JONA, SISI STELLA nko?

‘’Hello Jona, hello..this network is bad now, what is Adenuga doing gan sef....Ehn ehn Jona, shey you can hear me clearer now?’’

‘’yes baba, the network is clearer now, Good morning Baba..This one that you are calling me this early morning, hope there is no problem in Ota?. Hope the chickens are eating well? And I hope Bola is cooking sumptuous meals for you?

‘’you talk too much jare, u have not even allowed me to talk the talk that i called you for. what is even your wahala sef?.

''Sorry baba,but i was just greeting you''

''Okay, how is mama Patience''

''she is fine baba''

''Sisi Stella nko?''

''she is fine baba, what is it about her?''

'' See, if there is no reason, they will not call a woman kumolu oo?

‘’baba, you know I cant understand that one you just said kunmulu or what?. What is the meaning baba?

‘’leave that one. See, How do we want to do this our daughters case that people are beginning to make noise about?

‘’which of your daughters baba?’’

‘’hmmmmmmm, you see, a child cannot know how to eat eko without staining her hands and you know an Elder can not be in the oja and the child's head will be bent’’

‘’I don’t understand baba, please don’t talk to me in parables’’?

‘’ haven’t you read the papers today?. Cant you see how bad belle people want to destroy your already bad reputation just because Sisi Stella bought two toys for #225million’’

‘’ Jesus!, baba, I will get back to you, let me order for the papers right away.’’

‘’okay, make sure you call me back oooo’’

‘’alright sir’’

‘’Abati !, Abati !!. Where is this boy for God’s sake?. Only God knows where he has gone to. Abati !’’

‘’ yes sir, sorry, I was busy inside.’’

‘’sorry for yourself. Why haven’t you brought the day’s newspapers for me? People are ridiculing my government and I do not even know of it, why am I paying you then?. If you are not careful, you will take the next available flight to Lagos and join your colleagues that are writing rubbish. Get me today’s newspapers as fast as possible’’

‘’ I will do that right away sir’’

Abati brings the papers for him

‘’ Screams!.. yeeee, Stella has killed me oooo. Haaa, #225 million, I just hope Faggae does not sees this, he will not gree for me at all. But Abati, how do you think your colleagues could have gotten this information? Including the chasis number of the cars?,chai…I fear you people ooo’’

‘’sir, there must have been an inside source. maybe someone who was not settled wanted to punish her by spoiling her image’’

‘Abati, the way you reason at times surprises me. If after more than a Year in this palace, you don’t think outside the box, then I don’t think you are not going to get better. Call me Okupe my friend’’

‘’Ok sir. Doctor, oga npe yin oooo’’

‘’ehn ehn. You don’t mean it. This early morning?. Has Baraje or Liar Mohammed said anything that is more than their mouth? so that I can know how to deal with them?

‘’don’t ask me too many ibeere. By the time you get there, you will know what is wrong’’

‘’oga, I learnt you want to see me, hope no problem Sir’’

‘’ I know that your own reasoning is sharp, that is why I called for you. Have you seen this #225million news that is ridiculing us?.who do you think could be responsible for this?’’

‘’ hmmmm, oga, truly, this must be the enemies of our Transformation agenda at work. They just want to spoil your image before the public. I suspect the opposition at work. It might just be a ploy to further convince ASUU not to agree with our ‘no money’ position. And we need to act fast to prevent further embarrassment.

‘’Please call Gulak for me, he’s sharper than you guys.’’

Gulak comes before him
‘’ Gulak, you are welcome, please how do we handle this Stella”s case that is spoiling my image in the eyes of the public. You know very soon, ASUU,APC and every other yeye anti-corruption group will be calling for her head and I am sure you know that that lady is very very useful for 2015. You know how valuable she was in 2011 and the plans to make her co-ordinate Neighbour to neighbor in 2015. How can we save her head and divert Nigerians attention from her case.?

‘’thank you for always counting on me as your political adviser Sir, let us place a call through to her first so that she can confirm if its true or not’’

‘’ we sabi as e dey go now, do we need any confirmation again ehn Gulak?. Anyway, oya, call her’’

‘’ Hello Stella, its me Gulak, how are you?’’

‘’ I am not fine ooo, see how the papers want to finish me today, did I offend them?, (sobs) why are they after my job after all I did for Oga to win the 2011 elections, they have blown the issue too far now and I don’t just know what to do. if I catch the person that leaked the information, I swear he/she will not see tomorrow.

‘’ Don’t worry Stella, we will find a way out of this mess, what is your schedule for Monday next week?’’

‘’I only have some meetings with some women groups from my village’’

‘’okay, I will get back to you as soon as possible’’

‘’ so what is the way forward Gulak’’

‘’Ermmm, yes sir, you Know Nigerians, they will only shout for some days and then keep quiet. I will suggest that she doesn’t say anything on the matter so that it doesn’t become like the case of ‘act of God’, then I will also suggest that we send her out of the country so that the tension will reduce before she comes back, then we will pre-occupy the media with other issues like the PDP crises, National dialogue, the protests against ASUU wahala and other stuffs like that. Also, let us announce that a committee has been raised to probe the case’’

‘’Good one Gulak, your head is very correct. Please give him chilled wine for his wisdom’’

‘’ Yes Sir, I also have something to add’’

‘’ehn ehn, what do you want to add Okupe?’’

‘’ In addition, let us use the Senate and House of Reps to raise the ASUU wahala, that one will take people’s mind off Stella’s case. Also sir, you remember that in 2010, Fashola bought three bullet-proof toys at 200million each totaling 600million, also, that Ogbeni also bought one for a ridiculous amount like this one, let us remind the people and fly that kite in addition to what Gulak has said’’

‘’ hey, did you just say the amount Stella bought her own is ridiculous?’’

‘’No. Oga, I was just playing with words. i dare not say that’’

‘’Better. Over to you and Abati to handle the media aspect, also, notify the IGP so that anybody that dares protests is arrested for disturbing public order. In the mean time, let me talk to Stella myself’

''Hello Stella, its me Gulak calling back, Oga wants to speak with you''

''yee...does he wants to announce my sack?''

''No ooo, he only wants to talk to you. The next Voice You will hear shall be that of his Excellency''

''Hello Stella, how are you''

'' I am fine Sir, I am sorry to have embarrased your Government with that little scandal Sir''

''No problem my dear, it happens once in a while, just make sure you prevent such things from getting to those yeye media boys next time
especially that Sahara or what do they call them''.

''Yes, Sahara Reporters. I will Sir.

''In the meantime, go and book your ticket to Isreal now now, that will reduce the noise and when people see you wailing and rolling on the ground of the Holy Land, you know Nigerians for who they are now, they will easily forgive you your sins.''

Thanks for pardoning me Sir''

'' pardon for what?..you have not sinned now, it is the hands that sinned that will be cut off, and as far as I am concerned, you only took your bite of the Cake. In the coming days, i will announce the setting up of a committee to probe the issue, but we will write the report here..you know what that means?.

''Yes, I do Sir. Thank You Sir. I am grateful''

'' you are welcome. In the meantime, get people to begin to give you massive vote of confidence about your reforms in the Aviation sector, let them begin to put the fine pictures of the Muritala Muhammed, Nnamdi Azikwe Airport runways and the lush green gardens there in the newspapers.''

''Okay Sir''

''Also, get your kinsmen to support you and paint it like it is because you are from my tribe, that is why people are calling for your sack in other to embarass me.. You get me?''

''Yes sir. Thank You Sir.''

''Abati, please put me through to baba Ota, let me brief him on the latest development''


(c) Abiola Solanke
28/10/2013
Follow me on Twitter @abinistyy.

abinistyy: JONA, SISI STELLA nko?

‘’Hello Jona, hello..this network is bad now, what is Adenuga doing gan sef....Ehn ehn Jona, shey you can hear me clearer now?’’

‘’yes baba, the network is clearer now, Good morning Baba..This one that you are calling me this early morning, hope there is no problem in Ota?. Hope the chickens are eating well? And I hope Bola is cooking sumptuous meals for you?

‘’you talk too much jare, u have not even allowed me to talk the talk that i called you for. what is even your wahala sef?.

''Sorry baba,but i was just greeting you''

''Okay, how is mama Patience''

''she is fine baba''

''Sisi Stella nko?''

''she is fine baba, what is it about her?''

'' See, if there is no reason, they will not call a woman kumolu oo?

‘’baba, you know I cant understand that one you just said kunmulu or what?. What is the meaning baba?

‘’leave that one. See, How do we want to do this our daughters case that people are beginning to make noise about?

‘’which of your daughters baba?’’

‘’hmmmmmmm, you see, a child cannot know how to eat eko without staining her hands and you know an Elder can not be in the oja and the child's head will be bent’’

‘’I don’t understand baba, please don’t talk to me in parables’’?

‘’ haven’t you read the papers today?. Cant you see how bad belle people want to destroy your already bad reputation just because Sisi Stella bought two toys for #225million’’

‘’ Jesus!, baba, I will get back to you, let me order for the papers right away.’’

‘’okay, make sure you call me back oooo’’

‘’alright sir’’

‘’Abati !, Abati !!. Where is this boy for God’s sake?. Only God knows where he has gone to. Abati !’’

‘’ yes sir, sorry, I was busy inside.’’

‘’sorry for yourself. Why haven’t you brought the day’s newspapers for me? People are ridiculing my government and I do not even know of it, why am I paying you then?. If you are not careful, you will take the next available flight to Lagos and join your colleagues that are writing rubbish. Get me today’s newspapers as fast as possible’’

‘’ I will do that right away sir’’

Abati brings the papers for him

‘’ Screams!.. yeeee, Stella has killed me oooo. Haaa, #225 million, I just hope Faggae does not sees this, he will not gree for me at all. But Abati, how do you think your colleagues could have gotten this information? Including the chasis number of the cars?,chai…I fear you people ooo’’

‘’sir, there must have been an inside source. maybe someone who was not settled wanted to punish her by spoiling her image’’

‘Abati, the way you reason at times surprises me. If after more than a Year in this palace, you don’t think outside the box, then I don’t think you are not going to get better. Call me Okupe my friend’’

‘’Ok sir. Doctor, oga npe yin oooo’’

‘’ehn ehn. You don’t mean it. This early morning?. Has Baraje or Liar Mohammed said anything that is more than their mouth? so that I can know how to deal with them?

‘’don’t ask me too many ibeere. By the time you get there, you will know what is wrong’’

‘’oga, I learnt you want to see me, hope no problem Sir’’

‘’ I know that your own reasoning is sharp, that is why I called for you. Have you seen this #225million news that is ridiculing us?.who do you think could be responsible for this?’’

‘’ hmmmm, oga, truly, this must be the enemies of our Transformation agenda at work. They just want to spoil your image before the public. I suspect the opposition at work. It might just be a ploy to further convince ASUU not to agree with our ‘no money’ position. And we need to act fast to prevent further embarrassment.

‘’Please call Gulak for me, he’s sharper than you guys.’’

Gulak comes before him
‘’ Gulak, you are welcome, please how do we handle this Stella”s case that is spoiling my image in the eyes of the public. You know very soon, ASUU,APC and every other yeye anti-corruption group will be calling for her head and I am sure you know that that lady is very very useful for 2015. You know how valuable she was in 2011 and the plans to make her co-ordinate Neighbour to neighbor in 2015. How can we save her head and divert Nigerians attention from her case.?

‘’thank you for always counting on me as your political adviser Sir, let us place a call through to her first so that she can confirm if its true or not’’

‘’ we sabi as e dey go now, do we need any confirmation again ehn Gulak?. Anyway, oya, call her’’

‘’ Hello Stella, its me Gulak, how are you?’’

‘’ I am not fine ooo, see how the papers want to finish me today, did I offend them?, (sobs) why are they after my job after all I did for Oga to win the 2011 elections, they have blown the issue too far now and I don’t just know what to do. if I catch the person that leaked the information, I swear he/she will not see tomorrow.

‘’ Don’t worry Stella, we will find a way out of this mess, what is your schedule for Monday next week?’’

‘’I only have some meetings with some women groups from my village’’

‘’okay, I will get back to you as soon as possible’’

‘’ so what is the way forward Gulak’’

‘’Ermmm, yes sir, you Know Nigerians, they will only shout for some days and then keep quiet. I will suggest that she doesn’t say anything on the matter so that it doesn’t become like the case of ‘act of God’, then I will also suggest that we send her out of the country so that the tension will reduce before she comes back, then we will pre-occupy the media with other issues like the PDP crises, National dialogue, the protests against ASUU wahala and other stuffs like that. Also, let us announce that a committee has been raised to probe the case’’

‘’Good one Gulak, your head is very correct. Please give him chilled wine for his wisdom’’

‘’ Yes Sir, I also have something to add’’

‘’ehn ehn, what do you want to add Okupe?’’

‘’ In addition, let us use the Senate and House of Reps to raise the ASUU wahala, that one will take people’s mind off Stella’s case. Also sir, you remember that in 2010, Fashola bought three bullet-proof toys at 200million each totaling 600million, also, that Ogbeni also bought one for a ridiculous amount like this one, let us remind the people and fly that kite in addition to what Gulak has said’’

‘’ hey, did you just say the amount Stella bought her own is ridiculous?’’

‘’No. Oga, I was just playing with words. i dare not say that’’

‘’Better. Over to you and Abati to handle the media aspect, also, notify the IGP so that anybody that dares protests is arrested for disturbing public order. In the mean time, let me talk to Stella myself’

''Hello Stella, its me Gulak calling back, Oga wants to speak with you''

''yee...does he wants to announce my sack?''

''No ooo, he only wants to talk to you. The next Voice You will hear shall be that of his Excellency''

''Hello Stella, how are you''

'' I am fine Sir, I am sorry to have embarrased your Government with that little scandal Sir''

''No problem my dear, it happens once in a while, just make sure you prevent such things from getting to those yeye media boys next time
especially that Sahara or what do they call them''.

''Yes, Sahara Reporters. I will Sir.

''In the meantime, go and book your ticket to Isreal now now, that will reduce the noise and when people see you wailing and rolling on the ground of the Holy Land, you know Nigerians for who they are now, they will easily forgive you your sins.''

Thanks for pardoning me Sir''

'' pardon for what?..you have not sinned now, it is the hands that sinned that will be cut off, and as far as I am concerned, you only took your bite of the Cake. In the coming days, i will announce the setting up of a committee to probe the issue, but we will write the report here..you know what that means?.

''Yes, I do Sir. Thank You Sir. I am grateful''

'' you are welcome. In the meantime, get people to begin to give you massive vote of confidence about your reforms in the Aviation sector, let them begin to put the fine pictures of the Muritala Muhammed, Nnamdi Azikwe Airport runways and the lush green gardens there in the newspapers.''

''Okay Sir''

''Also, get your kinsmen to support you and paint it like it is because you are from my tribe, that is why people are calling for your sack in other to embarass me.. You get me?''

''Yes sir. Thank You Sir.''

''Abati, please put me through to baba Ota, let me brief him on the latest development''


(c) Abiola Solanke
28/10/2013
Follow me on Twitter @abinistyy.

is dis suppose to be a story?