nickxtra: one, how do I develop a strong love for a woman I think I should marry?

nickxtra: Two, will you not consider it better for me to finish my school and get a better job before marrying?

nickxtra: Thirdly, do I really need an elaborate wedding, like some of my friends did?

nickxtra: At 31(though physically bigger than my age), don't you think am supposed to be married now like my friends, some of whom are my juniors and others, seniors? Is it possible not to have a strong love a girl now, but later develop it for her? What do I do now in this circumstance? Please, advise me.

Jayses: J

Mavrick2012: .

nickxtra: one, how do I develop a strong love for a woman I think I should marry?

nickxtra: will you not consider it better for me to finish my school and get a better job before marrying?

nickxtra: Thirdly, do I really need an elaborate wedding, like some of my friends did?

dabrake:


You see your life?

bellong:

Contrary to popular and erroneous belief about Love, Love is not a feeling or emotions. It is a decision. For the girl to at least get your attention in asking her out, it is obvious there is an evidence of attraction to her. What you need do is to study her and see if you can live with her character and attitude. Assess her overall qualities and weigh what you can live with and what you can't. If your assessment qualifies for what you can live with for the rest of your life, then you can start working on yourself to be the ideal husband to her. With time, you will get to like and develop the feelings missing now.



Yes, I agree that you have a better job that can at least cater for your needs before marrying the girl. I am not saying you have to wait to get a high paying job but one that the pay is decent enough to cater for your household. Meanwhile, it doesn't stop you from building on the relationship.



Comparing themselves by themselves, they are not wise. One disservice we do to ourselves is to compare ourselves with others. Your friends had the means for an elaborate wedding, you do not have the same circumstance and so cannot operate under the same condition. Whenever you are ready for the marriage, do it according to what you can afford. Marriage itself starts after the owanbe ceremony, infact I do not count as too important the celebration celebrated by many.



What I see here is not confusion but an upsurge of hormones doing the thinking for you. Marriage is important but it is not done because others are doing or because I am getting old. You have to be matured in all areas viz-a-viz emotional, financial, anger management to mention a few.
Bro, sit yourself down and think of what you want from life. Map out strategy on how you aim to accomplish it. Look back on where you have made serious mistakes that have affected your progress and make correction for future purpose. Draw out a vision you intend to run with and stick to it with prayers.
Start working on becoming the ideal husband for your wife by reading good books and understudying successful homes. Take time also to identify what you want in a woman and the characteristics you will want to see (realistic expectations). When you see them in a lady, with time your attraction will become strong.

Finally, you need to let this sink into your heart that your life should not be compared with any. Some are early starters while some are late starters. What matters is for you to understand the purpose you are living for and run with it. Write the vision and make it plain upon the tables. The law of overtaking is a universal law. You are in no competition with anybody, savour your challenges and let them mould you to become a better person to your family and society at large. I pray that God settle you and grant you peace round about.