Each day I go out in Nigeria, I see lots of people behave in a very unruly manner having little or no regards for orderliness and people in authority. But if you travel abroad and meet this same set of Nigerians you will find out they behave in an entirely different manner and show utmost regards to the authorities over there. This dual personality/ double standards exhibited by most Nigeriand baffles me and i want to know.....

Why do we always behave so unruly and harsh towards our fellow Nigerians treating each other as if we are less important but we value treat foreigners like demi gods?

Why do we like to shunt or play smart especially while driving or when we meet queues in places like banks, filling stations, motor parks, registration points, etc but when we go to shopping in malls abroad or train stations outside Nigeria we gladly join the Que and patiently wait for our turn even if it extends the next 2 blocks?

Why do always have to be late to our places of work, places of worship and events we are invited to under the guise of 'African time' but when an embassy gives us appointment by 7.00 am we get there even before 5.00 am?

Why do we break traffic rules and drive recklessly in Nigeria but once we go abroad we adhere to the speed limits?

Why do we have no regards for authority in Nigeria?we all know some policemen are corrupt, some military men are brutal, some vio, lastma and road safety officials are always looking for ways to extort from us but hey they are there for a purpose so why cant we just respect them?

I remember back then National Orientation Agency had a nice jingle airing on NTA and the song went like " ABCC acts for behavioral change campaign its about you and me, a journey we must start' ............ CHANGE begins with you and I.

So i ask why the double standards ?

Nice thread. I can sense the spirit of frontpage on it. Jah Jehovah!!! Mimo!

The Same Reason Why You Would Eat Two Plates Of Rice In Your House And Eat Half Of A Plate At A Family Firend's.

The Same Reason Why You'd Say Anything To Your Parents And Be Reserved Around Other Adults.

The Same Reason Why You'd Use Cuss Words Playfully With Your Male/ Female And You'll Be The Cool Chick/Guy When You're With Some Random Strange Guy/Girl.

So Many Instances I Could Go On Mentioning. The Reason Isn't Far-Fetched. Its More Like The 'I'm In My Zone' Mentality. Where Nothing Will Happen To You Cos Its Where You're Naturally A Part Of. Unlike Foreign Or Strange Places.

You Understand.

There's No Reason Really.

You feel more relaxed in your "home" and tend to break rules. You can decide not to use the dining table. You can decide to sleep on the floor. You turn off your lights whenever. You listen to loud music not considering your next-door neighbour. It is your HOUSE.

My point: CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME

I think it's a Nigerian thing. Corrupt legal system, ineffective rule of law and stubborn individuals. The way some people behave on Nairaland clearly shows people enjoy breaking rules. When you correct them, you become their enemies. Most of them are educated illiterates. Pls don't blame them.

I'm not holding brief for bad behaviour.

Where there is no law, there is no sin. Our laws here aren't firm enough. Its surprising to see lots of Nigerians "behaving" appropriately in an orderly society just because those societies enforce strict rules. There is no excuse for dis orderliness but the truth is that there's a general notion here that if someone else did it and wasn't punished, the other person too can go scott free.

Little can be achieved in a lawless society.

=Dygeasy

Are you implying we pretend while we are outside and relax while we are within our comfort zone? Reminds of a proverb i heard from Pete Edochie which he said ' chew your chewing stick in private and use your toothbrush in public'. I really dont agree with this proverb, is it a crime to behave in a civilised manner at all times?

Bibol: Where there is no law, there is no sin. Our laws here aren't firm enough. Its surprising to see lots of Nigerians "behaving" appropriately in an orderly society just because those societies enforce strict rules. There is no excuse for dis orderliness but the truth is that there's a general notion here that if someone else did it and wasn't punished, the other person too can go scott free.

Little can be achieved in a lawless society.

Your post made a lot of sense to me Bibol, i agree we have little or no regards for authority, rules and regulations in Nigeria. however i am of the opinion that if our generation can start doing things in a proper manner regardless of how the society works, we can get there in future.This brings me to another question, what exactly is the duty of the National Orientation Agency?

specialguest: =Dygeasy

Are you implying we pretend while we are outside and relax while we are within our comfort zone? Reminds of a proverb i heard from Pete Edochie which he said ' chew your chewing stick in private and use your toothbrush in public'. I really dont agree with this proverb, is it a crime to behave in a civilised manner at all times?

Lol...

If You Put It In A Way And Turn It The Other Way Round, You Would Still Arrive At The Same Conclusion.

Taking Nigerians As A Case Study, We Tend To Ignore Or Break Rules In Our Country Because There's No Strict Punishment For Going Against The Rules. Unlike Foreigners Who Have A Rule And Punishment For The Smallest Offence There Might Be And Even If Where There Aren't Strict Rules, Oyinbos Too Err.

Looking At It From Another Perspective, In The Home. We Would Want To Put Up The Best Of Our Manners In The Presence Of Strangers, Why? We Wouldn't Want To Disappoint Our Parents. We Wouldn't Want To Make It Seem Like They Didn't Give Us The Right Training On Manners.

So You Have Your Answer. Its Just The Way Things Are.

Dygeasy: Lol...

If You Put It In A Way And Turn It The Other Way Round, You Would Still Arrive At The Same Conclusion.

Taking Nigerians As A Case Study, We Tend To Ignore Or Break Rules In Our Country Because There's No Strict Punishment For Going Against The Rules. Unlike Foreigners Who Have A Rule And Punishment For The Smallest Offence There Might Be And Even If Where There Aren't Strict Rules, Oyinbos Too Err.

Looking At It From Another Perspective, In The Home. We Would Want To Put Up The Best Of Our Manners In The Presence Of Strangers, Why? We Wouldn't Want To Disappoint Our Parents. We Wouldn't Want To Make It Seem Like They Didn't Give Us The Right Training On Manners.

So You Have Your Answer. Its Just The Way Things Are.

Lolz so you are defending your people right?
Its ok to fake it till you make it!

You will recall sometime ago when the federal road safety came up with the seat belt rule, they were really strict in enforcing it and majority of Nigerian drivers tried to adhere to the new rule most especially when they sighted FRSC officials on the road but would you believe the same drivers always remove the seat belts immediately after they pass the roadsafety check points forgetting that the seat belt is for their own safety and not for the roadsafety. Talk about eye 'service' so who are we deceiving?

Matthew briggs: Very well said. What you've pointed out is not far from the truth. Over the years I have come to realize that we Nigerians are Nigeria's problem. Our mindset and outlook towards life is the root cause of our many woes.

The Average Nigerian is more concerned about what he can take not what he can contribute to society.

We feel like the nation is indebted to us, that the government owes us, we therefore go to any length to milky her dry in our bid to take our cut of the proverbial national cake instead of contributing the ingredients needed to make the cake bigger and enough for everyone.

We love to play the blame game instead of the "lets fix it game". Blaming everyone and everything but ourselves.

The Average Nigerian is limited in his world view, he never aspires to be an agent of change, to contribute to humanity, and make his nation a better place, but instead cares so much about his stomach, about how to use instead of create, to consume instead of manufacture, to destroy instead of build.

Majority of our youths go through the four walls of the university with the main goal of getting a certificate that will land them their dream job and will go to any length good or bad to get that paper, instead of seeing the university experience as an opportunity to empower them self with the necessary knowledge to create, invent and serve the nation at optimum capacity.

We lack self belief and suffer from low self esteem... This is evident in our never ceasing hesitation to compare ourselves with others instead of appreciating our uniqueness, reflecting and correcting our mistakes.

There are so many things wrong with us. That if fixed on individual level, collectively it has the potential to reshape the destiny of this nation.

The change Nigeria needs start with not just you but most importantly Me!!.
#Matthew Briggs

GBAM!!! Bro,you said it all. I couldn't have said any better.

I guess it is part of our gene to behave like that.

Matthew briggs: Very well said. What you've pointed out is not far from the truth. Over the years I have come to realize that we Nigerians are Nigeria's problem. Our mindset and outlook towards life is the root cause of our many woes.

The Average Nigerian is more concerned about what he can take not what he can contribute to society.

We feel like the nation is indebted to us, that the government owes us, we therefore go to any length to milky her dry in our bid to take our cut of the proverbial national cake instead of contributing the ingredients needed to make the cake bigger and enough for everyone.

We love to play the blame game instead of the "lets fix it game". Blaming everyone and everything but ourselves.

The Average Nigerian is limited in his world view, he never aspires to be an agent of change, to contribute to humanity, and make his nation a better place, but instead cares so much about his stomach, about how to use instead of create, to consume instead of manufacture, to destroy instead of build.

Majority of our youths go through the four walls of the university with the main goal of getting a certificate that will land them their dream job and will go to any length good or bad to get that paper, instead of seeing the university experience as an opportunity to empower them self with the necessary knowledge to create, invent and serve the nation at optimum capacity.

We lack self belief and suffer from low self esteem... This is evident in our never ceasing hesitation to compare ourselves with others instead of appreciating our uniqueness, reflecting and correcting our mistakes.

There are so many things wrong with us. That if fixed on individual level, collectively it has the potential to reshape the destiny of this nation.

The change Nigeria needs start with not just you but most importantly Me!!.
#Matthew Briggs

Thank you Mr Briggs I have found my answers in the bolded part. I wish many of us would understand that the change we desire to see in Nigeria is achievable if only we can be the difference but as usual the Naija mentality is everyone blaming the government forgetting that 'we' are the government.

People dump their garbage in slums and later on when the area becomes flooded they blame it on the government. you drive at a speed of 180 on a 80km/hour road and when you have an accident you blame it on the government, you get a government job and instead of you to be dedicated to your work, you join the band wagon and come to the office at 12 noon and close by 2 pm and when files are not moving and decisions are not being taken on time by those on top, we blame the government. I could go on and on

I remember one faithful morning I was getting dressed for work and my aunt who was visiting said 'why are you up so early, aint you a civil servant?' I was just looking for the right words to reply her so I don't sound rude before she dropped another bomb shell by asking me " why I am dressed up like a banker' at this point I couldn't hide my disgust I had to ask her if wearing lovely clothes and preparing for work on time is limited to certain offices in Nigeria. why wont I dress well and get to the office early when the "government" pays me my salary? must I look unkempt and take my job unserious because I am a civil servant? talking about Naija mentality...... it really begins with me and I am bent on making a difference so help me God.

Nice topic
Nice opinions from the contributors
I'm following this thread because truly,Change begins with us.

THE TRANSTHEORETICAL MODEL OF BEHAVIOR CHANGE
Overview Of The Model

The ModelThe Transtheoretical Model (TTM; Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983; Prochaska, DiClemente, & Norcross, 1992) is an integrative, biopsychosocial model to conceptualize the process of intentional behavioral change. Whereas other models of behavioral change focus exclusively on certain dimensions of change (e.g. theories focusing mainly on social or biological influences), the TTM seeks to include and integrate key constructs from other theories into a comprehensive theory of change that can be applied to a variety of behaviors, populations, and settings (e.g. treatment settings, prevention and policy-making settings, etc.). Dr. DiClemente published Addiction and Change: How Addictions Develop and Addicted People Recover (2003) which goes into more detail about the develpment of the model and how to appropriately use the model in both research and clinical work.

http://www.umbc.edu/psyc/habits/content/the_model/

The Stages Of Change

The Stages of Change are as follows:

Precontemplation
Contemplation
Preparation
Action
Maintenance

Precontemplation: Individuals in the Precontemplation stage are not thinking about or intending to change a problem behavior (or initiate a healthy behavior) in the near future (usually quantified as the next six months). Precontemplators are usually not armed with the facts about the risks associated with their behavior. Additionally, many individuals make unsuccessful change attempts, becoming discouraged and regressing back to the Precontemplation stage. The inclusion of the Precontemplation stage represents a significant contribution of the TTM, as individuals in this stage comprise a large proportion of individuals engaged in risky or unhealthy behaviors. In comparison to many traditional, action-oriented theories of behavior change, which view individuals in this stage as resistant and unmotivated, the TTM can be useful in guiding treatment and prevention programs by meeting the needs of these individuals, rather than ignoring them.

Contemplation: An individual enters the Contemplation stage when he or she becomes aware of a desire to change a particular behavior (typically defined as within the next six months). In this stage, individuals weigh the pros and cons of changing their behavior. Contemplators also represent a large proportion of individuals engaged in unhealthy behaviors, as ambivalence between the pros and cons of change keeps many people immobilized in this stage. Resolving this ambivalence is one way to help Contemplators progress toward taking action to change their behavior.

Preparation: By the time individuals enter the Preparation stage, the pros in favor of attempting to change a problem behavior outweigh the cons, and action is intended in the near future, typically measured as within the next thirty days. Many individuals in this stage have made an attempt to change their behavior in the past year, but have been unsuccessful in maintaining that change. Preparers often have a plan of action, but may not be entirely committed to their plan. Many traditional action-oriented behavior change programs are appropriate for individuals in this stage.

Action: The Action stage marks the beginning of actual change in the criterion behavior, typically within the past six months. By this point, where many theories of behavior change begin, an individual is half way through the process of behavior change according to the Transtheoretical Model. This is also the point where relapse, and subsequently regressing to an earlier stage, is most likely. If an individual has not sufficiently prepared for change, and committed to their chosen plan of action, relapse back to the problem behavior is likely.

Maintenance: Individuals are thought to be in the Maintenance stage when they have successfully attained and maintained behavior change for at least six months. While the risk for relapse is still present in this stage, it is less so, and as such individuals need to exert less effort in engaging in change processes.

The Stages of Change addresses a facet of behavior change ignored by many other theories, namely that change is a process that occurs over time. It should be noted here that while progression through the Stages of Change can occur in a linear fashion, a nonlinear progression is more common. Often, individuals recycle through the stages, or regress to earlier stages from later ones, rather than progress through the stages in a linear sequence. Change often comes at it’s own pace – often quickly and in bursts, rather than a consistent rate. It is not unusual for someone to spend years in Precontemplation and then progress to Action in a matter of weeks or months.

Decisional Balance: Decision making was conceptualized by Janis and Mann (1977) as a decisional "balance sheet" of comparative potential gains and losses. Two components of decisional balance, the pros and the cons, have become critical constructs in the Transtheoretical model. As individuals progress through the Stages of Change, decisional balance shifts in critical ways. When an individual is in the
Precontemplation stage, the pros in favor of behavioral change are outweighed by the relative cons for change and in favor of maintaining the existing behavior. In the Precontemplation stage, the pros and cons tend to carry equal weight, leaving the individual ambivalent toward change. If the decisional balance is tipped however, such that the pros in favor of changing outweigh the cons for maintaining the unhealthy behavior, many individuals move to the Preparation or even Action stage. As individuals enter the Maintenance stage, the pros in favor of maintaining the behavioral change should outweigh the cons of maintaining the change in order to decrease the risk of relapse. Please see our measures page if you are interested in learning more about how to measure this construct

Self-efficacy: The Transtheoretical model integrates elements of Bandura's self-efficacy theory (Bandura, 1977, 1982). This construct reflects the degree of confidence the individual has in maintaining their desired behavioral change in situations that often trigger relapse. It is also measured by the degree to which the individual feels tempted to return to their problem behavior in these high-risk situations. In the Precontemplation and Contemplation stages, individuals’ temptation to engage in the problem behavior is far greater than their self-efficacy to abstain. As individuals move from Preparation to Action, the disparity between feelings of self-efficacy and temptation closes, and behavioral change is attained. Relapse often occurs in situations where feelings of temptation trumps and individual’s sense of self-efficacy to maintain the desired behavioral change. Please see our measures page if you are interested in learning more about how to measure this construct.

Processes of Change: While the Stages of Change are useful in explaining when changes in cognition, emotion, and behavior take place, the processes of change help to explain how these changes occur. These ten covert and overt processes need to be implemented to successfully progress through the stages of change and attain the desired behavioral change. These ten processes can be divided into two groups: cognitive and affective experiential processes, and behavioral processes. Please see our measures page if you are interested in learning more about how to measure this construct.

Experiential Processes:

Consciousness raising – Knowledge and awareness about the individual and their problem behavior is increased.

Dramatic relief – Emotions about the individual’s problem behavior, and available treatments or solutions, are aroused.

Environmental reevaluation – The impact that the individual’s problem behavior has on their environment is reassessed.

Self-reevaluation – Cognitions and emotions regarding the individual, especially with respect to their problem behavior, are reassessed.

Social liberation – Attempts are made to decrease the prevalence of the individual’s former problem behavior in society.

Behavioral Processes:

Reinforcement management – Positive behavioral changes are rewarded.

Helping relationships – Trusting and open discussion about the problem behavior is received by a supporting individual(s).

Counterconditioning – Positive alternative behaviors are substituted for the individual’s problem behavior.

Stimulus control – Stimuli that may trigger lapse back to the problem behavior are prepared to be coped with, removed, or avoided.

Self-liberation – Choosing a course of action to change the problem behavior, and committing to that choice.

Special guest. Nice thread you have here, as per the article you posted, try summarizing or bolding the key points. To aid easy reading or scanning.

This is why I love psychology! At op are u a psychologist? I read psychology hoping to go into clinical/counselling psychology

specialguest:
Why do we always behave so unruly and harsh towards our fellow Nigerians treating each other as if we are less important but we value treat foreigners like demi gods?

Inferiority complex at work. We believe everything foreign is better,we believe they are much more important than us--- The progress of europe,the environment,the technology ..e..t.c has made Nigerians see them(foreigners) as demi gods.. Nigerians looked at foreign countries and went like "Hell no! We are not equal abeg; we are humans while they(foreigners) are gods..

specialguest: Why do we like to shunt or play smart especially while driving or when we meet queues in places like banks, filling stations, motor parks, registration points, etc but when we go to shopping in malls abroad or train stations outside Nigeria we gladly join the Que and patiently wait for our turn even if it extends the next 2 blocks?

Nigerians believe that jumping queues and being attended to before their turn, is a sign of toughness and brilliance. It's a psychological boost that they won; that they were better than the dumb(mugus) people who followed the line.

They cant try that abroad cos they will look foolish and in most cases, get embarrassed by mannered people or at worst, get arrested. It's a sign of victory and smartness when they do that in Naija because the truth is that "99% of people you see on queues are actually planning on how to outsmart the next person in front of them and get attended to first"..lol

specialguest: Why do always have to be late to our places of work, places of worship and events we are invited to under the guise of 'African time' but when an embassy gives us appointment by 7.00 am we get there even before 5.00 am?

They have been getting away with lateness since the time of Adam,so it has become a part of them. Nigerians only appear early when something important is at stake just like the case of going to the embassy for visa. Nigerians dont joke with visa,so just as expected,they are bound to appear early.

If you want Nigerians to attend your wedding on time,then let your wedding card read thus "Rice will be shared first--- sharing begins 9;am prompt". Trust me,the hall will be filled before 8;30-- you can thank me later. Have i told you that Nigerians dont joke with rice?

specialguest: Why do we break traffic rules and drive recklessly in Nigeria but once we go abroad we adhere to the speed limits?

There are strict rules that punishes such an offence abroad but in Nigeria,you know the rest. Just some days back,a police man slapped and threatened to shoot a journalist for obeying traffic laws -- can you imagine?

I just hope a day wont come when drivers who do not drive reckless and disobey traffic rules are shot on sight..

specialguest: Why do we have no regards for authority in Nigeria?we all know some policemen are corrupt, some military men are brutal, some vio, lastma and road safety officials are always looking for ways to extort from us but hey they are there for a purpose so why cant we just respect them?

On the contrary, i think Nigerians respect the authorities alot oo.. Policemen collect bribe from drivers as if its their birth-right; many many people have been shot for refusing or delaying to pay bribe--- Nigerians will cry,wail,bury the dead and keep quiet.

Military men harass citizens for the most trivial and useless reason one can ever imagine;they beat people anyhow------ Nigerians will beg them with the popular line "officer abeg nah!!" and thank the officers for letting them go when they did nothing in the first place.

The authorities on the highway seize cars with complete particulars for no reason other than wanting bribe---- Nigerians always obey and give them their hard earned money..

Me thinks Nigerians are one of the most tolerant people who respect authorities alot.. I dont think other parts of the world respect authorities like we do.

specialguest: I remember back then National Orientation Agency had a nice jingle airing on NTA and the song went like " ABCC acts for behavioral change campaign its about you and me, a journey we must start' ............ CHANGE begins with you and I.

So i ask why the double standards ?

Nigerians need to change the way they behave and do things.. Its so sad.. Although It will not be easy;the CHANGE will not be easy but that doesnt mean it's impossible..

If the whole of Nigeria can agree on Eating Rice every Sunday(sounds impossible right?),then it means that there is hope, because at-least it shows that the Nation can do the impossible, which is to CHANGE..
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All izz well!