well i don't think if that's a good idea, if u know that this guy is engaged to someone, why should u waste ur time and be like a thief?? just go ahead witchyo life, and get engaged too

hey it's like datin someon's husby
once someone is already engaged u don't have to be a hopping bird anymore, u know? just follow ur life and do ur stuffs, if he'll feel like datin u so badly, just tell him "ur'e engaged. sorry i can't"
short n simple but if u can be like a bird too at the same time then go ahead, but bear in mind you won't be happy findin ur guy datin a chyk while he already engaged u, see??

Girl leave the guy alone, he is quarter to marry and i don't think you would want to be rememebered as that girl who nearly spoilt someone's garri! these things have a way of back-lashing. so my advice is leave teh guy alone and lok for your own. As per teh love thing, i don't think teh guy really loves you, when push turns to shove he'd fall back into the arms of his fiancee not U!

noo u'll end up wit a broken heart

Bluemoon it ain't over till the fat lady sings! get get get it girl

na ma oh i cant do dat 4 any reason cos what ever u do may also b done 2 u too.well gone are d days when one didnt knw all these things.but knw we shuld stop .

na wa oh i cant do dat 4 any reason cos what ever u do may also b  done 2 u too.well gone are d days when one didnt knw all these things.but knw we shuld stop .

chinani:

@Zarah
So the only taboo relationship is one where the woman is married?? Dating a married man (or engaged one) isn't wrong but a married woman is

And to think, some people say woman are not also fools.

[/color

pls read the line again.

i didnt say if only the woman is married i said if they are both married to other people.
besides, take or leave it a married woman  cheating is a taboo, but as african's we all know a man can pass. why stay in a marriage wen u can cheat, afterall men just f**k with their bodies but women with their mind, body and soul. (at least mostly)

the only fool here dearie is definately not me. thanks for the attempt at insult

Big Shishi:

zarah, i'm feelin your flow baby!!

[color=#000099]

I know baby.

baby4u2:

@ Zarah you are completely wrong, and your analysis wrong too. Someone would not always sleep with your husband, maybe thats your mindset because of the guys u come across but i don't believe that for myself or even hope for it so do most girls. Then again did u even think of the girl getting a man for herself and not another persons man? Anyway u're a good adviser to must girls that are heading for heartbreaks. Remember Nigeria is not like America or other parts of the world. Most people want to save face/image/name. That guy is not going to leave his wife to be with her, she's just a side dish for now.

[color=#000099][/color]

I stand by my word, someone will always sleep with ur husband. naivety in reality is wat kills women, hope for it o, dont want it o, na u sabi but am sure of wat am saying. unfortunately the men i come across have got nothing to do with it, cos av seen my fair share of the guud, the bad and the ugly. but none has influenced my way of thinking.
He isn't someone else's man but the man she shares with someone, hey their's love in sharing.
Heart breaks are inevitable, and it's part of life, is divorce and infidelity not heartbreak? people still live thru it. but it hurts more wen u r really naive to think ur's is the only congo he is shining.

i won't want a man who will cheat on me and say no divorce just to save face i reject dat kind of r/ship. i'd rather have him say am a man baby sex with her don't mean i don't love u no more,

my dear she is not neccesarily a side dish o.
for the married men av dated their wives were the side dishes. i had the full 3 course meals and more often too, cos commitment is wat kills the flavour for men with their wives.

African men are polygamists by heart, girl's get used to it, and u'll be happy.
Besides a little competition is always very refreshing.

its not good sha. that means the girls is good only for friendship not for marriage. the babe should look for a serious relationship not sowing where she will not reap anything

@Zarah
Girl, you are a girl, right? You must be one cynical dish! and by dish, i mean you must be an attractive lady (if a lady) who got "worsted".

That or you are simply having the time of your life answering this rather curious post. ie. you're on the same side as Busta

As per the "rhetorical question" on whether it is wrong or right to date some dude who's eating his cake and having it for the time being and sowing the seeds for generations long worth of pain and disenchantment/disillusionment - well, you have only one life to live and life is so bloody short, feel free cos nothing anyone says here is goig to change your mind unless you really do wish to.

Folk tend to underestimate the gravity of the liitle things they do today. We all wonder why the world is such a "bent" place but the simple (actually, not so simple!) act of self-discipline and holding yourself accountable to yourself and to a higher being (for the religious) seems to be such a resistable decision to make.

Seun, please help me understand why you remove every thing that i post, or is this forum restricted to certain people and their opinions ONLY?

lemmi know o, so dat i will stop wasting my time to write anything, but sit aside and read wat ur chosen few have to say.

you hurt me man.

Tetris:

@Zarah
Girl, you are a girl, right? You must be one cynical dish! and by dish, i mean you must be an attractive lady (if a lady) who got "worsted".

That or you are simply having the time of your life answering this rather curious post. ie. you're on the same side as Busta

As per the "rhetorical question" on whether it is wrong or right to date some dude who's eating his cake and having it for the time being and sowing the seeds for generations long worth of pain and disenchantment/disillusionment - well, you have only one life to live and life is so bloody short, feel free because nothing anyone says here is goig to change your mind unless you really do wish to.

Folk tend to underestimate the gravity of the liitle things they do today. We all wonder why the world is such a "bent" place but the simple (actually, not so simple!) act of self-discipline and holding yourself accountable to yourself and to a higher being (for the religious) seems to be such a resistable decision to make.

[color=#000099][/color]

I prefer the term lady my dear, and believe u me i am far from attractive, if by that you mean pretty, or beautiful. if not, then i must say damn am attractive (not by looks mind you). i just know how to do my sh*t right.

My dear life is a bitch o really. u cant be the determining factor weather some people end up disillusioned/disenchanted. life with or without you wont make a difference cos dat would be the life god chose for them. sh**t happens.

what a load of chickenshit!!!

Zarah, I re-read and you stated (correct me if I'm wrong) it is alright to sleep w/ a married man but not if the woman is also married. . .which leads me to believe that men have more sexual freedom in your book. Man married = ok. Man married & woman married = not ok. The only difference being that the woman is married. I don't see where you're losing me. . .Anyhow, you stand by your word and so do I. Happily I stand.

what Zarah, says is not ok but it is a fact..
The world has not changed. (Not in Nigeria)
Its only when the not wife starts making demands but she can always become a second wify

mamaput:

what Zarah, says is not ok but it is a fact..
The world has not changed. (Not in Nigeria)
Its only when the not wife starts making demands but she can always become a second wify

I wasn't debating the factual quality (is that a phrase?). But in my previous post I pointed out that the woman had less sexual freedom (per her post) and she responded as though I had misunderstood her. And I don't think I did. That's why I wrote the above post.

Well we are talking about if it is ok and not if it is a fact.
I do not find it ok.
I will not dump a boyfriend or husband because he is sleeping with another woman. But just maybe i will pay him back and i will let him know because i will do it in a way he will find out and know i was not even hiding

Hell no. Not Right or Ok

Am speaking for myself.
No woman will pack in here na me get the flat.
He has to move out and that also is fine by me.
Win some lose some.
He started it .Am not about to go fighting or crying after a man.

mamaput:

Am speaking for myself.
No woman will pack in here na me get the flat.
He has to move out and that also is fine by me.
Win some lose some.
He started it .Am not about to go fighting or crying after a man.

[color=#000099][/color]

good talk my dear, good talk!!!
I hate it when women say sh*t like i can't walk out of my marriage cos of the kids, or cos divorce is not an option, yet cry themselves to sleep every nigh.

life goes on damn it, besides you CANNOT force a man to love you, so once he begins acting up cos he's fallen out of love with you, it's time to move on.

;D [color=#990000][/color]  yes its wrong. [b][/b]

Well, Zarah and mama put share same veiw, which is the reality of life. its one thing to say this and do anada. i commend you for atleast speaking your mind, the truth and what you feel is right.

But come to think of it, its really not okay and its unfair to date an engaged man or is it one thing to be engaged and another thing to be married?

@TOPIC: IT'S NOT OKAY, SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO FXXKS OFF
IT AIN'T FAIR

Germany won p***land go home

ooh mamaput, u love germany huh?

I want Brazil to win
and maybe Angola

Oh, i want Angola to win, i'l pray for it to.
it will, i'm sure it will

so let the others go homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What can I say!
I am however glad for every response i got here, although some were unnecessary brash it however goes to show how different we all are in our thoughts.
I posted this questiona while back and i dare say quite a bit has happened since then. He hasn't left his girlfriend but the good news is, i'm beginning to realize the futility of this relationship.
It is wonderful n i know he trully cares but as we all know breaking off commitements in Nigeria is not as easy as it is abroad where people realize they are not inlove with the people they are about to marry n therefore not spend the rest of their lives with them. And even if that was the case i wouldnt want that to happen to another girl like him(i can imagine the dreams she's building).
I know I havent met half the world's population and can therefore still meet my better half at any point. I however hope there are less people like georgee and more like rhea.

bluemoon:


What can I say!
I am however glad for every response i got here, although some were unnecessary brash it however goes to show how different we all are in our thoughts.
I posted this questiona while back and i dare say quite a bit has happened since then. He hasn't left his girlfriend but the good news is, i'm beginning to realize the futility of this relationship.
It is wonderful n i know he trully cares but as we all know breaking off commitements in Nigeria is not as easy as it is abroad where people realize they are not inlove with the people they are about to marry n therefore not spend the rest of their lives with them. And even if that was the case i wouldnt want that to happen to another girl like him(i can imagine the dreams she's building).
I know I havent met half the world's population and can therefore still meet my better half at any point. I however hope there are less people like georgee and more like rhea.

Thanks Bluemoon.

If we firmly believe in the laws of karma, if we do to others only what we want done to ourselves, if we believe that what goes round comes around, then one would fully appreciate the downsides of dating a married man/woman; and be ready to face the music.