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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / What Would You Call This Poem?2 (1286 Views)
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What Would You Call This Poem?2 by nonso3k(m): 4:56pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
hello, i wrote this poem about a year or so ago,but i still kind of have it fresh on my mind.i would like a good or rather better poet to tell me what he or she thinks about it. cry not brother at my moment of departure cause am not done but only gone if only you listen you'll hear me calling and when am singing i only pray you'll stop mourning cause am still very much around and for the love by which we abound I'll wait upon thee till the right time. |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Ojukwursg(m): 7:03pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
Nice poem. Sounds likes a dirge. I like simple topic, so I probably will call it GONE ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Nobody: 9:41pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
I'm not a poet nor a literary critic, so I can't give you any advice relating to your poem. But I would like to say it's a nice poem and your words had meaning. I could feel the emotions in the construction of each phrase. |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Nobody: 9:47pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
I used to love writing poems as my hobby. . . This poem has the tone of sorrow. . .I don't kow why. It's speaker is dead. . .yet it's telling "you", probably it's lover, that it's still here. . . this poem hides a lot of memories, one of passion. . . I love this kind of poem, this poem is not that great (no offense), but it brings back memories for me I'll call it. . . STILL HERE I know it might sound a little corny , but those words have a lot of meaning to them, to me ![]() Nice poem by the way ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by janami(f): 9:49pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
@poster nice poem. @ojukwu "Gone" sounds really nice. i love one word titles, but the poet says he is still very much around, probly still has unfinished business. i dnt really think "gone" is an appropriate title. wot do u think? |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Nobody: 9:50pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
I'll call it. . . STILL HERE Good!!!! But STILLWATER would have been better ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Nobody: 9:51pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
LOL!! thanks. . .you wish! ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Nobody: 9:57pm On Jun 13, 2008 |
lovely poem ![]() I agree with Ojukwu, you should name it 'GONE' ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by nanaboi(m): 8:14pm On Jun 14, 2008 |
So I'm not the only one afterall. I always have a problem titling my works - maybe because I like condensed and uncommon titles and find it had sometimes to concoct one. Let me try, um , well, maybe later |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by jydeboy: 8:31pm On Jun 15, 2008 |
EPITAPH is the best title. Pray, are you still alive? |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Ojukwursg(m): 3:11pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
I choose the title GONE based on the clues given by the writer - departure - gone - cry not - still much around It also sounds like the person is 'bodily' gone but maybe spiritually around. The mourning also point to this. Another analogy is Fela 'Kuti Fela is GONE, but he is still here. We hear him when we listen. ![]() ![]() |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by janami(f): 7:40pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
ok. i understand now. from your explanation, "gone" seems very appropriate |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by omonofa(m): 8:50pm On Jun 16, 2008 |
i love janet |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by realdemi(f): 3:15pm On Jun 17, 2008 |
@Title I prefer 'STILL HERE' because it is obvious the person speaking in the poem though gone is still very much around/alive (spirit) and promises to be till the appropriate time. He still lives on. @nonso3k The poem carries warmth and feeling though it could still be better.Permit me to make some alterations on the poem. STILL HERE Cry not brother At my moment of departure For I am not done But only gone If only you'd listen You'd hear me calling And when I'm singing I pray you would stop mourning Cause am still very much around For the love by which we are bound I'll wait upon thee till the right time. This is not the best I could make of it but i didn't want to do much alteration. |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by Sisikill: 1:03pm On Jun 18, 2008 |
Very emotional and beautiful poem. As for the name. . .I go for Still Here He's gone but still here. |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by nonso3k(m): 11:14am On Jun 25, 2008 |
tx to you all.you're all such wonderful fellas.lots of love.you can mail me at nonso3k@yahoo.com |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by TrueBrit: 6:01pm On Jun 25, 2008 |
@ Poster, While this is poetry and belongs in the Poem Section, I'd say I think an appropriate title for your poem is "Lingering On" or "Lingering Presence" |
Re: What Would You Call This Poem?2 by nonso3k(m): 2:19pm On Aug 01, 2008 |
so wad up with this section anyways nobody is talking? |
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