Jealousy is an emotion we can all agree we have felt at one time in our relationship or the other. It sometimes helps us know our relationship is alive. It is very human to feel jealous or possessive of our partners. Just like any other human emotion like fear, aggression or anger it is natural to feel it and we can feel it in varying degrees. Mild jealousy can make a guy frown and change his countenance to see his girl smile at another guy. Acute jealousy on the other hand can make a guy get into a major brawl because he feels another dude is getting too familiar with his girl.

Jealousy uncontrolled can however become a major monster in a relationship. Zeniah’s relationship with her banker boyfriend soured badly because she just couldn’t bear him to be familiar with other females even his colleagues at work. She suspected and accused him endlessly of cheating on her and being in a relationship with any female he was intimate with. This completely exasperated him destroying the relationship. She confessed later she couldn’t explain her attitude but she constantly felt overwhelmed with fear that someone would steal him from her. Ngozi on the other hand is a woman who almost fell victim to another woman’s murderous jealousy. She narrowly escaped being publicly beaten and stripped naked by a woman who accused her of trying to steal her husband.

This shows how detrimental Jealousy can be. It can be quite detrimental to any relationship because it destroys the most important things in any relationship. It destroys trust, joy, peace growth, friendship etc. To be insanely jealous of who your partner talks to and to be so insecure about her friends and associates is to say that you do not trust your partner and no one likes not being trusted. Jealousy and possessiveness make some partners especially men unnecessary impose restriction and barriers on their partners ruining the free flow of communication and affection that should be in any relationship. Kate can’t remember how many times she had to deactivate her face book account to please her boy friend. She resents it. Now she has a new one with a false name and her boyfriend does not know. Her boy friend felt so threatened by her friends on Face book she had to deactivate to prove to her boyfriend that none of the people there meant anything to her. He had made her also stop calling some of her former platonic male friends from her service year and had particularly frustrated her friendship with her best friend on the grounds that the girl had too many male friends.

Jealousy destroys love because it would lead to a lot of unnecessary fights and rows when you should be loving each other. A little jealousy is good in a relationship after all it shows you or your partner is both not indifferent to each other or the relationship. But a lot of it can act like an inferno that if not carefully curtailed can burn down the relationship.


What is behind jealousy? Most of the time it is fear. Fear of losing a loved partner or a pleasant relationship. But lasting love cannot be built on any negative emotion .The best way to solve raging jealousy in a relationship is to address it head on. Jealousy restricts full expression within or outside any relationship. The partner exhibiting negative jealous traits must be called to order and given clear options and must be made to see clearly how his or her behavior is affecting you and the relationship. You will both have to find out what is triggering the jealous feelings and try to resolve it. Helping your partner build confidence and trust in you may take a while but it is the only way to get stability back into a relationship rocked by jealousy. Whatever it is make the erring partner understand his or her behavior is not just okay and is stifling your life. Do not be afraid to end any relationship that you are sure is feeding you negatively.

Join the latest clique in town today at www.4clique.com (mobile version also available) or download apps from BlackBerry, Android or iOS store.

To read from dating tips and interesting articles, join us at www.4clique.com/blog