oooooooooooohhhhh my darlings are back!

Hmm. . .veterans Sisi,Vesc,Ari and Blue gang up 2 bully NKOTB Lightwalk.The odds seem 2 be against him,but we never know what could happen,the world loves an underdog.

rave, i assure you no one's ganging up against no one. When u put it that way, it gives value or importance to the 'underdog', in this case, there is no underdog to begin with.

on lighter notes, who cares for a smoothie?

There goes our underdog. He's now underdogshake. I'll pass. Ask Sisi.

_{Una dey try 4 diz thread wit diz talk talk wey una dey talk.} i bow 4 una.

Gang up? Bully? Underdog?? Jeez, Rave if you wanted us to go easy on the kid, all you had to do was say so. Didn't have to go all dramatic on us. Now all i wanna do is cuddle his cute li'l furry underdog behind. What kinda feeling is that to have on a rant thread, eh?


Vesc
I'm gonna pass on the shake Vesc, i prefer mine without the tears. . . Pity tears I mean.


Blue
Blue, of course we are back! We were only on hiatus not permanently off air.

dang it! no one wants a shake
aiite, sisi can i count on you to provide me with the ingredients?
seeing as we'll be having that lobotomy very soon. . . .

morning ranters

Rants indeed

<b>Perfect Mad Men and Women!!!</b>

light head oops light walk

we are perfect in our madness

learned in our direction

you are confused in a trance and virtually clueless

as to what to do yet you are still mad, for you are on this page too

better come and drink from the fountains of exposure

glean from the minds that habour wisdom

borrow from the rage that binds us all


if not

a perfectly good meal you will become

for ravenous or not

we dont suffer the clueless in silence

lightwalk:

Rants indeed

<b>Perfect Mad Men and Women!!!</b>

bluespice:

dang it! no one wants a shake
aiite, sisi can i count on you to provide me with the ingredients?
seeing as we'll be having that lobotomy very soon. . . .

Oh don't worry. . . I'll provide the ingredients and much more. Trust

lightwalk:

Rants indeed

<b>Perfect Mad Men and Women!!!</b>

hi blaze
hi blu
hi V
Sino, Epi, Raven, Ade, waddup fellas.

kay9 signing in.

Sisi_Kill:


Where's my boss? Where is the one who owns me heart, body and soul? 

Sisi, Sisi, Sisi. . . .     Hi gurl, nice ta have ya back. Break a leg! 


Lightwalk, hi dude. See, i aint gonna call you kid or patronize you or anything; just chill out. We's really free here - all you gotta do is give us a REAL, heart-felt rant - that's all it takes to be a Rantster. Just keep 2 things in mind:

1. Nobody sucks up to nobody here, but that don't change the fact that this here sand-box has a name on it: Ariblaze.

2. Umm, this is really a favour i'm asking, alright? Don't Bleep wiv V; i kinda take it personal when people do that. 

This is really unfair now what is left i got that perfect below belt punch, now i cant use it no more. hullo there lightwalk come on i know you've got some shitty rant up ya sleeves hun?
hi blaze
hi v
hi bluespice
hi sisi_kill
hi epi
hi kay
hi rave
hi , sheesh
@blue kwazy man hope da spleen is included heard its kinda nutritious all da essential vitamins and minerals, remember to serve chilled
@blaze you? rusty? me tot you've been electroplated by raw iron and left out in the rain for few days of ya absentia you just cant get rusty man you are da blazeman(thunder & lightning)
@sisi hmmm kinda high tech implantation of some advanced alien technology in da human form, smuggled through the bermudian triangle several light years ago. its an honor to meet you sisi_kill

Ok yap were me rant now

Have got shaky hands yeah its shaking cos you staring at it shit!

10:25 pm
Bone tired from a long ass day, no one's online aint had none all day and this stupid metabolism bitch is acting up again.
Aiite ill go cook, and see what happens. . .

11:30 pm
i'm tired man! i can't believe i've been standing, slaving for over an hour. . .
bleh, im going to blog

The next evening

6:30 pm
oh fuckin hell! its almost 7 i need to leave this room and possibly go eat. Oh yeah i did cook last night perfect, now maybe i'll enjoy the meal.

7:00 pm
*enter the kitchen, open the fridge, take food out n open food bowls*
oh helllzzzzzzz naw! some dumb mess done stolen my food!
what the Bleep?!
*proceedes to write letter to dumb mess*

@ whoever was so hungry as to steal cooked food,
Dear hungry bitch,
If you wanted some, you coulda asked.
PS: I spat in the food. It wasn't intentional but im glad you had it.
how did it taste?

sino!,
how's u son?
fo shaw man, spleen and all o dem good thangs are ingredients.
i just need a fertile field to harvest from and since we having a lobotomy, i got a purrfect field.

@ whoever was so hungry as to steal cooked food,
Dear hungry bitch,
If you wanted some, you coulda asked.
PS: I spat in the food. It wasn't intentional but im glad you had it.
how did it taste?

lol

if i were you

after raising hell

i would cook another meal

and slip something into it. .

simple effective

no one would steal from the fridge again

@blue im good, at least i aint going through da lobotomy lol. Yeah dont sieve afta blending, it makes da thingy whole.Guyz dis is highly nutritional, a glass cup a day keeps d doctors away.
@blaze what are u suggesting? A laxative? Excess of it would work wonders lol

@blue im good, at least i aint going through da lobotomy lol. Yeah dont sieve afta blending, it makes da thingy whole.Guyz dis is highly nutritional, a glass cup a day keeps d doctors away.
@blaze what are u suggesting? A laxative? Excess of it would work wonders lol

laxa. . . . .what

why would i want that?

good ol' ota pia pia

used for killing rats

would do nicely

Oooh ota pia pia lol i tot it was used in killing those sophisticatd likkle creatures specializd in siphoning blood and passing d dreadful plasmodium parasite 4rm 1 individual to da other. Now ogun ekute should do just fine.

Woke up this morning, got myself a gun.

Now that is one wish I’d give anything to be true.

Why can’t I walk out the front the door and buy myself a gun?

If I had a gun I would do the world a great service.

I’d be the Kevorkian of Population & Traffic control, I tell you I would and I would do this for free too.

There are just certain people who don’t deserve to live

And there are those who can only be rehabilitated by staring at the pointy end of a gun.

The nasty bus drivers who yell at me because I am not suicidal enough to drive fast on bad roads.

People with smoke houses for cars. . . I propose that any car which hasn’t seen the insides of an emission test center be junked with immediate effect.

Impatient drivers who purposely drive on the other side of the road thereby causing incoming traffic. Hello stupid. . .the rest of us also got places to go to. We aren’t driving around just for the fun it, ya know. A-hole.

The alright sir boys in yellow whose job is to chase after buses like rabid dogs. I mean really, how useful is your life if that’s what you wake up for??

Those SOBs who turn on their sirens in a bumper to bumper, cars practically on top of each other, traffic. Why for goodness sakes why??!!

The Okada riders. . . 

The police. . .ye gods, the police. Where do I start. . . is it how they stand on street corners asking for change like beggers or maybe it’s how they stand in the middle of the road asking for change like begger. . . I know, I’ll start from the part where they practically jump on your car because they are asking for change like beggers.

Gawd! I wish I had a gun!!!!!!

kay9:



Sisi, Sisi, Sisi. . . .       Hi gurl, nice ta have ya back. Break a leg! 

Whose leg. . . can I pick 'em? Please, please lemme pick 'em!!

2. Umm, this is really a favour i'm asking, alright? Don't Bleep wiv V; i kinda take it personal when people do that. 

I do too! I do! I reaaaaally do and I ain't asking no favors!!

sino:


@sisi hmmm[b] kinda high tech implantation of some advanced alien technology in da human form, smuggled through the bermudian triangle several light years ago[/b]. its an honor to meet you sisi_kill

With the ability to spin words like these. . . gotta say I am the honored one.

Nice to meetcha cap'n

After reading my twin's rants I'm adding HUNGRY BITCHES WHO EAT OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD to the list of those who gats to go.

lol. . . methinks

someone doesnt have what it takes to drive in lagos

may i recommend my village to you?

roads are easy,

bet you wont find another car sharing the same lane with ya

as a matter of fact you might not even see any other car at that

with the emission thingy, no qualms

cept you want firewood to also undergo the test. . . .LWKMD


well since its in the spirit of gats to go

i am willing to take any reason

btw:kill, are you sure you can handle the recoil action of your hammer once it hits the firing pin?

shoulders have being known to give way for things like that

yeah! twinie
hungry bitches need a warm stiletto through their skulls

Hey twin. . .the day of the lobotomy is drawing close. Real Close!!

Blaze, I ain't got time for you right now, I got scores to settle.

However before I got settle 'em, I have this to say. . .I can too drive in Lagos

what the flippin mess!?!
don't tell me his their royal assness axed yet another!

Of course he did. Why. . .you wonder? Oh don’t worry, I’ll tell you.

It all started when I innocently came online, saw a topic on the homepage and decided, like the good forumite I am, to respond.

The topic – Nairaland vs. Facebook which one is better. . . or something equally asinine. I mean why on earth would anyone wanna compare the two? That’s like comparing top of the cart apples with bottom of the barrel. . .aaah, you know what, I digress. Anyway, it was my response. . . this was what got me axed.

Innocent me responded thusly. . .

I’ll respond only if I can be promised immunity from BANdom, until then. . . I plead the fifth.

Ironically, on Facebook you don’t have to worry about BANNING just because you don’t agree with Mark.

Just sayin’

That’s it!!

You were expecting more right. . .like maybe I cursed and swore at someone’s uwa? Nope, THAT was what got me banned!!

I am not mad. . .nope, I am FURIOUS!! 

Nah! I ain’t furious or mad or angry. . . I’m just tickled silly! It’s so freaking hilarious how thin skinned some people are. Hehehehehehehe.

The only bad thing about this is I’m running out of names. You can only combine the words Sisi/Jinx/Kill/Baby so many times. 

Oh I know, what about Jinxed Sisi. . .kinda fitting, no?

By the way, the comment was YANKED but I wrote another one. . . I think he liked it coz it's still there!!!

OUR BAPTISM
I am innocent, but I am not a virgin
And I have not been with one before
so tell me how was i to know that been with one is going to be a baptism of fire

She is the pastor daughter and sings in the choir
At 25, she is a sight to behold
I guess her father must have lobbyied God
for she have more than her fair share of beauty

Desire, she must have seen in me each time she walks past
As I stood working as a usher.
No doubt, church folks will call it lust,
but am brought up not to use profanity like that

Time Check 9pm, and still pounding away on my laptop at the office
Get the presentation ready, or you re done for
was the parting shot by my bitching boss
So when my mobiles cries out it was such a relief to hear her sonorous voice

She is close to my office and wondering if am still there
And would give her a lift home as the heavy downpour has made Lagos
A desert of commercial buses as usual anytime it rains.
unhesistantly I obliged.

She breeze in, no She floated in like a cherubim
how was I to know that deep in her breast is the fire of hell burning.
For 15mins later, she complained of heat in the office
and went on to remove her blouse

I look up from my work and nearly had an heart attack!
She was too strong and inviting for even Samson to resist
And I aint no Samson-that is my sin.
She smiles invitingly and then it happens. ( No profanities)

While on her, I couldnt get in
Are you not a man, she said and Laughed
with one mighty thrust i tried harder and it gave way
I found myself in a hot moist virgy oozing out blood
like an active volcano in the gulf of mexico

She screamed and I jump out
we were a sight to behold
my hood was covered in blood wondering what just happened
And she started laughing hysterically.

I have Baptised you, she said, thinking this is my first time also
I saw red, I became mad, so this is all pre-meditated by her
I bundled her into the Car and at a dare-devil speed headed for the 3rd mainland bridge completely ignoring all her questions as to my actions and where we are going.

Slammed on the brake right in the middle of the bridge for dramatic effects
pulled the scheming devilish Cherubim out and threw her into the lagoon
Go for Baptism, I shouted after her.

I turned to go but my church mind pulled me back
wanted to jump in and rescue her but my sanity pulled me back
Idiot, you know you can't swim, why jump to your death sanity said.

I fished out my mobile and called the Pastor, yes her father
18mins, 34 seconds, he arrived with help-Yes i kept watch.
7mins was all it took them professional divers to bring her up the bridge.

No, she wasn't dead for she clung to one of the columns of the bridge
What happened, her father asked
without thinking I answered " I threw her in for Baptism"
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Pastor shouted
Still shivering, she burst into that hysterical laughter again.

, Wake Up, Wake Up, My wife shook me awake
, when you spend the whole night reading angry souls
, ranting about rantless rants
, Oh God I have been dreaming.

oooooooooook

maniac on the prowl

good write, just need to be more expressive

lol 3rd mainland bridge huh?

seduced by a virgin too

bonkin in ur office with doors being shut

blood on ur abunna

no condom abi?

Dear BIG-FELLA-WHO-KEEPS-BANNING-SISIKILL,

dude, i gotta tell you, i am VERY unhappy. VERY, VERY UNhappy. Emphasis on the "VERY".

Seriously man, why you gotta be like this?

Sisi's rude. Yes, but so are lotsa others on NL.

Sisi's harsh. Yes, but so are lotsa others on NL.

Sisi's very direct and says exactly what's on her mind, expletives and all. Yes, but so are lots AND lots of others on NL - hell, i think i even do worse'n that.

I mean, i dont wanna call names but dammit, mention that "bad" attitude that Sisi has and i'll give 10 peeps here on NL who have it worse - and yet THEY ARE STILL HERE!

Question: Why you gotta pick on Sisi then?

She's got another persona now, but that's cos you keep banning her ass. And frankly, i dont care about that; what i want is Sisi - i want her back as Sisikill, simple, un-hyphenated, un-underscored, and no "Jinx" or "Baby" neither. Just plain "Sisikill".

I miss Sisikill; Ariblaze misses her too; so does bluespice, Vescucci, Tgirl4real, spikedcylinder, Sistawoman, and practically everyone who's been around long enough here at LIT-NL. Gabry over at JOKES was un-banned some time back by public demand; well, i think Sisi deserves the same.

It's your goddamn courtyard we're all hanging out on, but you don't have to pull the jihad whenever just cos you can. Only bullies and assholes do that.

And if you don't gimme Sisi back, then that's what you are - a bully and an asshole.

There, i said it.

Now go ahead and ban me, too . . . . asshole.