I love many things in our African culture, but I believe some things are just created to control other peoples' life. For instance, the issue of telling elders everything you are about to do or are doing. It is reasonable when the said elder is like a parent or immediate family members.

My Story .......
I try my best to be independent and self sufficient. I live within my means and contented in what I have while striving for higher grounds. as such I keep my social life a private affair. I did my marriage last year. It was just the 2 families involve as agreed by my spouse. After the family TM, we headed to the marriage registry and solemnized our union. We hosted our families and few friends to a hot but close knitted reception. After that everyone started calling me names. Some even said my marriage is a fluke as I did not want people to know I'm married. Side talks don't move me. But when people I should respect at my base (ABJ) started saying i don't have regards for them, that is why I did my marriage without inviting or telling them. I was no more invited to any meeting involving people from my state in Abuja. A whole professor for my wife's villa denied my brother-in-law a scholarship opportunity. His reason was that the sister didn't invite him for our wedding. I paid little or no attention to these.
Two months ago, my wife successfully got a transfer from her coy to Abuja. I only introduced her to people around my neighborhood and my colleagues whenever she visits my office. Last Sunday, during announcement, a respected pastor said, "I am told 'Injured_man's wife is now with us but he has refused to introduce her to ELDERS." This clique of elders have a way of asking too many personal questions. They want to know everything you do. When you are traveling, the reason for traveling etc.

My questions are; Who are the true elders? Do we owe elders every milestone in our life? I am sure you have heard things like "So you bought a car without telling me" Must 'elders' know everything?

N/B: I use elders here to mean people older than you or in higher position.