If Demons Could Talk By Ikechukwu Mbachu
Posted: October 16, 2013 - 21:47
Ikechukwu Mbachu
By Ikechukwu Mbachu
I had a funny and telling experience last two weeks. My Cameroonian friend woke me up with an early morning phone call, his voice strained. I ruminated on what will necessitate such an early call and asked him what the matter was, expecting him to unleash one tale of horror or happiness, He did neither; instead he started asking for directions to a particular church in Nigeria.
I was flabbergasted and sightly angry and could not help but flippantly ask him if he didn't know I am not a church goer. He then told me that indeed it was a serious matter. How serious was the matter? I asked, did anyone die? No. Is any one in a great deal of danger? No. Is anyone sick? Yes and No, He answered, I asked him who the sick person was, because having seen him the previous day, I knew if anyone was sick, it was most probably not him, He told me, he is not sick, that it was his brother in Cameron who was sick. I then asked him the nature of the ailment, he launched on a tirade of nonsensical statements about his brother been troubled by demons and other malevolent spiritual forces; all the symptoms he mentioned simply described a schizophrenic and I told him so. I advised him to take his brother to a psychiatrist for proper care. He would have none of that, instead he placed all the blames on the table of spiritual attacks from several imaginary and perceived physical cum spiritual enemies. Since I was in no mood to argue, I decided not to embark on the arduous task of vitiating his views. I simply accepted, but wondered if there was no church in Cameron that could perform the “deliverance” as he kept on calling it that he needed to travel all the way to Nigeria for this ritual.
He then told me how enamored he was by this Nigerian pastor and his great spiritual powers, such that he knows that at the sight of this man all the demons troubling his brother will disappear. I was impressed by the absolute faith and had to ask him what made him feel so sure about the powers of the man. He said “my brother you never see anything” I said “anything like what?” He called the pastor's name, only then did he tell me what convinced him to come to Nigeria to see the pastor. He told he just watched a clip of the man's antics on YouTube. I promptly replied I am used to seeing poor people visit the man for deliverance and I felt it was simply an indication of the parlous socio-economic state of the nation. I also mentioned hearing different tales about an ex-Super Eagles star's encounter with the man. My friend told me those were small fries, I told him I also know about the Presidents and former Presidents who has visited him for different reasons. Suddenly, my friend, blurted out “do you know Mij Ekyi?” (names changed) I said “yes” “He has just been delivered in this church” He said. I shouted in absolute surprise, “you don't mean it!” He simply directed me to a website where I saw a topnotch Nollywood star act out the best script of his life. Personally, my view is that apart from the mistake about his shoes, since I started watching his flicks, this was his best performance so far. After watching the charade of a deliverance, a puerile circus show and classic exercise in spiritual abracadabra. I could not help but ask some questions.
I thought when it comes to matter of demons, only the poor cry, I never knew the rich also cry. Seeing a respected Nollywood star wallowing in a spiritual stupor left me wondering. Why do Nigerians still believe such fairy tales? If an exposed and enlightened actor can take part in the odious display of religious chicanery, what would the commoners do? Is the kind of mindset that will develop the nation?
Is Nigeria the headquarters of demons of the world? From the number of posters and programs on exorcisms, deliverance etc, it would be safe to say that Nigeria has the highest number of demons in the world. There is no kind of demons that these charlatans have not claimed to have power to exorcise,just name the phenomenon and there is a demon for it in Nigeria. It is only in Nigeria that I have heard of exam-failure demon, pregnancy-stopping demon, bloodsucking demon, poverty demon, asthma demon, disappointment demons and plenty more. The way these charlatans talk about demons makes it seem like the Nigerian airspace is full and cluttered with them and these demons might pretty soon start dropping on us from the sky.
I thought our major export product was oil, when did it religious imbecility become our major export? I am not against Nigerian religious leaders using religion to make money or using it to earn foreign exchange, since religion itself has become a major form of tourism, however their modus operandi need not be so crude and so outdated.
The unfortunate and amazing part of thing is that while the number of programs on deliverance and people who claim to possess the power to chase out demons keeps increasing astronomically, the number of demons shows no signs of reducing, if anything they are growing in numbers.
Truth be told, the total and absolute belief of Nigerians in demons borders on ignorance. It is ignorance and poverty that makes makes most of them believe in these spiritual gobbledygook, hocus pocus and balderdash. However, I am not surprised at the ignorance of the many. Like the English poet Geoffrey Chaucer sarcastically asked, "if gold rust what shall Iron do?" If highly education, exposed and enlightened rulers can blame spiritual forces for all our woes, what would the commoners do? Is it not in the same Nigeria that Ministers of Power (past and present) openly and shamelessly blames demons and other evil esoteric forces for the energy problems in Nigeria.
Is it not the same Nigeria where a former minister of aviation and the present minister of aviation have engaged themselves in war of words on the cause of frequent air crashes in the nation. As educated as we are should this argument rise at all? Should educated people be discussing the spiritual forces responsible for air mishaps?
Is not the same Nigeria where politicians blatantly rig elections and claim God gave them victory?
Is it not the same Nigeria where some members of the national Assembly are planning a national day of prayer to stop air crashes in the country? They forget the golden maxim, “ Heaven help those who help themselves” Nigerians, especially the leaders refuse to understand that even if spiritual forces played any role in these matters, they can do little to help us because we have tied their hands with our actions and conducts.
All these talks about demons, witches and wizards is symptomatic of the high level of frustration and hatred in the land, it is an outpouring of the ill-feeling pervading the land. Are not ashamed of ourselves? We need to ask ourselves what is wrong with us. Why are these demons not in Germany, Japan, Finland and other developed countries? Is it that they fear the people of these country or what? Why are they only found in places riddled with poverty and corruption such as Nigeria, The truth be told, the only demons we need to deliver ourselves from are the demons of corruption, demons of mismanagement, demons of laziness, tribalism, nepostism etc. And if we are waiting for esoteric forces to exorcise these demons in us, we will be waiting for the proverbial Godot. Methinks it's time we begin to tell ourselves the truth, we often resort to blaming esoteric forces for our misfortunes because we are afraid to accept our weaknesses and failures. We are afraid to face our our problems headlong, we are afraid to face our problems pragmatically and analytically.
My question to the charlatans is why is they always find it easy to cast out personal demons, but almost impossible to tackle the national demons harassing the nation. Is it that there are no national or regional demons in the country? In the wake of the numerous disasters in recent times; I doubt if any of them will deny the existence of such demons. What are these exorcists doing to send these demons to the bottomless pit? It seems they are only good in exorcising imagined, concocted, and non-existent personal demons while the real demons are busy ravaging the land. I wonder why there is so much concentration on spiritual and supernatural demons in Nigeria while the real demons continues to ride roughshod over Nigerians.
I know people will ask what real demons I am talking about; Well, the answer is not far-fetched, I am talking about the demons of Boko Haram, the demons of endless academic strike, the demon of kidnapping, the demon of armed robbery, the demon of accidents (road and air) the demons of early child marriage, the demon of erratic power supply and countless other demons in the land. These are the real and tangible demons plaguing Nigeria not some invented demons.
It is demoralizing to hear most Nigerians in high and low places adduce most socio-economic problems to demonic forces. I know exactly what the demons (if they existed) would be thinking and saying to Nigerians if they could talk.
They would tell Nigerians they are not responsible for the all heinous crimes committed by that noxious and murderous group who says western education is evil. They would tell Nigerians that the activities of the murderous bands have nothing to do with them, but more to do with the resolve of some disgruntled urchins to make the nation ungovernable for the president.
If demons could talk, I am sure they will be telling Nigerians they are not responsible for the interminable strike keeping most Nigerian students at home,they would be screaming at Nigerians to ask their Presidents, and his minister of education why they can't keep to their part of the agreement with Academic Staff Union of Nigeria.
If demons could talk, they would be pointing accusing fingers at the bad roads, careless drivers, arbitrary police check point, badly maintained vehicle for the incessant road mishaps in the country. They would tell Nigerians who call them blood sucking demons and accuse them of been the architect of fatal accidents that if the roads were good, the drivers careful, regulations followed to the latter, if the vehicles were regularly maintained, their blood sucking activities will be reduced to the barest minimum.
If demons could talk, they would tell the President, the governors, the senators, the ministers and the pastors blaming them for all the problems in the nation that they are been very economical with the truth. They would tell them that most of the problems in the country is not caused by demons but by bad rulers.
If demons could talk, they will be telling Nigerians that most of the diseases attributed to them have natural causes, they would be telling Nigerians to stop falling prey to charlatans who are simply on one mission, namely, to hoodwink the vulnerable using their ignorance.
If demons could talk they would tell Nigerians they are not responsible for the billions been looted from the nation treasury in the name of corruption. They would ask Nigerians to hold their President, Governors and lawmakers responsible.
If demons could talk, they will tell Nigerians demons and spiritual agents have little or no role to play in the development of a nation. They would tell Nigerians that most developed nations are not spiritual, They would tell Nigerians most developed country decided to stop dancing to the gallery and decided to face their problems squarely and pragmatically. Nigerians should stop using spiritual forces as excuse for their failures, their inadequacies, their laziness, their shortcomings, their flawed mentality, their “mumuism” They should stop invoking supernatural deities for every of their problems. Most of our problems in Nigeria are not super natural, they are natural and should be solved naturally with our nature given intellects. If only demons could talk, they will have a lot to tell Nigerians!
Ikechukwu Mbachu
Brandenburg Technical University, Cottbus, Germany