Stats: 3,183,686 members, 7,921,467 topics. Date: Thursday, 15 August 2024 at 06:04 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pre-marriage Tussle (2228 Views)
Need Assistance On Some Pre - Marriage Issues / Pre-marriage Counselling / A Common Question Usually Asked During Pre-marriage Counseling (2) (3) (4)
Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 8:06pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Kanwulia: 8:10pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
GET PREGNANT ASAP!!!! ![]() |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by degurl(f): 8:14pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
From the little I know about Ibo's, they don't entertain inter tribal marriage that much. but who knows, your parents may surprise you by accepting your fiancé. But if they don't, it won't be the end of the world OK. 1 Like |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by ATMC(f): 8:26pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
he should be the one worried about ur family's acceptance of him not you. So he should try to penetrate ur family by being kind to them in ways he can...we all like kind people. And this should be a clue to his feelings about you, the extent he's willing to go to get ur people to like you. 1 Like |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by ATMC(f): 8:29pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
degurl: From the little I know about Ibo's, they don't entertain inter tribal marriage that much. but who knows, your parents may surprise you by accepting your fiancé. But if they don't, it won't be the end of the world OK.Its not ibo factor rather it is distance...its not easy to give ur daughter that far |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by greatgod2012(f): 8:38pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
ATMC: Its not ibo factor rather it is distance...its not easy to give ur daughter that far Is Anambra and Edo that far? |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by ATMC(f): 8:41pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
greatgod2012:yes na...far apart in every way ![]() |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by greatgod2012(f): 8:48pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
@op, if your marriage is predestined, it will surely come to pass. Stop worrying yourself, stop being too anxious, what you think is a problem now may be warmly welcomed by your folks, all you need to do is to ensure that you aint attached to him for wrong reasons, if it's right and approved by God, God Himself is the one that will tourch your parent's heart and leave you to do what will make you happy. However, ensure you don't marry the may if your people are aggressively and totally against it, most times, our parent's voice are usually the voice of God, so, never marry a man they do not consent to, wait until they consent to it, prayerfully before you go ahead with marriage plans. Pray fervently and be convinced that He is God's chosen for you, the waiting, you wil see that it worth it at the end of the day.May God help you. 6 Likes |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Ab025(m): 9:20pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
Hmmm........I dnt tink u hav a problem at all, bt it seems ur parents want to giv u a little problem When people are out there lookin for a decent man to marry, u already hav one by ur side. U and ur parent both think somethin is wrong either becos he is nt an igbo or becos his state is far from urs....una funny o. I dnt know what to advice u on this bt what I know is if u leave a good man becos he is nt ur tribe and because his state is far frm urs, 2moro u might meet a man who is igbo and frm anambra who may nt treat u right..... Ur choice, bt u shud know that wen it comes to family and marriage, things dnt always go d way u want it....can't believ u feel everythin u've always wishd for in ur future hubby must be present b4 u get married# |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:34pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
[quote author=Kanwulia]GET PREGNANT ASAP!!!! ![]() It is not the best dear. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:38pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
[quote author=degurl]From the little I know about Ibo's, they don't entertain inter tribal marriage that much. but who knows, your parents may surprise you by accepting your fiancé. But if they don't, it won't be the end of the world OK. My prayer is just for them to accept him. I know it wont be the end of the world,but I am use to him and dont tik I can master anyother man again. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:42pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
[color=#990000][/color][b][/b][quote author=greatgod2012]@op, if your marriage is predestined, it will surely come to pass. Stop worrying yourself, stop being too anxious, what you think is a problem now may be warmly welcomed by your folks, all you need to do is to ensure that you aint attached to him for wrong reasons, if it's right and approved by God, God Himself is the one that will tourch your parent's heart and leave you to do what will make you happy. However, ensure you don't marry the may if your people are aggressively and totally against it, most times, our parent's voice are usually the voice of God, so, never marry a man they do not consent to, wait until they consent to it, prayerfully before you go ahead with marriage plans. Pray fervently and be convinced that He is God's chosen for you, the waiting, you wil see that it worth it at the end of the day.May God help you. Thanks dear. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:46pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
Ab025: Hmmm........I dnt tink u hav a problem at all, bt it seems ur parents want to giv u a little problem Dont get ur last paragraph. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:49pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
Edo and Anambra is far sha. But his place and mine is roughly 3hrs 30mins drive. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Nobody: 4:37pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
OP, how old are you? If you're old enough, to get married, I'm sure your family,'s acceptance of this great guy you've described won't bother you this much. Maybe you need to wait till you get to. a ripe age for marriage (30-34) . Then even if na monkey you bring, them go just shout yes! ![]() On a more serious note, You need to man up,, and let your family know that you've found happiness with this dude. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Jbravo58(m): 7:45pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
This Igbo tin don tire me jare, if say the man is now from sumwhre like Maiduguri ko? wetin they won do? they go dey tel una make u always reject other tribes, why nt tell them to make PERFECT men for their children in their tribe. mtcheeew |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by dayokanu(m): 7:52pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
prissyluv: Edo and Anambra is far sha. But his place and mine is roughly 3hrs 30mins drive. But assuming say na Mike Adenuga pikin that his place is like 8hours away or Dangote pikin that his place is like 15hours away Or even Oyinbo that his place is 500hours away what would they say |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Nobody: 5:48am On Nov 01, 2013 |
At times pple just assume what they r not sure of. That u hv friends or family members who their parents didn't accept the guy in their lifes does not mean igbo pple don't marry outside their tribe. Igbo daughters r everywhere and don't be suprised when u reach there u will meet a handful of them. There r many reasons parents reject their daughter's choice in marriage and will tell their child its tribe issue so as to peg it somewhere w'out hurting their daughter. Igbo pple take marriage very serious and they will go very far to ensure their daughter is going to a place she will fit in. A woman is married by her husband's pple and not only d husband, they take note of that too. Also, they want a place they can easily have access to their daughter and her children.simply put, its a house affair. Marriage is more than a man and woman saying I lv u to each other and hooking up.its way too deep and parents want the best for their kids. Poster, if ur guy and his pple r of no questionable xters and r good, they should convince ur parents tru their actions and why not, u will hv their blessing. Goodluck to u. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Nobody: 7:25am On Nov 01, 2013 |
prissyluv: I am an Anambraian and have always wish to marry from my state. Well,I met a Benin man who love me and have proposed to marry me. He is the best I ever had and am ready to spend the rest of my life with him. I wonder if your parents are the one marrying him or yourself. ![]() Oya, make dem organise man give you na since you didn't find any from anambra. Then you go hear whin. You are an adult and should be able to live with your decision. If ou think the guy is worth it, then I'm sorry , you have to impose him to your family. Your life. Your choice 1 Like |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Nobody: 10:23am On Nov 01, 2013 |
ATMC: he should be the one worried about ur family's acceptance of him not you. So he should try to penetrate ur family by being kind to them in ways he can...we all like kind people. And this should be a clue to his feelings about you, the extent he's willing to go to get ur people to like you. be careful how you use that word.......and putting it next to "ur family"...well ![]() actually instead of penetrating her family I think he should just no more rejecting family shakara don end |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 9:33pm On Nov 01, 2013 |
bigdiva: OP, how old are you? If you're old enough, to get married, I'm sure your family,'s acceptance of this great guy you've described won't bother you this much. Maybe you need to wait till you get to. a ripe age for marriage (30-34) . Then even if na monkey you bring, them go just shout yes! Am matured to get married. I ve really found hapiness in him and will try to convince them strongly. Thanks anyway. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 9:53pm On Nov 01, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: At times pple just assume what they r not sure of. That u hv friends or family members who their parents didn't accept the guy in their lifes does not mean igbo pple don't marry outside their tribe. Igbo daughters r everywhere and don't be suprised when u reach there u will meet a handful of them. I understand ur point,but I also know wot my people are capable of. Most of my family members have this mentality that once u are married outside Anambra dt u are off d trail. I was among those that do frown wen I hear that marry to far places,now it will happen to me,hw do I convince them? Even within Anambra,there are towns they will still object to in giving me out in marriage talk more of Benin. I think I just need to be strong and prayerful. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 9:56pm On Nov 01, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: At times pple just assume what they r not sure of. That u hv friends or family members who their parents didn't accept the guy in their lifes does not mean igbo pple don't marry outside their tribe. Igbo daughters r everywhere and don't be suprised when u reach there u will meet a handful of them. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 11:58pm On Sep 27, 2014 |
Still on the matter ooo. Our plan last year was that by this time this year we must have done our trad but it didnt work as planned due to some constraints. Months have passed and I have not told my parents yet. My brothers are aware sha. He wanted to come on April to know my place and also see my people and familiarize with them but that was cancelled because of our house renovation. We shifted it to 1st or 2nd week of Sept. Few days to his coming,I suggested that since we are no more doing anything this year that it is better we leave the familarization and telling my people about him till when he will be ready. I wont like my parents to start raising issues now. Better the issues are raised close to the marriage With the trends of things now,it will only take the Grace of God for my parents to accept this man. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by tpia6: 12:09am On Sep 28, 2014 |
hmmm |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Nobody: 6:22pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
prissyluv: Still on the matter ooo. Tell them now. You don't want them to raise issues now but you think the perfect time for them to do so is when the marriage is nearby? You're not getting married to yourself. Your fiance's in the picture too. If you don't care about having a peaceful wedding, at least think of him. Almost a year has gone by. You've had opportunities to tell your parents/introduce him to them, but you're still making excuses. Your brothers know, but you only mention your parents being against it, so at least you have your brothers on your side. I reckon you're worried about what your parents would think of you, as you yourself have expressed your disapproval of marrying outside your state and you're about to do it. Just swallow your pride, let them know that you were wrong and explain why. They will not understand it in a day, but it's a starting point. If anyone's in the best position to soften your parents' mentality, it's you. Just being "strong and prayerful" won't solve anything if you're just sitting back and not being proactive in helping the situation at all. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by thorpido(m): 7:09pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
Whao poster,this issue has been close to a year and not only are you not married,you haven't even introduced yet.What are you waiting for?You said you want to do it close to the wedding?Won't they be the one to approve the time of the wedding?Are you trying to get preggy? I think you should do the introduction now.Maybe you should look for an elderly person in your family you can take into confidence and hint the person.Try and prepare the ground. Why is your guy too holding back?He should man up and go and see your parents. Keep praying.If it is the will of God,he will soften your parents' hearts. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by Tantidora(f): 9:37pm On Sep 28, 2014 |
ATMC: yes na...far apart in every way wh@ abt Ashanti in Ghana and Ibo in Nigeria, th@ should b term "far" |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 8:03am On Sep 29, 2014 |
Yields:You spoke so well dear. Thanks. The thing is I thought that telling my parents now when the marriage will take place like May/June will be a long period for them to taunt me,disapprove and call me unserious. I have once asked my dad what he thinks of inter-tribal marriage. He told me he does not have a good thought about it and added that proximity in marriage is very important. As for my brothers they know about him but one or two are not fully in support but their own is not my problem but my parents. I once told my mum that I am going to marry a calabar man and she bruntly told me that I am on my own. All these grips fear in me. 1 Like |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 8:25am On Sep 29, 2014 |
thorpido: Whao poster,this issue has been close to a year and not only are you not married,you haven't even introduced yet.What are you waiting for?You said you want to do it close to the wedding?Won't they be the one to approve the time of the wedding?Are you trying to get preggy?My dear,it is not as if I want to get pregnant or that my guy does not want to man up. He has made efforts to come but I am the one postponing the whole thing. Ok,he told me that he will help to carry my properties home and use the opportunity to see my people just for me to inform him few days back that he should not worry again that I have sought an alternative. My guy wants to see my parents as I have seen his. His parents accepted me and his mum even want me to spend some time with her. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by thorpido(m): 8:48am On Sep 29, 2014 |
prissyluv:Just do the needful.The earlier the better so you don't turn out to be the one that loses out. |
Re: Pre-marriage Tussle by prissyluv(f): 9:01am On Sep 29, 2014 |
thorpido: Just do the needful.The earlier the better so you don't turn out to be the one that loses out.Thanks dear. |
(1) (Reply)
African Parents And Sex Education; How Was Puberty Like For You? / Should i use Cele church for this problem am facing at the company i work. / Does Sex As A Couple During 'fasting And Prayer' Invalidate The Prayer?
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 72 |