For a while now, I have noticed that when ladies want to break up from a relationship, they don't really have the guts to do so. WHY?!!

As a lady, you have dated a guy for quite some time; you both took the effort to nurture the relationship, became best of friends, carry each other along in all your activities, made you known by his family and friends(same as yours), gained his trust, and sometimes, he fantacizes his future with you etc etc. Then, along the line, you found out that you might not be his sole mate(relationship-wise; for whatever reason) or probably started seeing another guy that you really dig......then why can't you break it off with the former guy OFFICIALLY?

A lot of times(from my personal observation though), most girls will start acting funny; no calls, keeping distance, cancelling dates with unreasonable excuses, telling heavy lies, taking the guy for granted, etc. And these things hurt....they really do!!

What will it cost you ladies to sit your guy down and tell him your reason for wanting the break up, no matter how hurtful it may sound at that moment, instead of acting up?

N.B
This is not one of those female bashing threads, I'm just wondering why girls act that way.

At dis particular junction, I must say u ar a survival!!! How many hrt breaks av u survived? D worst is d heart breaks don by politicians. Damn, cum 2015, I will break sum hrts.

Bros......I don't have any other choice than to survive now , but my tenure don pass since. Na my guys e dey happen to, and e dey pain me. But funny enough, I think a lot of guys have experienced such from ladies. We plenty like cockroach!!

They don't know that their last minute action always discredits all their good attitude/action during the relationship, and the most annoying part is when you finally try to move on, they'll claim they still want to retain the "FRIENDSHIP". Why didn't they put that into consideration before acting up in the first place?....making the guy lose all the respect and trust he once had for her. Or who would want to make friends with someone that will tell a lie straight to your face? (For me...........that's my biggest turn-off). That's kind of childish.


But still on the matter; I want to hear people's opinion especially the ladies on why they prefer that style of breaking up.

Op, lets just say we are scared of the SLAP that will follow, if we decide to summon courage the way you want it. #just joking#

But, seriously, thats women for you. I ve done it too. Maybe, because i dnt ve strenght to talk or explaining to him.

I expected him to see the hand writting on the wall. Meanwhile, i ve also being dumped like that by a guy too.

nyere84: Op, lets just say we are scared of the[b] SLAP[/b] that will follow, if we decide to summon courage the way you want it.

But, seriously, thats women for you. I ve done it too. Maybe, because i dnt ve strenght to talk or explaining to him.

I expected him to see the hand writting on the wall. Meanwhile, i ve also being dumped like that by a guy too.

Yo Miss, I don't think a reasonable guy would slap a lady just because she broke up with him. Besides, guys are not that violent these days(except a few jerks).
And the other bolded part, are you saying that is the way majority of ladies naturally behave when they want a break up? i.e. a REFLEX action?

Please break it down, and let the guys learn a few things about ladies.

.

fr3ddi3:


Yo Miss, I don't think a reasonable guy would slap a lady just because she broke up with him. Besides, guys are not that violent these days(except a few jerks).
And the other bolded part, are you saying that is the way majority of ladies naturally behave when they want a break up? i.e. a REFLEX action?

Please break it down, and let the guys learn a few things about ladies.

I'm behind you bruv....especially with the bolded question.

DonCrust:

What are you trying to say pls? That guys are fund of beating up our partners? Maybe your guy always slap taste out of your mouth but that doesn't make all guys the same?
If I may ask you, isn't every relationship based on agreement between two people? If your answer is yes, then i see no reason why you't talk your way out of the relationship without insult that begets slap

You really got my gist.

There has to be a break up once the relationship is not going anywhere. Every ministry has to move to a permanent site

i wld prefer d signs n have a gradual brkup if i really care bout d chic...cos i knw for sure i'd loose my temper if she has d guts to say it to my face without givin signs. Jst sayin d signs will enabl me prepare for wats to cum...jst d way Jesus has givn us signs of His coming.
I swear, i fit punch her lips bend if she no gemme signs n no b say i go mean to do am bt na outta reflex

we do it coz we don't want you to commit suicide or become a social recluse, coz we care about you eventhough we are moving on.

so how would you feel if we just walk up to you one fine day and tell you "its over, its not you its me" just like dat?

im all for dropping the bombshell and moving on but i don't want anyone's blood on my hands so....the signs are to prepare you for our inevitable irrational act. it should be in stages with good techniques and methods to soften the blow......... its just like terminating an employment

u want dem 2 be poured acid abi......na naija we dey ooo...craze no dey show 4 face!

@gree-die and botty-butt chic, i feel you babes.

Guys, we dont ve any reason at all oooo. But, let just say is because we dont ve strenght to start answering questions like....,

Wat did i do wrong??
Ve u gotten someone better than me??
Do you want me to die??
Dont you love me again?? Etc

Lastly, is not only ladies that do this ooo, guys are also guilty of it too.

My advice..., weneva u notice those alttiude in ur partner. Pls, quielty walk away, “Dont lose urself, trying to hold on to wat is no longer real“.

You are bold enough to date a guy for a number of times. In that time, he takes you out (he pays) he sends you airtime, you enjoy his company and suddenly you think he is a monster that might slap you if you tell him it is over?

Please define silliness

Ladies, pls stop keeping the guy on hold, just summon the courage and do it via text message or phone call...

Mynd_44: You are bold enough to date a guy for a number of times. In that time, he takes you out (he pays) he sends you airtime, you enjoy his company and suddenly you think he is a monster that might slap you if you tell him it is over?

Please define silliness

why the word silliness??
For crying out loud, i was just joking. U were fast to type rubbish, witout seeing i ve modified my initial post.

Which man will slap a lady because she wants to opt out of a r/ship?? Come, mynd, u beta respect ur old age now.

nyere84: why the word silliness??
For crying out loud, i was just joking. U were fast to type rubbish, witout seeing i ve modified my initial post.

Which man will slap a lady because she wants to opt out of a r/ship?? Come, mynd, u beta respect ur old age now.

The silliness is not referring to you. If it was, I would have quoted you.

It is referring to everyone who says women do this cos of fear of some kind of violence (acid bath etc). Learn to read between words

nyere84: Op, lets just say we are scared of the SLAP that will follow, if we decide to summon courage the way you want it. #just joking#

But, seriously, thats women for you. I ve done it too. Maybe, because i dnt ve strenght to talk or explaining to him.

I expected him to see the hand writting on the wall. Meanwhile, i ve also being dumped like that by a guy too.

@ op some guys dont know how to handle break ups like normal,civilized human beings.i have seen ladies go and meet the guy in his house,sit him down to explain why she cant continue with the relationship and the next thing that followed was serious beating,rape or hot water baptism.many guys have this mentality that if i cant have you,no one else will .this is common with guys that have obsession issues with their girlfriends or are extremly jealous.wasnt it the other time that a girl went to meet her boyfriend to officially break up with him,weeks later the guy came in the guise of comming to beg her meanwhile that wasnt his genuine intention.he had come with acid hidden.while the girl was still saying no,before she could say jack robinson,he baptized her with acid so the best thing is too just avoid the guy completly and act up,once he gets the behavioural message,he will move on. *singing while sipping a cold glass of valentino* i'm only gonna break,break,break,break,break,break,break your heart,i'm only gonna break,break,break,break,break,break,break,o,o,o,o,o*

The signs are suppose to prepare you for the message.Ladies have sympathy and dont want guys we care abt suffering from heart atttack or high blood pressure.
But on a more serious smtimes they dont do it intentionally,smtimes they meet just friends who excite them or give them more attention than their boyfriends do and they start calling less,dont visit u often and all the signs op mentioned not intentionally even though they might not want a break up.

sh@dow-w@lker:
For a while now, I have noticed that when ladies want to break up from a relationship, they don't really have the guts to do so. WHY?!!

As a lady, you have dated a guy for quite some time; you both took the effort to nurture the relationship, became best of friends, carry each other along in all your activities, made you known by his family and friends(same as yours), gained his trust, and sometimes, he fantacizes his future with you etc etc. Then, along the line, you found out that you might not be his sole mate(relationship-wise; for whatever reason) or probably started seeing another guy that you really dig......then why can't you break it off with the former guy OFFICIALLY?

A lot of times(from my personal observation though), most girls will start acting funny; no calls, keeping distance, cancelling dates with unreasonable excuses, telling heavy lies, taking the guy for granted, etc. And these things hurt....they really do!!

What will it cost you ladies to sit your guy down and tell him your reason for wanting the break up, no matter how hurtful it may sound at that moment, instead of acting up?

N.B
This is not one of those female bashing threads, I'm just wondering why girls act that way.

OF COURSE they don't have the guts to do the breaking up.

https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils/7#11126660

But they would be the ones whinging and talking about "rules of engagement/decency" and making accusations that challenge your masculinity "you are not a real man; you don't have the balls to be straightforward".

So a real woman is suppose to be cunning, selfish and avoid all responsibilities (provision-wise and morally), while a real man has to be honest, altruistic and take on all responsibilities (provision-wise and moral).

I am sorry, let me correct myself, it is not only them that whinge. Also their mugu lap dogs, whom they part on the back as "real men", join them in whinging and challenging other men to be honest, altruistic and take on all responsibilities (provision-wise and morally).

When you say: "A lot of times(from my personal observation though), most girls will start acting funny; no calls, keeping distance, cancelling dates with unreasonable excuses, telling heavy lies, taking the guy for granted, etc. And these things hurt....they really do!!". Most women don't give a shyt! Guess what they would do if you ever said that in public as a complaint about them? They would challenge your masculinity.

"Maybe you did not know how to keep her" - basically you don't have game.

"Hey-ya, she really dealt with you and you are so bitter" - basically abeg no spoil show for us, stop whining and accept it.

Understand their desire:

https://www.nairaland.com/820236/what-not-after-first-date#9723514

I have studied women to the hilt and I have learnt to do what the fck I want and I am not honest, altruistic nor take on all responsibilities except she can prove to me that she is one of the few that are altruistic, loves the shyt out of you and is an investor. The minute she shows signs that her interest is dropping, enter market and get a new product.

DonCrust:

What are you trying to say pls? That guys are fund of beating up our partners? Maybe your guy always slap taste out of your mouth but that doesn't make all guys the same?
If I may ask you, isn't every relationship based on agreement between two people? If your answer is yes, then i see no reason why you't talk your way out of the relationship without insult that begets slap

Be gentle with her.

She is just doing what most women love to do when a clear-cut fault is found in them: "repudiate responsibility, reverse the blame to be on the guy and play innocent, helpless victim".

nyere84: @gree-die and botty-butt chic, i feel you babes.

Guys, we dont ve any reason at all oooo. But, let just say is because we dont ve strenght to start answering questions like....,

Wat did i do wrong??
Ve u gotten someone better than me??
Do you want me to die??
Dont you love me again?? Etc

Lastly, is not only ladies that do this ooo, guys are also guilty of it too.

My advice..., weneva u notice those alttiude in ur partner. Pls, quielty walk away, “Dont lose urself, trying to hold on to wat is no longer real“.

Yeah, like if women would quietly walk away.

Sweetie, women love the power to reject but cannot stomach being rejected.

When they are rejected is when the pity, moral and emotional blackmail sessions will begin:

https://www.nairaland.com/856511/how-end-8-years-old

https://www.nairaland.com/856511/how-end-8-years-old/1#10063521

https://www.nairaland.com/856511/how-end-8-years-old/2#10064241

After reading this story, you'll understand why they have such attitude
www.nairaland.com/1298161/man-bathes-girlfriend-acid

homesteady: After reading this story, you'll understand why they have such attitude
www.nairaland.com/1298161/man-bathes-girlfriend-acid

That is rubbish.

Exceptions are not grounds for generalisation.

Sagamite don vex

U go fear fear na

maybe its because some people r just scared of openly hurting others. I don't know what to say to this but guys also sometimes have bad ways of ending relationships. sometimes more hurtful like just stringing u along then u find out that tomorrow he is marrying someone else. Its just how life is. I have also noticed that the very same heart breaker feels like dying when she now sees the guy with a new lady especially if the lady is better than her

Monicasque: maybe its because some people r just scared of openly hurting others. I don't know what to say to this but guys also sometimes have bad ways of ending relationships. sometimes more hurtful like just stringing u along then u find out that tomorrow he is marrying someone else. Its just how life is. I have also noticed that the very same heart breaker feels like dying when she now sees the guy with a new lady especially if the lady is better than her

Nelly moment: "She's right you know. Shheee's right!"

Sagamite:

That is rubbish.

Exceptions are not grounds for generalisation.

one bad egg spoils the omelette!

I have always been a blunt person, even in my relationships and it has always gotten me in trouble,no matter how we demand it, humans rarely want d honest truth in a straightfoward manner, ican't tell u how many guys av called me "mean" simply because if i want a break,i come straight out and say so ,or if i dont want to date u i wont beat around d bush,even when i try if u ask me to be straightforward ,i'll say it den d same person will tell me"u r such a meanie". My sisters if beating around d bush defuses a potentially explosive situation, abeg beat till thy kingdom come.

didicold: I have always been a blunt person, even in my relationships and it has always gotten me in trouble,no matter how we demand it, humans rarely want d honest truth in a straightfoward manner, ican't tell u how many guys av called me "mean" simply because if i want a break,i come straight out and say so ,or if i dont want to date u i wont beat around d bush,even when i try if u ask me to be straightforward ,i'll say it den d same person will tell me"u r such a meanie". My sisters if beating around d bush defuses a potentially explosive situation, abeg beat till thy kingdom come.

You are right.

That is why I don't advocate men be honest as well.

I believe everyone should always do what is in their best interest with limited consideration so it is a level playing field.

@sagamite
No truer words av ever been spoken, coz ultimately everyone is looking out for number one