Dear nairalanders, kindly advise me on what to do. I have 2 little boys and a girl. The first is 4 years while the second is above 2. The two have almost the same height that some people think they are twins. The major issue is that the two of them fights a lot. They fight over everything, food, dresses, tv, etc. They compare every thing and fight over it while each is claiming that his is better. They will fight over food as if each would not have enough and at the end of the day there would be leftovers. I just came in from a store where I bought another tv now, one is already claiming the new one belong to him while his brother should take the other.
If one want to watch WAP tv, the other is asking for Mr Beans, then fight ensues. I think I have given these little boys more than enough beatings this year that I am now cautioning myself. I have also discovered that beating isnt going to solve the problem.They always wear their mum out anytime she is with them, I come back home everyday to meet them quarelling, enough complaints with one reporting the other to me. My mother in law has been saying they will outgrow it but I am really tired of these acrimonies btw 2 brothers. Again, their younger sister who is less than one is already showing some forms of aggressiveness, always wanting to join one in beating the other even with her feeble hands. See my house see drama. I put them in school and still pay teachers to organise extra lessons for them, this has not in anyway reduce their restlessness, what can I do? Kindly advise, Barka de sallah.

BOYS WILL BE BOYS!!!

They will get over it with time. I think it's common with boy-children.

I don laf tire! Just imagining how ur house will look like.
Abeg, don't kill urself. They will outgrow it. They hv hot blood(temperament)so no one want to bow. If they outgrow this, it will be competition. But they can lv unconditionally and look out for each other as they mature.
Continue to admonish them,one day e go enter.
Every house hv their own share.
( I still dey laf o!)

Na so e be 4 all house wey get kids, whether boys or girls.

When i was like 6-10 years old,I use to hav a rival in my younger bros who is 2 yrs younger. Same height nd stature but wit time,we learnt to ignore certain things. They wil outgrow it but d difference is that your kids ar too young for dat royal rumble & survivor series. Tel them to always report themselves of any offence or threaten to deny d offender of certain priviledges like buying ice cream,meat pie,gala,no father xmas show or birthday celebration

Ngenge: When i was like 6-10 years old,I use to hav a rival in my younger bros who is 2 yrs younger. Same height nd stature but wit time,we learnt to ignore certain things. They wil outgrow it but d difference is that your kids ar too young for dat royal rumble & survivor series. Tel them to always report themselves of any offence or threaten to deny d offender of certain priviledges like buying ice cream,meat pie,gala,no father xmas show or birthday celebration

you are on point Bro, thanks. I apply all these, think I need more patience with the boys, thank you all....

You see why girls are better?

'that's boys for you,don't worry you would soon enjoy them.

@ poster; laughter wan kill me as i dey read your post. Are you sure you re not the family that was seated exactly before our seat at the church last sunday?
with so much drama from the three kids.
@ yellow pawpaw and Ngenge; so on point.

Its natural; they will outgrow this just stop the beating abeg.

Bracing up for such attitudes from my two boys soon!

babyosisi: You see why girls are better?

I guess u didn't see d part where he wrote that the LESS THAN A YEAR baby girl has joined them?

wwwkaycom:
Dear nairalanders, kindly advise me on what to do. I have 2 little boys and a girl. The first is 4 years while the second is above 2. The two have almost the same height that some people think they are twins. The major issue is that the two of them fights a lot. They fight over everything, food, dresses, tv, etc. They compare every thing and fight over it while each is claiming that his is better. They will fight over food as if each would not have enough and at the end of the day there would be leftovers. I just came in from a store where I bought another tv now, one is already claiming the new one belong to him while his brother should take the other.
If one want to watch WAP tv, the other is asking for Mr Beans, then fight ensues. I think I have given these little boys more than enough beatings this year that I am now cautioning myself. I have also discovered that beating isnt going to solve the problem.They always wear their mum out anytime she is with them, I come back home everyday to meet them quarelling, enough complaints with one reporting the other to me. My mother in law has been saying they will outgrow it but I am really tired of these acrimonies btw 2 brothers. A[b]gain, their younger sister who is less than one is already showing some forms of aggressiveness, always wanting to join one in beating the other even with her feeble hands[/b]. See my house see drama. I put them in school and still pay teachers to organise extra lessons for them, this has not in anyway reduce their restlessness, what can I do? Kindly advise, Barka de sallah.

They will get over it with time
Just be fair at all times and don't take sides
Awwwww, little babygirl want to join

Poster,always give them examples of kids they knw who dont have siblings or somebody to play with. Tel them those kids ar lonely & unhappy. Also take,maybe ur 4 year old son to a friend or relative's place to stay dia for up to 4-7 days so dat your other kids wil miss him. They will appreciate each other more if they are together again. Me,I never marry o

Thank you all my dear people, your advises, suggestions and words of encouragement are appreciated, @Ngenge, you are wonderful, thank you all and God bless.

Op, for the sake of pure sanity in future on your boys... Don't ever......seriously ever take any of your children be it boy or girl to live with anybody , except possibly your parents, that's their grand parents ... Cause the heart of some humans , cannot be imagined...I tell you... And this is through personal experience , I saw through my own two blood brothers...
The only thing to do, is let them know more about God and the repercussion in fighting , each other...instead of standing up for one another...secondly, their mum should create time for them.... Teach them how to love themselves and not envy or create rivalry.. Thirdly, pray for them... And fourth, don't Favour anyone over the other...share your love and care equally...and also let the younger boy learn , how to respect his elder brother.... And the elder brother should not abuse the respect...yes , they are very young , no doubt but children learn and absorb knowledge and conditions very fast at tender ages...
It's well....

It must be a genetic problem.
Or purely environmental.
Sounds like your kids NEVER learned how to communicate like civilized humans. . . A learned behavior for sure! Who taught them how to FIGHT?
You think they do not watch YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND?

The beauty of SPANKING KIDS. . .is that they learn to SPANK THEMSELVES AND OTHERS!

You reap what you sow!
. . . AND VICE VERSA!

Kanwulia: It must be a genetic problem.
Or purely environmental.
Sounds like your kids NEVER learned how to communicate like civilized humans. . . A learned behavior for sure! Who taught them how to FIGHT?
You think they do not watch YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND?

The beauty of SPANKING KIDS. . .is that they learn to SPANK THEMSELVES AND OTHERS!

You reap what you sow!
. . . AND VICE VERSA!

Dont be judgemental Bro, I have never disagreed openly with my wife in the presence of the children. Infact, we hardly have disagreements not to talk of fighting. This thing started immediately the second boy was born. I also doubt if its genetic since I cant really point to such traits in my lineage or that of my wife though genetic issues may be deeper than this. I believe they will outgrow it also so I will as much as possible adopt some good suggestions here to help them in the meantime, cheers!

Fuji house of commotion. Just joking o. I think we are taking it too far by saying they might grow up to join secret cults etc. Haba! they will sure out- grow it, it's just a matter of time. Stop the beating and do more of talking to them. Purnishment too should be introduced instead of beating. Pls. be very very patient with them so that you don't hit them too hard and also inflicting injury on them, that will make them do worst. Show them love and also encourage them to report instead of fighting one another. Reading your post, I know you are a nice and caring father and my prayer for you and your faimly is God's protection, favour, blessing, love and long- life.

I'm still laughing ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fighting among boys is not unusual,i settle disputes till am near fainting point.When the dew settles,they are still best of pals

Now u see why modern research discourages screaming at kids, spanking (beating) children as forms of punishment? Unfortunately, in Africa we think these methods are affective. If u raise ur voice on ur kids, you have lost control and now resorting to intimidation. If you spank kids you only make them hardened with time. Once they get used to beating what else will u do - send them to jail? Children are products of their environment. I think someone in your house or cpd uses his/her hands a lot to settle scores. The kids are copying that.

1. stop them from watching too much TV. They MUST go to bed on or before 8pm
2. Allow them to play a lot outdoors to burn the youthful exuberance (they are fighting for space)
3. give them team activities to build together, and ensure when one fails all failed to encourage them help each other succeed
4. discourage negative competition by praising one child. Praise them together as a team
5. Display affection for ur wife publicly so the kids can learn to love by example. Hold her in ur arms, cuddle her, stroke her hair, give her pecks and say sweet words to her so ur boys can hear it and learn to be mild towards women when they grow up.

You will be fine bro. God is with your family.

Is this one ok ? or are you on awaiting insanity list

You are all great people, thank you all and God bless

Chei . . . see wetin sugar dey cause!

@ OP don't get frustrated with the suggestions. I think everyone means well. Don't hit your kids. Trust me they look at everything you do and will act that way. You say your wife is frustrated. They have already sensed that. Frustrated over two little boys? nah. Also when they argue over things you should not feed it. Don't start talking on and on about it. Say it once and leave it at that. You have to get them to the point that your words have to mean something. When they argue about TV and cannot work out a system on their own to share fairly then you take away tv privileges from them for a week. Make sure your wife is not putting them in front of the TV to get them out her hair. Since she sounds overwhelmed I would suggest that you treat her to a weekend at the spa every now and then. Have a nanny on stand by that you can call when she needs a break. As it is now your children are setting the tone in your home. That has to change ASAP

I love the team spiirit comment.
Op. Reduce the way yyou beat one for the other. It could bring enemity. Dont show them how much you love one more than the other too.
Buy things for them to share no matter how small it is.
God bless your family and mine too o.

After beating them, they develop tough skin, as they grow , they become more aggressive.

Talk, talk, talk. They should report any matter to you or their mum so you settle the dispute.
Funny thread .

I had a neighbor with kids like this. Three boys before one girl. You need to see the girl fighting like a boy! She threatens all the girls in the neighborhood, and ended up with just boys as friends.

I wish you well.

Op, you'll be surprrised to see how closed the boys wud be when they're grown. My twin sis and I used to fight so much that it somtyms left our poor mama in tears . What she used to do then was to separate us for sometime. She took us to different rooms and left us there to vent out the anger. I agree with some of the comments about the boys learning how to fight as a result of their father's spank.

There are numerous other punishments for naughty behaviour, tell them to face d wall (we call it naughty corner ), the 4 year old shud b able to understand the concept of action and consequences. Take their favorite toy away and make them understand you're doing that because of their behaviour.

May God give you and ur wife the wisdom to raise your kids ryt ( and me too o!)