it has been a long while i haven't had a good laugh but this time i had to fetch something,
Relax & enjoy

(1)The child and his mother:
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy,
why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach
her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every
bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs
grey!”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why
grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

(2)Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on
a business trip so he went to the destination
first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send
his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he
mistyped a letter and his note was directed
instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose
husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email,
she took one look at the monitor, let out a
piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead
faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room
and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for
your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

(3)Will’s experience at the airport:

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find
his luggage in the airport baggage area. He
went to the lost luggage office and told the
woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on
the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because
they were trained professionals and he was in
good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived
yet?”

(4)Clever kids:

A police officer found a perfect hiding place
for watching for speeding motorists.
One day, the officer was amazed when
everyone was under the speed limit, so he
investigated and found the problem.
A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of
the road with a huge hand painted sign which
said “Radar Trap Ahead.”
A little more investigative work led the officer
to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about
100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign
reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of
change.

(5)Mouthology:

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way
he asked the sailor:
“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology,
Geography, physiology?
The sailor said no to all his questions.
Professor: What the hell do you know on earth.
You will die of illiteracy.
After a while the boat started sinking. The
Sailor asked the Professor, do you know
swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat
your assology, headology & you will dieology
because of your mouthology.

(6)Captain:

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that
there is a pirate ship coming towards his
position. He asks a sailor to get him his red
shirt.
The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red
shirt?”
The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you
guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.”
They fight off the pirates eventually.
The very next day, the Captain is alerted that
50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat.
He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

(7)Elephant:

The class teacher asks students to name an
animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says,
“Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that
begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two
elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for
bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal
beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall:
“Maybe an elephant!”