degurl: From the little I know about Ibo's, they don't entertain inter tribal marriage that much. but who knows, your parents may surprise you by accepting your fiancé. But if they don't, it won't be the end of the world OK.

ATMC: Its not ibo factor rather it is distance...its not easy to give ur daughter that far

greatgod2012:


Is Anambra and Edo that far?

Ab025: Hmmm........I dnt tink u hav a problem at all, bt it seems ur parents want to giv u a little problem

When people are out there lookin for a decent man to marry, u already hav one by ur side. U and ur parent both think somethin is wrong either becos he is nt an igbo or becos his state is far from urs....una funny o. I dnt know what to advice u on this bt what I know is if u leave a good man becos he is nt ur tribe and because his state is far frm urs, 2moro u might meet a man who is igbo and frm anambra who may nt treat u right.....

Ur choice, bt u shud know that wen it comes to family and marriage, things dnt always go d way u want it....can't believ u feel everythin u've always wishd for in ur future hubby must be present b4 u get married#

prissyluv: Edo and Anambra is far sha. But his place and mine is roughly 3hrs 30mins drive.

prissyluv: I am an Anambraian and have always wish to marry from my state. Well,I met a Benin man who love me and have proposed to marry me. He is the best I ever had and am ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
My problem now is my family as I know they will never find my choice of man funny.
Am yet to tell them but what ways/methods do I use in making them accepting him?

ATMC: he should be the one worried about ur family's acceptance of him not you. So he should try to penetrate ur family by being kind to them in ways he can...we all like kind people. And this should be a clue to his feelings about you, the extent he's willing to go to get ur people to like you.

bigdiva: OP, how old are you? If you're old enough, to get married, I'm sure your family,'s acceptance of this great guy you've described won't bother you this much. Maybe you need to wait till you get to. a ripe age for marriage (30-34) . Then even if na monkey you bring, them go just shout yes!
On a more serious note, You need to man up,, and let your family know that you've found happiness with this dude.

yellowpawpaw: At times pple just assume what they r not sure of. That u hv friends or family members who their parents didn't accept the guy in their lifes does not mean igbo pple don't marry outside their tribe. Igbo daughters r everywhere and don't be suprised when u reach there u will meet a handful of them.
There r many reasons parents reject their daughter's choice in marriage and will tell their child its tribe issue so as to peg it somewhere w'out hurting their daughter.
Igbo pple take marriage very serious and they will go very far to ensure their daughter is going to a place she will fit in.
A woman is married by her husband's pple and not only d husband, they take note of that too.
Also, they want a place they can easily have access to their daughter and her children.simply put, its a house affair.

Marriage is more than a man and woman saying I lv u to each other and hooking up.its way too deep and parents want the best for their kids.

Poster, if ur guy and his pple r of no questionable xters and r good, they should convince ur parents tru their actions and why not, u will hv their blessing.
Goodluck to u.

yellowpawpaw: At times pple just assume what they r not sure of. That u hv friends or family members who their parents didn't accept the guy in their lifes does not mean igbo pple don't marry outside their tribe. Igbo daughters r everywhere and don't be suprised when u reach there u will meet a handful of them.
There r many reasons parents reject their daughter's choice in marriage and will tell their child its tribe issue so as to peg it somewhere w'out hurting their daughter.
Igbo pple take marriage very serious and they will go very far to ensure their daughter is going to a place she will fit in.
A woman is married by her husband's pple and not only d husband, they take note of that too.
Also, they want a place they can easily have access to their daughter and her children.simply put, its a house affair.

Marriage is more than a man and woman saying I lv u to each other and hooking up.its way too deep and parents want the best for their kids.

Poster, if ur guy and his pple r of no questionable xters and r good, they should convince ur parents tru their actions and why not, u will hv their blessing.
Goodluck to u.

be careful how you use that word.......and putting it next to "ur family"...well

prissyluv: Still on the matter ooo.
Our plan last year was that by this time this year we must have done our trad but it didnt work as planned due to some constraints.

Months have passed and I have not told my parents yet. My brothers are aware sha.

He wanted to come on April to know my place and also see my people and familiarize with them but that was cancelled because of our house renovation.

We shifted it to 1st or 2nd week of Sept. Few days to his coming,I suggested that since we are no more doing anything this year that it is better we leave the familarization and telling my people about him till when he will be ready. I wont like my parents to start raising issues now. Better the issues are raised close to the marriage

With the trends of things now,it will only take the Grace of God for my parents to accept this man.

ATMC: yes na...far apart in every way

Yields:

Tell them now. You don't want them to raise issues now but you think the perfect time for them to do so is when the marriage is nearby? You're not getting married to yourself. Your fiance's in the picture too. If you don't care about having a peaceful wedding, at least think of him. Almost a year has gone by. You've had opportunities to tell your parents/introduce him to them, but you're still making excuses. Your brothers know, but you only mention your parents being against it, so at least you have your brothers on your side. I reckon you're worried about what your parents would think of you, as you yourself have expressed your disapproval of marrying outside your state and you're about to do it. Just swallow your pride, let them know that you were wrong and explain why. They will not understand it in a day, but it's a starting point. If anyone's in the best position to soften your parents' mentality, it's you. Just being "strong and prayerful" won't solve anything if you're just sitting back and not being proactive in helping the situation at all.

thorpido: Whao poster,this issue has been close to a year and not only are you not married,you haven't even introduced yet.What are you waiting for?You said you want to do it close to the wedding?Won't they be the one to approve the time of the wedding?Are you trying to get preggy?

I think you should do the introduction now.Maybe you should look for an elderly person in your family you can take into confidence and hint the person.Try and prepare the ground.
Why is your guy too holding back?He should man up and go and see your parents.

Keep praying.If it is the will of God,he will soften your parents' hearts.

prissyluv:
My dear,it is not as if I want to get pregnant or that my guy does not want to man up. He has made efforts to come but I am the one postponing the whole thing.

Ok,he told me that he will help to carry my properties home and use the opportunity to see my people just for me to inform him few days back that he should not worry again that I have sought an alternative.
My guy wants to see my parents as I have seen his. His parents accepted me and his mum even want me to spend some time with her.

thorpido: Just do the needful.The earlier the better so you don't turn out to be the one that loses out.