This "peom" was inspired by the fact that, most times when i write, and give the stuff to my friends to read.

       After they are done. the next look i see on their faces " oh God, how im i sure this did not really happen to her".

        Its not a poem anyway cuz im no poet, it didn't happen to me too. Its just stuff i think, i'm sorry it's so full of s*x



         I HATED SEX

         MY MENTOR WANTED TO WRITE A BOOK ON SEX

         HE TOLD ME TO WRITE A CHAPTER ON SEX

         I SAID "I DONT LIKE SEX"

         HE SAYS "YOU DON'T NEED TO LIkE SEX

         TO WRITE ON SEX

         I WENT WROTE ON SEX

         I BROUGHT MY MENTOR THE CHAPTER ON SEX

         HE READ THE SEX

         HE SAYS "NOW I BELIEVE YOU VE NEVER HAD SEX"

         GO EXPLORE, THEN WRITE ON SEX

         I WENT READ ON SEX

         I VIEWED ENJOYED SEX

         I READ ABUSED SEX

         EVEN SPIRITUAL SEX

         I READ SEX

         UNTIL I WANTED TO HAVE SEX

         THEN I WROTE SEX

          AND GAVE MY MENTOR, THE CHAPTER ON SEX

          HE READS MY SEX

          LOOKS AT ME DOUBTFULLY, AND SAYS "DID YOU SAY YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX

(((CLAPPING)))))

Bubble this is OUTSTANDING!

The rhythm is so brilliantly done, you don't miss a step.

Nice work.

PS
Don't[b] EVER [/b]apologise for your work, okay? Anyone who has a problem with it can go take a long walk off a short pier.

It's whack. Sorry to burst your buble.

its cool. the guy saying its whack is just one of those dumb fcuks who need art explained to them

Sisikill, thanks for that good one, that was really encouraging.

@chukky 76

i'm happy you think it was nice thanks.

@ch3coo

sorry you didn't like it, i appreciate critics anyway, and its a free world so you can think freely about any peom or anything, but you not free to say you burst my bubble because, last time i checked, i was still,

chukky76:

its cool. the guy saying its whack is just one of those dumb fcuks who need art explained to them

Your ad hominem makes you look like the 'dumb Bleep'. The young woman welcomes our thoughts and I thought it was whack. We can always agree to disagree.

I know idiots like you who think they're cocky and funny yet dont have one bit of creative juice in them. you could have said "i dont think its good, you need to work on so so so" not a flat out i think its whack.

it is a great "poem" /piece of literary work with the nice comic twist at the end .

you are a dumb Bleep that needs art explained to you

she doesnt welcome our thoughts , our means people like her. i cant go to nasa and say their last rocket was whack because i havent the slightest idea how to build one. same applies here. you cant comment on what you dont understand hence your opinions are seriously not welcome

chukky76:

I know idiots like you who think they're cocky and funny yet don't have one bit of creative juice in them. you could have said "i don't think its good, you need to work on so so so" not a flat out i think its whack.

it is a great "poem" /piece of literary work with the nice comic twist at the end .

you are a dumb Bleep that needs art explained to you

she doesnt welcome our thoughts , our means people like her. i can't go to nasa and say their last rocket was whack because i havent the slightest idea how to build one. same applies here. you can't comment on what you don't understand hence your opinions are seriously not welcome

How did you jump to the conclusion that I am one of those idiots who thinks he's cocky and funny? You're either dimwitted, or just trying too hard to defend a lost cause. I'm not the kind of person to sugar coat what I think. You will never regulate the things I say, nor will I allow you to dictate to me how to say them. I said, and I repeat, "it's whack". Now, what part of that don't you understand?

And i'm sure you still don't get it. Rather than pop a vein in your neck to convince me that I am, in your opinion, a dumbf***k. It is better you give up now while realizing that nothing you say will ever cause me to change my mind. Especially not with the tone you have used to engage me. Meanwhile, something you still seem to be misunderstanding from my post is the concept of "thought". My thought at the time was, "it's whack," and that's my reason for chiming in with that post. If you disagree with it, that's okay. Just don't think you can attempt to coerce me into agreeing with your thoughts.

chukky76:

she doesnt welcome our thoughts , our means people like her. i can't go to nasa and say their last rocket was whack because i havent the slightest idea how to build one.

same applies here. you can't comment on what you don't understand hence your opinions are seriously not welcome

You are a daft.  Not only that.  You're also a good example of a person who uses stupid analogies where they don't apply.  YES! I CAN go to NASA and say their last rocket was whack if it doesn't perform its function, or especially when it exploded after so much of our taxpayers money has been drenched into building the shuttle. 

I'm seriously convinced that not even the most lucid of explanations can your open your mind.  Her description/title was not explicit.
What gives you the authority to decide who's welcome and who isn't? Nobody. Are you in a position any better than I am? No. There is no established criterion to define who does or doesn't understand the art.
"She doesn't welcome our thoughts, our means people like her."  Lol, what an illiterate.  Besides the fact that this is a public forum where all opinions are indeed welcome (except at the discretion of Seun), what part of "tell me what you think" don't you understand. This has got to be the most retarded post I've come across today.  Your mind is way too deep in the gutter.  If you need a concise definition of "our", then by all means please refer to the closest dictionary in your vicinity.  Seriously stop while you can, you're making yourself look very stupid and I urge you to save face.  Besides, how did you develop the idea that I don't understand?  Is it because I didn't find it fascinating, or because I thought it was whack?    Did you pull that thought out of your hat? So in your opinion, everyone with an opinion that does not "praise" what the thread starter posted doesn't understand the "art"?

Come now, Mr. CH3COO. . .you could have been more diplomatic and precise in your critique.

What do you think she could have done right,
What do you think she did wrong?

Just whack does not really cut it. We are here to encourage not put one another down.

all chucky76 is trying to say is that "WHACK" was taken it a lil bit too far. You could have easly said i didnt like it because,

Anyway, I love the poem.

@ CH3COO

Face it, what u did was not the best u could have done and someone just did exactly that 2 u and u're acting all upset. You thot her work was poor - that's not the crime - u attempted 2 mock it, or maul it - haba!
Ok, someone else thinks that that's "dumb" and u're acting like a wounded lion, trying to "kick kknowledge" _{according to Nas, the rapper}

Have u wondered how puerile it would have turned out if wildbubble had adopted your approach 2ward Chukky in responding 2 your impolite criticism?

Sisikill:

Come now, Mr. CH3COO. . .you could have been more diplomatic and precise in your critique.

What do you think she could have done right,
What do you think she did wrong?

Just whack does not really cut it. We are here to encourage not put one another down.

SeanT21:

all chucky76 is trying to say is that "WHACK" was taken it a little bit too far. You could have easly said i didnt like it because,

Anyway, I love the poem.

sk and st,
So what, I'm not denying that.  No one is here to police other people's responses or tone correctness for that matter.  If you don't like or feel comfortable with the way your work will be critiqued by critics, then don't post it.  She felt comfortable enough to present her work, and of course you should expect critics and well-wishers alike to post their comments.  I don't want to be diplomatic and I don't appreciate the attempts by people to censor or govern what I write. You're here writing about what you think I should have done.  I don't want to do what you think and that's why YOU are free to post your own thoughts. I write how I feel.  We're here for reasons more than encouragement; we can also be critical of one another.  If you're here to encourage, then more power to you.  I only responded to "what do you think". That's what I thought.  If anyone here is guilty of putting someone else down it is chukky.  He is hyperventilating over my post and could go into cardiac arrest any second now.  As I said before, our opinions differ. It's okay to disagree.  I have nothing against her (the poster) as a person.  I read what she posted and didn't find it outstanding. Big deal! Who wants to sue me?

nanaboi:

@ CH3COO

Face it, what u did was not the best u could have done and someone just did exactly that 2 u and u're acting all upset. You thot her work was poor - that's not the crime - u attempted 2 mock it, or maul it - haba!
Ok, someone else thinks that that's "dumb" and u're acting like a wounded lion, trying to "kick kknowledge" _{according to Nas, the rapper}

Have u wondered how puerile it would have turned out if wildbubble had adopted your approach 2ward Chukky in responding 2 your impolite criticism?

You face it.  People don't always do their best at everything.  Is it unfair? Yes.  So what? Life is not always fair.  Some you lose, some you win. I don't see you or anyone else choking over posts that have found the writing superb.  Why mine?  Is it because it didn't suit your taste? Probably.  Which is exactly why you feel my criticism is impolite. On top of that you are all over exaggerating what I wrote.  To be frank, you're being biased and unfair. Could you be anymore infantile and ridiculous?  chukky deserves way  more condemnation than I, but you're not exactly scolding him as much as you should be, are you?  Maybe you chose to judge me by a different standard. I apologize if you think I'm overreacting.  If you (chukky) have learned anything at all from your schools or the educated people around you, then you would understand that it's alright for me to post what I did.  Leave the censorship to the moderators and admins.  If at all you people have a problem with what I jotted, you could have easily asked me to explain why I think it's "just whack".  Unfortunately I won't do that now, most especially since that close-minded dolt, chukky, is speaking as though his is a voice of reason and authority.  Instead, you have ignored arguably the most noble rule of dialogue, and like your thin-minded friend you're being barbaric and screaming hell fire.  How am I acting like a wounded lion when the wounded lion here with his ego hurt is none other than chukky?  I don't succumb easily to unreasonable attacks so don't expect me to roll over just because you disagree with my two cents.  If topic starter doesn't find my post to her delight that's okay.  I will respond accordingly.  Fortunately, she's receptive of both positive affirmation and criticism.

I do not understand why things have degenerated to this extent. Over time I have always been irritated by people who say that critics should give a reason for their negative feedback especially when most of the time, nobody asks gushing sycophants why they have left "I love it" or "It is great" or "you are gifted" kind of feedback. What exactly do they love? Is it the rhyming sequence? Is it the poetic licence? Is it the narrative verse? Is it the Iambic pentameter? What exactly is admired?

While it may be useful for a writer to get a reason for a particular feedback, it is not mandatory in a forum like this that the person who leaves a feedback must give reasons or expantiate or even give any tips/advice as to how the writer can improve his/her work.

So it may be said that Ch3coo is not a particularly polite person when criticising another person's work, that is his problem and since he has not overtly insulted people with his criticism, the best thing would be to ignore what he says if you do not like it. There is no need to go calling him a "dumb Bleep" and all such names. And there is no need for all these long epistles. Let us at least try to be civil.

Back to the topic, I think the poem (if that is what it is) is not particularly good.

CH3COO & True Brit
You both have a point, no one should be forced to do anything they don't want to do.

Case closed.
i set out to prove a point,  that criticism is easy when its being given  but how many of us can

take it?

i havent met wildbuble but i've seen her posts and i know that this is one girl who is crazy ,

passionate even about writing and such a spirit shld be nurtured, not shot down especially not at the

early stages where shes trying to gain her confidence as a writer, but then only a writer  could

understand that and you obviously not one, being able to hold a sentence or two doesn't count.

, criticism is allowed,  but not stupid blatant shoot downs.

you couldnt even stand two seconds of my criticising you but it was so easy to type out "i think its

whack"

don't serve up what you can't eat

to every man and his own,  i didnt even read your rant, your of strictly no consequence to me, 

btich

go jump off a bridge.

P.s you cant go to nasa and say the last spaceship was whack becos it only exploded becos a piece of scaffolding struck the hull of the ship which chipped off a piece of insulation foam on the ship making it unable to stand the heat of re-entry.

it was a freak incident, nothing in itself was wrong with the ship. but then again i dont expect you to know that,

you're the dumb Bleep tht needs everything explained

@wildbubble,i like the rhyme & the last verse,which i find funny. Apart frm dat i'd say this is a nice start.keep improving & u'll be good


@chukky76, u are taking dis way overboard, how dare u call sum1 a bitch,jst because d person expressed his/herself's opinion? Dis is really getting out of hand,nd it must be stopped.u cant go about insulting urselves on dis forum. It's really bad nd must stop

It is a fact of life that people who have limited powers of articulation often (in the absence of little or no provocation) resort to verbal abuse and profanities. And this is clearly evident here.

I doubt Wildbubble would appreciate anyone resorting to verbal violence on her behalf. In good conscience, everyone should please ignore Chukky76. This is the literature section and we do not need uncouth behaviours here.

OH please,
its like you jsut clicked on my name and copied from my previous psotings cos anyone whose been here long enough knows that that has been my pay off, only the intellectually challenged sling insults.

i'm doing it on purpose,
i'm egging him on becos saying someone is a btich and a dumb Bleep is less painful than belittling his/her talent and calling it whack.

theres something called constructive criticism and theres something called an outright stupid statement. you say we should ignore it. had mandela and martin luther king and al sharpton and the rest of the fighters we have out there been the type who would sit back and accept all that was wrong in the world, then God save us,

its never ever ever acceptable to write something or someone off as whack

someone has come to the "literary section" and written one of us off as whack and i'm doing the loyal thing of defending her but your solution is to ignore me.

what a joke.

but then its a huge joke that after reading my posts on this topic and probably reading my other posts site-wide and probably visiting my blog you can label me as having "limited powers of articulation"

what a joke!!

@True Brit,I totally agree with u. Let's reply 2 d topic nd not deviate

Well, that's why i called it a "poem". just a piece that crossed my mind and i thought it funny.(I thought i explained that at the beginning). Or maybe i could have called it "A piece". Anyway, i'm glad some people loved it, and i would say i'm sorry to all those the stuff irritated. Ok, let's stop all the , and start really talking about my controversial "piece"

wildbuble keep doing your thing, dont ever ever let anyone put you down.

only accept criticsim as long as its constructively and tastefully done. you dont have to take b u l l s h it in the name of criticism.

like they say opinions are like aresohles, everyones got em

@poster it is good that you love writing but i didn't really like it.There is room for improvement,read poems and articles from other people or after writing find someone to proof read it for you.btw stay away from the sex topic .Goodluck

only exploded because a piece of scaffolding struck the hull of the ship which chipped off a piece of insulation foam on the ship making it unable to stand the heat of re-entry.

Liar liar, tits on fire. Booster failure ultimately led to the explosion of discovery, dummy. Don't invent your own conspiracy.

As wiki summarily put it, "an O-ring seal in its right solid rocket booster (SRB) failed at liftoff. The seal failure caused a breach in the SRB joint it filled, allowing a flare to reach the outside and impinge upon the adjacent attachment hardware and external fuel tank. The SRB breach flare led to the separation of the right-hand SRB and the structural failure of the external tank. Aerodynamic forces promptly broke up the orbiter. The shuttle was destroyed and all seven crew members were killed."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Challenger_disaster

"One of the pieces on the huge rocket boosters that lifts the shuttle into orbit did not work correctly. This piece was called an O-ring, and it was part of the shuttle’s right rocket booster. The O-ring is like a giant rubber washer, just like the washer in your sink faucet. Because it was very cold on the morning of the launch, the O-ring did not work correctly. It allowed hot gases to leak out of the rocket booster. Flames from inside the rocket booster shot out of the place where the O-ring was supposed to be. These flames burned a hole in the shuttle’s external fuel tank and caused the rocket booster to break off, creating an even bigger hole in the fuel tank. The fuels in the tank mixed and created a giant fireball, tearing apart the shuttle."
http://library.thinkquest.org/J002040F/space_shuttle_challenger_disaster.htm

Now, those are two sources (more available) explaining the accident. In disagreement with your morbid lie. I mean according to you it only exploded because it was struck by a scaffolding, right? As if. Stick to hurling insults will you?

chukky76:
its like you jsut clicked on my name and copied from my previous psotings because anyone whose been here long enough knows that that has been my pay off, only the intellectually challenged sling insults.

Lol @ this jokester, it's like you found the perfect phrase to describe yourself. The most glaring point you proved thus far is that you are intellectually handicapped. Clap for yourself.  Are you forgetting that insults are your forte? I don't think you reason before typing.  Your insults are hardly significant to me.  I almost pissed my pants laughing when I read your post; if anything it is comical.  You are being a troll, and are making a complete brainless fool out of yourself. Nagging like a little boy, throwing a fit because you can't have your way about something.  For the sake of staying on topic, I will ignore your disjointed insult-riddled posts and honor the girl's topic.  I beg you to stop.  You are just about irritating everyone now; vomitting and crying unconsolably all over the place.  It's sad to see an adult behave in this manner.

CH3COO:

Lol @ this jokester, it's like you found the perfect phrase to describe yourself. The most glaring point you proved thus far is that you are intellectually handicapped. Clap for yourself. Are you forgetting that insults are your forte? I don't think you reason before typing. Your insults are hardly significant to me. I almost pissed my pants laughing when I read your post; if anything it is comical. You are being a troll, and are making a complete brainless fool out of yourself. Nagging like a little boy, throwing a fit because you can't have your way about something. For the sake of staying on topic, I will ignore your disjointed insult-riddled posts and honor the girl's topic. I beg you to stop. You are just about irritating everyone now; vomitting and crying unconsolably all over the place. It's sad to see an adult behave in this manner.

LOL. Now even I thought that was funny. I was even more amused that the deluded man has practically accused me of plagiarising his posts. Heaven knows I have no idea what on earth he is on about as most of my time on Nairaland is spent on the literature section and the people whose posts I follow are doyens of the literature section like Orikinla, SMC and Ndipe. Pity they hardly appear here nowadays (probably because the place is overrun by unintelligent rants like those witnessed above).

Once again, in the spirit of good conscience, ignore the performing masquerade and let's get back on track.

@ Wildbubble, I am not sure about others (as I can only speak for myself), but I do not think your "poem" or "piece" elicited feelings of irritation. Someone else may be responsible for such feelings. I just thought it was not very good, that's all.

I believe it was Carnegie ^{(please feel free to correct me)} who said “If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it”

Yeah, this is not the Pulitzer Prize Review Board but it doesn’t mean we can use this forum to help one another. By opening this thread, she opened herself for both positive and negative comments and no one is saying don’t say negative things because it would be counterproductive to growth. What is being said is. . . give her ideas on how she can improve, I honestly don’t understand why this such a big deal? It’s not like those who said they liked it didn’t give their reasons for doing so. . . albeit in the most simplistic way, which is really all that is required. I mean what would it take to write “I didn’t like it because it was too long” or “I don’t like it because it made no sense”. . .anything that might bring a change for the better.



@ Bubble
I love your attitude and the way you’ve handled this whole thing…it shows a certain maturity that some of us lack. Keep doing what you are doing and remember we are all work in progress.

And it was Malcolm X who said "If you have no critics you'll likely have no success" and Aristotle who said "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing" and S. Clark who said "It is easy to flatter and massage peoples ego but takes guts to to stand up to them and criticise".

There are always quotes that can be found to support one point or the other no matter how absurd they may be (they are simply that, mere quotes by famous people and not binding forces of law).

True Brit:

And it was Malcolm X who said "If you have no critics you'll likely have no success" and Aristotle who said "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing" and S. Clark who said "It is easy to flatter and massage peoples ego but takes guts to to stand up to them and criticise".

There are always quotes that can be found to support one point or the other no matter how absurd they may be (they are simply that, mere quotes by famous people and not binding forces of law).

True.





SisiKill:

SeanT and the infamous chukky didn't give  their reasons for liking the composition.  No one is pointing a gun to their heads because their feedback is considered positive.

@Ch3coo, Sisikill said something about rhythm as to why she liked the poem but none of the other two did give a reason. But like I said, nobody needs to give a reason. It may be more desirable to do so, but should not be a reason for chastisement if one doesn't.

I concur.

True Brit:

And it was Malcolm X who said "If you have no critics you'll likely have no success" and Aristotle who said "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing" and S. Clark who said "It is easy to flatter and massage peoples ego but takes guts to to stand up to them and criticise".

There are always quotes that can be found to support one point or the other no matter how absurd they may be (they are simply that, mere quotes by famous people and not binding forces of law).

I agree with the part in bold part, I don't have a problem with criticism, I welcome it and I'm sure Bubble also does or she wouldn't have put herself out here. I can't speak for others but what I see as the issue here is not that you didn't flatter her or massage her ego, it is about not giving the a chance to improve by telling her what you thought was wrong with it.

That's all it is.

Like I stated earlier, you two have a point. . .no one can be forced to do something they don't want to, I just didn't think helping someone out would be such a biggie.

CH3COO:

I concur.

How will you feel chucky if you made a song and you ask people for their oppinions and someone said it was "WHACK".

wont it hurt your feelings and makes you wanna give up rapping/singing.

I understand that you are trying to "KEEP IT REAL" but sometimes keeping it real goes wrong and hurt people feelings.

so to help give a reason why you think it is whack so she could improve on it.

the reason i didnt give reason why i thought the poem was good is because most times they care to hear the negative reasoning. It helps them improve.

, but your post was a lil bit rude.