Tuesday, September 3, 2013

5 Ways You Should Never Talk to Your Wife
Women are obviously different. I would guess there are different opinions on how a husband should or should not communicate with his wife. Were I married to a different man with a different communication style, this blog might have listed different ways not to communicate.

These are my five, and they are the result of 24 years with Mark:

1. With attack intensity. On any given day, motherhood can be a
strategic battle. So if a husband needs to communicate and approaches in attack mode, he may get a woman warrior reaction. This is the fight-or-flight response taking over in her brain. It is much better for a husband to approach softly.

2. With his mind already made up. We should operate as single-mindedly as possible in matters concerning our family. To be single-minded takes coordination, negotiation and lots of communication. If a husband approaches a discussion with his mind firmly made up, leaving no room for open ruminating or joint problem-solving, it can be frustrating.

3. Late at night. I am too tired late at night. That’s just me. The brain has only so much RAM, and I am out of mine after 9 p.m. for any complicated conversations.

4. With criticism. Criticism in communication takes my focus away from the topic.  Instead, I find myself defensively focused on my behavior and our relationship. If the topic is our relationship, that makes it even worse because I feel under attack. Attack makes me distrust, and trust is crucial to relationships.

5. With thousands of words. I get worn out listening. I get lost in the purpose of the communication.

I’d like to hear from you and learn more ways husbands should not communicate with their wives.

5 Ways Not to Communicate with Your Husband

1.    With bad timing.
All of us can have tough days. And all of us have issues we need to address with our spouses. But there are certain times that your husband does not want you to unload problems on him or give him a list of things he needs to do. When he walks in the door after work, when he’s eating dinner, when he’s out on a date with you…all of these are examples of times that should be off limits.

2.    With disrespect.
Not many things will anger a man more than someone being disrespectful to him. So, wives, respect his judgment. Don’t constantly question his decisions. Respect his abilities.  Give him a chance to fix the sink before you tell him you’re going to call the plumber.

3.    With abstract feelings, not concrete facts.
Of course, we all know that men and women aren’t wired the same way. We also know that women communicate more with feelings and men with facts. Do you want your husband to “get it?” You can start by sharing your feelings, but then tell him exactly what you need him to do. For example, don’t just say, “Sometimes you just don’t get it” or, “I wish you would just be more understanding.” Give him specific marching orders of what you want him to do that will help change those feelings. Men can’t decipher feelings very well, but we are good at taking clear orders.

4.    With multiple issues.
Most men have a fairly good ability to process things you tell them, as long as it’s one thing at a time and as long as they aren’t doing anything else when you make the request. When you throw too many things at them at one time, they may not hear anything. So that you know he hears you and understands you, have him stop what he is doing and look at you. Then, tell him one thing and have him repeat it back to you. Then you’ll know he got it.

5.    With assumption.
Your husband really does want to please you. He wants to be your hero. But, he cannot read your mind. When you make assumptions and he does not come through, you’ll probably get frustrated and say things like, “You should have remembered that I don’t like pickles on my sandwich” or “Why did you buy that? You should have known that I wouldn’t like it.” Don’t assume; be clear and tell him what’s on your mind.

Source - http://www.markmerrill.com
at 10:08 PM

Saved in my memory for future use.

I hear

Too thick-SKINDED for all these sentiment Bull-CRAP!!!!
You cuss me I cuss you!!!!
Simple.

Kanwulia: Too thick-SKINDED for all these sentiment Bull-CRAP!!!!
You cuss me I cuss you!!!!
Simple.

gbam.



My personality stays with me but my attitude depends on YOU,IRRESPECTIVE OF GENDER OR MARITAL STATUS

Niluv: Saved in my memory for future use.

future use ke How old are u now

Sooooo true...