I admit I am a radical. My faith is
radical. I want to put Jesus’
teachings and values to practical
use as I live and walk through my
faith. Sometimes it can be tough.
You’ve got people and, in many
cases, society who block your
way and oppress you. Other
times you may be betrayed by
those close to you. They won’t
want to walk the same radical
path to Jesus as you do. This is
the reality of the path I’ve
chosen.
Writing about this subject brings
much pain to me, because it
tackles issues that I’ve been
struggling with since I was really
young. It deals with rejection, the
fringes of society, outcasts,
oppression and mirrors the
image of the people Jesus
walked amongst during his
ministry.
Most Christians know the
traditional view on the Bible and
homosexuality. It usually doesn’t
take very long until you hear
about some pastor or some
famous Christian saying
something about gays, lesbians,
and queers. Overwhelmingly,
many of the things said are
negative, and oppressive.
I remember when that North
Carolina pastor spoke on putting
queers in concentration camps1
and killing them off. At first I was
angry and I first felt the need for
direct action and protest. Sounds
easy right? Some protests with
direct action to battle and shatter
the homophobia of some pastor.
For me it’s not so easy. See, I
knew who that pastor was
talking about when he made
those comments. He was talking
about me and countless others.
He was talking about me, a child
of Jesus who was molded in the
image of our creator.
Immediately after my anger
subsided it turned to shock,
sadness, hurt and disbelief. No
amount of radicalism or direct
action could replace the hole in
my soul.
At that moment I didn’t feel like a
Christian, I didn’t feel like my old
progressive radical self, I felt like
a piece of garbage. To be honest,
I curled up in my bed and cried
for several hours. I felt that
demeaned and outcasted. Not
since my parents rejected me
had I felt so rejected.
This is the reality of my life.
I’m pretty sure of my political
affiliation. I don’t think there’s an
exact word to describe me, but
I’m pretty radical and
progressive. My faith as a
Christian and of that in Jesus is
my guide on my path. These
things I’m sure of.
What I’m not so sure of is where
my being gay fits into all of this.
It’s tough. Even though I’m a
radical Christian who believes in
progressive ideals and causes, I
still worry. I worry about what
the Bible says about me. I worry
about what other Christians will
think about me. And many times
when I walk into a Church—even
a more progressive and radical
Church—I hold my head low, my
shoulders droop, and I worry
about someone discovering the
truth. In effect, in many Church
environments I don’t feel so safe.
It makes me sad because that
isn’t what Jesus was like. Jesus
interacted and liberated all sorts
of people who society and the
ancient Jewish faith had rejected:
the disabled, the sick, the poor,
prostitutes, the list goes on and
on. I take great comfort in those
parables and stories of Jesus
defending those like me.
Jesus was so radical that he
ministered to those who other
Jewish people were not even
allowed to speak or approach.
I pray a lot to Jesus. I pray that I’ll
be accepted by the Church for
something that I couldn’t help or
choose. I want to be safe and
radically loved in Church, just like
Jesus would. And I want to be
accepted. All of me—the good
and the bad.
It can be very lonely being queer.
In a heterosexist society it’s easy
for a male or a female who is
straight to fall in love and share
eternity together. But for me,
falling in love is something I fear
with desperation. I live in a world
that is hostile, and one that
believes in a faith that at times
can be oppressive, and I fear that
I will be shunned even more if it
happens. What is wrong with
that picture?
I remember reading the article “A
Holy Queering part 3.” I very
much enjoyed the stories of
those who were “sex positive.”
I sincerely wish I too could be
sex positive. I wish I didn’t have
to be afraid to fall in love with
another man and form a life
partnership with him. If only
there was no stigma to such love
I wouldn’t be so lonely.
Although Jesus showed a
different kind of love
(nonromantic), he wasn’t afraid
to show radical love to others
who had never experienced it
before. I wish it could be the
same with the other Christians I
have interacted with. I wish they
would show the same radical
love and liberation that I try and
strive to show and give.
And then maybe, just maybe, the
stigma, depression, conflict and
self-hated I have for myself for
being gay would go away.
Yes, this is my struggle. But it is
important to remember that I’m
not the only one who is
struggling. It is my hope and
prayer to Jesus and our creator
that there’s a change for better
in the way the Church deals with
this issue.

www.jesusradicals.com/reconciling-faith-sexuality/