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Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? - Romance - Nairaland

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Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by 4clique: 10:11am On Oct 22, 2013
There is nothing as bad as stabbing your best friend in the back especially over a girl. People say that is what you do when you date your best friend’s ex. Everyone I asked except for some mischievous ones seemed to be of the opinion that it is a thing that should never be done.

Is there an exception to the rule?

One guy says it is as nasty as dating your best friend’s sister. It could be done but why bother to get yourself into the complications and bad feelings it is definitely going to generate between you and your best friend. There are lots of girls out there waiting to be conquered he says so why bother with one already conquered by your best friend. I am tempted to agree with him. Chances are as is often the case that your friend and his ex may still have left over feelings for each other and things could get messy. You could lose your friendship with your best friend which took you many years to build.

Love can be foolish or do I rather say, we can be foolish in love some times. Someone I talked to said something that interested me. He said “you never know who you will fall in love with but still there is a code of ethics in friendship, if you are a true friend you won’t date your best friend’s ex. In Africa he says a best friend is like a brother. You don’t do things like that to a brother.” He is absolutely right Sometimes you really don’t want it to happen but somehow it happens anyway.

So what if you genuinely fall in love with your best friend’s ex girlfriend and she genuinely want to be with you. What is to be done then? Under what circumstance is it okay to pursue your friend’s former love interest?
I would genuinely say never another person said. If you notice such relationships never last long. He says. “Often the strain of trying to hide it from your friend would kill it. Besides you will always feel guilty because you know that you are breaking trust with your friend. Is anyone worth losing the love and trust of your best friend?” There should never be any circumstance that should permit a good friend to date his friend’s ex. To me it is a form of betrayal.” I agree with him completely. I feel it is a situation if not carefully handled can do damage and hurt those involved greatly. Your friend’s ex should be off limits to you.

Why am I saying this? It is because Feelings don’t die easily. Many times it is hard to completely get over someone we loved and shared so much with. We always still have many memories from the time we shared. So when we break up with our lover and try to move on we expect all our friends to move on with us in the direction we are heading especially our most intimate friend- our best friend. We do not expect him to go backwards and begin to try to own what we left behind. It will hurt and break trust. This is because we may still feel that our ex belongs to us somehow at least her memory still belongs to us. Even if we are no longer dating a part of our ex still remains with us. It would be very hurtful for our friends to disrespect this fact. It is too weird and complicated for a good friend to leave all the girls in the world to go for a friend’s ex especially knowing how his friends feel about his ex. No good friend would do that.

Relationship expert Karen Sherman agrees. She says the only time it might be okay is if your friend has moved on to another relationship” But she still insists that even if the two have split emotions take a while to heal so it is unlikely the friend is going to be okay with it. Atwood another specialist says, “If you decide to pursue the ex, you should be prepared to lose the friendship… It is best to look for love somewhere else.”

We would love to know how you feel. Has this ever happened to you or anyone you know? Is it ever acceptable to date a friend’s ex?




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Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by Nobody: 10:36am On Oct 22, 2013
undecided undecided undecided
Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by Nobody: 3:37pm On Oct 22, 2013
hmmm OP exactly what i needed , a friend of 7 yrs did tried it with me , becaus we were like brothers and amy girls see him as a brother , so he tried it with one ex of mine because wen i broke up with her she always wanna try reach me tru him na so my guy go ask am out ooo, fast forward me and the chick became friend's again na in the chick tell me everything about how my guy visits her whenever he was on the Island , hmm when i got home because i didn't want girls issue to cause division between my friend and me i spoke to him like a brother like bro dat kind tin no jell oooo, like he shouldn't ve done dat and asked him to just letvus forget about it.

Recently we had an issue that made us stopped talking so my gf was talking to me to make us reconcile naw, she now asked if it wasn't a girl dat made us fight sha ooo i said no that i can't be mad because of sth like that that i can't let a lady destroy the brotherly love i've got for him , she now asked if she could tell me sth i said no problem , she said wen we broke up sometime last year and she was tryna to connect with me tru ma supposed friend she said the mf asked her out ooo , i was shocked like why dia guy wan hurt ma feelings naw, this is a guy i could donate a kidney to free of charge , for u to know how much i value the friendship when the nigguh told me his family was moving away , when i got into ma shower i wept like i was gonna miss a part of me , give him stuffz + money on his bday , ma last bday he only sent a text in the afternoon.

My Point is don't try it because my friend tried it with me and i won't lie to you i feel betrayed.
Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by Nobody: 4:16pm On Oct 22, 2013
I wud.But I wud tell her the just.Don't give a Bleep if she says No.
Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by xynerise: 4:23pm On Oct 22, 2013
Fishes plenty for river. Why must I eat the fish my bestfriend chop remain? undecided
Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by 25omega(m): 4:25pm On Oct 22, 2013
Nolongthing1: hmmm OP exactly what i needed , a friend of 7 yrs did tried it with me , becaus we were like brothers and amy girls see him as a brother , so he tried it with one ex of mine because wen i broke up with her she always wanna try reach me tru him na so my guy go ask am out ooo, fast forward me and the chick became friend's again na in the chick tell me everything about how my guy visits her whenever he was on the Island , hmm when i got home because i didn't want girls issue to cause division between my friend and me i spoke to him like a brother like bro dat kind tin no jell oooo, like he shouldn't ve done dat and asked him to just letvus forget about it.
Recently we had an issue that made us stopped talking so my gf was talking to me to make us reconcile naw, she now asked if it wasn't a girl dat made us fight sha ooo i said no that i can't be mad because of sth like that that i can't let a lady destroy the brotherly love i've got for him , she now asked if she could tell me sth i said no problem , she said wen we broke up sometime last year and she was tryna to connect with me tru ma supposed friend she said the mf asked her out ooo , i was shocked like why dia guy wan hurt ma feelings naw, this is a guy i could donate a kidney to free of charge , for u to know how much i value the friendship when the nigguh told me his family was moving away , when i got into ma shower i wept like i was gonna miss a part of me , give him stuffz + money on his bday , ma last bday he only sent a text in the afternoon.

My Point is don't try it because my friend tried it with me and i won't lie to you i feel betrayed.
sounds like you had more than brotherly love for that dude grin grin you cried in the shower grin grin

poster

bro code:
don't date your bro's sister
don't date your bro's ex
don't date your bro's mom (this happens)
Always have your bro's back
don't let a girl come between bro's hence the phrase "bro's before ho's"
a selfish bro is no bro of mine
Re: Can You Date Your Bestfriends Ex? by Nobody: 7:39pm On Oct 22, 2013
25omega: sounds like you had more than brotherly love for that dude grin grin you cried in the shower grin grin

poster

bro code:
don't date your bro's sister
don't date your bro's ex
don't date your bro's mom (this happens)
Always have your bro's back
don't let a girl come between bro's hence the phrase "bro's before ho's"
a selfish bro is no bro of mine

werey i no be homo i really like the guy like a brother we were always together anywayz nice points.

The MF really fall hand.

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