Why does a blonde smile at lightning?

She thinks she's getting her picture taken.

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Q. How do you teach a blonde math?

A. Subtract her clothes, divide her
legs and square root her.




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fortune 500 company opened a brand new sales
territory deep in the heart of China. This area
was so remote that few foreigners had ever been
there before. The company decided to send it's
best salespeople there one at a time, for one
month each. The idea being to aquaint them with
the people and customs of the region.

Well, the first salesman spent a month there and
then it was another salesman's turn. The two of
them meet at a remote train station as the first
is leaving and the second is on his way in. "Man
it was great" says the first, "the scenery is
beautiful, the people are friendly and everything
is so cheap."

Then the first salesman cracks a devious smile,
"and I've got a special surprise for you. Go into
any resturaunt and order the extra special
egg-roll, hold the hotsauce. Got that?" "Extra
special egg-roll hold the hotsauce " the second
salesman replies. "Right" says the first "you're
going to love it!" And with that the two part
company.

Well the first night there the new salesman
remembers the advice, goes to a resturaunt
and orders the extra special egg-roll, hold the
hotsauce. "Extra special egg-roll hold the
hotsauce, one dollar" Says the waiter. The man
gives the waiter a dollar.

"You now in strange exotic land , " says
the waiter, "where many words have special and
hidden meanings" and he points to curtain leading
to a hidden room. The salesman walks through the
curtain and behind it is the most beautful, dark
haired oriental girl he has ever seen. She is
totally naked and the salesman has a hard-on
inside of five seconds. Without saying a word
she drops to her knees, undoes his pants and
gives him the most incredible Mouth Gig of his
entire life.

The salesman cannot beleive his good fortune.
After all he has many, many dollars and a whole
month to spend them. Each night he goes from
resturaunt to resturaunt and it's always the same.
Extra special egg-roll hold the hotsauce, you are
now in strange exotic land where many words have
special and hidden meanings, incredible naked
girl, unbeleivable Mouth Gig.

On his last day there, on the way to the train
station he figures he just has to do it one more
time. This time, however, he's running late and a
big hurry. "Give me the extra special egg-roll",
in his haste he neglects to say hold the hotsauce
"here's the dollar." "You now in strange exotic
land , " the salesman interupts "yeah, yeah, yeah
where many words have special and hidden meanings,
blah, blah, blah." And off he goes to the back
room.

He can't beleive his good fortune, this girl is
even more ravishing than any of the others.
"What a way to go out" he thinks as he hurridly
un-buckles his pants. She's on him in a second,
it's feeling fantastic, until ,

She chomps down with all her might on his pecker.
"OH MY GOD , " he screams in agony "why the hell
did you BITE me?" He lays writhing on the floor
in pain, blood gushing from his nearly severed
member.

"You now in strange exotic land , " says the
girl, wiping the blood from her mouth, "where
many words have special and hidden meanings."
She smiles a wry little smile. "You forget to say
hold the hotsauce , "

"Extra special egg-roll WITH hotsauce have little
bite to it."

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Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.

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I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd
like some fries"

The girl at the counter said "Would you like
some fries with that"



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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized, go away!




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what's this?
a lyrics?