As a child, we suffered father's neglect. My mum single handedly took care of us. Things were never rosy but we tried. She gave birth to 4 kids among which was a girl. Of all her kids, 3 were able to graduate frm d university n one is into skilled labour. D road was rough but with God we made headway. At our peak, our father now surfaced only to want to take d glory thereby relegating our mother to d background. Am one of d kids. Right now i am confused, reason being that, my wife just put to bed and the child's naming is on monday. The shocker is that my father is insisting dt it must be done in his house. I refuted n he said he will disown me. Please, what should i do? Mind u, my father is a muslim n am a christian. I told him that i would love my child to be christened by my pastor in my own house. This is where ur advices come in. Please, help me out.

Your the father of your kid and you are the only one who should decide who and where the child is named.
The culture is there but you have to choose your path

**moved to Family**

Except you have some heritage or inheritance 2 lose, I don't see how disowning u can affect u. Besides, like Mynd_44 rightly put it, you're the father of ur kid and so u have the final say as to wat u want wit ur own child

Lekewatt: As a child, we suffered father's neglect. My mum single handedly took care of us. Things were never rosy but we tried. She gave birth to 4 kids among which was a girl. Of all her kids, 3 were able to graduate frm d university n one is into skilled labour. D road was rough but with God we made headway. At our peak, our father now surfaced only to want to take d glory thereby relegating our mother to d background. Am one of d kids. Right now i am confused, reason being that, my wife just put to bed and the child's naming is on monday. The shocker is that my father is insisting dt it must be done in his house. I refuted n he said he will disown me. Please, what should i do? Mind u, my father is a muslim n am a christian. I told him that i would love my child to be christened by my pastor in my own house. This is where ur advices come in. Please, help me out.

The child is YOURS and not HIS. It is unusual to have your child named in his house. Is he the one paying? Just say no and stick with it. He really can't disown you cos he never really owned you.

Lekewatt: As a child, we suffered father's neglect. My mum single handedly took care of us. Things were never rosy but we tried. She gave birth to 4 kids among which was a girl. Of all her kids, 3 were able to graduate frm d university n one is into skilled labour. D road was rough but with God we made headway. At our peak, our father now surfaced only to want to take d glory thereby relegating our mother to d background. Am one of d kids. Right now i am confused, reason being that, my wife just put to bed and the child's naming is on monday. The shocker is that my father is insisting dt it must be done in his house. I refuted n he said he will disown me. Please, what should i do? Mind u, my father is a muslim n am a christian. I told him that i would love my child to be christened by my pastor in my own house. This is where ur advices come in. Please, help me out.

The child is YOURS and not HIS. It is unusual to have your child named in his house. Is he the one paying? Just say no and stick with it. He really can't disown you cos he never really owned you.

I think your father lost the right to dictate to you. He sold that right by being an irresponsible dad. Also, you are an adult, old enough to sustain a marriage and take care of your own. You dont need your father financially, only for him to be a father for once in his life and STFU. Now, tell him that the child is yours and the naming will be held at your house. If he wants to attend, his presence will be greatly appreciated. If he doesnt, the naming will happen. Shikena.

Lekewatt: As a child, we suffered father's neglect. My mum single handedly took care of us. Things were never rosy but we tried. She gave birth to 4 kids among which was a girl. Of all her kids, 3 were able to graduate frm d university n one is into skilled labour. D road was rough but with God we made headway. At our peak, our father now surfaced only to want to take d glory thereby relegating our mother to d background. Am one of d kids. Right now i am confused, reason being that, my wife just put to bed and the child's naming is on monday. The shocker is that my father is insisting dt it must be done in his house. I refuted n he said he will disown me. Please, what should i do? Mind u, my father is a muslim n am a christian. I told him that i would love my child to be christened by my pastor in my own house. This is where ur advices come in. Please, help me out.

Can you give instances your mum was relegated?

@your baby's naming, is it a tradition of your family or he just brought it up?

Mynd_44: Your the father of your kid and you are the only one who should decide who and where the child is named.
The culture is there but you have to choose your path

**moved to Family**

gbam!

@baby_123, I think even if the dad was responsible he still does not posses the right to dictate to his grown, adult child.

This is a married man for petes sakes.

@Op you need to realise that you cannot continue to tag along your dad all along. There are times you will need to put your foot down and trust me, this is one of them.

Like someone rightly put, except you are ositioning yourself for his will or something then you need to look him in the face and tell him politely, "Dad, I am a grown man now with a whole family looking up to me. I think I got this dad. Hell I am sure I do".

Otherwise you will continue to live in servitude all your life.

And please note that I am not saying this because he was iiresponsibly( as you put it). I am saying this cos a son has to sit up and take responsibility of his life especially when he is married.

You need to stand you ground. Just say it in a polite way that you want your naming to hold in your own house and not in his. For God's sake you are a grown man now and your dad should allow you make your own decisions.
Btw, what is your mum's suggestion?

@all, my mum does not want to be bias, she said i should make my decision myself. When i said relegated, i mean my father wants to take all d praises which he did in my sister's wedding. Am not ready to give him that cos he neva deserved it.