RockMaxi: just passing...............

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talk2davoo: part of d curse dat d woman received after d serpent deceived her is dat she'll be under d man.d man also received his own share of d curse as a result of his dissobedience.now answer,what are the vanguards of gender equality trying to achieve? A reversal of d curse placed on woman by God? Be careful,gender equality is evil.although wasnt so from begining but after d fall of Adam and Eve.@her dream,i will say dat if things are done in order of their priority, husband also ranks first among every dream and aspiration that a woman may have including her dream of becoming world president

damosky12: Any dream that does not accomodate the maintainance of you marriage is'nt a dream but a stranger..

talk2davoo: part of d curse dat d woman received after d serpent deceived her is dat she'll be under d man.d man also received his own share of d curse as a result of his dissobedience.now answer,what are the vanguards of gender equality trying to achieve? A reversal of d curse placed on woman by God? Be careful,gender equality is evil.although wasnt so from begining but after d fall of Adam and Eve.@her dream,i will say dat if things are done in order of their priority, husband also ranks first among every dream and aspiration that a woman may have including her dream of becoming world president

talk2davoo: part of d curse dat d woman received after d serpent deceived her is dat she'll be under d man.d man also received his own share of d curse as a result of his dissobedience.now answer,what are the vanguards of gender equality trying to achieve? A reversal of d curse placed on woman by God? Be careful,gender equality is evil.although wasnt so from begining but after d fall of Adam and Eve.@her dream,i will say dat if things are done in order of their priority, husband also ranks first among every dream and aspiration that a woman may have including her dream of becoming world president

Fhemmmy:

I am not sure i agree with this . . everyone has a dream before they become a wife or a husband, i might agree if you say find a way to fine-tune the dream to accommodate the other half

Nashville:

One problem I have with us Nigerians is that we never blame ourselves. We blame God, society, etc but never look inwards. You write as if Nigerian women have no brains and cannot take decisions for herself and just forced into slavery called marriage. Please, if you are in slavery, it is first and foremost your fault. You are responsible for your decisions and you have to blame yourself. My own sister is a gynaecologist and she plans to start her own IVF clinic soon, my wife is a practicing lawyer living her life to the full. If you are not living your dreams, please look into the mirror and you will find where the fault is. Lets stop blaming society etc, women have a choice, they have brains, they go to school like the boys and apply for jobs like the guys, so there is no reason why women should not achieve their dreams unless of cause they have none.

Now you raise the issue of a man having several houses and was upset his wife had only one. Very unfair of you as those of us that read the thread know that he was angry because his wife built a house without his knowledge. That is wrong 100 times over and everytime. I would not build a house without telling my wife neither would I expect that from my wife. It just makes no sense at all everytime one reads it.

Lastly, I believe our women have a long way to go in helping themselves. While I have lots of female friends who are doing very well in their chosen professions and achieving their dreams, alot of Nigerian women would rather marry a "rich guy" as a means of achieving wealth and possibly fame and their dreams. Unfortunately, they soon find out that not all that glitters is gold. Rather than work hard and see themselves as positive contibutors, they take the short cut and try to use a man to meet their needs. Our orientation needs to change, both men and women.

Efemena_xy: @ Poster source pls.

That aside, I agree with the content of this article. Many women, especially Nigerian women are prone to thinking that way. It's actually engrained in them to such a point where they see being submissive = being subordinate, which I daresay, is at odds with their education.

I mean, why bother educating your daughters if she'll end up being nothing better than a glorified househelp in her own home, both physically and emotionally? Yes, I know many ladies who went through tertiary education have put their education to good use - but how many of these same women have done things for themselves? I mean personal goals they've always wanted to achieve pre-marriage? Or achieving their dreams?

There's a rankling thread in this section about a man who:

~ Earned eight times more than his wife
~ Owned various property and assets, etc.

It was all about him, him, him and no mention of what his wife probably went through those 10 years of marriage without a dime to her name. Eventually the tables turned and she landed herself a well-paying job and built just one house for herself and guess what? The miffed husband sprinted off to nland soliciting 'advice' on how much he felt betrayed by his wife! Of course the teenagers and other mumpties here encouraged him to ditch her (never mind her silent suffering for 10years), she must have been having an affair with her priest (she never saw fit to do that before o! Only when she got working now, abi?)

https://www.nairaland.com/1496529/priest-aids-wife-build-without

What am I getting at here? In a society where marriage is seen as the greatest milestone and achievement in one's life (moreso if you're a female), you aren't expected to do anything for yourself, think independently for yourself or dare have dreams and aspirations, all in the name of two-becoming-one, which incidentally, always works out well for the menfolk.

If anyone dares rebutt what I've written up there, then:

For the men folk - how many of your properties are in both your names and your wife's name? Is her name on the title deed of your houses??

For the married women folk - how many of you, despite your education and careers have built a house - just one single house - in your own right? And even if you have, in whose name is it in? Yours or your husband's?

And for the married women who despite their careers and education haven't yet done that, may I ask how come? And pls don't come at me with the same old story of having to look after the kids (who afterall, don't bear your maiden names! but your husbands' names!)

damosky12:
my brother, when you get married, you no longer live or take dicisions for yourself. You are now a two in one, so, anything that would break your marriage should be shelved. Thats why its good to marry a man who accomodates you r vision and dream, most importantly; asking God to guide you meet the right one. That is because, once you are married, your dream must be approved by your spouce before it becomes a dream.

Should A Woman Sacrifice Her Dreams For Her Marriage?

Nashville:

One problem I have with us Nigerians is that we never blame ourselves. We blame God, society, etc but never look inwards. You write as if Nigerian women have no brains and cannot take decisions for herself and just forced into slavery called marriage. Please, if you are in slavery, it is first and foremost your fault. You are responsible for your decisions and you have to blame yourself. My own sister is a gynaecologist and she plans to start her own IVF clinic soon, my wife is a practicing lawyer living her life to the full. If you are not living your dreams, please look into the mirror and you will find where the fault is. Lets stop blaming society etc, women have a choice, they have brains, they go to school like the boys and apply for jobs like the guys, so there is no reason why women should not achieve their dreams unless of cause they have none.

Now you raise the issue of a man having several houses and was upset his wife had only one. Very unfair of you as those of us that read the thread know that he was angry because his wife built a house without his knowledge. That is wrong 100 times over and everytime. I would not build a house without telling my wife neither would I expect that from my wife. It just makes no sense at all everytime one reads it.

Lastly, I believe our women have a long way to go in helping themselves. While I have lots of female friends who are doing very well in their chosen professions and achieving their dreams, alot of Nigerian women would rather marry a "rich guy" as a means of achieving wealth and possibly fame and their dreams. Unfortunately, they soon find out that not all that glitters is gold. Rather than work hard and see themselves as positive contibutors, they take the short cut and try to use a man to meet their needs. Our orientation needs to change, both men and women.

Efemena_xy: @
If anyone dares rebutt what I've written up there, then:

For the men folk - how many of your properties are in both your names and your wife's name? Is her name on the title deed of your houses??

For the married women folk - how many of you, despite your education and careers have built a house - just one single house - in your own right? And even if you have, in whose name is it in? Yours or your husband's?

And for the married women who despite their careers and education haven't yet done that, may I ask how come? And pls don't come at me with the same old story of having to look after the kids (who afterall, don't bear your maiden names! but your husbands' names!)

Okija_juju:

Madam Efe

How far na! SO you don turn Womens right activist abi?! Better pound that yam finish before I reach house or else..



@ Post:

Madam, I grew up with the mentality of whats mine is hers and whats hers is mine. Equality all round.

However.. In a union, its always right to define roles lest everyone runs around chasing their dreams at the expense of the greater good of the family. I'm sure our forefathers forsaw this thats why they created roles for each party in the relationship bearing in mind who the stronger party was and giving that party the hardest role and making the weaker party have lesser but equally crucial responsibilities.

You asked how many of us have proerties in our wifes names? ANSWER: I do. My father also does. Infact, any car in my house that carries only one persons name on it was a gift from the other partner to that person. The lands and houses all read Mr. & Mrs. The ones that dont carry Mr. & Mrs. bear the company name of which they are both the principal share holders & directors in the company.

YOU WOMEN ARE SELFISH

Look at the way the OP's post put it like the women are slaves.

When a man works and toils hard at work everyday, what is his ultimate purpose?! TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY (which includes the wife).

Look at what you women are here advocating. Chasing your dreams. To benefit whom?! Yourselves! So that you can make money and be equal to your husbands financially abi?

Or do you think it is a Mans dream to have a woman spend up all his hardwork?! No! But he does it as his responsiblity and sacrifice to his family. Look at me for example. I make enough money to lounge and ball like I want. But hey! I am forkig over my earning every month to my wife who already makes money just because that is what is expected of me.


You women should please ease off this gender eqaulity crap & slavery nonesense.. We are both slaves to each other in the relationship.

jennykadry: I believe everybody should own an investment in their name. I am not giving up my career or business to sit back at home and do nothing. I just wish women would sit up and stop relying on men for everything. If you can afford a new car and hubby is cool with it, get one for yourself with your money, it's mustn't come from his pocket. You can start a business with your money if you can afford it without asking hubby. Women have become so dependent on men that it is not funny anymore.

As for the woman who built a house without hubby knowing(never saw the thread), the one questions I would ask her is....."is he an abuser?" And if the answer is NO, then she is a very terrible woman

dudet: The truth is as a woman person, you have a right to determine what your priorities are; would you be happier if your husband spouse/family is happier? If that means making some sacrifices along the way, then that's fine. You can't always have what you want all of the time

Efemena_xy: @ Poster source pls.

That aside, I agree with the content of this article. Many women, especially Nigerian women are prone to thinking that way. It's actually engrained in them to such a point where they see being submissive = being subordinate, which I daresay, is at odds with their education.

I mean, why bother educating your daughters if she'll end up being nothing better than a glorified househelp in her own home, both physically and emotionally? Yes, I know many ladies who went through tertiary education have put their education to good use - but how many of these same women have done things for themselves? I mean personal goals they've always wanted to achieve pre-marriage? Or achieving their dreams?

There's a rankling thread in this section about a man who:

~ Earned eight times more than his wife
~ Owned various property and assets, etc.

It was all about him, him, him and no mention of what his wife probably went through those 10 years of marriage without a dime to her name. Eventually the tables turned and she landed herself a well-paying job and built just one house for herself and guess what? The miffed husband sprinted off to nland soliciting 'advice' on how much he felt betrayed by his wife! Of course the teenagers and other mumpties here encouraged him to ditch her (never mind her silent suffering for 10years), she must have been having an affair with her priest (she never saw fit to do that before o! Only when she got working now, abi?)

https://www.nairaland.com/1496529/priest-aids-wife-build-without

What am I getting at here? In a society where marriage is seen as the greatest milestone and achievement in one's life (moreso if you're a female), you aren't expected to do anything for yourself, think independently for yourself or dare have dreams and aspirations, all in the name of two-becoming-one, which incidentally, always works out well for the menfolk.

If anyone dares rebutt what I've written up there, then:

For the men folk - how many of your properties are in both your names and your wife's name? Is her name on the title deed of your houses??

For the married women folk - how many of you, despite your education and careers have built a house - just one single house - in your own right? And even if you have, in whose name is it in? Yours or your husband's?

And for the married women who despite their careers and education haven't yet done that, may I ask how come? And pls don't come at me with the same old story of having to look after the kids (who afterall, don't bear your maiden names! but your husbands' names!)