Intresting.

Ishilove:
You have a point. Someone like me wouldn't be caught dead in a matchmaking event because of the reasons you mentioned. However there is nothing wrong in attending a singles programme (in Christianity).

I agree with some parts of the article: two young people should never be alone together because that is when the devil might start cooking things in the laboratory of your heart, but how many people will agree? I as a person don't believe in all these dating nonsense because it is an invitation to sin. It is the world and it's wicked ways that have made people believe that it is alright to date.

As for the family involvement part...well, I don't know... Really, must my parents matchmake me? Knowing my mum, she'd prolly choose the old skool kind of man for her daughters because she believes most 'yuppy' men of nowadays are a dangerous bunch. Let the family do the investigations while the young fella brings the candidate.

I have question: what happens if the muslim man sees a sister on the road and develops a liking for her? Let's say he is a store owner and the lady in xtion passes by everyday? Is it allowed fot the man to go and 'toast' her.

All in all, I think there are no differences between rules guiding muslim and christian courtship.

Hello, nice to read your thoughts on the matter. As for your question, in such a scenario, he can introduce himself to her, what his plans are and then collect basic contact details like her family home address and her number for communication purposes. No matter how direct he wants to be, going to her family home unheralded is not advisable. Hence, there will have to be some basic communication between them.

After this, he will have to get serious about whom her guardian is and how to contact them if she likes him enough.

maclatunji:

Hello, nice to read your thoughts on the matter. As for your question, in such a scenario, he can introduce himself to her, what his plans are and then collect basic contact details like her family home address and her number for communication purposes. No matter how direct he wants to be, going to her family home unheralded is not advisable. Hence, there will have to be some basic communication between them.

After this, he will have to get serious about whom her guardian is and how to contact them if she likes him enough.

My goodness!! If a man approaches me on the road and tells me he would like to marry me I'll freak out!
I disagree with you. Why would a woman give just any man that approaches her on the streets her number?? Isn't the sister allowed to shakara small?

Interesting essay. Jazakummullahu khairan.

Ishilove:
My goodness!! If a man approaches me on the road and tells me he would like to marry me I'll freak out!
I disagree with you. Why would a woman give just any man that approaches her on the streets her number?? Isn't the sister allowed to shakara small?

It is well-known that you women like to do this and I think that in spite of the superficial air of vanity surrounding it, it does have an intrinsic value which is to buy the lady time to make up her mind without giving an ill-considered hasty positive/negative response.

Having said this, it is advisable that she keeps her "shakara" in check.

I sense that you take my posts here as "definitive" of Islam on the matter. I am really not qualified for such a status even if I do try to keep my post and responses within the confines of Islam (to the best of my knowledge), I am not infallible.

Find Out!:
Interesting essay. Jazakummullahu khairan.

Wa iyakum, glad you find it interesting.

maclatunji:

It is well-known that you women like to do this and I think that in spite of the superficial air of vanity surrounding it, it does have an intrinsic value which is to buy the lady time to make up her mind without giving an ill-considered hasty positive/negative response.

Having said this, it is advisable that she keeps her "shakara" in check.

I sense that you take my posts here as "definitive" of Islam on the matter. I am really not qualified for such a status even if I do try to keep my post and responses within the confines of Islam (to the best of my knowledge), I am not infallible.

@bolded, from the Islamiv POv, why is this?

Ishilove:
My goodness!! If a man approaches me on the road and tells me he would like to marry me I'll freak out!
I disagree with you. Why would a woman give just any man that approaches her on the streets her number?? Isn't the sister allowed to shakara small?

Shakara at your own risk!!! (just kidding)

Sincerely speaking, this shakara attitude of some ladies is what scares many good guy off. It doesnt mean they aint get the guts or not bold enough.
When u knew a guy might be good for u and same guy approached u, if u must shakara, shakara with wisdom and maturity cos it might turn that guy off (having at d back of his mind that "perhaps, there are many better and good girls, what does she think she is?"

@MClatunji
Nice write up bro. I concur expecially on the part of prayer and Istikhara.
(May Allah guide us all to the right part)

COOL DK:

Shakara at your own risk!!! (just kidding)

Sincerely speaking, this shakara attitude of some ladies is what scares many good guy off. It doesnt mean they aint get the guts or not bold enough.
When u knew a guy might be good for u and same guy approached u, if u must shakara, shakara with wisdom and maturity cos it might turn that guy off (having at d back of his mind that "perhaps, there are many better and good girls, what does she think she is?"

@MClatunji
Nice write up bro. I concur expecially on the part of prayer and Istikhara.
(May Allah guide us all to the right part)

Exactly!! I do my shakara with wisdom o, though at the end of the day the guys are not usually worth it

Prayer is very important in the choice of a life partner, because with God, you can never go wrong

Ishilove:
@bolded, from the Islamiv POv, why is this?

I am on mobile and can't see the bolded. #Sorry

Salam alaikum,haram relationships are like the "in thing" right now.....there are people who actually know some kind of body contact with the opposite sex who is a non-mahram is wrong but still do it anyway.No one is perfect is usually the excuse.Just have these at the back of your mind------>if he has no iman,he is not fit to be your man and if she is not in the deen,she is not fit to be your queen

Nice post @Op . The issue of courtship in Islam is a very interesting one considering the prevalent social mess we find ourselves in as muslims in recent times.It takes the mercy and fear of Allah to remain firm and not get sucked into the fitnah.
I'm particularly fascinated by the area of match-making and being a consultant for people.Alhamdulilah,I'm married ,but its just something I'm passionate about.interestingly,people around me have taken notice of this and now ask me for referrals.But there are some times you come up empty.sometimes I have sisters on hand,but I don't have serious,and ready brothers to match them with and vice-versa.my question is,how(and I mean,islamic) do you source for serious and ready brothers and sisters? Hope I am not derailing the thread?

Coco diva: Nice post @Op . The issue of courtship in Islam is a very interesting one considering the prevalent social mess we find ourselves in as muslims in recent times.It takes the mercy and fear of Allah to remain firm and not get sucked into the fitnah.
I'm particularly fascinated by the area of match-making and being a consultant for people.Alhamdulilah,I'm married ,but its just something I'm passionate about.interestingly,people around me have taken notice of this and now ask me for referrals,and alhamdulilah,my efforts have been blessed with a few nikah.But there are some times you come up empty.sometimes I have sisters on hand,but I don't have serious,and ready brothers to match them with and vice-versa.my question is,how(and I mean,islamic) do you source for serious and ready brothers and sisters? Hope I am not derailing the thread?

It is like you are about to go professional with this. Well, you can't always manufacture willing grooms for the sisters because quite frankly the brothers have to be ready especially in terms of finance.

However, if you want to expand and take this seriously, you have to start thinking like a business person (don't be put off by the word, you can be ethical with it).

You can advertise on social media, newspapers etc for suitable single men who are willing to marry. You screen them properly: check their jobs, bank statements, family background, criminal history etc. With this, you can see why it has become a business.

So, the well to do single sisters can drop a fee whilst the brothers should be encouraged to contribute something if they find a wife through you. It can also be reversed with men seeking wives.

The possibilities are huge if it is something you want to do.

maclatunji:

It is like you are about to go professional with this. Well, you can't always manufacture willing grooms for the sisters because quite frankly the brothers have to be ready especially in terms of finance.

However, if you want to expand and take this seriously, you have to start thinking like a business person (don't be put off by the word, you can be ethical with it).

You can advertise on social media, newspapers etc for suitable single men who are willing to marry. You screen them properly: check their jobs, bank statements, family background, criminal history etc. With this, you can see why it has become a business.

So, the well to do single sisters can drop a fee whilst the brothers should be encouraged to contribute something if they find a wife through you. It can also be reversed with men seeking wives.

The possibilities are huge if it is something you want to do.

Is the bolded advisable? There are a lot of psychos out there who have good jobs and good family background but are psychos nonetheless

Ishilove:
My goodness!! If a man approaches me on the road and tells me he would like to marry me I'll freak out!
I disagree with you. Why would a woman give just any man that approaches her on the streets her number?? Isn't the sister allowed to shakara small?

Me wey approach my wife for public transport nko

Jarus:

Me wey approach my wife for public transport nko

Did you propose marriage to her on the bus?

Ishilove:
Is the bolded advisable? There are a lot of psychos out there who have good jobs and good family background but are psychos nonetheless

The single lady who says yes to a single guy without any 3rd party involvement bears the same risk. There should be a legal agreement with her clients which states that whilst her organisation will try its best to present responsible potential spouses, the decision to accept them exclusively lies with the clients and by extension any liability arising from it.

There is no human endeavour without risk, what we try to do is to mitigate it.

Ishilove:
Is the bolded advisable? There are a lot of psychos out there who have good jobs and good family background but are psychos nonetheless

exactly what i wanted to point out. We are humans so, avenue like that could signify nothing but 'bad market'. lolz

@maclatunji,thanks for the response. I have not given much thought to making it big,but would consider it and look at the possibility. Its just that, it will also come with its own challenge especially on the part of the brothers.
@Ishilove,I get your point,and just as @maclatunji pointed,its entirely up to both parties to be watchful and guided.even though there are some background checks I try to do before linking both parties up for the first meeting.but then,there's no 100% guarantee in anything in life