“Am in my twenties and am intensely attracted to someone significantly older than me in fact am thinking of dating him.” This is from someone wondering about the appropriateness of this type of relationship. Many women are involved with older men for money these days without batting an eyelid. This article is not for such people but for anyone whose path of love has led him or her to that wonderful but older person and is wondering if it is right to go ahead with it.

Being attracted to an older person is quite normal. As humans it is possible to find all kinds of people attractive. But acting on this attraction is where we have to think clearly first. There are lots of women these days that prefer the older man not just for his being materially more comfortable but because he is more experienced and more mature about a lot of things. Several younger men are dating older women not because they could be sugar mummies but because they quite respect and appreciate them.

Well if you have found yourself at the verge of dating an older person it is best to ask first of all how old? How old are you compared to how old he is? I know all about the saying “age is nothing but a number” but it is still best to check out the age difference. Does this age difference make you feel okay or are you made anxious about it? Does it embarrass you especially with your friends? Remember time flies very fast. Would you be okay with this person say in the next five years?

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There is that part of giving up things that are appropriate to your age and assuming things appropriate to the age of the older person. A girl talked of how she missed all the silly things she used to do with her girl friends when she started a deep committed relationship with a man several years older. She had to spend more time with him and his older friends talking of and doing stuff she didn’t find particularly interesting although her guy was a very kind and thoughtful person but all through the time the relationship lasted, she felt very lonely and felt like she had lost herself or is losing out on life. You may want to consider this before you plunge in.

If the significant people in your life are not in agreement with the relationship you are likely to find that you have to keep the relationship a secret and that takes a lot of pleasure out of love and loving. Sneaking around if you think your friends would laugh at you or disapprove, has a way of getting tiring very quickly. Being under pressure to keep it low is not good for a love relationship. It is likely to strain the relationship with time. Keeping things underground or getting embarrassed when people ask why you are with an older person when there are loads of younger people can get frustrating and tiring.

There is also a limitation to what you can do together. You may not really like the same things no matter how young at heart your love interest is. Say music for instance you may like contemporary pop and he prefers classical music. This could get awkward if you get what I mean there will always be that generation difference. You may not like the same kind of gatherings; you may also not feel cool to take him to hang out with your friends. If he or she is lots older you are always going to draw attention if people see you both in public doing what lovers do like hold hands or kissing etc.

It might be exciting or flattering when an older person gets interested in you but I think it is wiser to think about it very carefully before you decide to step in.

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