Read This! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Read This! by donpapa(m): 6:59pm On Jul 05, 2008 |
jOHNNY AND THE CLASS TEACHER A teacher was teaching her pupils about the use of taste buds. So, she told them to bring to class the following day liquid contents and she would tell them what it was they brought. The following day, Sean brought his drink and the teacher tasted it. "This is apple drink," the teacher anounced to the class. "You're right", Sean said, wondering how the teacher got to know it was apple. Again, Sandra brought her drink and the teacher tasted it. "It's orange juice", the teacher said. "You got it!", Sandra said. Finally, Johnny brought his liquid content and the teacher tasted it but couldn't tell what it was. After some time, he call Johnny to the front to tell the whole class what it was he brought. "It's Scarlett, my dog's urine. |
| Re: Read This! by donpapa(m): 7:09pm On Jul 05, 2008 |
JOHNNY & SHANE SHANE: johnny please i need £50 my pregnant wife is sick again. JOHNNY: When you should call for help you didn't. SHANE: When  JOHNNY:Did you think i was too busy to assist you when you were sowing the seed? |
| Re: Read This! by mohawkchic(f): 8:22pm On Jul 05, 2008 |
donpapa: ~LOL . . .Good Question!!~ |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 4:07am On Jul 06, 2008 |
nice one |
| Re: Read This! by Jeovy(m): 6:10am On Jul 06, 2008 |
Ituen,do you need a scarlett on ice? |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 6:29am On Jul 06, 2008 |
Thanks brother but if u need help sowing a seed, call on me |
| Re: Read This! by Jeovy(m): 11:55am On Jul 06, 2008 |
ok,will do |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 6:11am On Jul 07, 2008 |
this is called BROTHERLY LOVE |
| Re: Read This! by Temivict(f): 10:22am On Jul 07, 2008 |
A nice question to asked |
| Re: Read This! by segunpc(m): 10:44am On Jul 07, 2008 |
i can also help u know! |
| Re: Read This! by donpapa(m): 3:47pm On Jul 07, 2008 |
ituen:Thx man, i'll be back for more |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 10:26pm On Jul 07, 2008 |
@don papa When u come back, make sure the joke rocks or else . . . . . |
| Re: Read This! by Jeovy(m): 10:35pm On Jul 07, 2008 |
else we send you back to jail where you are coming from |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 11:24pm On Jul 07, 2008 |
n wa oh, the boy na ex-convict? |
| Re: Read This! by clemcykul(f): 10:44am On Jul 08, 2008 |
yep |
| Re: Read This! by donpapa(m): 8:15pm On Jul 08, 2008 |
ituen: or else WHAT Jeovy:HOW YOU TAKE KNOW?  |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 5:24am On Jul 09, 2008 |
Dont worry, Bleep up make i see  |
| Re: Read This! by clemcykul(f): 9:13am On Jul 09, 2008 |
ok i will  |
| Re: Read This! by phillip001(m): 2:17pm On Jul 09, 2008 |
pastor was going to church, along the way he came across a girl selling bread "bread, buy your sweet bread". He asked the girl "why should i buy your bread" the girl answered "because Jesus is the bread of life", the pastor was impressed and bought the bread. He saw another girl selling apples, and he asked her why he should buy her apples, and the girl replied "because i am the apple of God's eye". the pastor bought the apple. Later he saw a calabar man selling yam, he asked the man why he should buy his yam, the calabar man replied "because God says 'I YAM THAT I YAM' [size=8pt][/size] |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 6:57am On Jul 10, 2008 |
IS THIS UR THREAD you even copied someone's username. Thats why Sen added 001 |
| Re: Read This! by clemcykul(f): 8:11am On Jul 10, 2008 |
*kncks philip on the head* kpoi! |
| Re: Read This! by donpapa(m): 6:28pm On Oct 10, 2008 |
THE MAGIC KITCHEN Little Johnny is a houseboy who everyday, drinks the wine of his boss and puts water in the bottle to replace the wine he drank. but the boss grew suspicious and decided to buy pasties (a french wine that changes colour if you add water). Little Johnny as usual, drank from the wine and topped it up with water (to replace what he drank). Unfortunately, immediately he added water the pasties became milky. when the boss returned and noticed it, he knew he had nailed Little Johnny. Little Johnny also knew that he was in trouble and decided to stay put in the kitchen. The boss told his wife that he would call Little Johnny to come and acknowlege his evil deeds. 'Little Johnny!' he called from the sitting room. Little Johnny answered, "Yes, Boss". "who drank my pasteries?" No answer, the Boss asked again, still there was no answer, so he went to the kitchen to meet him there. "Are you insane or what? Why is it that when i call you, you say 'Yes boss,' but when i ask you a question you don't answer me?" Little Johnny retorted, "when you are in the kitchen, you don't understand anything at all, except your name." "Is that so?" asked the boss. "Okay, you stay beside madam, while i'll go into the kitchen, then you ask me a question." BLittle Johnny agreed. The boss went into the kitchen and Little Johnny shouted, "Boss!" he answered, "Yes Little Johnny!" "Who goes into the maids' bedroom when the madam is not there?'" No answer. Little Johnny shouted again, "Boss, i say who made the maid pregnant?" No answer. Third time, "Boss, i say who made the maid pregnant? the boss ran out of the kitchen and laments ''wonders shall never end. it is true that when you are in the kitchen, you don't understand anything at all, except your name." THE POWER OF SUGGESTION A preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each sunday. some on suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more. "And just how would i go about doing that?" He asked. "It is very simple. First, you turn up the airconditioner. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile you dangle a chain and swing it in slow arc above the pulpit and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate" So the next sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and behold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. The following week the reverend tried it again and just as the last of congregation was getting mesmerized, the chain on the watch hit the pulpit and the springs and parts flew apart. "Shit!" Exclaimed the pastor it took them a week to clean the church. READING BETWEEN THE LINES Johnny, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment descibing Bob Smith, one of his programmers. 1) Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found. 2) Hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3) Wasting company time talking to colleagues, Bob never 4) thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5) finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended 6) measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7) breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8 ) Vanity in spite of his accomplishments and profund 9) Knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be 10) classed as a high-calibre-employee, the type which cannot be 11) dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be 12) promoted to executive management,and a proposal will be 13) executed as soon as possible. signed, Johnny A memo was soon sent following the letter: John, That idiot was reading over my shoulder while i wrote the report sent you earlier. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines above (1,3,5, etc, ) for my true assessment of him. Regards, Johnny. |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 5:31am On Oct 11, 2008 |
the "johnny" joke was superb |
| Re: Read This! by MrInfo1(m): 7:14am On Oct 11, 2008 |
You've said that b4 |
| Re: Read This! by ituen(m): 7:30am On Oct 11, 2008 |
sorry oh, na me find trouble |
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