Lilimax: Are you saying he should be enslaved to the his family without facing his own immediate family? Little wonder most of them end up marrying very late...

eddiebruk:

It is not enslaving, it is giving back what you took from the Family, if they didn't train you in school there will be no woman out there who would want to marry an Illiterate+Jobless/clueless human being out there, These are Basic things that a man should do, if he ignores them, then he is living his life on his own fate because he will become an island to the family.


A man should learn how to control money by making money work for him and not him work for money, because as it is this man in question is using his emotions to think and not his head.

Fhemmmy:

inasmuch as you are so right, i still think it is selfish

cosby: go ahead and get married, the family involvement will never stop. you are just prolonging the days.

eddiebruk:

It is not being selfish bro, if he doesn't put things in order, soon or later enough after marriage he will ignore his family because by then the Liabilities will be too much on him coming from both his immediate family and his extended family, or even as far as the family of his wife.

Fhemmmy:

Yes, you are right, but would you agree that sooner or later, same mother will look at Musa on the other street that is of same age with his son that now has 2 kids and compare and contrast.
In another few years, same mother will tell the boy - She needs grand kids and she would have forgotten that "responsibilities" made the man old with no kids?
i think they could all come to some agreement on how to handle this while everyone's happiness is well taken cared of, at least to some extent

eddiebruk:


A man cannot succeed if he has things that are pulling him backwards, hence the need why he has to lay a solid foundation so as to relieve himself of what might be taking finance from him in the future, if he lives his life on hand to mouth, he is bound to fail, but if he relieves himself of some of the responsibility he will be taking care of in the future at this time before marriage, then he will have a better ground of saving when he gets married.

delpee: An understanding and patient fiancee can make things happen. It depends on her relationship with the family,her earning capacity (full time housewife is a no-no in this situation) and the ability of the man to convince his mum. The reality is that you cant have peace if your mum and siblings are not assisted one way or the other.

ycmdng: I pity guy wit sibling like a football team, as for me- any parnt dat fail to plan d family well wil bear d consequenc.
We four kid in our family graduatd frm d uni b4 any of d parnt retire frm thr wrk. LOBATAN

sexymoma: Tell him to get his wife pregnant or better still he should travel out of the country for some time then come back with his fiancee.


Shey the guy na jesus... wey be say he go die for their sin.
Let them get educated to his level too now so they can also earn the same amount.



I swear the mother of the man wont like his wife cos she is already hating her even when she hasn't seen her.

cosby: go ahead and get married, the family involvement will never stop. you are just prolonging the days.

sexymoma: Tell him to get his wife pregnant or better still he should travel out of the country for some time then come back with his fiancee.


Shey the guy na jesus... wey be say he go die for their sin.
Let them get educated to his level too now so they can also earn the same amount.



I swear the mother of the man wont like his wife cos she is already hating her even when she hasn't seen her.

Fhemmmy: Na wa oh - I will advice the guy to find a way to talk to the mother and plead with her cos he needs the mother's blessing and not fair for him to delay his life as well all in the name of "responsibility"
This is one of the reasons why i think self sponsor education is great, cos there is a possibiblty that his siblings sold pure water and beans for him to finish his school . . . I hope all work out for the guy.
Also, 1.1M Naira is a lot of money but for sure wont be able to take care of ALL of THEM - For God's sake, that is less than 100K a month

kennygee: Trust me, my dad did it, immediately he died, those same family members turned their baks on us and were the very ones giving my mum problems. It's not worth it, Your happiness is supreme, any family responsiblity can come after your husband or wife and kids.

Fhemmmy:

Not that simple and easy, cos a curse from a mother is not easy to deal with, at same time, we have no idea what the mother and even the siblings has passed through to get him to the 1.1M Naira annually recipient.

soul_glo:

Oh please. Is his mother God? The answer to that is no. Here are the things the OP's friend has listed that the mother wants. Renovate a house in the village. Help with his siblings education. Set up a shop for her. Renovating the house in the village should be out of the question. Helping the siblings in the University should not stop a man from getting married. Why? Because those siblings can also help themselves by doing something on the side to supplement the little their brother can afford. It should not all fall on him. There are people who got educated with no parents. They hustled. His siblings can hustle. The only one that makes some sense is setting up the business for his mother. This should also have a condition. Is this business being set up to actually pay for expenses or just a pit that he will keep putting money into for the next 10 years until Mama decides it is not worth it anymore. If he sets up a business and mama is working, siblings are also doing their hustle on the side and he is also contributing then there is no need to imprison a young man in his prime. A mother that would put a curse on her child because he decided to marry is not the mother you make sacrifices for. When the man starts having babies and non are boys and his mother tells him to marry another wife or she will curse him maybe he should run and do just that because of the fear of a curse. There's nothing to fear but fear itself.

Fhemmmy:

The mother dont have to be God, but you and i have no clue what and how the mother might have trained the guy to the level where he is

ycmdng: I pity guy wit sibling like a football team, as for me- any parnt dat fail to plan d family well wil bear d consequenc.
We four kid in our family graduatd frm d uni b4 any of d parnt retire frm thr wrk. LOBATAN

soul_glo:


It does not matter if she moved mountains with her own physical strength. It just doesn't. You do not put those types of pressures on your child. You made the choice to have the child. The child had no choice in the matter. He can help but she does not get to put these sort of pressures on him. That in itself is a curse.