as their parents worked hard to acquire these properties.What do you think?oya naijababe,chaircover,Efemenaxy etc come shook mouth.Should i stop telling him to actually go for what is rightfully his especially as they found out that the said person forged his and his brothers signature to sell one of the lands recently.Said properties are in Nigeria.

Personally, I would fight for it not because I want to squabble over inheritance but because my parents legacy is being eroded. I'd much rather see the money given to charity than some low-life spending it like my parents did not work hard for it. This kain matter de always vex me

naijababe:

Personally, I would fight for it not because I want to squabble over inheritance but because my parents legacy is being eroded. I'd much rather see the money given to charity than some low-life spending it like my parents did not work hard for it. This kain matter de always vex me

What if the low life is a sibling?

damiso:

What if the low life is a sibling?

As in hubby's sibling? Sadly, I will let it go

Issues like that Don't expect everyone to come out right and be in the person's face. If it causes squabble, hian!! They'll get over it jo.

Well you start with mediation but how sure are you that he would concur? Some People only understand 'the hard way' ooo.

damiso:

No be jazz o really but I have just seen how nasty inheritance squabbles turn out ni.My grandfather and his brother did not talk for over 30 years over similar ish.My mum and her step siblings nko? it's just downright nasty.I just feel they should try to resolve it through mediation and get elderly relatives to intervene even if it means they all go down to Nigeria(none of them live in Nigeria) before just going straight to the legal route.Apparently said person keeps avoiding talking about it or brings up one story or the other but now people are saying just take it court straight.

damiso: Ok my people I have been ruminating on this and don't want to open a thread.

I don't want go into too much details but it's an issue that is causing a major rift in hubby's family at the moment and I am thinking even though I don't want to get involved my husband listens to my counsel .i have advised hubby to just let go as sometimes fighting for property is just not worth it.Turns out the person in the middle of this brouhaha is now buying properties,living large etc with money that is meant for all the siblings.People are telling me that telling my husband to just forget about it is telling him not to get what is rightfully his and even if I feel we don't need it(we do actually as it's a large sum of money but I just hate fighting and squabbling over inheritance)what of the kids? if we put the money in an account for the kids God knows how much it would be in the future.Now people are beginning to encourage them(hubby&siblings)to take the legal route but I know how ugly this things become.He keeps saying I am the one tying his hands but i just feel God will elevate us and there is no need getting involved in all this family ish.I think I have shared how hubby lost his parents quite early so if he can have made it this far without this inheritance I just feel what's the point?Am I being timid(hubby thinks am scared of jazz and all that )but really it's not that.

I just think it's not worth it and we are ok without it but even my mum thinks I should allow them confront this person as their parents worked hard to acquire these properties.What do you think?oya naijababe,chaircover,Efemenaxy etc come shook mouth.Should i stop telling him to actually go for what is rightfully his especially as they found out that the said person forged his and his brothers signature to sell one of the lands recently.Said properties are in Nigeria.

This is freaky stuff Damiso.

Freaky because I know a family that went through exactly what you're talking about here.

Okay, let me be candid. Is the person at the centre of this commotion the eldest son? Was there any will drawn up by the deceased for their kids? (not that it makes any difference because the will can always be contested in court).

If the estate from the property in question is substantial (and from the sound of it, it is), then you lot might be better off going down the legal route. Get lawyers to fight this out in court (but be prepared for a long, drawn out battle which can take anything up to 10 years or more if the either side decides to go for an appeal. I think it starts of with your local courts, then state courts, and then federal / supreme court).

Be prepared to spend an arm and a leg in lawyers' fees, expenses, filing the case in court, and court related documents needed for this. That is nothing, but the stress involved is much. You'll need the heart of a lion for this o! If you're on the losing side, somewhere along the line, be prepared for suggestions of an out-of-court-settlement. This would be drawn up by lawyers at both ends.

But whatever the case may be, if you guys decide to go down the legal route, just be very careful... and make sure it gets settled properly. I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want situations where when you or your family go back home to visit, you'll be target for kidnappers because of the unsettled angst against you lot. Money brings out the worst in people. I'm sure you know that.

I kind of get where your husband is coming from. It can be frustrating to see someone back home cheating you of what is rightfully yours and the family's. Where this person wants to take it all for himself and leave the others with nothing. Who doesn't need money? We all want the best for our kids and investing in their financial future is just one way of helping them. Thing is, most people back home feel anyone in Obodo Oyinbo is rolling in milk and honey, and that the streets are paved with gold. I think what you need is weigh the pro's and con's of this and decide if it will be worth it in the end.

D'you know that this family I mentioned earlier that went through exactly what you've mentioned...they eventually settled out of court, and the sole contester that took them to court, eventually took the lion's share of the property simply because he's the eldest child. But what did he do with it?

He had to sell it all up to settle his lawyers. To cut a long story short, after over a decade of fighting this out, he was no better than he was at the start of it all. Karma is indeed a bítch, Damiso.

Damiso, if I were u I would allow him fight for his inheritance because ignoring a situation like this only sprout more similar cases in the future.
If u guys spare that cheater now, later,he's most likely to do other ignorant/innocent souls down.
I think your hubby shouldn't relent in this struggle and set things right(even if it means teaching the evil doer a lesson irrespective of his status in the family); what u need to do is to back him up spiritually and keep counseling him...
Nothing go happen, but yoruba and their jazz eh *mouth sealed*

EfemenaXY:

This is freaky stuff Damiso.

Freaky because I know a family that went through exactly what you're talking about here.

Okay, let me be candid. Is the person at the centre of this commotion the eldest son? Was there any will drawn up by the deceased for their kids? (not that it makes any difference because the will can always be contested in court).

If the estate from the property in question is substantial (and from the sound of it, it is), then you lot might be better off going down the legal route. Get lawyers to fight this out in court (but be prepared for a long, drawn out battle which can take anything up to 10 years or more if the either side decides to go for an appeal. I think it starts of with your local courts, then state courts, and then federal / supreme court).

Be prepared to spend an arm and a leg in lawyers' fees, expenses, filing the case in court, and court related documents needed for this. That is nothing, but the stress involved is much. You'll need the heart of a lion for this o! If you're on the losing side, somewhere along the line, be prepared for suggestions of an out-of-court-settlement. This would be drawn up by lawyers at both ends.

But whatever the case may be, if you guys decide to go down the legal route, just be very careful... and make sure it gets settled properly. I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want situations where when you or your family go back home to visit, you'll be target for kidnappers because of the unsettled angst against you lot. Money brings out the worst in people. I'm sure you know that.

I kind of get where your husband is coming from. It can be frustrating to see someone back home cheating you of what is rightfully yours and the family's. Where this person wants to take it all for himself and leave the others with nothing. Who doesn't need money? We all want the best for our kids and investing in their financial future is just one way of helping them. Thing is, most people back home feel anyone in Obodo Oyinbo is rolling in milk and honey, and that the streets are paved with gold. I think what you need is weigh the pro's and con's of this and decide if it will be worth it in the end.

D'you know that this family I mentioned earlier that went through exactly what you've mentioned...they eventually settled out of court, and the sole contester that took them to court, eventually took the lion's share of the property simply because he's the eldest child. But what did he do with it?

He had to sell it all up to settle his lawyers. To cut a long story short, after over a decade of fighting this out, he was no better than he was at the start of it all. Karma is indeed a bítch, Damiso.

That is exactly what I am thinking of how long and drawn out it could be and the nastiness that could indeed ensue.Its a long story but funny enough the person is not male(only one born in Nigeria) and there was no will.So it's more or less been something that was just left to her to manage and oversee as the others were too young and when old enough just left the country.They just kinda never really thought about them and just allowed her free rein(like you said let her be using proceeds from rent etc to organise stuff back home and keep body and soul together)until they discovered recently she actually forged their signatures to SELL OFF(thats their main grouse) some of said property to invest in her 'business' and also get property for herself and hubby.

I also feel karma is a she-dog and she will get what's coming to her and they should forego what's she sold off(as I said sibling things) let them just decide to what they want to do with what's left,maybe also sell off and split proceeds, or appoint an independent estate manager who will manage for a fee and pay proceeds into an estate account.

try mediation then go legal

naijababe:

As in hubby's sibling? Sadly, I will let it go

You see my point a bit.

shoefreak: Issues like that Don't expect everyone to come out right and be in the person's face. If it causes squabble, hian!! They'll get over it jo.

Well you start with mediation but how sure are you that he would concur? Some People only understand 'the hard way' ooo.

Some uncles have tried to intervene and she even fought one calling him an hypocrite who never asked after their welfare in the past.Then she came up with another ridiculous story (if I say the story here una go laugh) when asked pointedly by hubby.

pickabeau1: try mediation then go legal

I agree with mediation.I feel she might not be able to refund some of what she sold so the fair thing might be her not getting out of the proceeds of what's left(which is what people think she might not agree to).

@cc thanks for pointing me to this thread... so much to learn.
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Learn beads and wireworks free
http://www.rotadbeadsanddecor..com

Na she sef? Nansense!!! Person wey all of una go tanda together do in conjunction bully. Anyway, you see, she doesn't want to listen na. Make una drag her 'selfish' a55 to court na. Person like that go always find excuse till she drops.

damiso:

Some uncles have tried to intervene and she even fought one calling him an hypocrite who never asked after their welfare in the past.Then she came up with another ridiculous story (if I say the story here una go laugh) when asked pointedly by hubby.

LyndaRoyce: Damiso, if I were u I would allow him fight for his inheritance because ignoring a situation like this only sprout more similar cases in the future.
If u guys spare that cheater now, later,he's most likely to do other ignorant/innocent souls down.
I think your hubby shouldn't relent in this struggle and set things right(even if it means teaching the evil doer a lesson irrespective of his status in the family); what u need to do is to back him up spiritually and keep counseling him...
Nothing go happen, but yoruba and their jazz eh *mouth sealed*

Lynda not necessarily ignore perse but I just feel the resolution should be as civil as possible if you get what I mean.This is a sibling you know.I know how I feel about my siblings and I was so disappointed because I can't see myself not carrying my siblings along in issues like this(I am also a first child) but I guess humans are different.her children are my children's cousins and I don't want a situation where In The future they will see each other and not even say hi because of passed down bitterness and enmity.

Me personally I wont fight over naija property . . .Thats just my own take on the matter - I have seen a lot with my koro koro eyes

If its obodo oyibo where there are clear laws and judgements are followed to the T & also within a reasonable time then yes, but i am not prepared to wait 10 years for a judgement in Naija and be going up and down for court ajournments.

Money can bring out the worst in people. Its just too bad.

Dami, we are all different and if your hubby wants to fight for his right, I do understand where he is coming from. The only thing you can do is to support him and make sure that he is safe.

A collegue is going through such at the moment. The first son decided to take everything. He even willed a house and land to his own children. He has senior sisters o! He willed a house his own mother is living in to his 3 year old daughter. Absolutly crazy. When he drives off the 3rd mainland bridge people will say eeeyaaaaaaa. Not knowing that his cup was full.

TOYNEX: @cc thanks for pointing me to this thread... so much to learn.
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Learn beads and wireworks free
http://www.rotadbeadsanddecor..com

You are welcome sweetheart

Lets welcome our newest familylander

becasuse you are teaching me how to make beads, you dont have to pay me registration fee

Floodgater: Sorry you got me wrong CHAIRCOVER. I meant 'LIVELINESS'.

Just saw this . . .

Oya go and bring Range Rover as apology

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I'm new to d family section but I love what I'm reading here...Tx to cc.... I don't know I must introduce myself I just jump in thru a link to page 188 that prompts my previous post... I then went back to 0 to check what d thread is all about....
I'm Toynex, in mid 30s, happily married with God's gifts ....I do beads... and I love to teach... I teach anything so far I know it... I recently dive into blogging just for fun.... to teach.. but I'm not a teacher by profession... I'm a Beader... Do I need to say I'm a girl(lady(woman**** I bet u know dat already....
Oya who dey receive newbies? I no like to dey wait too much o... *grins*

damiso:

I agree with mediation.I feel she might not be able to refund some of what she sold so the fair thing might be her not getting out of the proceeds of what's left(which is what people think she might not agree to).

try some win win techniques

An opttion is to discount some of her loot from proceeds of the unsold properties.. that way she does not feel she lost out

Else.. u go hard... you guys set a minimum target.... she will get her come uppance dont worry

chaircover: Me personally I wont fight over naija property . . .Thats just my own take on the matter - I have seen a lot with my koro koro eyes
If its obodo oyibo where there are clear laws and judgements are followed to the T & also within a reasonable time then yes, but i am not prepared to wait 10 years for a judgement in Naija and be going up and down for court ajournments.
Money can bring out the worst in people. Its just too bad.
Dami, we are all different and if your hubby wants to fight for his right, I do understand where he is coming from. The only thing you can do is to support him and make sure that he is safe.
A firend is going through such at the moment. The first boy decided to take everything. He even willed a house to his own children. He has senior sisters o! He willed the house his own mother is living in to his 3 year old daughter. Absolutly crazy. When he drives off the 3rd mainland bridge people will say eeeyaaaaaaa. Not knowing that his cup was full.

When his other siblings ask what's his take he says my wife says I should not fight over property .I tell him jo ma ko ba mi o(Pls don't put me in trouble o) hian what's my own abegi I am just telling you people to not let emotions run high ni He too is kinda torn because he too feels he can't be bothered to face long drawn out battles in court but on the other hand also feels like Lynda said it's allowing a person get away with bad behaviour. also we are talking about his elder sister he grew up with.He was sooo disappointed.

I think they just need to get past feeling cheated(which they were I agree esp the forging signatures part) and try to resolve it all amicably.As i said to him once where are the owners of the property sef today?You cheat people one day it will come back to haunt you.

pickabeau1:


try some win win techniques

An opttion is to discount some of her loot from proceeds of the unsold properties.. that way she does not feel she lost out

Else.. u go hard... you guys set a minimum target.... she will get her come uppance dont worry

That's a good idea actually.i will suggest it to hubby.

Yap, like Toynex, I'm also new here. Biko who's incharge of welcoming the newbies. I don't want to call names.

chaircover:

You are welcome sweetheart

Lets welcome our newest familylander

becasuse you are teaching me how to make beads, you dont have to pay me registration fee

****happy mood activated****

TOYNEX: I'm new to d family section but I love what I'm reading here...Tx to cc.... I don't know I must introduce myself I just jump in thru a link to page 188 that prompts my previous post... I then went back to 0 to check what d thread is all about....
I'm Toynex, in mid 30s, happily married with God's gifts ....I do beads... and I love to teach... I teach anything so far I know it... I recently dive into blogging just for fun.... to teach.. but I'm not a teacher by profession... I'm a Beader... Do I need to say I'm a girl(lady(woman**** I bet u know dat already....
Oya who dey receive newbies? I no like to dey wait too much o... *grins*

Please do you offer private tutoring?

damiso:

When his other siblings ask what's his take he says my wife says I should not fight over property . Tell him jo ma ko a mi o(Pls don't put me in trouble o) hian what's my own abegi I am just telling you people to not let emotions run high ni He us kinda torn because he too feels he can't be bothered to face long drawn out battles in court but on the other hand also feels like Lynda said it's allowing a person get away with bad behaviour. I think they just need to get past feeling cheated(which they were I agree esp the forging signatures part) and try to resolve it all amicably.As i said to him once where are the owners of the property sef today?You cheat people one day it will come back to haunt you.

Its a hard one, I must admit.
Is this person willing to share what is left?
You see when people are boxed in a corner, they fight anyhow without caring who gets hurt.
its alwayd good to give people an escape route.
I dont know what has been taken so far and what is left
but you may want to consider drawing a line in the sand and saying take what you have taken, but the rest we have to share and maybe she will be more co-operative.
People like that usually do adie da mi logun nu, ma fo leyin
translate please

jaybee3:
Please do you offer private tutoring?

yap.
.
.
u can get my contact from d blog

TOYNEX: I'm new to d family section but I love what I'm reading here...Tx to cc.... I don't know I must introduce myself I just jump in thru a link to page 188 that prompts my previous post... I then went back to 0 to check what d thread is all about....
I'm Toynex, in mid 30s, happily married with God's gifts ....I do beads... and I love to teach... I teach anything so far I know it... I recently dive into blogging just for fun.... to teach.. but I'm not a teacher by profession... I'm a Beader... Do I need to say I'm a girl(lady(woman**** I bet u know dat already....
Oya who dey receive newbies? I no like to dey wait too much o... *grins*

Where is edwife & Bellong? Come and welcome madam T beads o!

You will soon get to know the ones to stay clear of, such as jaybee3 & R321. . .