French Man has taste for Human
Offal – Admits Cannibalism


A 26-year-old homeless man was
arrested late Thursday night by police
in Nouilhan after he allegedly cut out a
man’s heart and tongue so he could
eat them. The 90 year old victim was
attacked in his home after the man broke in. He bashed in his skull using
a metal implement lifted from the
resident’s barn. He then set his victim
on fire and cut out his heart and
tongue so he could cook them and eat
them. The burned body of the victim was
discovered by police along with some
cooked meat and white beans. The
homeless man had fled the house, by
time police had arrived, he assaulted a
man on a tractor, breaking his shoulder. He then broke into someone
else house and according to police,
picked up a shot gun, before being
chased out by the owner. Police
caught up with the cannibalistic killer
before midnight and were able to arrest him. The man, despite all his
actions seemed, “very calm” and “not
aggressive.”




As far as fetishes go this is one of the
smellier ones, a man who has autism
has been sent to prison, because of his
slurry fetish. David Truscott, aged 44,
has been known to roll around naked
in slurry (the excrement from cows) has been arrested a number of times.
He had been held in a mental health
hospital however he has now been
transferred to prison before he is
sentenced next year. 




On an 18-hole golf course in Cancun
Mexico a crocodile with a hatred of the
sport, attacked a British golfer, who
was enjoying a relaxing time away.
Dougie Thomson was trying to take a
shot from a bunker, which was near a tropical swamp when he was viciously
attacked by a crazed crocodile. Luckily
for Mr Thomson his friends were on
hand to beat the beast until it let its
grip go. 




A practical joker, paid with his life
when playing a practical joke on his
long suffering wife. Victor Hayles
apparently would always be pulling
pranks to scare his better half
however his latest prank turned out to be his last when he killed himself, by
hanging himself in the couple’s
conservatory. 




The testicle-eating fish nicknamed the
“ball-cutter” is thought to be heading
to the UK to sample some of our juicy
nuts! Men have been warned against
skinny dipping in UK waters and keep
to wearing tight, banana hammocks to protect their most prized possession
from this bollock crazy fish when in
the water. 



A Chinese woman has been killed by
her iPhone, the 23 year old died after
she was electrocuted when she
answered her iPhone. The phone was
plugged into the wall charging at the
time, when the lady named as Ma Ailun answered the call. 