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She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 4:48pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
My friend is an Engineer and has a very good job. He is married with two children 1 and 3 yrs old and his wife is an accountant. He wants his wife to stay home and take care of the kids, but his wife said she can't be a housewife and want to work too. He is very upset about that because he thinks life would be easier and fair for the kids if she stays home. He promise to give her monthly allowance and she can work when the kids grows up. He thinks the wife is not understanding and selfish and his wife said she wants to make her own money and don't want to depend on her husband for everything financially. Who is at fault? |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 4:51pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
if d guy has gat money,let him start up a business for her,and employ some helping hands,atleast then she can have time for d family,but staying athome and being a housewife,no no no |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 5:00pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
The wife suggested a house maid to care of the kids why they are at work, but it will cost them about $1500 monthly and he think the wife can't get that as a monthly allowance rather than paying that to a house help. He didn't want her to be a housewife before until he found a very good job he has always been hoping to get. It's not just easy opening a business in America |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by 4Him1(m): 5:03pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
the man is being selfish. The woman will be the one to lose out eventually if she stuck at home just depending on "monthly allowance" (an insult to someone you call a wife). |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Abi oh. Does he think its easy for a woman who earlier had a job to sit at home all day 'tending' the family?? If the woman falls for this crap now, she's stuck for life!! |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:07pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
@ post Who is the man trying to fool be calling his wife selfish? Isn't he selfish? Or does he think he is the only one who has got the kids at heart? |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by iseobio(m): 5:07pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
there is nothing like "housewife"? I understand the term is derogatory. The Proper name which the English have adopted and which is dignifying is "CARER". Tell your friend to tell the wife that he wants her to be a CARER and she will oblige. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:11pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Well, telly our friend that he's been unfair na. Did your wife's friend go to school? maybe she doesn't want to waste all that time and all she learned by not using it. I understand her, me, I definitely cannot be a housewife. I went to school to get education ----> to get a reasonable job. Sure, it's hard for the kids when their mom is not always there, but when she's off she can spend time with the children. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by sistawoman: 5:14pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
If they never discussed her being a housewife before marriage then why would he want to change the plan now. I understand how she feels. Some women are cut out to be housewives, my sister is one, and others, like me, prefer to work and pay someone else to do that domestic shit. they should have discussed this prior to marriage and this should not be an issue right now. My husband knows i am a working woman who has no desire at all to give up my job or stop working. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by iseobio(m): 5:21pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
sistawoman: then who will care for the domestic needs? can you hire some one to care and train your kids? God help you the person is not a paedophile. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 5:27pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
It's very stressful caring to children in American. Day care cost too much and they always have to leave work early to pick up the kids. If they have a grandmother at home, it would have been better that way both of them can work. They are paying $1500 monthly for daycare only they have to pick up the kids at 5pm They guy often work late. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by sistawoman: 5:30pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
I hope and pray to God that my children are never molested. I have rasied my children to understand the difference between right and wrong. My children are the most well behaved, mannered children you will ever meet. Anytime any of my children go anywhere they are always prasied on thier behavior and always invited back. My parents keep the children during the summer for thier break but will not keep any of thier other grandchildren because mine are so well behaved. So yes i hire someone to sit in the house with them before and after school. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by sistawoman: 5:32pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
kojeiwa: Has your friend looked into getting a live in? If you have the room you can get someone for about 600.00 a month and they can install nanny cams and the children dont have to get up early to go someplace else. I had a live-in nanny/housekeeper for about 6 years when the kids were younger. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 5:33pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Another good point. A lot of children get molested by this maid. And this kids get too used to the housemaid that they even call the maid mommy. That is not a good feeling. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:36pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
kojeiwa:that right there is very true. . . but $1500? gosh!! how many kids? |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 5:36pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
They found a nanny that is asking for $1000 monthly and she said she will only be there to care for the kids No work meaning she won't clean, do laundry or cook. I don't think that is a good deal |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:37pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
ok, two kids? for $1500. . .wow! I understand the husband's opinion on this. . .but then kojeiwa: Neither do I. . .it's like she's just there staring at the kids ![]() |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by 4Him1(m): 5:43pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
ship the kids off to their grandparents. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 5:44pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
My friend is also considering sending the kids back to Naija to be raised there by his mom and they can come back to start high school (Secondary school). The wife said she can't send her kids to Naija to the husband family that she doesn't trust them. I am happy my mom is here in the U.S She must have retired before i start having kids. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:49pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
4 Him:why would you want to send your kids away from you? that's even worst |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by iseobio(m): 5:51pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
morenike09: depends if they are pigheads. if they are then there is nothing wrong about it. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 5:52pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Pigheads or no pigheads. . .I decided to have them, now as a parent, it's my responsibility to take care of them. . .while they're with me. . not miles away form me ![]() |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by sistawoman: 5:58pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
kojeiwa: What city and state do they live in. A live in housekeeper would be much less expensive, because you are providing room and board. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by 4Him1(m): 6:01pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
morenike09: there are pros and cons to be considered. Everyone would love to have their kids with them. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 6:02pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
4 Him:pros and cons? plz, do tell! |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Outstrip(f): 6:16pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Very smart woman. I work too and yes I feel guilty sometimes when I drop my boys off at daycare and my older boy cries after me. The fact of the matter is that you can love your children and husband with every fiber of your being but if you do not do what you really wish to be doing, you will get resentful and bitter. If this is what she really wants to do then he needs to let her do it. It will be tougher for her to get back into the swing of things after being home for years while you the husband is moving up in your career. What makes him believe that having a career is more important to him than it is to her. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by StephenP(m): 7:23pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
That dude should hire a nanny and let her work. |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 7:33pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
The term housewife is annoying and I'm sure the woman sees it so. ![]() This situation is where your parents, grandparents etc come in, I mean to take care of the kids. Don't they have a close relative around? |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by kojeiwa(m): 7:53pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
I thought women generally wouldn't mind been a housewife if they have the opportunity. Most of my white co-worker's wives are housewife. The cost of Nanny in Chicago would be more expensive than that of most other State |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 8:14pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
not all women ,some of them don't want to depend on their hubbys for everything-------------if a man does not want his wife to work,then let him startup a biz for her,its going to be too boring staying athome all day,-------goshhhhhh abeg i no blame d woman jare |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 8:39pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
and being a housewife can get boring |
Re: She Refused To Be A Housewife by Nobody: 8:44pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
my sister morenike,boring is an understatement doing d same thing everyday(sitting at one place) ![]() |
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