SAGITTARIUS(23 November - 22 December)
You have a lot to do this week. Eat when you have an urge to go to toilet and go to toilet when you are hungry. This will put your enermies into confusion.

CAPRICORN(23 December - 20 January)
Corn meal will be good for you this week. You can put on a cap before every meal but don't be too corny.

AQUARIUS(21 January - 19 February)
You are lucky. You don't have to do anything this week. Just sleep throughout. Your dreams may come true.

PISCES (20 February - 21 March)
You always beat your opponents into pieces. But, because of moon fluctuations, avoid fighting this week unless you want your eyes blown.

ARIES(22 March - 20 April)
Slap the first person you see when you wake up in the morning. Your loved ones may run away from you because of this. Do not be bothered about that because, troubles will run away from you in a similar manner.

TAURUS(21 April - 21 May)
Embrace every person you see this week. You will get a share from their natural endowments. Avoid potbellied men.

GEMINI(22 May - 21 June)
You are always lucky. Spend the whole of this week in a nearby bush. You might win this year's 'Mr Bush'. Remember, two men had won this before and have ruled America.

CANCER(22 June - 23 July)
You may not need to wash your mouth throughout this week. That boy or girl you like would be attracted by the odour.

LEO(24 July - 23 August)
Eat only dogmeat throughout this week even if it makes you too dogmatic. You will save a lot of money.

VIRGO(24 August - 23 September)
Do not fart for five consecutive days. All your enemies must surely be humiliated on the sixth day when you start releasing the gas. Make sure the sixth day is not Sunday or else you will interupt the Sunday service.

LIBRA (24 September - 23 October)
You have been searching for a life partner. This week is a very good opportunity for you. All will be attracted to you. You just have to be extremely careful otherwise you may fall in love with a monkey.

SCORPIO(24 October - 22 November)
You are accident prone. Be safety conscious. While driving, make sure your seat belt is tight. Even when you are not driving, make sure you have a belt round your waist otherwise your pants may fall down.


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