God has no hand in marriage. It's all a myth and it's a blatant lie that Pastors sell. I was one of those disillusioned people who felt that God had a hand in marriage and selected our mates.

I have done all kinds of fasting (7 days - no water and no food, 14 days until dawn-7pm, 3 days, 21 days... ) since I was 21 years old. My parents gave me the deadline of 30 years to start my family.

I am NOW approaching 30 and still there's no one that speaks to my heart. Its very hard and I find myself very frustrated with God.

Now, I have to resort to my parents finding me a girl who I will marry and will be forced to grow to love. Something I had been trying to avoid.

I have been heartbroken and vulnerable with those who didn't deserve it and I've become mature in the process. Women only interested in me for my money and such.

Ooo well... Where is God in this matter? He is no where to be found.

I have to settle for arranged marriage. I am not angry, I just want anyone praying for a spouse to stop it with immediate effect. Have sex, do drugs, and enjoy yourself because there is no such thing as "the ONE"

You are the one who decides that you want to spend your life with someone - what everyone needs are skills to (1) choose a "nice" woman (2) learn how to get along with people

God will never send anyone. God has no hand in marriage. Don't believe the LIES that most people tell.

Na wa oh! I know that feeling.

God does have a hand in marriage if you chose to marry but the Bible says "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing". The finding part is entirely your business; you have to do the finding yourself with your own eyes! God will be there to order your steps and set you on the right path as you do the "search".

People praying do so for many reasons all geared towards preventing them from "looking in the wrong places". Are you righteous as expected by God? You are already on the right path if you are. It does not mean it will come easy or there wont be challenges when you are married to the ONE, but God will be there to sustain you and keep you to stand firm when the battle comes.

GOD has a hand in everything ...

You are free to believe anything else

Really have you put yourself out there or shelled up as CC said

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. - Pro 18.24

Awww. Slimyem save Obowumi please.

Are you dead? If the answer is no, then be patient, be hopeful and have faith in God
He makes it all beautiful in HIS time.

While others were busy maitaining relationships..

You were busy admiring your username and you expect God to do magic for you @ 30?


Well, its never too late to start all over..

and who says you can't find love on Nairaland?
I believe there are good ladies here.. Find one, Mr!

He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.

chaircover:
God is everywhere and He has a hand in everything! Its up to us to let him in.

100 likes!

Hi CC,

It's been a while. How are you?

Funny enough, you know after the fast, I usually found beautiful women. I'd meet them or be introduced to them but two things normally happened (1) they'd usually start pressuring me to marrying them without friendship (2) I'd like them so much that I spoil them with gifts and they get carried away then the relationship bores me or fizzles out.

It's overwhelming. My parents have given me everything and I don't want a wife to be part of what they give me.

obowunmi: Hi CC,

It's been a while. How are you?

Funny enough, you know after the fast, I usually found beautiful women. I'd meet them or be introduced to them but two things normally happened (1) they'd usually start pressuring me to marrying them without friendship (2) I'd like them so much that I spoil them with gifts and they get carried away then the relationship bores me or fizzles out.

It's overwhelming. My parents have given me everything and I don't want a wife to be part of what they give me.

Bros you just need to know how to act in a relationship. Do you really know what you want in a wife? If yes, when you meet one, take time to build a relationship, study her and see how it goes. No one will do that for you, not even God. Learn to take some responsibility and stop blaming God or the girls you meet!

Can you read? Where have I blamed the girls?

obowunmi: Can you read? Where have I blamed the girls?

I can sir. You said you were heartbroken by girls that dont deserve your love and those after your money. You were indirectly blaming them for your woes. But I agree with you that you need to be more mature!

Ok, it appears reading is a problem for you. Off this thread.

obowunmi: Ok, it appears reading is a problem for you. Off this thread.

Guy, your problems are even bigger than I thought. I'll just summarise that you got no "game"

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing..."


Stop whining and find her.
Must God do everything for you?


Spiritual connection has worked for some christians.

Pls what do you mean by spiritual connection?

How do I stop "finding" gold diggers?

Tune down your suppose wealth, mingle with people who don't know where you are coming from. Let friendship develop without tilting the balance in any direction with been too free with money or too stingy with it.
Allow people express themselves, that way you know them better.

Remember, marriage is not only about finding the right person but also been the right person.

Don't give up on prayer just yet but pray as if prayer will be the only solution, go out (not high circle groups but normal group) to meet people as if prayer will not work. That should work but you must be patient.

Another option is to look back at those you have met before, sometimes some have qualities that we had overlooked. The answer sometimes may be inward that may be why it seems God is not responding.

obowunmi: How do I stop "finding" gold diggers?

Thank you sir shift market.... Thank you.

Maybe, you should wait a bit longer/ Maybe God's will doesn't look like your will. pele

Luke 12:7 ' But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered'

Again in Matthew10:30 ' But the very hairs of your head are all numbered'

Luke 21:18 ' But there shall not an hair of your head perish'


@op, God is interested in minute details about our lives, if the hairs on your head have been numbered by God, then why do you think he is not interested in marriage.

if you have prayed and fasted for a Godly spouse, and there is no one yet, then it means God is trying to tell you that you need to improve with the you relate to people, God is trying to save you from trouble, can you marry 'you'? i mean somebody like you, can you? if the answer is yes, then you need to wait, for God's time, he makes everything beautiful in his own time. if not, then you need to work on how to relate with people. i believe yes or no, you still need to work on yourself. for example, how is your relationship with God? it is not only fasting and prayer, are you a serious christian? do you belong to a group in church? if i may ask, presently, what are you doing in the church?

I congratulate you for being single, you have time to improve on yourself, if you are not serious with your being single, you can never be serious even when you are married, so concentrate on your singleness and work for God. when God examines you and see that you are serious, and that you are good not to be alone, he will send somebody to assist you.

God bless you. God2man.

Gloriagee: Maybe, you should wait a bit longer/ Maybe God's will doesn't look like your will. pele

How long? Body noir be wood.

u def sound double minded. U're not sure if yu shd go the God route or settle for arranged marriage (in 2013!) or have sex or do drugs whilst enjoyin yourself cos there is no such thing as "the ONE".

God says You'll find me when You seek me with all yr heart. It's a heart thing and that's what will birth the connection. honestly, think u're so distracted. Fasting while cool is not a substitute for spiritual principles. Pray till you hear God's voice.

n bout the waiting, how r u sure that if yu wait for 6 mths, u'll not meet the ONE? #positivethinking

shiftmarket: Tune down your suppose wealth, mingle with people who don't know where you are coming from. Let friendship develop without tilting the balance in any direction with been too free with money or too stingy with it.
Allow people express themselves, that way you know them better.

Remember, marriage is not only about finding the right person but also been the right person.

Don't give up on prayer just yet but pray as if prayer will be the only solution, go out (not high circle groups but normal group) to meet people as if prayer will not work. That should work but you must be patient.

Another option is to look back at those you have met before, sometimes some have qualities that we had overlooked. The answer sometimes may be inward that may be why it seems God is not responding.

This!

Good thread... please keep the comments coming... Can I marry me? that is a really thoughtful question...

@Op, I can relate with your frustration but really what is the rush?.. why would you allow anyone who doesn't have much to loose if you end up in a bad marriage rush you into one. God is interested in you fulfilling your destiny and I know He knows all about your worries... Do your part.. read His word, I have found that for those God really care about, they are always forbidden to marry from among the heathen or the strangers. Choose within your faith and fold, choose based on enduring values. Don't choose in a hurry... you know how easy it is to make mistakes when something is hastily done. I think it is not healthy to rigidly insist that one must marry at a particular age.. it is ok to have such wishes but it should not be absolute. I have a feeling you are almost there, hence the frustration.

Thank you for your encouraging words. Can you talk with my mom because she's not greeing. She wants me to find someone like yesterday.

I spend an enormous amount of time travelling you know. So I need to be with someone that I trust and will not be carried away with little things.

Biko nu, what has drugs got to do with not being able to find a wife?

Abi na person say make you no sabi chyke woman? Hian o.

Btw OP, marriage is not by force, you have to want to get married before you get married, are you even prepared for it?

Seems like you just want your ma to be happy hence this thread, but if you are that desperate, I know a woman who's also desperate, she's 40 btw so lemme know.

The meanies have arrived.

Loool. Op, you are still whining about this issue. For a man you are rather desperate. When all the women are not good enough, maybe it's you. No one asked you here you are already talking about your parents money. Why won't you attract gold diggers? Real women will not be attracted to a man who is fed, clothed and wife arranged for him. In fact there is no attraction in a man that cannot work hard for his own, and one who cannot assert himself or survive without his parents money. You are on a long something