In a recent conversation with a young dude i know too well... A lot was said but i noted a fundamental and sensitive point he made., a perspective of his, regarding marriage, one which i think he needs help to correct.. Read on. In the course of our conversation, we drifted from discussing other stuff, to talking about 'relationship(s)'.. Yikes! This is one topic i've a profound interest in! Long story short, this dude made a statement that left me hanging in my thoughts... In his words: "i have 'lust' as my biggest weakness..lust in the heart and of course fornication.. And i can't help it! I've tried all i c'ld to curtail and put to subjection, this 'tyrannous' desire..but to no avail.. One day, i stumbled upon a thought! 'GET MARRIED QUICK'! Then i w'ldn't have to lust upon any lass or fornicate..!"..End of quote. I sensed euphoria in his tone when he stated that part that says 'get married quick'... I couldn't gather my words immediately, i just stared blankly at him after the statement was made, though i had a plethora of thoughts running through my mind.. Now the big question. This dude is just 'Two decades and A year old'! And he wants to venture into the lifetime institution- Marriage! One decision that c'ld make or mar him, in this regard... Over to you folks! Should he brave it in at this age (considering the repercussion of fornication 'as an act')? Or sh'ld he just chill and be patient ( considering the fact that he's yet immature for marriage)...Even the 'older' and mature ones are finding it 'not-so-easy' and of course challanging..talk more of a lad of age 21.. Please forward your comments and air your views as regards this issue and lets help my friend out of this bending decision. Thanks. Speranza.

If marriage will stop him from lusting than thats a great decision,age is just a number... Even a 40year old man can't manage marriage while some 25years old dude are doing it perfectly... Its something of the heart as well stop him from sinning cz fornication is a great sin

Some people are more mature than their age. If this person in question has a good job, accommodation and feels he can support a family, he can go ahead.

Experience they say is the best teacher of man.nothing you say to him contrary to his opinion will make sense to him so you can allow him to get married.whatever he sees there ko faramo.there are somethings people dont learn or understand by explanation until when they experience it themselves.per chance his wife puts to bed with a set of twins,i hope he wont take off like some people we know

kulyie: Experience they say is the best teacher of man.nothing you say to him contrary to his opinion will make sense to him so you can allow him to get married.whatever he sees there ko faramo.there are somethings people dont learn or understand by explanation until when they experience it themselves.per chance his wife puts to bed with a set of twins,i hope he wont take off like some people we know

what if the couple engage in family planning till when the are capable and ready to raise a child

No age is too young/old to get married once a person is matured (above 18? 20?)

If he has a woman he loves, source of income and is educated, why not?

My only problem will be if he decides to marry the next available girl because he wants to 'control' his lust.

The couple who celebrated 80yr wedding anniversary married at 17 and 21

It's well

Would have supported his decision if it wasn't based on the weakness he has. He may be able to manage his marriage well irrespective of his age, but will he be able to control his emotions when confronted by the tempting beauties we have everywhere when married? Who is to say he will not go out seeking what he is finding outside his marriage if he feels he is not getting it the way he wants? My advice to him is that he should learn to bridle his emotions, put his mind and body under his control before attempting marriage. Let him learn to not lust when single so he can do it better after marriage. So far,his reason is not good enough.

bukatyne: No age is too young/old to get married once a person is matured (above 18? 20?)

If he has a woman he loves, source of income and is educated, why not?

My only problem will be if he decides to marry the next available girl because he wants to 'control' his lust.

The couple who celebrated 80yr wedding anniversary married at 17 and 21

It's well

.

That's the point, gurlie.! He intends to get married so as to control his burning desire...! Now the probability that he definately will put the wife away after a year or two along the line, stands at 1! It's certain. Considering the fact that (1). He ventured into it with the wrong motive in mind- to curtail lust and fornication, not taking the fact that he still immature in mind and unprepared, into deep consideration. (2). Besides, he still lives wif his parents. Though out of sen. sec. sch, he's still struggling to attain his 0'level results.!

Anyone who thinks marriage is a solution to any personality problems is just setting himself up for a rude shock. Do you know the amount of work it takes to succeed in marriage? The fellow doesn't have the strength of character to briddle his lusts and he wants to "get married quick".

Mogenerous: If marriage will stop him from lusting than thats a great decision,age is just a number... Even a 40year old man can't manage marriage while some 25years old dude are doing it perfectly... Its something of the heart as well stop him from sinning cz fornication is a great sin

yeah! Strongly agreed. Fornication is sin. But, have you considered 'divorce' too, dearest? Ok! Let's get it straight. He goes into it, finds out the marriage is not as cosy as he thought it to be(he lacks the prerequisites- understanding, patience, and all.), now he blames it on the wife(from the onset, he married her to gratify his lust...just for sex, so he w'ldn't fornicate).. Finally he puts her away..divorcing her.. Remember God says divorce is sin. HE hates it.

Xyge: .

That's the point, gurlie.! He intends to get married so as to control his burning desire...! Now the probability that he definately will put the wife away after a year or two along the line, stands at 1! It's certain. Considering the fact that (1). He ventured into it with the wrong motive in mind- to curtail lust and fornication, not taking the fact that he still immature in mind and unprepared, into deep consideration. (2). Besides, he still lives wif his parents. Though out of sen. sec. sch, he's still struggling to attain his 0'level results.!

Tell your friend that he is very unserious and visionless.

If I hear him talk of marriage again, I will e-slap him

bukatyne:

Tell your friend that he is very unserious and visionless.

If I hear him talk of marriage again, I will e-slap him

Hahahaha!!!
Too much teens on nairaland!
ASUU and fed govt, una never resolve?

I
dont understand y some pple said he should get married, the truth is if
he gets married, thats not the solution cos he has over 90percent
chance to cheat on his wife when she is not there to satisfy his lustful
desires.

He needs to adress the main issue, dis guy has a lustful heart, marriage
will never be the solution, mayb d immediate solution but not a lasting
solution, he needs to focus, have a strong resolution and get
distracted from evry lustful tots. BTW, i support the fact that age does
not matter in getting married, maturity does and also as a man he
should be able to stand on his feet financially not crawling that which i
doubt in a typical Nigeria Setting for a 21 years old boy, he better focus on his studies

yellowpawpaw:
Hahahaha!!!
Too much teens on nairaland!
ASUU and fed govt, una never resolve?

Lol! ASUU cannot even solve his problem!

He can still think of lust when he is yet to have his O'levels

bukatyne:

Tell your friend that he is very unserious and visionless.

If I hear him talk of marriage again, I will e-slap him

exactly.like mama g will say,a man without a source of livelihood has no right to have an e,re,ection 8-) if he does,i will pour e.hot water on his john thomas :p 8-)

Marriage does not solve infidelity and promiscuous problem, it will only worsen the situation. If he cannot deal with his sexual weakness, I am sorry marriage will only give him reasons to be more promiscuous.

In between, he is unfit emotionally, financially and immature to be thinking of marriage. Tell him to get a life.....

The main reason CHRISTAIN MARRIAGES FAIL MORE THAN THAT ANY OTHER RELIGIOUS CULT!!!!
I wanno MARRY TO PHOCK MY NEIGHBOR AS MYSELF!!!

Instead of dying GAY AND MISERABLE. . , like that dem SAVIOR!!!!

ShiooooooooooooYOR!!!!

Kanwulia: The main reason CHRISTAIN MARRIAGES FAIL MORE THAN THAT ANY OTHER RELIGIOUS CULT!!!!
I wanno MARRY TO PHOCK MY NEIGHBOR AS MYSELF!!!

Instead of dying GAY AND MISERABLE. . , like that dem SAVIOR!!!!

ShiooooooooooooYOR!!!!

LMAO
Mama Chi chi X2 don tok am as e be

hey guys! Why did u stop posting?! Need 'em coming.!

Xyge: hey guys! Why did u stop posting?! Need 'em coming.!

Everyone has said what there is to say na? What do you want to hear again?

21? Marriage? No O'level yet?

E go soon know. Even people who venture into marrigae with other motives besides sehx find themselves running out of it, not to talk of someone who wants to marry just to bridle his lust. Excuse me, why didn't you slap his head off?

E go soon tired sef, olomi lo ma re

Who is going to marry him anyway? He wont find a wife when he hasnt gotten his o level, not earning and lives with his parents. Let him go and purge himself of his lust and stop wasting our time here poster.

bellong: Marriage does not solve infidelity and promiscuous problem, it will only worsen the situation. If he cannot deal with his sexual weakness, I am sorry marriage will only give him reasons to be more promiscuous.

In between, he is unfit emotionally, financially and immature to be thinking of marriage. Tell him to get a life.....

Pls take hi 5 jor

stephy10: Who is going to marry him anyway? He wont find a wife when he hasnt gotten his o level, not earning and lives with his parents. Let him go and purge himself of his lust and stop wasting our time here poster.

.

That's rather too mean..

Kanwulia: The main reason CHRISTAIN MARRIAGES FAIL MORE THAN THAT ANY OTHER RELIGIOUS CULT!!!!
I wanno MARRY TO PHOCK MY NEIGHBOR AS MYSELF!!!

Instead of dying GAY AND MISERABLE. . , like that dem SAVIOR!!!!

ShiooooooooooooYOR!!!!

Mr. Kanwulia Sir, I know what you're insinuating.... That part of ur post that reads "like that them Savior"., i know what u trynna say... But pls sir, don't bring it on! It sure won't end well. Thanks Sire. Peace.