If fluffy, sunshine-y words of wisdom make you want to vomit, then you’ve come to the right place. I’m one of the many Eeyores of the world who doesn’t believe in positive thinking – if I’m having a crappy day, I don’t want to hear that “everything’s going to be alright,” or “things could be so much worse,” or I need to “find the silver lining.”

Just because my day wasn’t as bad as someone else’s doesn’t give anyone the right to trivialize my feelings and encourage me to frolic in a meadow singing, “The Hills Are Alive.” I want a stiff drink and the right to feel how I feel so I can regroup and move on.

It’s called “defensive pessimism.”

Pessimism gets a bad rap because it’s commonly associated with doom and negativity, but for a lot of people, being a pessimist doesn’t mean expecting the worst of every situation or blinding themselves from what’s good in life. It’s a way to mentally and emotionally prepare for what might go wrong. You know, in case it does. We tend to go by the mantra, “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” We set lower expectations (but expectations, nonetheless), so that if something does go wrong, we’re armed and ready to deal with it.

From personal experience, I’ve found it to be a fantastic strategy, especially as a freelancer whose livelihood depends solely on myself. It’s kind of like creating an emergency kit for your well-being. It helps you get through challenges with a level head, and is a serious confidence-booster once you’ve seen the problem through to the end.

Plus, it helps you live longer.

Just because you talk about kittens and rainbows to ward off the potential health issues associated with being a pessimist (hypochondria, depression, and heart disease to name a few) doesn’t mean you’re entirely off the hook. In fact, a recent study revealed pessimists are more likely to live longer due to their cautious nature.

How to Be a Better Pessimist

The fact is, we need to be both positive and negative – pessimist qualities stem from our fears, and are part of our very survival. Here’s how you can use being a defensive pessimist to your advantage:

1. Use Pessimism As Motivation

Although defensive pessimists have low expectations, they use them as motivation to exceed them and thrive. From personal experience, it’s a huge confidence boost!

2. Use Pessimism to Decrease Anxiety

When you’re feeling anxious about a particular situation, you can use defensive pessimism to decrease your anxiety and prepare for the outcome you’re worried about. By considering your fears and what could go wrong, you’ll more likely to eventually say, “Failure shmailure,” and make one amazing comeback.

3. Don’t Let It Take Over Your Life

As they say, “everything in moderation,” and being a defensive pessimist is no different. You don’t want to wring your hands about every little thing – it’s a waste of energy you should be putting toward enjoying your accomplishments. To that end:

* Restrict your pessimism to what’s important for you to accomplish – professionally and personally.
* When something small goes wrong, don’t turn it into an Armageddon-esque tragedy. Keep it small. Clean up the mess. Move on.

4. Don’t Listen to Positive People

When you’re tackling an issue – especially a stressful one – the worst thing you can do is turn to Little Miss Prozac for advice. Research has shown when someone tries to pressure a defensive pessimist to look at the bright side the exact opposite happens.

5. Don’t Burden Others with Your Pessimism

It’s better to keep your pessimistic nature to yourself around those who are uncomfortable with it. To each their own – plus, you don’t want them to feel obligated to cheer you up. Instead, find a trusted friend with a similar perspective to turn to.

How do you use pessimism to your advantage?

CULLED FROM: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/why-theres-nothing-wrong-with-being-pessimist.html?utm_source=Lifehack&utm_campaign=edbf1b3df5-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_983e966a3e-edbf1b3df5-414734457

NOTED

In as much as I don't know whether am a pessimist or not, @op you did a good job on the write up, but I think this shouldn't make FP atall. Back to competition @sheenor I don't think you read the topic and u were just rushing to be first to comment, next time I will beat you and carry first. Hahahahahah

Abegiii....wetin carry dis post enter frontpage....time to prepare nite food abeg


3rd to comment tns,,,1st to comment loadin

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BETA..read it and culdn?t pick more than 2points....

.

why dot dot dot.....

why dot dot dot............ . . . . .is this for a Nigerian?

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#oracle

Pessimism is one word invented by 'scholars' to blind the eyes of faith. Being pessimistic is not my thing....I work by faith, not my sight.

If an animal The quokka which shld be more paranoid and cautious about being eaten by a predator can be d happiest animal on earth.
Why shld i be pessimistic
that crap dat pessimist live longer-NA BIG LIE.

Come, who are you & why are 3 of ur threads on the fp at the same time ?

Am a pessimist, because I believe wen u tink of negative or bad outcomes, u find ways to cancel dem out, and if u do ur left with d positive outcomes to enjoy, I don't believe in by Gods grace bla bla, but d average nigerian intoxicated by religion on sees postive tins and can't deal wit failures, hehehe

It is well with me, weda pessimistic or opportunist.

@op, na you dey do dis sallah ooo. All ur topic just the make fp. Na you biko..!!!

Op, are you the new owner of nairaland?
Back to topic, pessimism is part of each of us. It depends on the level you exercise it. You don't go hug a lion because you're optimistic.

Victosin09: Pessimism is one word invented by 'scholars' to blind the eyes of faith. Being pessimistic is not my thing....I work by faith, not my sight.

A thousand likes for this my dear. There's everything wrong with being pessimistic.

bluejeff: Come, who are you & why are 3 of ur threads on the fp at the same time ?

lol

Interesting topic. "Defensive pessimism"seems to have worked for me for a very long time. It is almost inexplicable.

It is almost as if the things that I optimistically/overtly proclaim or expect to happen often find a way to fall through, even when I am 100% sure that I have done (or have the proven ability to do) what it takes to meet my highest expectations. This is especially when I assert my optimistic expectations or plans to other people.

On the other hand, I have long observed that the things I overtly proclaim to be 'difficult', 'unlikely', or even 'impossible' for me to accomplish often find a way to come to pass. I have observed this since my university days. The 'ashawo' courses (whose lecturers I even regarded as incompetent buffoons). . .courses that every dullard in the faculty necessarily borrowed as electives because they were sure of a cheap50%, I would expect a 70%, at worst, and at the end,I would score a ridiculous 45%, even less than nitwits who couldn't spell their middle names to save their lives. Conversely, for those courses that I expected to be difficult, for which I hoped to get at best 55-60%, I often scored outrageous and record-setting scores. . .85%, 78%, etc. These were courses that most students carried over, with supposedly 'sadistic' professors as lecturers.

The experience has been the same in my personal and professional life, post-graduation. The examples are endless. What I have noticed is that it is OK for me to be optimistic inwardly, but necessary to seem pessimistic outwardly. I am not a very 'religious' person, but I assume there must be some kind of spiritual explanation for this.

*Sorry for any typos and gbagauns o, na Sallah beer I dey drink somewhere dey type fast fast so ontop touch screen.* Lol.

Being a pessimist has too many hazards. Depression is one major result. They also tend to be moaners and groaners: very difficult to live with.
I am an incurable optimist! Nobody ever got blind looking at the bright side of life.
When I have fears, I know they won't happen.
None of the things I ever feared has ever happened, so I have discarded pessimism as bad business and unnecessary waste of energy!

bluejeff: Come, who are you & why are 3 of ur threads on the fp at the same time ?

The funniest is the thread from June 2013,long and booooorrrinnggggg.

Who brought this poo to front page?;->

[size=16pt] I am sure d mod that brought this to d front page didn't get the message.......what next are we going to see on fp?...how to commit sweet suicide? [/size]

People call me a pessimist and I hate that word, I like to think of myself as a realist.

Tinkybabe: I think you have some good points up there,you only confused a realist with a pessimist.
A realist is hopeful for the best ,yet prepares for the worst-because he realises that "uncertainty" is the word for life so he works with the positives and negatives .
A pessimist is always negative regardless
and an optimist-well,sees the bright side of all,even when it's obviously gloomy.

There's everything wrong with being a pessimist but being a realist puts you in a safe spot.

A pessimist sees the glass half empty,an optimist sees it half full but a realist sees the content of the glass.

nice write up dear,he iz referin to a realist nt a pessimist

Pessimism is nearest to reality.

I've never had a cause to hate on pessimist and sometimes I exhume that trait of pessimism. The world can't just be full of the optimistic else we'd have been in a world full of dumbass and id1iots.. !!

Billyonaire: .

Ewoooo... Even a billionaire dey put dot I'm no know wetin I'm go talk

Realism is equivalent to pessimism to an average nigerian due our religious madness which have been fanned out of imagination by pentecostalism,so the op is on point. For example, over ten thousand students apply for admission into a particular school of medicine every year whereas the school can only admit about 50 students. If as a realist/pessimist you advice a nigerian student not to bother applying and wasting one yr at home, instead let him apply for another nice related course like radiology and ultrasound (medical imaging)and then try medicine next yr when he is already a university student, he will call you an enemy of progress and prefer listening to the collection/tithe seeking pastor who have mastered the art of positive motivational speaking.