Ok..Simple Question: “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?”

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want To know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us.
There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES:
I have just witnessed eChicken2013 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

THE BIBLE:
And God uttered His voice from heaven, and He said unto the chicken, THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

A TYPICAL NIGERIAN:
Why are you asking me why the chicken crossed the road? abi your own lost? Abeg, i no want wahala o! I am innocent. Jo, if dem send you come meet me, tell dem say you no jam me for house.

GEJ:
It's a manifestation of our transformation Agenda

GANI:
Why wont the chicken cross the road? When there is no light in her house. No fuel in her car! No food in her stomach! No job to do! Armed robbers are after her eggs, the schools are closed,..... ....why wont it cross to the other side?

HON. PATRICK:
The question strikes to mind a perpendicularity of oblivious occurrences. The rationale for the crawling species of the hen folk for advancing across the broadway to the obvious greener side, portrays a phantasmagoric allegory in my homosapious mind, that there is a reason. The metaphoric proposition may be that it is an act of protestism against the government of the day and hence justifying it subconscious mind that she has done her civil
biddings.

PLATO:
For the greater good.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

MACHIAVELLI:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

JACQUES DERRIDA:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

THOMAS DE TORQUEMADA:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

DOUGLAS ADAMS :
Forty-two.

NIETZSCHE:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

OLIVER NORTH:
National Security was at stake.

B.F. SKINNER:
Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

CARL JUNG:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads atthis historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

ARISTOTLE:
To actualize its potential.

BUDDHA: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

CHRIS OKOTIE:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such a herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

DARWIN:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the tree.

EMILY DICKSON:
Because it could not stop for death.

EPICURUS:
For the fun of it.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

JOHANN VON GOETHE:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

WEINER HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

DAVID HUME:
Out of custom and habit.

JACK NICHOLSON:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)reason.

PYRRHO THE SKEPTIC:
What road?

RONALD REAGAN:
I forgot.
.
THE SPHINX:
You tell me.

Mr. T:
If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the
marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.

Molly Yard:
It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea:
To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer:
So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth:
To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather:
I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats:
Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake:
To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello:
Jealousy.

Dr Johnson:
Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher:
This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet:
There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka:
Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift:
It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth:
To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead:
Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud:
An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet:
That is not the question.

Donne:
It crosseth for thee.

Pope:
It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable:
To get a better view.

Me:
If I say -end-
you say -time-
and another man says -tinz-
omo na u sabi o


SOURCE: VARIOUS...lol